足球教练（2020）

教练 你天生就这么善解人意 就像《飞越疯人院》里那个院长
Coach, you are a natural-born caregiver. Like Chief from Cuckoo's Nest.
我更像是泰伯
I was always more of a Taber guy.
但是说实话 我其实没跟罗伊说
But if I'm being honest, I actually never got around to telling Roy.
别这么看我 他自己猜出来了
Now, don't give me those eyes. He figured it out all on his own.
我看出来你现在高兴了 但是先别高兴
I can see you're happy now, but don't be.
因为我仔细想了一下...
'Cause I've been thinking about it and...
我决定让罗伊作为对阵曼城的首发球员
well, I'm starting Roy against Man City and that's that.
听着 让他坐冷板凳不仅是对他的侮辱
Look, putting him on the bench wouldn't just be humiliating to him,
这其实会影响到他的生计
it could actually affect his livelihood.
你比任何人都清楚 对我来说 输赢不是最重要的
And you know better than anyone that all this ain't about winning to me.
因为那并不能决定成功与否 对吗?
'Cause that ain't how we measure success, right?
该死的 当然是了!
Damn it, it is!
嘿 谁把爆竹塞你屁♥股♥里然后点炸了?
Hey. Who put a firecracker up your butt and lit it?
你!我受够了
You did! And I'm sick of it.
听着 我们在堪萨斯的时候 我理解你的这种使命
Look, I understood this mission when we were in Kansas.
但那些只是孩子 而这些是职业球员
But those were kids and these are professionals
输赢对他们很重要
and winning does matter to them.
对我也很重要 这没什么不妥的
And it matters to me. And that's okay.
-对吗 梅? -没错
-Ain't that right, Mae? -A-fucking-men it is.
你怎么不明白呢?输球会引发一系列后果
How do you not get it? Losing has repercussions.
我们输了就会被降级
We lose, we get relegated.
被降级了 那一切就结束了 我们什么成就都没有
We get relegated, this is over and we will have built nothing.
而且你选择顾及一个球员的感受 而不是履行教练的职责...
And if you wanna pick a player's feelings over a coach's duty to make a point...
我不想跟这么自私的人喝酒
I don't wanna drink with someone that selfish.
这是我这辈子见过的最性感的画面了
That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
拿好东西
Get your things.
她玩你呢
She's been toying with you.
将军 伙计
Checkmate, mate.
-不用了 -你对坚果过敏?
-I'm good. -You got a nut allergy?
我对手指过敏
I got a finger allergy.
我看看还有什么 有红酒
What else have I got to offer you here? We got red wine.
有茶
We got tea.
两天前的煮面水
Two-day-old pasta water.
我喝茶吧
Tea's fine.
听着 我很抱歉叫你去死
Look, I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself.
我通常更善于隐藏自己的愤怒
I'm usually better at hiding my anger.
你这么认为?
You think so, huh?
了解自己
Know thyself.
安息吧 苏格拉底
Rest in peace, Socrates.
我跟我侄女说 我可能不会再踢球了
Told my niece I might not be playing.
她问我能不能给她买♥♥冰淇淋
She asked if we could go get ice cream.
嘿 至少你有可以聊聊天的人 对吧?
Well, hey, at least you had someone you could talk to, right?
冰淇淋好吃吗?
How was the ice cream?
好吃 很美味的冰淇淋
Good. It's fucking ice cream.
是吧?冰淇淋最好了
Yeah, right? Ice cream's the best.
就像看比利乔的现场 你知道吗?
It's kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live, you know?
永远不会失望
It never disappoints.
不过我会胃胀气
It does give me the toots though.
我是说冰淇淋 不是比利乔
The ice cream, not Billy Joel.
我问她如果我不踢球了 她还会不会看比赛
I asked her if she was still gonna watch the match if I wasn't playing.
她怎么说?
Yeah?
小混♥蛋♥说会看 眼睛都没眨一下 就看着我说的
Little shit said yes. Didn't even blink. Just straight into my face.
嘿 演艺圈就这样 不是吗?
Well, hey. That's showbiz, ain't it?
《茶煲表哥》里维芙姨妈换人的时候
I promised myself I was never gonna watch Fresh Prince again
我发誓绝对不会再看这部电视剧
when they swapped out Aunt Vivs.
但老实说 只要他们还留着卡尔顿
But truth be told, as long as they let Carlton do his thing,
我还会抽时间坐下来的
I was always gonna take a minute and just sit right there.
花絮:阿方索里贝罗
Sidebar: Alfonso Ribeiro,
19世纪、20世纪、21世纪 最伟大的肢体喜剧演员
the greatest physical comedian of the 19th, 20th and 21st century.
恰当举例
Case in point right here.
很经典的动作 是吧?
Iconic, yeah?
我从来不知道一个成年人在我面前 学卡尔顿我该作何反应
I never know how to react when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me.
你光是看到影子就应该在干嘛了
You could see a silhouette doing this, you know exactly what it is,
你知道这是谁的招牌动作 这是绝无仅有的阿方索...
you know exactly who's doing it. It is the one, the only, Alfonso--
-别吵了! -抱歉 希普利夫人!
-Knock it off! -Sorry, Ms. Shipley!
