前夫总动员（2011）

The Exes S01E01

Part 1 March 18, 2021, 3:35 p.m.

Come on, Stuart.
来吧斯图尔特
Come on, this is exactly what you need right now.
来吧这正是你现在需要的
Moving in with a bunch of divorced guys
和一群离婚的男人住在一起
would mean that I've given up hope.
就意味着我放弃了希望
That my marriage to Lorna is over.
意味着我和洛娜的婚姻彻底完蛋了
Stuart, as your attorney, let me assure you,
斯图尔特作为你的律师我得向你说明白
your marriage to Lorna is over.
你和洛娜的婚姻确实彻底完蛋了
Remember? She signed the papers a week ago.
还记得吗? 她一周前签了协议书
That doesn't mean anything.
那说明不了什么
In the darkest ink I have ever seen.
那字签的纸都快被戳穿了
Well, maybe she was... She said, "yay."
嗯也许她... 她说 "耶"
Holly, I'm sorry.
霍莉我很抱歉
It's just... I miss being married.
只是... 我很想念结婚的感觉
I miss my wife. I miss my house.
我想念我的妻子我想念我的房♥子
No, Stuart, no more missing, okay?
不斯图尔特别再想念了好吗?
Remember what we've practiced?
记得咱练过的口号♥吗?
"I'm a divorced man, and I'm ready to move on."
"我是离婚的男人我准备好翻开新的一页"
I'm a divorced man,
我是离了婚的男人
and I'm ready to move on.
我准备好翻开新的一页
Did you mean it? Not really.
你真心的吗? 才怪
That's the spirit.
这就对了
You know, what if they don't want a roommate?
喂如果他们不想要个室友怎么办?
I mean, are you sure?
你真的确定吗?
I mean, what if they don't like me?
我是说如果他们不喜欢我呢?
What if I don't like them?
或者我不喜欢他们呢?
How long have they been divorced?
他们离婚多久了?
Stuart, I answered less questions to pass the bar.
斯图尔特姐穿过酒吧都没收到这么多问题
Now, stay here. Why?
呆在这儿为什么?
Because I wanna be the one to give them the good news.
因为我想先向他们传递下好消息
Come insky.
进来噻
Oh, hey, Haskell, it's...
哦嗨哈斯克尔是...
hold onsky.
等等噻
I am seconds away from selling
我马上就要卖♥♥出
300 Official World Cup Vuvuzelas.
三百个世界杯官方呼呼塞拉了
These loud, annoying horns? Yeah.
就是这些聒噪的喇叭? 对
How much are you gonna make?
你能赚多少?
Well, after processing,
嗯除掉加工费
taxes, shipping and handling,
税运输费手续费
I should clear...
我会赚到
Nothing.
一分钱也没有
Hey-hey.
嗨嗨
Did someone order six feet of sexy?
是有人订了六尺美人吗?
Phil, does a line like that ever work?
菲尔说这种话有用吗?
Apparently, it does.
很明显有用
Holly, I want you to meet the lovely...
霍莉来认识下我们可爱的...
Alicia. Alicia.
艾丽西娅艾丽西娅
Alicia is a very accomplished...
艾丽西娅是位很有造诣的...
Waitress. Waitress!
服务员服务员!
Right, waitress!
对服务员!
Right, yeah.
嗯对
Yeah, actually, Alicia was leaving.
事实上艾丽西娅要走了
She has to get back to the, um...
她得回到...额...
Restaurant?
餐厅?
Yes, yes.
对对
Okay, guys, I have great news.
好了朋友们我有个好消息
I found a roommate for that third bedroom.
我为三号♥房♥间找到了房♥客
I didn't know we were looking.
我怎么不知道我们在找室友
Well, that is how
额美好的室友故事
all great roommate stories begin.
都是这么开始的
So the mother Hen's taking in another stray.
看来我们的鸡妈妈又领会了一只迷途的小鸡
Well, may I remind you,
亲容我提醒下
you were one of those strays.
你曾经也是只迷途的小鸡
So was Haskell.
哈斯克尔也是
What's he like?
他什么样?
