爱你，维克托

这学校的人就喜欢看戏
This school is desperate for drama.
大家还在谈论那次
People are, are still talking about the time, um,
有只鸽子飞进了食堂 吃了个鸡块的事
a pigeon flew into the cafeteria, and ate a chicken nugget.
#食同类的鸽子
Hashtag "Cannibal pigeon."
永远别忘了
Never forget.
嗨 你们好 我是维克托最好的朋友
Hi. Hello. Victor's best friend here.
早上安好 姑娘
Top of the mornin' to ya, lassies.
-好吧 -虽然已经下午1点了 但...
- Okay. - It's actually 1:00 p. M., but, uh,
维克托 米娅有没有告诉你
Victor, did Mia tell you
她今晚要办个小聚会
she's hosting a little get-together tonight?
为了庆祝什么啊
What's the occasion?
就是一座豪♥宅♥ 没有任何家长在而已
The occasion is a free mansion with zero adult supervi-sh.
9点开始
Starts at nine.
并且 这是场红绿灯派对 所以着装要符合才行
Also, it's a stoplight party, so dress accordingly.
等等 什么
Wait, what?
老兄 我一直想参加一次红绿灯派对
Dude, I always want to go to a stoplight party.
或者任何派对都行
Or really, any party.
那个 红绿灯派对是什么
Um, what's a stoplight party?
每个人穿一种颜色的衣服来显示自己的感情状态
Everyone wears a color to show their relationship status.
如果穿绿色的 代表你单身 可撩
If you wear green, it means you're single, ready to mingle.
红色表示你有对象
Red means you're in a relationship,
黄色表示你对派对上的某个人感兴趣
and yellow means you're into someone at the party.
得州没有这种派对吗
You guys didn't have this in Texas?
我们有教堂烧烤活动
We had church barbecues.
如果你穿的连衣裙长不过膝盖
If you wear a sundress that's above the knee,
那意味着你会下地狱
it means you go to Hell.
维克托 你必须穿黄色的以显示你对米娅的爱意
Victor, you have to wear yellow to declare your feelings for Mia.
我是说 你喜欢她 对吧 你怎会不喜欢呢
I mean, you like her, right? Why wouldn't you?
你为什么要说是红绿灯派对啊
Why did you say it's a stoplight party?
因为 人们在主题派对上勾搭得更快
Because. People hook up faster at themed parties.
你没看过《大开眼戒》吗
Haven't you seen Eyes Wide Shut?
-还好吗 书呆子们 -安德鲁 你好啊
- What's up, nerds? - Andrew. Hey.
-你剪头发了吗 -我没有
- Did you get a haircut? - I did not.
好极了 那个
Right on. Uh, well,
我们今晚要在米娅家办个红绿灯派对
we're having a stoplight party at Mia's tonight.
是吗 说起来也好笑
Really. You know, it's funny.
我还以为你会忙着
I would have thought you'd be too busy
在嘉年华上对男人"做慈善"呢
taking random charity cases on carnival rides.
再见 安德鲁
Bye, Andrew.
知道吗 又转过来一个患有脊椎侧弯的新生
Oh, you know what? There's a freshman with scoliosis.
你可以带他去坐旋转茶杯
You could take him on the spinning tea cups.
真不敢相信你喜欢他 他真是个混♥蛋♥
I can't believe you like him. He's such a jerk.
我知道 他太刻薄了
I know. He's so mean.
打扰了
Excuse me?
你好啊 有什么事
Oh, hey, man. What's up?
我叫本吉 学校里的那个
It's Benji. From school?
我想面试咖啡师的工作
I, I just wanted to interview for the barista job.
但是 没事...
But it, it's cool--
算你走运 我是副经理
Lucky for you, I'm the assistant manager.
到柜台后面来吧 我们谈谈
Come on back. Let's talk.
维克托 你有做咖啡的经验吗
So, Victor, you have any experience making coffee?
我有喝咖啡的经验
Um, I have experience drinking coffee.
其实也不是什么高深的事
Well, it's not rocket science.
只要你会做浓缩咖啡
You know, once you can pull a shot of espresso,
几乎就可以做出各种咖啡了
you can basically make any drink.
来 瞧好了
Here. Watch.
首先 你拿着过滤器 装满研磨好的咖啡粉
First, you take the portafilter, and fill it with grounds.
然后把它压得非常紧实
And then pack it real tight.
看到它有多紧了吗
See how tight that is?
在萃取咖啡时 打发一下牛奶
And while that brews, we steam the milk.
你来试试 给
Now you try. Here.
这样就对了
There you go.
你真是个天生好手
You're a natural.
-真的很抱歉 -没事的
- I am so sorry. - It's fine.
算了 这是个糟糕的主意
You know what? This, this was a bad idea.
很抱歉 我浪费你的时间了
I'm, I'm sorry to waste your time.
你穿了黄色的衣服
You wore yellow!
是啊 没错
Yeah, I did.
就像你说的 我为什么不♥穿♥呢
And like you said, why wouldn't I?
那我呢
What about me?
