室内奇兵（2016）

The Great Indoors S01E08

Part 3 Aug. 6, 2020, 5:48 p.m.

Jack is a monster.
杰克应该爬到巴士下受死
Jack should just crawl under a bus and die!
你最好把事情说清楚但不要伤害她
You better clear things up without hurting her.
艾米是我最年长的朋友
Amy is my oldest friend.
她30岁了
She's 30!
其实她32岁
She's actually 32.
秘密
Secrets.
最好去和艾米说清楚
Well, better go end things with Amy.
这可不容易
This is not easy.
我可能会跟她说这句话
Is something I'll probably say to her.
半分钟后见
See you in half a minute.
-记住你和艾米是同事 -啊哈
- Remember, okay, you work with Amy. - Uh-huh.
每天同一栋大楼
In the same building, every day?
-很好 -杰克
- Great. - Jack!
集中精神
Focus!
她不是你在里约
Come on, she's not some Carnaval trollop
勾搭上又甩开的嘉年华荡♥妇♥
you can hit and quit in Rio.
你和艾米是同事
You work with Amy, okay?
你最好优雅地分手
So you better get out of this gracefully,
否则你将活在地狱里
or your life will be hell.
好的
Okay.
杰克·戈登冒号♥ 实干家
Jack Gordon, colon, Man of Action--
版权最近被批准了
copyright recently approved--
知道何时要承认错误
knows when to admit his mistakes.
卡洛尔
Carol,
你解除公♥司♥恋情的禁令
when you lifted the ban on office dating,
无疑是在床上拉屎
you really pooped the bed.
抱歉戈登先生
I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon,
但解除这项规定
but getting rid of that policy
是我为公♥司♥做过的最好的决定
was the best move I've ever made for this office.
为什么
Why?
卡洛尔
Oh, Carol.
老天
Oh, God!
杰克
Hey, Jack.
艾米把好消息告诉我了
Amy told me the good news.
在我的文化中两个人开始约会
In my culture, when two people start dating,
你得送礼物
you give them a present.
这些是安全套
They're condoms.
不是应该有包装才对吗
Hm, I really thought these would have wrappers.
你似乎很享受这一切
You seem to be enjoying this.
难得看到自大的杰克·戈登不自在
Nice to see cocky Jack Gordon uncomfortable for once.
是啊
Yeah.
尤其是因为你和杰克间的秘密
Especially because of that secret you have with Jack.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
我想你知道
Oh, I think you do.
真正的挑战
A real challenge--
美味
delicious!
告诉我发生了什么
Just tell me what happened.
性戒瘾盗用公♥款♥
Sex? Rehab? Embezzlement?
性斗动物赌博车祸逃逸
Sex? Animal fighting? Hit and run?
性罗兰的私生子
Sex? Roland's secret son?
见鬼女人
Damn it, woman!
你一点情绪也没有
You're showing no emotion!
这怎么可能
How is this possible?!
我是英国人
I'm British.
我想真正的问题应该是梅森
I think the real question should be, Mason,
你为何如此痴迷于秘密
why the obsession with secrets?
谁背叛过你
Who betrayed you?
母亲父亲赞达亚
Mother? Father? Zendaya?
啦啦队
Cheerleading squad?
我想知道的都知道了
I've got all I need.
好消息
Good news!
公♥司♥批了我的笔记本电脑
I got approval for a laptop,
我可以在这里和亲一起做全年薪资纳税表了
so now I can work up here and W-2 with my boo.
杰克你最好快点和她谈
Jack, you better talk to her soon.
她只点过其他三个男人的鼻头
She's only booped, like, three other guys.
对
Yeah.
爷们一点胆小鬼
Man up, wuss.
记得我刚才叫你胆小鬼吗真是对不起
Hey, remember when I just called you a wuss? I'm really sorry about that.
我只是终于和爱玛拉近了距离
I just, I'm finally bonding with Emma.
太激动了
It's so exciting.
克拉克你出♥卖♥♥♥朋友博取女生好感
Clark, you sold out a friend to score points with a girl.
说明你长成男人了
That means you're growing as a person.
谢谢
Thanks.
你怎么处理艾米的事
How are you going to deal with this Amy situation?
我不知道
Oh, I don't know!
通常我只是跟女人说结束了然后上飞机
Usually I just tell a woman it's over, hop on a plane,
于是她就成了运输安♥全♥局♥的问题
and suddenly she's the TSA's problem.
我可以帮你
I could help you.
好吧你和很多女生分手过吗
Uh, okay, so you've broken up with tons of girls?
没
No.
是她们甩我
They've broken up with me.
除了泰勒·斯威夫特
I know more about break-ups than anyone except Taylor Swift
和她约会过的人以外我最懂分手
and every person she has ever dated.
我被9个女人甩过
I've been dumped by nine women,
我只约会过其中5人
and I've only dated five of them.
慢着 4个陌生人就这样走到你面前
Wait, wait, so four strangers just walked up to you
说"结束了"吗
and said, "It's over"?
有一个骑着单车
One of them was on a bike.
重点是我感觉还好的那几次被甩
The point is, the times I actually felt okay with it
是对方表现出了关心
was when the person showed they cared
让我说出了感受
and let me talk through it.
别急
Okay, hold on.
那个女生骑车经过大叫
So the girl just rode by and shouted,
我不想再看到你了
"I don't want to see you anymore,"
然后继续骑车吗
and kept going?
你教我怎样追到女生
You tried to teach me how to get the girl?
我要教你怎样和女生分手
Now I'm going to teach you how to break up with the girl.
以正确的方式
The right way.
这怎么可能做到
How are you going to possibly do that?
用我已被证实的方法就是
With my proven method, which is...
等等给我一小时
Hold on, give me an hour.
想太多
Overthinking!
你在教我分手
Are you coaching me through a breakup,
还是杰森·伯恩又出来祸害人间了
or is Jason Bourne on the loose again?
我多想的原因
The reason I overthink things
就是我关心别人的感受
is because I care about what other people are feeling.
这是你需要学的感同身受
That's what you need to learn: empathy.
我们没时间让你变成
Okay, now, we don't have the time to turn you
进化完全的人类
into a fully evolved human being,
我会教你如何表现的像是一个
so I'm going to teach you how to appear to be one
用的办法就是
with the help of...
请别说角色扮演
Please do not say role-playing.
我是艾米你是你
I am Amy, you are you.
杰克
Hey, Jack!
工资单
Ugh, payroll!
今晚我们做什么甜心
What are we doing tonight, sweetheart?
我要和你分手
Um, I'm breaking up with you.
我们没结果的
This isn't working.
很直接
Very direct.
但你想让她好受些
But you want to leave her feeling good.
你有什么建议
Well, what do you suggest?
在我走人之前先轻松聊聊衣服吗
Maybe some light over-the-clothes stuff before I bounce?
老天薪酬部一团糟
Oh, my God, things are a mess in payroll,
我妈的坐骨神经痛又发了现在你又不要我了
my mom's sciatica is acting up, and now you are leaving me?
-摸我 -不
- Touch me. - Oh, no.
人类接触这是表现感同身受的做法
Human contact-- that's how you show empathy.
你怎么连手背都这么多汗
Oh! How is the back of your hand clammy?
抢答环节
All right, lightning round.
我们之间没有未来吗
So there's no future for us?
我不知道你有什么打算