Oh, you know, easy-going.
哦就是很容易相处
Really respects boundaries.
给彼此空间
Super-cool, super-cool.
很棒很棒
You know, when you lie, you say everything twice.
你知道吗当你说谎的时候你话都会说两遍
No, I don't. No, I don...
我才没有我才没...
picking a new roommate is a delicate matter.
挑选新室友是件棘手的事
He's gotta fit in. Take Haskell and I.
他得能融入我们就像哈斯克尔和我一样
We've said, what, 12 words to each other
我们上个月说了差不多
in the last month?
十二个字?
If that. Yeah.
那就是吧嗯
We got a good thing going.
我们相处得很融洽
We don't get involved in each other's lives.
我们不干涉彼此的生活
You know, I don't know what you had for breakfast.
其实我根本就不知道你早餐吃了什么
I don't even know your last name.
我都不知道你姓什么
Fist bump. Too intimate.
击拳太亲密了
Right.
没错
All right, well, I'll take 200 bucks off
好吧如果你们让他住进来
next month's rent if you guys take him.
下个月免二百房♥租
You're marking the guy down?
你为了那个男人减价?
It's not a good sign.
这可不是好迹象
All right, well, the offer expires in 30 seconds.
好了提议三十秒后失效
He's here, isn't he?
他已经来了是不是?
No, he's not. No, he's no...
他才没有他才没...
open the door.
把门打开
All right.
好吧
Stuart... oh, hi. Come in.
斯图尔特哦嗨进来
I want you to meet Phil chase.
这是菲尔·蔡斯
Hey, buddy, how's it going?
嗨兄弟你好吗?
Good to meet you. That's Haskell Lutz.
很高兴认识你那是哈斯克尔·鲁兹
Hi, what's up.
嗨你好吗
Uh, first of all, I want to thank you guys
额首先我想感谢你们
for, uh, letting me live here in the man cave.
让我住在这个男人窝里
And, uh, just so we get off on the right foot,
额为了让我们有愉快的开始
I want you to know that I am gonna do my share.
我想说的是我会自觉做好我的部分
Where's, uh... where's your chore schedule?
你们的值日表在哪里?
We don't have one.
我们没有值日表
Well, then, I guess we've found our first chore.
额那么我想我们就有第一项家务了
Hollyyyyy.
霍莉!!
Oh, this is so adorable.
哦这简直太有爱了
I smell bromance in the air.
空气里充满着基情
Ah, good morning, Haskell.
啊早上好哈斯克尔
I made my special scramble for breakfast
早餐我做了特制拼盘
to celebrate our first morning of living together.
庆祝我们合住的第一个早上
So you're gay, huh?
这么说你是同性恋嗯?
No, I'm not gay.
我不是同性恋
Hey, I could care less.
听着我可以不在乎
But if you are, I'm not gonna walk around
但如果你是我就不♥穿♥着内♥裤♥
in my underwear.
走来走去了
I don't want to be a tease.
我不想被意淫
Ah, good morning, Phil.
啊早上好菲尔
I made eggs.
我做了煎蛋
Awesome.
赞啊
I didn't even know we had pans.
咱居然有锅啊
Whatcha thinking?
你在想什么?
I'm thinking I paid someone half my money
我在想我付给某人我的一半工资
to never hear that question again.
是不想再听到刚才的问题
Yeah, yeah, you know,
行行你知道
marriage... marriage is a tricky little devil, isn't it?
婚姻...婚姻是狡猾的魔鬼不是吗?
I know with mine... Look, look.
我知道和我的... 听着听着
Stuart, this apartment is a sharing-free zone.
斯图尔特这间公♥寓♥是公共场所
Just think of me as the guy at the urinal.
就把我当成在小便的人吧
Nod. Say nothing.
点头什么也别说
Keep it moving.
该干嘛干嘛
Who is it?
是谁啊?
Your overworked and underpaid assistant.
你那活多钱少的助理
Hi-hi.
嗨