爱你，维克托

亲爱的西蒙 自从我们得知
Dear Simon, things have been pretty tense at home
我们搬离得州的真正原因 家里的气氛就很紧张
since we learned the real reason we left Texas.
-休想 -你这次又是为什么事发疯
- No way. - What are you freaking out about this time?
这不是短裤 简直可以说是牛仔内♥裤♥
Those aren't shorts. They're denim underpants.
出轨的人没资格抨击别人
People who have affairs shouldn't be throwing stones.
你看着就像麦当娜在《宛如祈祷者》MV里的样子
You look like Madonna in the "Like a Prayer" video.
哇 这话可真伤我的感情
Wow. That would really hurt my feelings
前提是我明白你打的这个老掉牙的比方
if I actually understood your references.
幸运的是 我们家有我
Luckily, my family has me.
从我记事以来 我就是我们家的矛盾调停者
For as long as I can remember, I've been my family's fixer.
没有我解决不了的家庭问题
There's no problem I can't smooth over
我只需要在恰当的时机开个玩笑 讲些趣闻
with a well-timed joke, a charming anecdote,
当这些都不管用时 献上碳水化合物
or, when all else fails... carbs.
谁想吃煎饼啊
Who wants pancakes?
我倒是可以吃点煎饼
I could go for pancakes.
我想吃香蕉
Banana for me.
所以维克托就可以用炉子吗
Oh, so Victor's allowed to use the stove?
-别说话了 吃煎饼 -好香啊 宝贝儿子
- Shh. Eat your pancakes. - These smell so good, mijo.
谢谢你
Thank you.
不客气
You're welcome.
你决定好
Have you decided
这周六你过生日要做什么了吗
what you want to do for your birthday this Saturday?
我想着我们可以给你办个派对
I thought we could throw you a party,
把你的朋友们都邀请过来
invite your friends over...
不用了 这么仓促
That's okay. It's such short notice.
我觉得大家都已经有安排了
I'm sure everyone has plans, you know?
好吧
Okay.
我只是觉得家里需要一点庆祝活动
I just thought we could all use a celebration around here.
好的 马上就能见面了 妈妈 再见
Yeah, all right. See you soon, Mami. Bye.
马上就能见面 为什么你马上就能见到她
See you soon? Why are you gonna see her soon?
我父母想趁着这周末维克托过生日来探望我们
Oh, my parents wanna visit for Victor's birthday this weekend.
太好了 终于啊 奶奶要来了
Yes! Finally! Abuelita in the house!
不是吧 阿曼多
Seriously, Armando?
皮拉现在对我很恶劣 现在除了这个
Pilar is being horrible to me, and now on top of that,
-你妈也要过来仇恨我 -是的
- I'm gonna have your mom here hating me? - Yes!
-我都没办法... -到底有什么问题
- I can't even- - What's the problem?
-你知道问题是什么 -我们办派对吧
- You know what the problem is! - Let's throw the party.
-真的吗 -是啊 会很好玩的 我是说...
- Really? - Yeah, yeah. It'll be fun. I mean,
你们可以认识下我的朋友们
you guys can meet my friends,
娜缇奶奶和迪托爷爷可以跟我们一起庆祝
and Abuela Nati and Tito can celebrate with us.
在新家举办的第一场派对
Our first party in our new home. Hmm?
我好激动啊
I'm so excited.
好吧 派对时间
Okay! Party time!
或许一些有趣的 令人分心的事
Maybe something fun and distracting
正是让我们这个家恢复温馨的良方
was exactly what we needed to get our family groove back.
我们就这么办
That is what we're gonna do.
我对于办派对和认识你的朋友们感到很激动
I'm just excited about having a party and meeting your friends.
他们人好吗 我敢说一定很好
Are they nice? I bet you they are.
好了 宝贝们...
Okay, piñatas...
爱你，维克托
第一季 第五集
当然啦 我们当然会去的
Yeah, of course. Of course we'll be there, right?
那得看情况 还有谁会去
Uh, depends. Who else will be there?
有嫩模 网红 卡戴珊姐妹吗
An Insta-models? Influencers? Kardashians?
没有 就你们 我的家人和我的爷爷奶奶
No. Just you guys, my family, and my grandparents.
原来你是说真的啊
Oh, you're serious.
维克托的家人都超好
Victor's family is a delight.
我喜欢将自己想象成萨拉扎家的第三个孩子
I like to think of myself as the third Salazar kid.
艾德里安才是萨拉扎家的第三个孩子
Adrian's the third Salazar kid.
艾德里安
Adrian.
这意味我要见到你的家长了吗
Um, this means I'm gonna meet your parents?
是啊 可以吗
Yeah. Is that cool?
-当然 -棒极了
- Yeah. - That's awesome.
好了 你们能别再微笑着凝视彼此了吗
Okay, can you guys stop gently smiling at each other?
