疯子

Maniac S01E01

Part 3 June 3, 2020, 4 p.m.

Repeat after me.
没有模式
There is no pattern.
没有模式
There is no pattern.
吾身脆弱但非愚昧
I am vulnerable, but I am not stupid.
吾身脆弱但非愚昧
I'm vulnerable, but I'm not stupid.
我将探寻生命中关爱我的人们
But I will seek out the people in my life that care about me.
我将探寻生命中关爱我的人们
I will seek out the people in my life who care about me.
我非天选之子
I am not the chosen one.
我非天选之子
I am not the chosen one.
众声皆幻
The voices aren't real.
- 众声皆幻 - 众声皆幻
- The voices aren't real. - The voices aren't real.
声音繁多均为噪音
The voices are just noise.
声音繁多均为噪音
The voices are just noise.
声音繁多均为噪音
The voices are just noise.
我不过是个善于想象的人
I am just a guy with a vivid imagination.
我不过是个善于想象的人
I'm just a guy with a vivid imagination.
我不可能成为拯救我们这个星系的救世主
I will most likely not be the savior of our galaxy.
你好
Hello?
我这里有件包裹
I've got a package
是寄给欧文·米尔格里姆的寄件者是
from Neberdine Pharmaceutical Biotech
内伯叮制药生物科技
for an Owen Milgrim.
什么意思
What?
我这儿... 有个... 寄给你的包裹
I've... A package... your name.
有人吗
Hello?
你好欧文你收到我寄给你的东西了吗
Hi, Owen. Did you get what I sent you?
你是怎么做到...
How did you...
我刚收到通知
I've just been informed
你已具有成为英雄候选人的资格
that you qualify as a hero candidate.
这话是什么意思
What does that mean?
这是我们的行话
It's a term we use
用来形容那些在精挑细选后
for those who've been
成为我们众多研究对象之一的人
specifically selected for one of our studies.
对我们而言你是个不可多得的人才欧文
You're a very desirable individual to us, Owen.
我从没见过像你这样的B.N.比例
I've never seen B.N. Over-ratios like this before.
当一名英雄候选人需要做什么
What does a hero candidate do?
施展他们与生俱来的能力
Exactly the things they were born to.
而你的话就是帮我们治疗疾病
In your case, helping us treat
疾病的范围包括拖延症抑郁症
maladies ranging from sluggishness and depression
甚至肠易激综合征爆米花问题
to I.B.S, to popcorn problems
以及超乎常理的恐惧感
and irrational fears.
你是说爆米花难题吗
"Popcorn problems"?
我说的是前列腺问题
Prostate problems, yes.
我还以为你是说...
Oh, I thought you...
等你来了之后我们会告诉你所有的细节
We'll give you all the details when you come in.
那我们就说定了周一不见不散
So, we'll see you on Monday?
晚安米尔格里姆先生
Good evening, Mr. Milgrim.
所有人都在内庭里听音乐会
Everyone is on the patio for the recital.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
如果她要在这过夜那她睡在哪儿
Where does she sleep when she stays over?
这个吗
This one?
她是你的姐姐对吗
Yeah, she's your sister, right?
或者说她是一名秘密特工吗
Or is she a secret agent?
你怎么知道的
How did you know?
因为我有一家等级超高的秘密机构
Because I have super-secret sources
掌握着一些非常机密的信息
at a super-secret agency.
别告诉任何人哦
Don't tell anyone.
好的呢
Okay.
宵夜好了
Supper's ready.
好的妈妈
Okay, Mom.
我那时真的是完全不知所措
I was completely baffled.
我动身前往学校后
You know, I left for school.
当时厄尼没出问题然后你知道吗
Ernie was fine, and then, you know,
食物也还在碗里
the food was in the bowl.
还有喝的水笼子也都上了锁
The water was there, cage was locked up,
可当篮球训练结束我回到了家后
and I get back from basketball practice,
它就消失的无影无踪了...
and he's just gone, absolutely...
这只沙鼠简直是同类里最高明的越狱家
The great gerbil escape artist.
但问题是它尼玛并没完全消失
But he wasn't exactly fucking gone.
