前夫总动员（2011）

The Exes S01E04

Part 2 March 18, 2021, 3:36 p.m.

Which means you're gonna have to go on the date
就是说你得代替我去跟她约会
With her and tell her that you're me.
并假装你是我
Even if I agreed to this,
就算我同意
How am I gonna make it through a date?
我怎么可能撑得过整场约会?
You guys know everything about each other.
你们对彼此都知根知底
I'll teach you.
我来教你
I'll train you.
我来训练你
I'll become your sensei.
我来当你的老师
Before I'm done with you,
在把你训练好之前
You will eat, sleep, and breathe Haskell Lutz.
你吃饭睡觉呼吸都得像我
You trying to talk me into this or out of it?
你是想说服我加入还是不加入?
Phillip, I think these got mixed in
菲尔普你这件可能
With my laundry by mistake.
跟我要洗的搞混了
Um, they're mine.
嗯这是我的
Ooh.
唔
Perfect, you can wear them on your date with Rebecca.
很好你跟瑞贝卡约会可以穿它
You're finally gonna meet Rebecca?
你终于要跟瑞贝卡见面了?
Uh, Phil is.
啊是菲尔
Oh, no, Phil's not.
噢不哥不去
Check out what this genius did.
你看看这个天才做了什么好事
He posted my picture online instead of his,
他在网上用我的照片冒充他自己的
And now he wants me to pretend to be him.
现在他想让我冒充他去约会
Can you believe that?
不觉得很可笑吗?
That's only fair. What?
这才公平嘛什么?
You owe him. Come on.
你欠他的得了吧
You think you're easy to live with?
跟你住一块他容易么?
How many times has this guy had to deal with angry women
就因为你没给那些女人回电♥话♥
Banging on the door because you never called them back?
这家伙替你挡那些踹门的泼妇挡了多少回?
One of them kicked me in the crotch and said,
她们其中一个还踹了我胯下说
"Give this to Phil."
"把这一脚给菲尔"
Fine.
好吧
One date. Two drinks.
一次约会两杯酒
You're buying.
你买♥♥单
Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
噢谢谢! 谢谢! 谢谢!
Aww, you guys worked it out. I'm proud of you.
噢你俩终于把这事搞定了我真以你们为荣
I'm raisin' me some fine boys here.
看我把这些孩子教养得多好
Now I'm talking like a widowed rancher.
我听起来真像守寡的农场女主人
Okay, Haskell Lutz pop quiz.
好的哈斯克尔·鲁兹的快速抢答
Rebecca and I share a common passion, which is?
瑞贝卡跟我共同的激♥情♥所在是?
A love of astronomy. I always wanted to be?
对天文学的热爱我一直想成为?
An astronaut Because?
宇航员原因是?
At a young age, you realized you loved space
在你小的时候你意识到你对宇宙的热爱
And had a gift for sitting on your ass
并且对于长时间坐在一个地方
For enormous periods of time.
你很有天赋
Ahh.
啊
I had the right stuff.
我对此真的很有天赋
Just too much of it.
就是过头了点儿
And Rebecca?
瑞贝卡呢?
She smells. No!
她身上有味儿不是!
She's a perfumist. Oh, right. Right.
她是个香水调制师噢对对
She creates scents.
她创造气味
Which reminds me.
这提醒了我
Hey! Hey!
嘿! 嘿!
It's the scent that Rebecca blended especially for me.
这是瑞贝卡为我特别调制的香味
"Summer Lutz."
"夏日鲁兹"
Oh, well, I smelled Lutz last summer.
噢好吧我知道去年夏天的鲁兹是什么味
It didn't smell anything like that.
可不是这个味儿
Hey--ooh, nice-lookin', Phil.
嘿...喔看起来挺不错嘛菲尔
Yeah. But no Phil here.
那是但这里没有菲尔
For the next two hours, I'm Haskell Lutz.
接下来两个小时我是哈斯克尔·鲁兹
You sure you can pull this off?
你确定你能搞定这次约会?
B.S.-Ing a woman and then sending her on her way?
