公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

她有四个女儿 名字都是D开头
She has four daughters, all with D names.
道恩 丹妮尔 迪娜 达格玛
Dawn, Danielle, Dina, and Dagmar.
她们五个总想给我介绍个发型师
The five of them are always trying to set me up with a hairdresser.
好吧 我承认我确实
Well, I have to admit I have certainly
在长岛做了很多蠢事
had my share of Long Island shenanigans.
我记得有一次
I remember one time,
我喝了不少鸡尾酒
uh, I'd had a few cocktails,
鼓起勇气 我骑上了一头大象
and, uh, on a dare, I rode an elephant
然后在塞奥塞特的一个婚礼上 吐在了泳池里
and then threw up in a pool at a wedding in Syosset.
我之前在亨普斯特德拍过一集布拉佐斯
I once shot an episode of Brazzos in Hempstead.
那集也在波斯尼亚拍了一次
It doubled for Bosnia.
我曾经在南锡托基特得过梅毒
I once got syphilis in South Setauket.
我在马萨皮夸得过阴虱
And I got crabs in Massapequa.
我在阿默甘西特得过淋病
Ooh, I got the clap in Amagansett.
我在萨格港收获了下垂的睾丸
And I got saggy‐bottom balls in Sag Harbor.
♪ 她叫我下垂的睾丸 ♪
♪ Saggy Bottom Balls is what she called me ♪
♪ 嘣嘣嘣嘣 ♪
♪ Boom boom boom boom ♪
♪ 她起名字很有一套 ♪
♪ She had a way with the names ♪
♪ 嘣嘣嘣嘣 ♪
♪ Boom boom boom boom ♪
♪ 下垂的睾丸 ♪
♪ Saggy bottom balls in Sag H‐‐ ♪
出口 他们要拐出去了
Oh! Exiting! Look, they're exiting.
眼神真好
Oh, yeah. Good eye.
♪ 嘣嘣嘣嘣 她叫我下垂的睾丸 ♪
♪ Boom boom boom boom, Saggy Bottom Balls is what she called me ♪
我估计我要唱上一整天了
Okay, now I'm gonna be singing that all day.
我们的车冒烟了 -没事 别担心
We've got smoke! - Don't worry, don't worry.
赶快停这儿吧 这样他们就看不到我们了
Just pull over there so they don't see us.
我加5块钱的油 这样就行
I'll give her $5 worth of diesel, she'll be fine!
为什么不加满 -我们去哪 月亮上吗
‐ Why not fill her up? ‐ Where are we going, to the moon?
油箱很小的
It's a shallow tank.
你们可能需要打开车盖
Hey, you might wanna pop the hood.
不用了 谢谢
No thanks, we're fine.
嘿 你 你是布拉佐斯 对不对
Yo, hey! You, uh, y‐you're Brazzos! Right?
"调查由此转向全新方向"
"This sends the damn day in a brand new direction!"
"新方向" 对 那是我
"Whole new direction," but, yeah. That's me.
操 来 我们看看车怎么修
Shit! Yo, let's see what we got here, yeah?
你觉得能卖♥♥给我们点盐水吗
Hey, do you think the attendant can sell me some brine?
我需要提高车的钠含量
I need to replenish her sodium levels.
盐水 真有你的 我喜欢
Brine, man! I like that!
不管你们去哪 可千万不能开着这车走
Wherever you're going, you might not be going in this.
4块5
4.50.
我能拿一个打火机 几块电池 还有...
could I also grab a lighter, some batteries, and...
草莓润滑油
Strawberry lube!
等等 上次你有反应了
Oh wait, that gave you a reaction last time.
这个吧
Oh, this one.
我们有泡泡糖润滑油
We've got bubblegum lube.
真棒 我们要了
Perfect. We'll take that,
还有人参和西班牙绿芫菁[催情]
and some ginseng and Spanish fly.
你们都有什么尺寸的避孕套啊 他需要用细型
Oh also, what size condoms do you have? He needs slim fit,
超长的 我们可不想避孕套又掉了
extra long. We don't want it to fall off again.
不行 -好吧 我... 我准备走了
‐ It's bad. ‐ Alright, I'm... I'm gonna go.
谢谢
Thank you.
你很骄傲吗 -我说了 超长
‐ Are you proud of yourself? ‐ I said extra long.
那...
Oh wow, that...
更好了...
That makes it all better...
看看他俩 笑得多开心
Oh, look at them. Laughing.
完全不关心这个世界 而且你说的对
Not a care in the world. And you're right.
她穿的鞋的确很酷
She does wear cool boots.
她没有被绑♥架♥ -别担心
‐ She's not kidnapped. ‐ Oh, don't worry.
她也骗了我
She played me, too.
我可是有街头智慧的人
And I'm the one with the street smarts.
我堂兄皮纳特能帮你们把车拖走
Hey, my cousin Peanut can tow this for you.
拖到店里面 然后修好
Take it to a shop, he could use the work.
我可以载你们一程 我是吕西安
I can give you a lift. I'm Lucien.
你好 吕西安
Hi, Lucien.
你能帮我们跟着那两个人吗
Hey, can you help us follow those two?
