公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

Only Murders in the Building S01E04

Part 3 Sept. 9, 2021, 3:43 p.m.

Fuck off.
我们来找你一起想办法了我们的火鸡是什么
We're here to brainstorm on what our turkey should be.
我们该带什么去找斯汀
What do we bring Sting?
实际上我已经有约了
I actually have plans.
你喷古龙水了吗
Are you wearing cologne?
等下你是要去约会吗
Wait, are you going on a date?
你约到那个性感的巴松管手了
Did you ask out sexy bassoonist?
真的假的
Really?!
太棒了
This is so cool!
所以你们打算干吗我觉得需要我批准一下
What are the plans? I feel like I need to approve them.
不好意思我第一次约会的时候你都还没出生呢
Excuse me. I have been dating decades longer than you've been alive,
而且我真的是初次约会的行家
and I'm especially expert at first dates.
因为我通常也只有第一次约会
Because that's what I mostly have.
可怜的兄弟
Oh, bubbeleh.
怎么了
What's wrong?
把重担交给年轻人吧我们能忍♥受的
Give the weight to the young people. We can bear it.
我就是... 我就是觉得约会很累我会想
I just... I just find dating exhausting. I think,
该说什么不该说什么
what do you share? What do you not share?
如果合得来糟糕如果合不来也很糟糕
And if it works out, scary. If it doesn't work out, scary.
每次约会之后我就只想赶快回家
After every date, I just want to go home
把脸埋进枕头然后再也不去约会
and plant my face in a pillow and never go out again.
啊... 天 -行吧
‐ Oh... Jesus. ‐ Okay. Wow.
你需要放松好吧玩得开心点笑一笑调调情
You need to relax, okay? Just have fun. Laugh. Flirt.
现在社会调情不是很无礼吗
Isn't it insulting to flirt now?
谁知道呢
Well, who the hell knows?
突然之间夸秘书她穿休闲裤很漂亮就是冒犯了
Suddenly, it's rude to tell a secretary she looks pretty in a pair of slacks.
才不是呢我完全不认同你说的
No. To that whole sentence.
夸她的包好看
Compliment her purse.
只要不是她身上的部位你就可以说喜欢
If it isn't on their body, you can like it.
不又错了你嘴里说的每一个字都不对
No. Again, to every word that's coming out of your mouth.
听着我很高兴你迈出了这一步
Listen, I'm really glad you're doing this.
长时间的孤单可能让你变得有点奇怪
Being alone in life is making you a little weird.
谢谢你
Thank you?
见到她别流鼻血就行
Just try not to nosebleed all over her.
那可太糟糕了
That would be bad.
对了我能让我的发型师来给你做个发型吗
Okay, can I please have my hair guy come do you?
至少修一下鬓角那块有点...
Trim the ear lobes at least. They're...
所以我算是有两个童年
So, I kinda had two childhoods.
一个是结婚父母家中的幸福独生子
One where I was a happy only child with married parents,
另一个是
and a second one
父亲不在身边还有一个同母异父的妹妹
where I had an absent father and a new half‐sister,
她做什么都是对的
who somehow could do no wrong.
她偷走了我的爸爸和长笛
Who stole both my dad and the flute,
我只能选巴松管我的第二选择
leaving me the bassoon, my second choice.
所以你和巴松管其实是命中注定的
So, you and the bassoon were clearly meant to be.
任何事都是你妹妹优先吗
Is your sister first chair of anything?
我不敢相信我都告诉你了
I can't believe I told you all that.
我觉得你的肢体语言让我很舒服
I think your body language makes me feel very comfortable.
怎么说呢
Wha‐what about it?
我曾经上过一个讲非语言沟通的课
I took a class on non‐verbal communication,
课上说那些双手不交叉放在桌上的人
and people who keep their hands up uncrossed on the table,
就像你一样...
like you were...
更值得信赖
are considered more trustworthy.
没人会信任一个紧握双手的人
No one trusts a person who clasps their hands.
是啊我懂的...
Well, yeah. I get that...
手心摊开向上非常安心
Palms up. Very comforting.
当然这是最后的晚餐里的手势
Oh yeah. Well, that's, uh, the Last Supper pose.
没人比耶稣更让人安心了
No one more comforting than Jesus.
但是你肯定不会想和耶稣约会
But, you wouldn't wanna date Jesus
因为你只会一直崇拜他
because you'd just be worshiping him all the time.
所以...
So, um...
再多讲讲你的事吧
