前夫总动员（2011）

You know, I'd love to, but the thing is...
我很愿意 但是事实上...
The thing is, you don't want to see me anymore.
事实上你不想再看到我
No, actually... oh, no. It's happening again.
没有 事实上... 哦不 又来了
Oh, god. I meet a really nice guy,
哦 天啊 我遇见一个好男人
And I think there's a connection,
我觉得互相来电
And I jump into bed way too soon,
然后太快就蹦上了床
And then here I am. Whoo, I'm an idiot.
然后我就在这里了 喔 我就是个白♥痴♥
No, deanna, it's okay. No, it's not.
不是 黛安娜 没事的 不 有事
It's not. I'm so embarrassed.
有事 我好尴尬
I feel like a fool. No, no, no, no, no. No.
感觉就像个白♥痴♥ 不不不不不不
Deanna, look, you're a wonderful person.
黛安娜 听着 你人很好
Oh, my god.
哦 天啊
This whole thing has been so humiliating.
这简直太丢人了
Dr. Gardner, I'm sorry.
加德纳医生 对不起
I don't think I can work for you anymore.
我不能再为你工作了
What? No, deanna, don't say that.
什么? 别 黛安娜 别这么说
We've been together for years. We're a team.
我们都一起工作好几年了 我们是个团队
But seeing you reminds me of phil.
但看见你会让我想起菲尔
And he reminds me of every bad choice I've ever made.
他让我想起我做过的所有坏的选择
I'm sorry, dr. Gardner. I quit.
对不起 加德纳医生 我辞职
Did I hear a door slam?
刚那是摔门声吗?
Yep, that was stuart's assistant.
嗯 是斯图尔特的助理
I missed her again?
我又错过她了?
Hey, stuart?
嘿 斯图尔特?
Uh, might've misjudged this one. Sorry.
额 这回判断失误了 对不起
You couldn't have slept with my receptionist?
你就不能和我的接待员上♥床♥吗?
I've been trying to fire her for years.
我想炒她好多年了
What do you want me to do?
你想让我做什么?
I want you to fix deanna.
我要你把黛安娜治好
I want you to make her feel better about herself.
我要你让她找回自我
Like she hasn't been rejected yet again.
像她被拒绝前那样
How am I supposed to do that?
这让我怎么办?
Date her for the rest of my life?
一辈子都和她在一起?
Tell her that you're gay.
告诉她你是基
Get out of here. Oh, oh, oh.
少来 哦哦哦
Actually, that's brilliant.
真是高招
I mean, if you're gay, she can't take it personally.
如果你是基 她就不会觉得是她的问题
Forget it. Phil, come on, man.
得了 菲尔 拜托 哥们儿
I need you to do this for me.
我需要你为我这样做
Ever since my divorce, being a dentist
自从我离婚后
Is the only part of my life that I can depend on.
牙医就是我生活的唯一寄托
I-I-it's my sanctuary.
它就像我的避难所
And without Deanna, that's all gone.
没有黛安娜 这一切都没了
Please do this for me, as a friend.
作为朋友求你帮我这一次
Stuart. No. No way.
斯图尔特 不 没门儿
Listen, your practice might be your sanctuary.
听着 你的工作也许是你的避难所
My dating life is mine.
我的约会生活对我来说也一样
This news could tweet around the world
这个消息一旦散布出去
Before I even got home,
很快就会人尽皆知
And the last thing I need is women in bars asking,
哥最不想要的是酒吧里的女人问
"Why is gay Phil hitting on me?"
"基佬菲尔干嘛搭讪我?"
"Why is gay Phil hitting on me?"
"基佬菲尔干嘛搭讪我?"
No! No! No, no, no! No!
不! 不! 不! 不! 不!
What a drama queen.
真是个戏剧女王
God, this is fun.
老天 这儿太好玩了
I gotta let loose more often, man.
我应该经常这样放松放松 姐们
How long has it been since you went clubbing?
你多久没泡酒吧了?
Oh, gosh. When did people start using cell phones?
噢 上帝 人们是啥时候开始用手♥机♥的?
Look, we're next. All right. Stick close.
看看 到我们了 好吧 跟紧点儿
They know me here. Okay.
这儿的酒保认识我 好的
Oh, what's up, Eden?
噢 你还好吗 艾登?
Hey, Bradford. Hey, Bradford.
嘿 巴拉福特 嘿 巴拉福特
Uh, tonight it's me plus one.