当然 我一直都跟着别人
Sure. I follow people all the time.
他人真好 我喜欢他 我去把我们的东西拿过来
He's nice. I like him. I'm gonna get my stuff!
今天和仙人掌一起上路
Rolling deep with cacti today.
如果你摸了仙人掌的话
If your hand swells up after touching that thing,
就不要摸你的眼了
don't touch your eye.
我们怎么还不出发
Why aren't we moving?
等等我堂兄沃恩 他喜欢吃燕麦饼干
Waiting on my cousin Vaughn. He had a taste for some oatmeal cookies.
快点 兄弟 进来 我们有任务呢
Hurry up, man! Get in! We on a mission!
你好 -你好
‐ Hello. ‐ Hi.
我再打给你 我堂弟接了两个白人
Let me call you back. My cousin just picked up two white boys.
我才发现你开的是生态缸
I didn't realize you were driving a terrarium.
我们要跟踪谁
So, who are we following.
我们正在做一个播客节目
Well, we're doing a podcast
主要是以我们生活的公♥寓♥的谋杀案为主
based on a murder in the building we live in,
车上那个姑娘是我们的另一个主播
and the girl in the car is one of the cohosts,
但是我们现在觉得她可能跟这桩谋杀案有关
but now, we think she may have had something to do with the whole thing.
我和沃恩 我们俩也有一个播客节目
Damn! You know, Vaughn and I, we got a little podcast.
叫做院内狗狗: 你最喜欢的园艺密友
It's called Yard Dogs: Your Favorite Horticulture Homies.
真是太好了 尝试走古典内容
Good for you guys. Giving it the old college try.
太... 太可爱了
That's... that's so sweet.
对 我们有大概六万粉丝
Yeah, we got about 60,000 subscribers.
曾经是iTunes和Spotify 上的最佳新播客节目
Been featured on iTunes and Spotify as one of the best new podcasts.
就是做点自己喜欢做的事情
You know, just trying to do a little something‐something.
我们去见过辛达·坎宁了 我们跟她有合作了
We, uh, met Cinda Canning. We have an in with her.
辛辛
Cin Cin!
我们认识她
That's our girl!
对 我们也和辛达有联♥系♥
Yeah, we part of Cinda's network, man.
她最喜欢的绿色 除了纸币的绿
The only thing green she loves more than money
就是我们种植的植物的绿
is our plants!
她其实可以算是我们的第三个园艺密友
She's really the third horticulture homie.
这样啊 那真是... 挺不错的
Oh. That's, that's... uh, that's great.
这是长岛的什么地方
What part of Long Island is this?
这是贝波特
Ah, this is Bayport, baby.
我每次来这边 总能遇见烂事儿
Every time I come out here, some shit pops off.
他们在干什么 -我不知道
‐ What are they doing out here? ‐ I don't know.
可能他们准备去谋杀别的人
Maybe they're going to murder someone else.
别再说她是凶手了 她只是一个无辜的年轻女孩
Stop calling her a murderer. She's an innocent young woman.
这个姑娘...
So, this girl...
她帮你们解决凶杀案
she was helping you solve the murder,
但是现在你们觉得她也参与谋杀了吗
but now you think she's involved?
差不多吧 -操
‐ Pretty much. ‐ Damn.
虽然事情不是看起来的那样
Just because things aren't what they seem,
也不表示她是坏人啊 也许她只是还不相信你们
doesn't mean she's a bad person. Maybe she just doesn't trust y'all yet.
或者她只是个槲寄生
Or she's mistletoe.
是一种有毒的寄生虫
Which is actually a toxic parasite.
这种植物鼓励我们在圣诞节的时候相互亲吻
The very plant that encourages us to kiss at holiday time
但其实会杀掉树本身
can actually kill the tree it hangs on.
你们可能不知道 树下发生的所有浪漫举动
Little do you know, all that romance is happening
都是他们暗♥杀♥圣诞树的阴谋
under a tree assassin.
好的 现在让我们去看看为什么Tim会和我落魄的亲戚在一起
Okay. Now, let's go see why Tim was hanging out with my sketchy cousin.
我知道我们才刚到这
Yo, I know we just drove out here,
但是我们能不说这件事了吗
but can we please let this go?
我上次吃冰激凌... 已经是... 十年前了
It's been... 10 years since... I had ice cream.
跟姑娘在沙滩上
With a girl. On a beach.
不一定要吃哈根达斯
It doesn't even have to be Haagen‐Dazs.
就算是从便携冷藏箱拿出来的一根难吃的冰棒 也不错
It could be a nasty Smurf pop from a dude with a cooler.
我的确想跟你一起吃冰激凌
I do want to do that.
真的 但是... 找到凶手很重要
I do. I... But this is important.
你的生活被毁了
What happened ruined your life,
蒂姆死了
and now Tim is dead.
我只是需要找到答案
I just need some answers.
我试着继续过我的生活
I'm trying to move forward with my life.
我有了人生的目标
I got goals.
在监狱里 我开始做嘻哈瑜伽 我还拿了证书
In prison, I started trap yoga, and I got certified.
我想开个健身房♥
I want to open up a studio.