把一个女的当猴儿耍再把她成功送走?
Yeah, you're good to go.
对好好干
Stuart!
斯图尔特!
Are you happy?
这下你满意了?
You fed the cat, and it came back.
你施舍善心的那只流浪猫又回来了
Homeless Bob is down in the laundry room again.
那个流浪汉鲍勃又到楼下洗衣房♥来了
Well, I'm not surprised.
对此我一点不感到惊讶
Because the stains on his clothes are one thing,
因为他衣服上的污渍是一♥码♥事儿
But there's no detergent strong enough to remove the stains
但这个社会在他心灵上留下的肮脏印记
Society puts on a man's soul.
是再强的去污剂也洗不掉的
Wow.
哇
I can't remember the last time someone
我都记不清上次谁对我如此废话连篇
So completely wasted my time.
浪费我时间是什么时候了
Go toss him!
去把他处理掉!
Haskell!
哈斯克尔!
Rebecca! Rebecca.
瑞贝卡! 瑞贝卡
The perfumist from Seattle.
来自西雅图的香水调制师
okay.
好吧
I have to admit I'm a little nervous.
我得承认我有点小紧张
I was afraid that when we met in person
我担心当我们真的见了面
It wouldn't be as special as what we have online.
网上那种特别的感觉就会消失不见
The, uh, chemistry wouldn't be there.
呃我们之间的化学反应就不见了
Oh, but it is.
噢但它还在
Yeah.
对
The chemistry is happening.
现在正在起化学反应
The atoms are mixing.
我们的原子在交融着
We got it going on.
我们让它继续发扬
It's funny, Haskell.
有趣的是哈斯克尔
You imagine how someone's gonna sound in person,
你一直在脑中幻想一个人真实的嗓音是怎样的
And you're not it.
而事实却完全相反
Oh, well, that's because, Rebecca,
噢好吧那是因为瑞贝卡
I'm also nervous.
我同样很紧张
As a matter of fact, I'm as nervous
事实上我现在的紧张程度
As that time in high school when I was a drum major
就跟我高中当乐队指挥时期
And I accidentally led the marching band onto the freeway.
意外地把游♥行♥乐队引到高速路上一样
Which was a blessing in disguise,
你那是因祸得福
Because if you hadn't gotten kicked out of band,
因为如果你没有因此被踢出乐队
You would have never joined the diving team.
你就永远没机会加入后来的跳水队
Haskell was a diver?
我还是个跳水选手?
led your team to state.
你还带队参加全国比赛
Shut up!
闭嘴!
Haskell, I'm getting a weird feeling.
哈斯克尔我感觉有点不对
Something doesn't feel right.
有什么地方不对劲儿
No, wait, no.
不等等不
Look, Rebecca, can I be honest with you?
你看瑞贝卡我能跟你说实话吗?
Yeah.
当然
Okay. Okay.
好吧好吧
Being here with you,
在这儿跟你相聚
Seeing you for the first time,
第一次跟你见面
I'm forgetting who I am.
我都忘了我自己是谁了
yeah.
是的
But sitting here with you,
但跟你坐在这儿
Holding your hands and looking into your eyes,
握着你的双手跟你四目相对
I know this is right.
我就知道这感觉没错
That is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me,
那是你对我说过的最甜蜜的话
Haskell rascal.
哈斯克尔小坏蛋
I don't know about you,
我不知道你怎么想
But this rascal could use a drink.
但这个小坏蛋想喝两杯
Let's order our favorites.
我们来点我们的最爱
Okay. Okay.
好的好的
Um...You know what?
嗯...你猜怎么着?
Why don't you order it?
不如你来点?
All right.
没问题
Two virgin lavender lilac martinis, please!
两杯不含酒精的紫丁香马提尼谢谢!
Flowers and no alcohol.
有花还不含酒精
Let's get this party started!
准备嗨起来吧!
Hi, Holly. Oh! Jeez
嗨霍莉噢! 老天...
Stuart, you scared the crap out of me.
斯图尔特你要吓死我啊
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
噢抱歉抱歉