注意你的言辞菲尔
Language, Phil.
不他没说错它还真♥他♥妈♥没完全消失
No, that's correct. He wasn't exactly fucking gone like that.
注意你的言辞杰德
Language, Jed.
欧文它去哪了
Where'd he go, O?
或许你不该在孩子们的面前说这种话
Maybe you shouldn't curse so much in front of the children.
拜托说一下又能怎样
Ah, come on. Tell the rest.
我们又不是在农场上
This is not a farmyard, boys.
所以我问了所有人
So, um, I ask everyone, right?
大家都在房♥子里望来望去紧张到手忙脚乱的
Everyone's looking around the whole house, everyone frantic,
结果最后欧文站了出来
and finally Owen, you know, eventually comes up
带我去了他的房♥间...
and brings me to his room...
你那时候才多大欧文好像是八岁吧
How old were you then, Owen? Like, eight or somethin'?
- 九岁 - 八岁九岁都无所谓啦
- Nine. - Eight or nine, whatever.
然后他说... 他说
And he says... he says,
"呃我得告诉你件事
"Uh, I have to tell you somethin'.
我... 我的小鹰吃掉了厄尼"
My... my hawk ate Ernie."
"什么" 然后他指向那边
"What?" And he points over there,
一只巨他妈大的红尾鹰
and there's this big fuckin' red-tailed hawk
就站在他的桌子上盯着我
sitting on his desk staring at me.
哪家的八岁小孩会他妈养只鹰啊
What eight-year-old has a fuckin' hawk?
你怎么得到这只鹰的呢
Uh, how did you have a hawk?
呃我是从公园里救回了它
Um, I rescued it from the park.
我找到它时它的翅膀
I found it with a broken
受伤了于是我就把它带回我的房♥间喂养它
wing and brought it to my room and fed it.
- 对我都忘了 - 你还给它喂食
- Yeah, I forgot. - You'd feed him.
那才是最扯淡的他还要喂它
That was the craziest part. He would feed it,
就像一只雌鸟... 你懂吗...
likec a mother bird, you know...
咀嚼吗... 不不不是他先把食物嚼碎了
Oh, masticate... No, no, no. Premasticate.
没错是先嚼碎了
Yeah, premastication!
杰德是个超级烂的碎肉器
Jed was a chronic masticator.
- 你怎么知道 - 因为他情愿瞎了都不做
- How'd you know? - He'd go blind doing that.
你养了那只鸟多久欧文
How long did you take care of the bird for, Owen?
两三个月吧直到它能够飞到杰德房♥间里
Two or three months, until it was strong enough
吃掉他的那只小沙鼠大概就这么久吧
to go into Jed's room and eat his gerbil, I guess.
那那只鹰后来怎样了
But what happened to the hawk?
我们把它放生了
We set it free.
好吧
Oh. Okay.
这倒让我想起另一件事
That reminds me.
还记得那次科尔比掉进郭瓦纳斯运河吗
Remember when Colby fell in the Gowanus Canal?
- 还记得那天吗 - 可怜的科尔比
- Remember that day? - Oh, poor Colby.
我给它丢了根棍子它还不愿接...
I threw the stick, he didn't go for it...
绝对留下了心理阴影
So traumatizing.
我和杰德说如果他不把你画上去
I told Jed I wouldn't marry him
我就不会嫁给他
until they painted you in.
可能这就是我们还没有定好日子的原因吧
Maybe that's why we haven't set a date yet.
他们会画上我的
They're gonna paint me in.
只是那个画家去尼泊尔度假了休六个月呢
The artist just took a six-month sabbatical to Nepal,
去学习光影
to study the light.
我失业了
I lost my job.
我感到很抱歉欧文
I'm sorry, Owen.
没事的我会再找新工作
It's okay, I'll find a new one.
其实我正在考虑成为
I'm actually thinking about becoming
短期的志愿者丈夫
a temporary volunteer husband.
你在开玩笑吧
You're not serious.
不用再租♥房♥♥子每日流连在各种寡妇之间
Get rid of my lease, bounce from widow to widow.
想得美
Mm-mm.
你有没有发现
Do you ever notice that
每次你为了重新来过所制定的计划...
your plans always involve starting over...
都是从换一个完全不同的身份开始
often with an entirely new identity?
因为想想还挺美滋滋
It's a good fantasy.
各位来火炉这边吃甜点了
Pudding's upstairs by the fireplace, everyone.
还得熬过饭后闲谈