室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors
第一季
剧集 | 室内奇兵（2016） | 导航列表
室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors S01E13
Part 1
Aug. 6, 2020, 5:49 p.m.
小心
Be careful.
我都不碰这里的吃的
Even I wouldn't touch the food here,
我连牦牛的肛♥门♥都吃过
and I've eaten yak's anus.
杰克 我们不是同意
Jack, I thought we agreed
不谈你的前女友们吗
we weren't going to discuss your ex-girlfriends.
而且我没打算点菜
And I wasn't going to order,
菜单太粘手了
my hands are just stuck to the menu.
你说了我们不用去高级餐厅
Well, you said we didn't have to go anywhere fancy.
先生 你的确做到了
And you, sir, delivered.
你觉得这算差吗
You think this is bad?
你应该见识下我的卧室
You should see my bedroom.
你想见识下我的卧室吗
Do you want to see my bedroom?
很难拒绝
Hard to resist,
但这是我们第三次约会
but this is our third date.
我们应该谈谈
We should probably talk.
唯一会引出更可怕下半句的前半句是
Uh-oh, the only sentence that ever ends worse than that one
我不想显得种族歧视 但是
is "I don't mean to be racist, but... "
好的 我重新组织下语言
Okay, let me rephrase.
我不想显得种族歧视 但是
I don't mean to be racist, but...
你觉得我们的关系会有结果吗
...where do you see us going?
瑞秋 我觉得你非常棒
Rachel. I-I think you're awesome-- ?
唯一会引出更可怕下半句的前半句是
The only sentence that ever ends worse than that one is
糟糕 我通常用的是名牌安全套 但是
"Oops, I usually use name-brand condoms, but... "
我只是现在没想安定下来
Look, I'm just not looking for anything serious right now.
所以
So...
分手来一炮
breakup sex?
我应该带着尊严离开
I should probably just leave with my dignity.
那么应该是谁甩谁
So who should breakup with who here?
不如你甩我
Uh, how about you breakup with me
-我可以扇你耳光 -好的
- but I get to slap you. - All right.
瑞秋 结束了
Rachel, it's over.
再见
Bye.
再见
Bye.
你刚和那个女人握手吗
Did you just shake that girl's hand?
拜托告诉我你们早上来了一炮
Please tell me you guys banged in the morning
然后今天把认识的过程倒着演了一遍
and you're just living the rest of your day in reverse.
本来挺顺利 然后她提到了未来
Well, it was going great and then she brought up the future.
她想定义你们的关系
Ah, she wanted to define the relationship.
典型的定关系
Classic DTR.
连你也说缩写词吗
Ugh. Not you, too, with the abbreviations.
你一人走在荒野里时 被爱玛咬了吗
Did Emma bite you when you were walking along the moors?
虽说你不想安定下来
You know, you may not be looking for anything serious,
但我们这年纪大多数人想
but most people our age are.
变老后这是正常的
It's natural when you get old.
什么 我不老
What? I'm not old.
试着坐在吧台凳上
Try to sit on that bar stool
不发出任何声音
without making a sound.
正式宣布你老了
You're officially old.
而且没钱
And not rich.
这是最可怜的老人
Which is the saddest kind of old.
冷静
Be cool.
那个变♥态♥老头一直看着我们
That creepy old guy won't stop staring at us.
没事 他转头了
It's okay, he's turning away.
你好
Hi.
我是凯莉
I'm Kaylie.
杰克·戈登
Jack Gordon.
连名带姓
Wow. First and last name.
你是名人吗 还是说你太自负
Are you famous or are you just so self-centered
借此抬高自己身份
that you name-dropped yourself?
两者都是
Both.
杰克·戈登 我知道时间尚早[刚认识]
Well, Jack Gordon, I know it's early,
但你觉得我们要去哪里[有何结果]
but where do you see us going?
我的天 你也是这样吗
Oh, my God, you, too?
我刚收到短♥信♥说DJ卡托普托
'Cause I just got a text that DJ Kotopoto
在废弃的色情剧院有秘密表演
is spinning at a secret show in an abandoned porn theater.
我没看见用隐藏镜头拍真人秀的人
Well, I don't see the To Catch a Predator guy,
我去
so I'm in.
