前夫总动员（2011）

The Exes S01E04

Part 1 March 18, 2021, 3:36 p.m.

Wendy, I had a great time last night.
温迪我昨晚很开心
You are a cutie.
你真可爱
I ain't gonna argue with you there.
这点我就不跟你争了
Yeah!
耶!
Morning, Haskell. Shh! Hold on.
早哈斯克尔嘘! 等等
Just 'cause your date is over doesn't mean mine is.
你的约会结束了不代表我的也结束了
Oh, you online with your cyber-squeeze?
哦网上约会呢吗?
Yeah. We should double sometime.
嗯什么时候咱可以来个四人约会
I'll bring my laptop.
我会带上笔记本
Wow, you and Rebecca have been dating for a while.
哇哦你和瑞贝卡也处了一段时间了
Seems like you guys are getting kind of serious.
你们好像有点认真啦
Haskell's got a girlfriend?
哈斯克尔有女朋友?
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so shocked.
抱歉我没有要大惊小怪
You've got a girlfriend?
你居然有女朋友?
What is so strange about that?
这有什么好奇怪的?
In fact, we're on a date right now.
实际上我们现在就正约会呢
"How is the weather in Seattle?"
"西雅图的天气怎样?"
Ah, so the girlfriend's from Seattle, huh?
啊她是西雅图的嗯?
Yep.
嗯
So she comes here? Nope.
那她来这儿? 不
So he goes there? Nope.
那他去那儿? 不
Hang on.
等等
Haskell, have you ever actually
哈斯克尔你到底有没有
Been in the same room as your girlfriend?
和你女朋友同处过一室?
Nope.
没有
But I spent 12 years in the same room
鉴于我和我前妻
With my ex-wife.
同处一室十二年
Trust me, it's overrated.
相信我那并不管用
So, you've got this girlfriend,
就是说你处了这个女朋友
But all you do is sit around and video chat?
但你们只是坐在这儿视频聊天?
No, no. No video.
不不没有视频
One can express oneself so much more intimately
文字能够更加贴切地
With just words.
表达一个人的情感
I don't mean to pry,
我并不是想多事
But how do you have sex?
但是你们怎么上♥床♥啊?
Oh, there's an app for that.
哦有个这方面的应用程序
Oh, hey. Listen, guys...
哦嗨听着朋友们...
Oh, holly. Holly.
哦霍莉霍莉
Prepare to be weirded out.
准备好有件超诡异的事
Haskell's on a date with his virtual girlfriend.
哈斯克尔正在和他的虚拟女友约会
Oh, Rebecca? Tell her I said hi.
哦瑞贝卡? 替我打声招呼
All right, listen.
好了听着
Um, there's a, uh, problem down in the laundry room
额洗衣间那儿有点麻烦事
And I need a man, phil.
我需要一个男人菲尔
Whoa, hey, hang on, hang on.
喔嘿等等等等
I mean, how come you automatically, you know,
我说你怎么就直接越过我们
Go to Phil?
叫了菲尔?
He's not the only man here.
这儿不只他一个男人
Okay, fine.
好吧行
Um, there's a big, scary homeless man
嗯楼底下洗衣间
Down in the laundry room,
有个高大又恐怖的流浪汉
And I need help booting him out.
我需要有人帮我把他哄出去
You want to get that, Phil?
你想去吗菲尔?
Oh, I would,
哦我是没问题啦
But I'd rather sit here and watch you squirm
但我现在倒想坐这儿看你
Like a scared little girl.
吓得跟个小姑娘似的
All right, butch, you're up.
行了娘娘腔就你吧
That the homeless guy?
他就是那个流浪汉?
No, Stuart, that's the party planner from 4c.
不斯图尔特那其实是宴会策划人
All right.
好吧
Don't worry, I got this.
别担心我能搞定
Whoa. That is one large bum.
喔这块头可真够大的
It's go time, cupcake.
去吧小个子
Listen, buddy.
听着哥们儿
This...uh, this laundry room is for tenants only,
这个...额这个洗衣间只供房♥客使用
So I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
所以请您离开
Now, we can do this the hard way
您是想要武力解决
Or we can do it the easy way,
还是和平解决
And I, for one, am praying for the easy way.
我呢祈祷是和平解决
I didn't mean to upset anyone.
我并不想给别人带来不便
I'll get out of here right away.
我马上就走
Sorry.
抱歉
No, I'm sorry.
不是我抱歉
I didn't mean to be such a bully.
我并不是想欺凌弱势群体
You know what? Take your time.
这样吧你慢慢来
And finish that spin cycle,
把这些洗完
Or you'll never get the wrinkles out.
要不衣服褶了这辈子都弄不平了
What are you doing, Stuart?
你干什么呢斯图尔特?
I'm showing something called compassion.
我在表达同情
By the way, sir, I didn't catch your name.
对了先生我还不知道你的名字
My name's bob.
我叫鲍勃
Hi, bob. I'm Stuart.
嗨鲍勃我是斯图尔特
This is holly. We live here in this building.
这是霍莉我们就住这楼
Why don't you just tell him I live alone?
你怎么不干脆告诉他我一个人住?
Oh, great. Now I just told him.
哦这下好了我刚告诉他了
Just stop overreacting, okay?
别这么过激行不?
He's not a threat.
他不是坏人
Uh, here you go, bob.
额给你鲍勃
20 bucks? Thanks.
二十块? 谢谢
Why don't you just open him up a 401k?
你怎么不干脆给他办个养老基金?
Listen, stranger.
听着陌生人
Just finish with your business,
赶紧洗完
And then you'd best be moving on.
然后走人
When did I turn into the sheriff of tombstone?
我啥时候成了管墓地的警长了?
Hey!
喂!
What are you doing barging in here?
你干嘛闯进来?
Can't you see I want to be alone with my lady?
看不出来我想和我的女士独处吗?
Sorry. Sorry.
抱歉抱歉
Didn't realize you were on a date.
没注意到你正约会呢
Ah, you're stuck in here too, huh?
啊你也被困这儿了哈?
Come on, man. He's got a lady over.
拜托哥们儿他正招待女士呢
All right, look.
好吧听着
I'm a pretty open-minded guy, okay?
我这人思想其实挺开明的
Man and woman. Woman and woman.
男人和女人女人和女人
Man and man. It's all great.
男人和男人都好
Man and laptop?
男人和笔记本?
I'm not marching in that parade.
要有这种游♥行♥ 我可不参与
Oh, God!
哦天啊!
No! No! No! No!
不! 不! 不! 不!
Haskell, is everything okay?
哈斯克尔还好吗?
Rebecca's flying into town tomorrow
瑞贝卡明天要飞这里来
And she wants to see me.
她想见我
Ah, well, it's about time.
这不是迟早的事么
What's wrong with that?
有什么问题吗?
I don't think she would recognize me
我觉得按照我发给她的照片
From the picture I posted.
她不会认出我的
What'd you do?
你做了什么?
Put up an old picture of yourself?
放了一张年轻时的照片?
No, I put up a new picture...
不是我放了一张新照片...
Of you.
但是是你的
Haskell, why?
哈斯克尔为什么?
Why would you put a picture up
你为什么放我的照片
Of me and not yourself?
而不放你的?
Well, let's face it.
额还是面对事实吧
My male modeling days are over.
我的男模生涯已经结束了
Sure, I might get some hand and foot work,
当然了我手和脚可能还行
But the pretty is gone.
但容颜已老
Now we've got a big problem!
现在我们有大♥麻♥烦了
What do you mean "we"?
你说"我们"是什么意思?
Well, she thinks I look like you,
她以为我长你这样