前夫总动员（2011）

请进
Come in.
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi, hi. - Hi.
- 把你的笔记本带来啦 - 谢啦
- Brought over your laptop. - Thank you.
唉 我刚做了一大盆沙拉 你要点么
Hey, I just made a big salad, you want some?
哦 不 谢了
Ah, no thanks.
你这么苗条还吃沙拉啊
But why are you eating salad, you look so slim!
你的头发丝质润滑啊
Your hair is really nice and shiny.
你人见人爱 花见花开啊 Holly.
Boy, you're funny and pretty. People like you, Holly.
哦 娘咧 你听到什么消息啦
Oh, my God, what have you heard?
我被解雇了吗
Am I getting fired?
比这还糟糕
I wish the news was that good.
你知道那个你明天要参加的年度律师节么
You know that annual lawyer's gala you have tomorrow night?
知道啊
Yeah.
- 你前未婚夫Brad 也要去
- Your ex-fiance Brad is coming.
什么
What?
而且他还要带个女伴去
And he's bringing a date.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
很好
I'm fine.
我不去了
I'm not going.
- 不是吧 - 是滴 随你怎么说
- Really? - Yeah. Call me crazy,
我只是不太想看见那个背叛我伤我心的
I just don't feel like seeing a guy who cheated on me
男人
and broke my heart.
然后呢 你就躲在你公♥寓♥里
So what? You're just gonna spend the night
躲一晚上吗
hiding in your apartment?
不是 我要去酒吧买♥♥醉
No, I'm gonna hide in the bar, too.
好吧 Holly 你是可以这么做
Okay, Holly, that's one way of reacting,
或者你可以挺胸抬头穿着一身全新的礼服
or you could walk in there with your breasts held high,
辣到不行的走进那里
looking smoking hot in a brand-new dress,
然后他就会想 我失去了我曾经拥有过的最好的东西
and make him think, "I lost the best thing I ever had."
这个可以有哦
I could do that.
你可以 你能 而且你也要这么做
You could, you can, You will.
没错
Yeah.
我要自信且性感的走进去
I'm gonna walk in there looking' so confident and sexy,
那肯定让他悔的肠子都青了
it's gonna kill him!
尤其是当他看见你挽着一个大帅哥一块去
Especially when he sees a hot guy on your arm.
恩
Mmm.
那得换盒大点的冰激凌
We're gonna need a bigger tub.
- 伙计们 看看这个 - 嗯
- Hey guys, check this out. - Mmm.
- Oh. -
她很骚 是吧 恩
She's bad, right? Mmm.
她叫Michelle 花了我俩月呢
Her name's Michelle. Yeah. It took me about two months,
但是最后我还是说服了她明晚和我出去
but I finally convinced her to go out with me tomorrow night.
额 等一下 她上周不是来过这么
Uh, wait a minute. Wasn't she just here last week?
没错
Yes.
不是她 不是她 不是她
Not her, not her, not her.
啊 是她啦
That's her. Ohh.
- 不错啊 - 哦 哦
- Yeah! - Oh!
那么 她为嘛这么久才同意
So, uh, why did it take her so long
和你一起出去呀
to agree to go out with you?
她觉得我是个花♥花♥公♥子♥
Somehow she got the crazy idea that I'm a player.
各位 我想请你们帮个忙
You guys, I have a favor to ask of you,
真的很重要
it's really important.
早就料到啦
I saw this one coming.
我会给你配种 但是不会付孩子大学学费
I will donate the seed, but I'm not paying for college.
心意领了
Good to know.
听着 我得去个工作聚会
Look, there's a work thing I have to go to,
而且Brad也会去
and Brad's gonna be there.
- 额 - 所以我需要你们其中的一个
- Uh... - So I need one of you guys
来当我的男伴 这样一来他就会注意到我 然后想
to be my date so he'll look at me, and think,
我失去了我曾经拥有过的最好的东西
"I just lost the best thing I ever had."
要我选啊 Phil
I'd go with Phil.
没错 要我也用他
Yeah, he's who I'd use.
我的意思是 虽然我不搞基
I mean, I mean this in the straightest way possible,
但他真心是一大帅锅哥
he's a jaw-dropper. I'm telling you.
好啦好啦好啦
All right, all right, all right,
但我可要警告你呀 我可是
but I'm warning you, what you got here
一团熊熊的烈火
is some major firepower.
-小心使用 以免烧着 - 哦 谢啦
- Use these guns with caution. - Oh, thank you.
好啦 我一会告诉你明天的时间地点什么的
All right, I'll give you all the details about tomorrow night.