我想将我对蕾可的喜欢表现得超级明显
I want to make it super clear that I'm into Lake.
行吧 我觉得挺明显的
Yeah. I think it's clear.
你们两个看着就像两个准备被掰开的香蕉
You two look like a couple of bananas getting ready to split.
我们是为一个派对特意打扮的
We're dressed like this for a party.
你没跟我说过派对的事啊 谁办的派对
Uh, you didn't tell me anything about a party. Whose party?
有个叫米娅的女孩 她喜欢维克托
This girl, Mia. She likes Victor.
好吧 那个女孩是谁啊 可爱吗
All right! Who is this girl? Is she cute?
-爸 别搞得很古怪 -她美极了
- Dad, don't be weird. - Oh, she's gorgeous.
就像是我妈的年轻版
Kind of like a young my mom.
好吧 小子 你去参加派对
All right, macho. Well, uh, you go to your party,
跟那个叫米娅的女孩玩得开心 好吗
and, uh, show this Mia girl a good time, okay?
-好的 -那行吧
- Okay. - Right.
你好啊 宝贝 今天过得怎么样
Hola, mi nena. How was your day?
"好得很 爸爸 谢谢关心"
"Great, Papi. Thanks for asking."
快点啊 大家都到了
Come on, people are here!
你为什么没穿黄色的衣服
Why aren't you wearing yellow?
我只是...我觉得
Oh. I just... I thought
如果我和维克托之间真的有感觉
if there is something between me and Victor,
那我希望能够自然一点 你明白吗
I'd want it to be natural, you know?
而非被什么古怪的派对游戏强迫交往
Not forced by some weird party game.
等等 你怎么穿了红色的 你明明是单身啊
Wait, why are you wearing red? You're single.
因为 没什么比名花已有主更性感了
Because. There's nothing hotter than being unavailable,
所以 等安德鲁看到我穿这个颜色的衣服
so, when Andrew sees me wearing this,
他会认为我已经有对象了 就会想跟我发展下
he'll think I'm dating someone, and want to get with me.
-但你没有对象啊 -我当然有
- But you're not dating anyone. - Sure, I am.
他叫布鲁诺 是佐治亚理工学院的大一新生
His name is Bruno. He's a freshman at Georgia Tech.
来 瞧瞧我们在一起多性感火♥辣♥
Here. Look how hot we look together, hmm?
那绝对是你表哥罗伯特
That is one-hundred percent your cousin Robert.
等等 蕾可 那照片是在你外婆的葬礼上拍的
Wait. Lake, that picture's from your nana's funeral!
随便吧 我外婆也会希望我跟安德鲁坠入爱河的
Whatever. Nana would have wanted me to find love with Andrew.
继续说你的事 你想知道我的想法吗
Back to you. Want to know what I think?
不太想
Not really.
你人生第一次喜欢一个男孩
You like a boy for the first time in forever,
但你却不敢放开自我去争取
and you're scared to put yourself out there.
有时候为了获得幸福 你得先让自己脆弱才行
Sometimes in order to be happy, you need to be vulnerable.
穿黄色的衣服吧 好吗
So just yellow up. Oh-kurr?
哟 高空小子 还好吗
Yo, mile-high, what's up?
嘿 兄弟 还好吗
Hey, bro, how ya doin'?
-还好吗 兄弟 -你好
- What's up, man? - How ya doin'?
安德鲁
Andrew.
你能穿绿色的衣服真是太幸运了
You are so lucky you get to wear green.
我不得不♥穿♥红色的
I just had to wear red.
因为我有男朋友了 他叫布鲁诺
'Cause of my boyfriend. Bruno.
他在读大学 拿到了曲棍球奖学金
He's in college. Yeah. Uh, lacrosse scholarship.
萨拉扎 到这后面来吧
Salazar. Why don't you come on back?
队里的其他兄弟们都在这呢
The rest of the crew's out here.
抱歉 仅限篮球队的人
Sorry, it's a team thing.
你介意吗 我马上就回来
Do you mind? Uh, I'll be right back.
没事 我 我会没事的
Sure. Yeah. I'll be, I'll be fine.
你和这个叫布鲁诺的是在认真交往吗
So, uh, this Bruno guy. Is it, uh, is it, is it serious?
你不是真的和那个废柴是朋友吧
So, you're not actually friends with that loser, are you?
不不 我们只是邻居
Uh, no, no. We're just neighbors.
-维克 你看到米娅了吗 -怎么 她在找我吗
- Hey, Vic, you seen Mia yet? - Why, is she looking for me?
听着 我知道你喜欢她
Look, man, I know that you like her.
你 你不能穿那件T恤
You just-You can't wear that shirt.
-不能 -就是...
- I can't? - Well, it's just so...
显得很绝望 除非你想给人一种饥渴的感觉
...desperate. Unless you want to come off thirsty.
-这是你想达到的效果吗 -不是
- Is that what you're going for? - No.
来 把这个穿上
Here. Why don't you take this?
不管怎样 我得行使我的《宪法第二修正案》权利
I have to exercise my second amendment, anyhow.