老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S01E19

Part 4 Aug. 2, 2021, 11:13 p.m.

but sadly,for you,it's just a new middle.
哦我的天我用了她的唇膏 ! 噢!
Oh,my God,I used her lipstick! Ah!
那是她的餐巾
That's her napkin.
不!
No!
好，嗯，我想现在是最好的时机了
Okay,well,I guess now is as good a time as any.
为了保持今晚的颁奖主题
In keeping with tonight's award show motif,
我想宣布本晚最曲折的结局!
I'd like to announce this evening's big twist ending!
吸血鬼Lou,有幸请你宣布吗?
Vampire Lou,would you do the honors?
"Mary不是真妓♥女♥"
"Mary's not really a prostitute."
什么?
What?
就这样吸血鬼Lou. 干得好
That's all,Vampire Lou. Nicely done.
- 那么她不是...?
- 对
- So she's not...?
- No.
Mary只是住在我那幢楼里的一个助理律师
Mary's just a paralegal who lives in my building.
哦-- 哈-哈!而且最有趣的是--
Oh-- ha-ha! And here's the best part--
她不知道Ted以为她是妓♥女♥
she has no idea that Ted thinks she's a hooker.
哦拜托
Oh,come on.
如果你们不笑就好像太吝啬了
If you don't laugh,it just seems mean.
我觉得自己是里查·基尔
I feel kind of like Richard Gere.
- 不是对自己的样子害羞，对吗?
- 对
- Not shy about your looks,are you?
- No.
你知道吗，Mary，我从来没这么做过
You know,Mary,I've never done this before.
做什么?
Done what?
你知道，“约会”
You know,been... on a "date."
是的，对
Yeah,right.
等等，你是在开玩笑，对吗
Wait,you're kidding,right?
不
No.
怎么这很奇怪吗?
Why,is that so odd?
嗯，Ted，我的意思是，我15岁就开始和人约会了
Well,Ted,I mean,I've been going on dates since I was 15.
天你那时候还是个孩子啊
God,you were just a kid.
嗯，瞧，我们先喝点酒这样我们就能放松
Well,look,let's just have a few drinks. We'll relax and...
好听起来不错我的客户整天骑在我身上
Yeah,that sounds great. I had clients riding me all day long.
一定很难
Must be tough.
对，我是说我有个客户就是不能放过我
Yeah. I mean,this one guy just wouldn't leave me alone.
我的意思是，和我讨论肛♥门♥
I mean,talk about anal.
嗯，我们到了
Well,here we are.
好吧 Mary 我很喜欢你
Okay,look,Mary,I like you a lot.
我这么喜欢你都让我有点吃惊了，但我不能这么做
I'm sort of amazed at how much I like you,but I can't do this.
你是个妓♥女♥
You're a hooker.
什么?
What?
瞧，也许我太老土但是对不起这是违背我的原则的
Look,maybe I'm old-fashioned,but I'm sorry,that's a deal-breaker for me.
我不会和妓♥女♥上♥床♥
I'm not going to have sex with a prostitute.
不... Ted 我是个助理律师
No... Ted,I'm a paralegal.
拜托Mary,这里也没有别人
Come on,Mary,there's no one else around.
你是个妓♥女♥
You're a hooker.
不 Ted ...
No,Ted...
我是个助理律师
I'm a paralegal.
不你是个妓♥女♥
No,you're a hooker.
不我是个助理律师
No,I'm a paralegal.
你是个助理律师
You're a paralegal.
这不好笑
That was not funny.
不好笑伙计
Not funny,dude.
我知道，这是场闹剧
I know,it was hilarious.
你为什么这么做?
Why would you do that?
我想证实一点
I did it to prove a point.
证实什么?
What point?
别走开，我就想到了
Stay with me. It's going to come to me.
哦好我要证实的是
Ah,okay,here's the point.
你确定了Mary的身份对吗?
You thought that Mary was a sure thing,right?
然后发生了什么? 第一次约会她就带你去了酒店房♥间
So what happened? She took you up to a hotel room on the first date.
你要做的就是对每个女人都这样
All you have to do is be that confident with every girl you meet
你的阳痿就解决了
and your slump is over.
你要传达的讯息就是我要像对待妓♥女♥一样对待每个女人?
So the message is,I should treat every woman like a whore?
拜托伙计你不应该感谢我吗
Come on,dude,you should be thanking me.
她打了我一个耳光，怒气冲冲的走了
She slapped me and stormed off.
你能怪她吗? 你叫人家妓♥女♥
Can you blame her? You called her a hooker.
对不起伙计这挺好笑
I'm sorry,dude,it was funny.
对嗯已经晚了我要回我的房♥间了
Yeah. Well,it's getting late. I should get back to my room.
你的房♥间?
Your room?
对那间非常贵的酒店房♥间是你用信♥用♥卡♥付款的--
Yeah,that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card--
还没退房♥
never checked out.
顺便说下你知道什么超级有趣吗?
By the way,you know what's super fun?
我要把Dom Perignon倒进下水道(Dom Perignon是一种昂贵的法国香槟)
Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain.
嗯快三点了我要按♥摩♥一下
Well,it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles.
拜托如果你不笑，那你好像太吝啬了
Come on,if you don't laugh,it just seems mean.