明晚 是啊
Tomorrow night? Yeah.
啊哦
Oh.
啊哦什么啊
What's with the "Oh?"
哦 没事 我只是刚好和一个女孩有个约会而已
Oh, it's nothing', I just have a date with a girl
我追了她两个月嘛
I've been trying to hook up with for like two months.
- 哈 - 额 这就是她
- Huh. - And, uh, that's her.
- 哦 - 叫Michelle
- Yeah. - Name's Michelle.
估计以后她再也不可能和我出去了 但是 额
She'll probably never go out with me again, but, uh,
没关系的 我还是给她打电♥话♥告诉她我爽约了
it's cool, I'll just call her and tell her I'm gonna cancel.
你也太没人性了吧
You're not gonna stop me?
好啦 你不用去啦
All right, you're off the hook.
不用担心 明晚你将挽着
Don't worry, tomorrow night on your arm you will have
爵士 Haskell Boothroyd Lutz三世
Sir Haskell Boothroyd Lutz III.
金融家 慈善家兼前任突尼斯大使
Financier, philanthropist, and former ambassador to Tunisia.
我打算装瘸子来昭示我的军旅生涯
I was thinking of using a limp to reflect my war years.
- Haskell 你人真是太好了
- That is so sweet, Haskell. -
Stuart.
Holly 能陪你出席真是非常荣幸
Holly, it would be an honor to escort you.
哦 谢谢啦
- Oh, thank you. -
也许我没有Phi那么帅
Now, I might not have Phil's firepower
或像 Haskell那样的参军史
or Haskell's war record,
但是 我也是有自己的人格魅力的
but... ahem... I do have a certain charm,
而且我舞跳得很好的
and I'm no stranger to the dance floor,
不管是探戈
whether it's the tango, the meringue,
或是禁忌之舞 兰巴达
or the forbidden dance, the lambada.
明晚 那是真不可以跳
Tomorrow night, it's really forbidden.
Holly Franklin 男伴陪同
Holly Franklin, plus date.
Stuart Gardener 医生
Dr. Stuart Gardener, D.D.S.
两位 放松 Brad还没来呢
Relax, you guys, Brad's not here yet.
哦 太好了
Oh, thank God,
我一进电梯就开始提气了
I've been sucking' it in since the elevator.
Holly 你看起来美极了
Holly, you look amazing.
你穿上这件裙子 真是凹凸有致
That dress just says, "I got it, you want it,
让人欲求不能啊
but you're never gonna get it."
要的就是这效果
That is exactly what I was going for.
我希望他看见我时会气的满脸抽搐
I hope when he sees me he'll have a seizure
气绝身亡
and swallow his tongue.
- 请吧 - 好滴
- M'lady. - Yeah.
Stuart 你为什么这么笑啊 啊
Stuart, what's with the smile? Hmm?
哦 额
Oh, uh,
我想显摆一下我的牙
I like to show off the dental work.
就算是为我诊所做做的广♥告♥
It's like a billboard for my practice.
哦 现在你这广♥告♥牌的意思是
Yeah, well, right now it's a billboard saying,
我是Holly的吓人男伴 快闭上吧
"I'm Holly's creepy date." So stop it.
去给我拿点香槟 好吗
Go get me some champagne, would you?
Struart
嘿 Jeff 最近怎样啊
Hey, Jeff, how are you man?
- 你来这干嘛啦 - 我妻子是位律师 记得吗
- What are you doing' here? - My wife's a lawyer, remember?
-哦 对 - 嘿 好些日子不见 我还
- Right. - Hey, your old neighbors
挺想你的呢 啥时候来我这待会呀
miss you, buddy, you should come by the 'hood.
额 也许过些日子去吧 我听说Lane小区
Ahh, well, maybe I will, I heard cottage Lane
终于装上了我申请的那个减速牌了
finally got that yield sign that I lobbied for.
是啊 每次我不得不减速就想到你啊
Yeah, I think of you whenever I slow up.
啊
Ahh.
- 那你在这干啥呢 - 哦 我约会呢
- So what are you doing' here? - Oh, I'm on a date.
真有你的
Good for you.
你也能向前看 我真是替你开心
I'm glad to see you're moving' on with your life, too.
- 也能 - 额 你知道的
- Too? - Well, you know,
就是你前妻Lorna订婚的事情之类的啦
with your ex-wife Lorna getting' engaged, and all.
哦 天哪你竟然不知道
Oh, man! You didn't know.
真是太对不起了 哦 没事没事
I'm so sorry. Oh, no, no,
没关系的
No worries.
就像你说的 我已经向前看了 对吧 对大家都好