-一边走一边喝 -好的
- Let's drink on the way. - All right.
但我得警告你 我一喝醉就毒舌
But I have to warn you, I'm a sarcastic drunk.
我的天 你太完美了
My God, you're perfect.
你们偷了我的酒杯吗
Hey, are you stealing my glasses?
来追我们啊 老人家
You try and stop us, old man!
老天
Oh, God.
很好
Oh, good.
-你怎么在这里 -我住在这里
- What are you doing here? - I live here!
哥们 你和我室友搞上了吗
Dude, did you hookup with my roommate?
哥们 你和梅森的室友搞上了吗
Dude, did you hookup with Mason's roommate?
快醒醒 杰克
Wake up, Jack!
我家闹臭虫 所以我借住梅森家
My place has bed bugs, so I'm crashing with Mason.
兄弟 你真是肌肉男一个
Bro, you are swole.
伙计们 我一直在车上等
Guys, I've been waiting in the Uber.
你们大叫什么
What's with all the screaming?
室内奇兵 第一季第十三集
艾丝特 你好吗
Hey, Esther, how are you?
我的房♥东在监视我
Ugh. I've got my landlord spying on me,
好有压力
so it's like pressure's on.
坚持住
Hang in there.
杰克 你来了真是太好了
Uh, Jack. I'm glad you're here.
恐怕我必须召集紧急会议
I'm afraid I've had to call an emergency meeting
讨论
to discuss...
昨晚和凯莉咋样啊
what happened with Kaylie last night.
好的
All right.
你们想听什么样的
Uh, well, what would you like?
赛后现场报道
Like a post game play-by-play?
还是基础性教育
Or more of a birds-and-the-bees kind of thing.
我不需要基础性教育 我看过《动物星球》
I don't need the talk, I've seen Animal Planet.
真不敢相信凯莉和老人家搞上了
I can't believe Kaylie hooked up with an old.
为什么大家一直说我老了
Why does everyone keep saying that I'm old?
哥们 你坐下时
Dude, when you sit down,
听起来像火车进站了
it sounds like a train stopping.
对 你带着在餐厅拿走的糖块
Yeah. And you carry pocket candy you took from a restaurant.
有时候我想吃甜的
Sometimes I crave a sweet.
慢着 你们觉得我多老了
Wait, how old do you think I am?
超过30岁以上的我分不出来
I can't tell anyone's age over 30.
你在这里工作的第一个月
The first month you worked here,
我以为你和罗兰是大学室友
I thought that you and Roland were old college roommates.
慢着 你真心觉得我和罗兰是同学吗
Wait. You honestly think Roland and I went to school together?
你真心觉得杰克可以考上牛津大学吗
You honestly think Jack could have got into Oxford?
我也不想让你们大开眼界
Well, I hate to blow your minds,
但凯莉和我玩得很开心
but Kaylie and I had a great time,
我们会再次约会
and we're going out again.
杰克 拜托
Oh, Jack, come on.
你这个年纪的男人不可能搞定凯莉的
There's no way a guy your age can handle Kaylie.
她喜欢派对 讨厌承诺
I mean, she loves to party, hates commitment,
对任何事都不拒绝
says yes to everything.
这些对我心目中完美女人的描述
Literally every word that I would have tattooed
我愿意纹在腰部以下屁♥股♥缝以上
on the lower back of my perfect woman.
我还没老到不能约会凯莉
I am not too old to date Kaylie.
你们都会发现这点的
And you can find out
我们今晚见面的地方是
for yourselves when we all meet up tonight at...
埃迪的酒吧
Eddie's.
我们是四点见吗
Are we meeting there at 4:00,
这样你不会错过早客特♥价♥餐
so you don't miss the early bird special?
是啊
Yeah.
我们晚点去 错过好鱼
Let's go later and miss the good fish.
杰克 这对你来说是未知领域
Jack, this is uncharted territory for you.
你需要向导
You're gonna need a guide.
需要这辈子都在研究
Somebody who has studied millennial girls
千禧女生的人
his entire life.
你是珍·古德吗[与黑猩猩群生活多年]
Oh, so you're like Jane Goodall.
你和威严的生物生活在一起
室内奇兵（2016）
The Great Indoors
剧集 | 室内奇兵（2016） | 导航列表