tell me more.
把自己放第二位好像就成了我人生的一个主题
The being second thing for me is kind of a theme.
上一个和我交往的人就从不把我放在第一位
So, the last guy I was dating never put me first.
我是说他不会让我先点餐
I mean, he wouldn't let me order food first.
如果我们都要上厕所他也会先去
If we both had to pee, he'd pee first.
不管什么事都是这样
I mean, whatever.
我的心理治疗师说我们在改变
My therapist says we're all driven to recreate
以治愈童年的的创伤
the dynamic of our first wound,
这样我们就能改变结局
so we can change the ending.
我真的讲了好多
That was a lot.
该你了
Your turn.
该我♥干♥什么
My turn for what?
比如说说你父母曾经是怎么伤害你的
Well, how did your parents wound you?
慢着
Oh!
告诉我你的上一段感情经历
Tell me about your last relationship.
对... 我们看看
Oh yeah... Well, let's just see here.
首先…
First, um...
我的父母很棒
My parents were great. Yeah.
我的前女友…
And my, uh, last girlfriend, uh, was...
很棒然后和平分手
perfectly nice, and, uh, ended well.
你的奶酪怎么样
How's your cheese?
你喜欢奶酪吗
You like the cheese?
你知道吗我爱…
Oh, you know what? I love...
你那个包很特别
that purse. It is so unusual.
分享故事是一种交易
You know, the sharing of stories is kind of transactional.
当有人给你讲故事的时候
When someone gives you a story,
你需要分享一个同样甚至更加重要的故事作为回报
you owe them one of equal or greater value in return.
轮到我像你展示我的创伤了吗
Oh, so it's my turn to tell you my red flags?
但我没有什么大秘密或者类似的东西
Uh, but I'm not keeping any big secret or anything like that.
不是每个人都有一大堆包袱
It's just not everyone has a ton of baggage.
不是说你的包袱比别人多
Not that you have, uh, any more baggage than anyone else!
你只是有正正好好多的包袱...
You have the exact right amount of baggage...
怎么样要加点酒吗 -不用了
‐ How we doing? Another round? ‐ I think I'm good.
有时候第二次机会
Sometimes, a second chance
只是又一次犯错的机会
is just another chance to get it wrong.
搞砸两次
And blowing it twice
会让你做出一些奇怪的选择
can cause you to make some weird choices.
我们准备带火鸡 -什么
‐ We're just going with the turkey. ‐ What?
抱歉把你吵醒了火鸡要烤两个小时
Sorry to wake you. The bird's two hours in,
我的烤箱坏了所以我需要你的
and my oven conked out, so I'm gonna need yours.
即使是杀手也不该被肉毒杆菌毒死
'Cause even a killer does not deserve botulism.
老天我忘了你的重要约会
Oh my God. I forgot your big date.
她在里面吗
Is‐is she in there?
不在我一个人
No, no. I'm alone.
啊抱歉
Oh. Mm, sorry.
你想让我离开吗 -不我想破案
Do you want me to leave? ‐ No! I want to solve this murder,
跟我说说 -好的斯汀…
so catch me up. ‐ Alright. Sting...
正准备跑了
is on the run.
我听厄苏拉说
I heard from Ursula
他的雨林之旅提前了
he has moved his Rainforest Tour up,
两天后就要走了
and is leaving in two days.
可疑吗
Suspicious?
而且他离开的时候还在装♥修♥他的公♥寓♥
Also, he's renovating his apartment when he's gone
因为很显然他想要一个"新的开始"
because, apparently, he wants a "fresh start."
我打赌他是这样想的对吧
I bet he does, right?
梅布尔下午有安排
Anyway, Mabel has plans in the afternoon,
所以明天早上才能去
so that only leaves tomorrow morning.
而且烤快1斤肉要20分钟…
And, you know, at 20 minutes a pound...
我们早上要给斯汀带只火鸡吗
So, we're gonna bring Sting a morning turkey?
是的我知道很奇怪
Ye‐‐ I know, it's weird,
但我想如果我们也带咖啡…
but I figure if we also brought coffee...
听着
Yeah, listen.
我知道这很疯狂... -不不不
I know this is nuts... ‐ No, no, no.
这样做才有用因为意想不到
That's exactly why it'll work. Because it's surprising.
送火鸡的人才不会有什么坏心思
No one ever brings anyone a turkey with bad intentions!
确实
Exactly!
我很惊讶我没想到你会同意
I am amazed. I didn't think you'd be onboard with this.
我很乐意这样做
I'm so onboard with this.
因为我打算
Because this is how I'm gonna fill
我接下来就要用我的爱好