我们有些正经事要讨论呢
We have some serious business to discuss.
如果没有更多的人 维克托的派对注定会烂
Victor's party is going to blow without some more bodies.
-你好啊 本吉 -你好
- Uh, hey, Benji. - Hey.
维克托这周六要举办生日派对
Victor is having a birthday on Saturday,
性感人士和老年人士的比率很惨
and his ratio of hot people to old people is totally tragic.
想去参加吗
Wanna come?
前提是你真的想去 别觉得有压力必须去
I mean, only if you want to. There's, there's no pressure.
好啊 我去 我把德里克也带去
Sure, I'm in. I'll bring Derek.
如果没问题的话
I mean, if that's cool.
没问题 我爱德里克
Yeah. I love Derek.
好极了 我们会到场的
Great. We'll be there.
好了 我的休息时间结束了
Hey, guys, my break's over.
好的 再见
Okay. Bye.
亲爱的西蒙
Dear Simon...
即将有一对出柜的骄傲同志去我家
there's going to be an actual out-and-proud gay couple at my house.
希望我的爷爷...
Here's hoping my grandfather's gotten more...
自我们离开得州后 思想开明了些
open-minded, since we left Texas.
你怎么在玩仙女棒
Why are you playing with a fairy wand?
这是我的艾莎棒 是《冰雪奇缘》里的
It's my Elsa wand, from Frozen.
它可以把任何东西变成冰
It turns things into ice.
变成冰吧 沙发
Be ice, couch!
你变成冰了
You're ice.
-你也... -你竟然让他玩女孩的玩具吗
- You're ice... - Do you let him play with girls' toys?
什么 不是 那是皮拉当年玩的
What? Oh, no. Uh, that's actually a, a hand-me-down from Pilar.
他一般用来玩击剑
He usually uses it to, um, to sword fight.
真的 他是个十足的男孩
Yeah, he's a very macho boy.
-挠挠我的背 告诉我我是帅小子 -好的
- Tickle my back and tell me I'm guapo. - Okay.
每一天我都希望你们的妈妈
Every day I wish your mother
没有无缘无故地带着你们搬到这么远的地方来
hadn't moved you across the country for no reason at all.
实际上 我们搬离得州
Actually, there is a really good reason
是有非常合理的理由的
why we moved from Texas.
理由就是 爸爸找到一份很棒的新工作
Which is that Papi got a great new job,
还找到了这么赞的房♥子
and hooked us up with this sick apartment.
是啊 这房♥子看着确实很赞
Yes, it does look a little sick.
-你好 娜塔莉亚 -你好
- Hola, Natalia. - Hola.
-迪托 你还好吗 -你好 孩子
- Tito, ¿cómo estás? - Hola, mija.
对了 维克托
Oyeme, Victor.
你想让我为你的生日做些什么食物啊
What would you like me to make you for your birthday?
甜甜圈 还是脆皮番石榴酥
Buñuelos, or Pasteles de Gloria?
实际上 我要给他做三奶蛋糕
Actually, I'm gonna be making a tres leches cake,
就跟你做的一样
just like yours.
那我们等着瞧吧
We'll see about that.
我还以为你之前打电♥话♥时说的是在开玩笑
I thought you were joking on the phone.
她真的开始烘焙了吗
Is she really baking?
奶奶 我爸跟你说了吗
Abuela, did Papi tell you?
我的新朋友们也要来参加派对
My new friends are coming to the party.
是哦 没错
Oh, yeah. That's right.
我们都将见到
We're all gonna get to meet
维克托在交往的那个神秘女孩了
the mystery girl that Victor's been dating.
维克托终于有女朋友了啊
Oh, so Victor finally has a novia, huh?
是啊
Si.
至少你们兄弟俩有一个会给我生下曾孙
At least one of your boys is gonna give me some great-grandchildren.
冰雪力量 冰 冰 冰
Ice power! Ice! Ice! Ice!
变成冰吧 沙发
Be ice, couch!
眼线画得太浓了
It's too much eyeliner.
我希望我的妆容表达的内涵是
Okay, I need makeup that says,
"嗨 萨拉扎先生和夫人
"Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Salazar.
我是米娅 是适合与令郎交往的自尊自爱的好女孩"
I'm Mia, a perfectly respectable girl for your son to date."
这个妆容就表达出来了啊
This totally says that,
同时也暗示 你有着狂野的一面
while also hinting that you have a wild side.
如果他们真的爱自己的儿子
If they really love their son,
就会希望他能享受到这种狂野
they'll want that for him.
你为什么对这事压力这么大啊
Why are you so stressed about this?
我猜是因为...
I guess...
维克托的家人就像是他的全世界
Victor's family is like, his whole world,
他现在正成为我的世界的重要组成部分
and he's becoming a big part of my world,
所以 我需要他们喜欢我
so I just need them to like me.