我们因为这事吵了一周了
It has been a whole thing this last week.
总之 你知道我们能怎么做吗?
Anyway. You know what we could do?
你这个赛季大伤小伤不断
You've been hurt off and on all season.
不如我们就说你受伤了不能上场怎么样? 没必要觉得丢脸
Why don't we just say you're injured, you can't play? No shame in that.
如果我还想进入下个赛季的话 这能保护我的价值
That would help protect my stock if I wanna move next season.
也许可以去一个愿意首发我的俱乐部
Maybe to a club that actually wants to start me.
拜托
Come on.
如果我最终只能去该死的美国踢球
What if, God forbid, I end up having to play in fucking America,
顺便一说 我肯定是一枝独秀了
where I'd dominate, by the way.
他们会说:“噢 这就是足球?”
They'd be like, "Oh, is this football then?"
显然 我是希望你上场的
Well, obviously, my preference would be to have you there.
不论是明天的训练 还是比赛
At practice tomorrow and the game.
但是 你要做正确的事
But hey, you gotta do what's right for you.
我能考虑一下吗?
Can I think about it?
如果你不考虑的话 我会说你是一个傻瓜
I'd call you a big dummy, poo-poo face if you didn't.
跟我说实话 这是恶作剧吧?我是说茶
Be honest with me. It's a prank, right? The tea.
等我们这些游客不在的时候 你们都知道这玩意难喝得要死
Like, when us tourist folks aren't around, y'all know this tastes like garbage.
不是 我很喜欢
No. I love it.
你才不爱呢 这是鸽子汗液
You don't love it. It's pigeon sweat.
太可怕了
Horrible. Horrible.
是啊
Yeah.
不要小的 把大的加回来 他手小
No, get rid of the small one and bring back the tall one. He's got bigger hands.
饼干时间到了
It's biscuits o'clock.
-希金斯!你回来了! -是啊!
-Higgins! You're back! -Yeah!
太好了 我知道我可能 对一些人而言太守旧了
All right. Well, hey, I know I may be a little too old-school for some folks,
但我还是要说 噢耶
but I'm gonna say it anyway. Hell to the yeah.
-很高兴见到你 -我也很高兴见到你
-Good to see you. -Nice to see you too.
-给你 老板 这是你的 -谢谢 泰德
-Here you go, boss. Those are yours. -Thank you, Ted.
你一定要尝尝
You've got to try one of these.
他才不要 分享是美德 但我给希金斯带了一份
No, he does not. Caring is sharing, but I brought Higgins his own.
什么?
What?
你怎么知道我会回来?
How did you know?
我有预感会看到你
Well, I had a hunch you were gonna be here.
-是的 -哇
-Yeah. -Wow.
其实 这是给特伦特克里姆女儿的 她今天三岁了
Actually, those were for Trent Crimm's daughter. She turns three today.
-但如果你能收下 对我而言意义更重大 -什么?不行
-But it means more to me if you had 'em. -What? No. No, no. Come on.
没关系 她不会记得
No. It's okay. She won't remember.
泰德 你已经告诉她了?
Ted, you've already told her?
嗯 几周之前就说了 她一直很期待
Yeah, weeks ago. She's been looking forward to it.
但她才三岁 她不会记挂太久的 没事
But she's three. She'll bounce right back. It'll be fine.
-不行 -不 我坚持让你收下
-No way. -No, no. I insist. I insist.
我逗你呢 我开玩笑的
I'm screwing with you. I'm just messing around.
我预料到你会回来 我亲自为你做的
I predicted this whole thing, and I made those myself for you.
谢谢
Thank you.
好吧 两位 一会见 好吗? 加油 灰狗
Okay, y'all. I'll see you in a little bit, okay? Let's go, Greyhounds.
这绝对是给小女孩的
Yeah, these are definitely for a little girl.
也许他认为你又傻又爱玩又神秘呢
Maybe he thinks you're silly and playful and mysterious.
当然了
Oh, sure.
(肯特)
好了 伙计们!大家都听好
Okay, fellas! Need y'all to listen up.
教练
Coach.
-现在... -我知道现在可能不是时候 教练
-Now-- -I know now's not the best time, Coach,
但那天我丢下你走开后 一直觉得身体不舒服
but I have been feeling physically sick since walking away from you the other day.
而且昨天晚上 我做了一个可怕的噩梦
Plus last night, I had a horrible nightmare
我梦见我像乌鸦一样把你啄死了
that I was pecking you to death like a crow.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
没关系 内特 我们没事了 好吗?
It's okay, Nate. We're all good in the hood, all right?
-好 -但是 嘿 帮我个忙
-Yeah. -But hey, but do me a favor.
记得在梦里跟我道歉 这样两边都和解了
Try to apologize to me in your dream so we're good on that side of things too.
-好的 当然 -谢谢
-Yeah. Of course. -Thank you.
伙计们 我们面临一场艰难的比赛
Now, fellas, we got ourselves a heck of a match comin' up, yeah?
我需要你们...
And what I'm gonna need from all of y'all--
抱歉 伙计
Sorry, mate.
我六岁的侄女找到了我女朋友的震动棒
My six-year-old niece found my girlfriend's vibrator.
所以我得带她去扎个耳洞
So I had to take her to get her ears pierced
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