呃 今晚是我加这位
Well, you're no problem. But your plus one is.
你是没问题啦 但加这位有点问题
What's wrong with her plus one?
她加的这位有什么问题?
Well, this place has an image
好吧 这地儿是有一定形象的
They're trying to maintain.
他们一直在努力维持
They want the crowd to have a certain...
他们希望来这儿的都有一定的...
Look.
长相
And I don't have that look?
我长相不好吗?
Probably did in the 90s.
也许在九十年代还行
Do you see anybody else over 25 here?
你看这儿有谁超过25岁的?
No. It's just us gen-x, y, z...
没有 不就我们这些70后 80后 90后
What letter are we on now?
现在该是哪个年代了?
I'm sorry. I-I can't let you in.
抱歉 我不能让你进去
Well, I-if she's not going in, neither am I, all right?
好吧 如果你不让她进去 我也不进去
And you're really gonna feel it at the bar.
到时候在吧台 你就后悔了
Suit yourself.
请自便
Hurry, hurry.
快 快
Hi, Bradford.
嗨 巴拉福特
Just, uh, testing out your rope.
只是 呃 检验下你的绳子
It's, it's real strong.
真的挺结实的
Just like you.
就跟你一样
Please step back.
请退出去
Look, Bradford, I gotta get in there and have some fun.
你看 巴拉福特 我只是想进去好好玩玩
Okay? I haven't been out in a long, long time.
好吗? 我已经很久很久没有出来玩了
I'm getting that.
看得出来
Fine.
算你狠
I don't want to go in your stupid club anyway.
反正我也不屑到你那傻不拉几的酒吧里玩
I mean, I-I have a very fulfilling life.
我过得可丰富多彩着呢
I am a partner in a major law firm
我是一家大型律师事务所的合伙人
So I don't need to waste my time
所以我不需要在这儿浪费我的时间
Partying with a bunch of toddlers.
跟一群乳臭未干的小毛孩儿一起混
Oh, and by the way, kids, the 90s were awesome.
噢 顺便提下 孩儿们 九十年代赞毙了
We all had money,
我们都很有钱
And getting through the airport was a breeze.
坐飞机就跟家常便饭一样
Oh, sir? Um, it looks like your shoe's untied there.
噢 先生? 呃 你的鞋带好像松了
Yeah, I know. Excuse me. Sorry.
是的 我就说 抱歉 借过一下
Thanks, yeah. Oof. Thanks, honey.
谢谢 对 喔 谢谢 亲爱的
I gotta get up here. Yeah.
我得爬上去 好的
Oh, I'm getting in. Ha, ha.
噢 姐要进来啦 哈哈
Hey, you. I-in the third stall.
嘿 就你 我在第三格
Could you pull me in?
你能拉我一把吗?
Well, thanks for meeting me, Deanna.
很感谢你来见我 黛安娜
Look, there must be something that I can do
听着 我一定能够
To convince you to stay.
说服你留下来
The patients need you. I need you.
病人需要你 我需要你
Please, come back.
求你了 回来工作吧
I'm sorry, dr. Gardner, I can't.
我很抱歉 加德纳医生 我办不到
Even this feels awkward.
光是坐这儿都让我觉得尴尬
I'm gay.
我是同志
What?
什么?
Deanna, I'm sorry
黛安娜 很抱歉
I came across so...
我那天实在是...
Incredibly heterosexual the other day.
表现得太异性恋了
But I'm not.
但我不是
I'm gay.
我是同志
I'm proud of you, Phil.
我为你感到自豪 菲尔
For being such a proud gay man.
因为他是个如此引以为傲的同志
Wait a minute. I see what's going on here.
等等 我知道这是怎么回事了
I'm not an idiot, although I feel like one.
我可不傻 尽管我这样觉得
Now it all makes sense.
现在一切都说得通了
Your divorce, moving in with two men.
你的离婚 然后跟俩男人搬一块儿住
You're gay, too, aren't you, dr. Gardner?
你也是同志 我说的没错吧 加德纳医生?
Me? No. No, I'm not gay.
我? 不 不 我不是
Oh, Stuart, drop the facade.
噢 斯图尔特 别装了
Stuart and I are lovers.
斯图尔特跟我是一对
But I don't get it. Why did you sleep with me?
我就不明白了 那你干嘛跟我上♥床♥?
Well, we had a fight, and I lashed out
那是因为我们大吵了一架
By jumping into bed with you.
于是我就跟你上♥床♥好气气他