老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S01E17
Part 3
Aug. 2, 2021, 11:13 p.m.
and they're all, "Yo, Eriksen, let's roll to the strip clubs."
然后我说, "说干就干!"
So I'm, like, "Snapadoo!"
所以我们找到了机场附近的黄窝...
So we find this choice nudie nest near the airport...
...就在这时保镖把我们赶出来了
...and that is when the bouncer kicked us out.
现在我也不知道Svetlana拿到绿卡没
但伙计们, 假钻戒?
Now, I have no idea if Svetlana ever got her green card,
but dudes, fake diamond ring?
绝对物超所值, 兄弟
Worth every penny, bruh.
Eriksen...
Eriksen...
...绝对是牛肉酱!
...that was steak sauce!
好故事
Great story.
第二天早晨我订去德国的机票时收到一封邮件
The next moning, I was about to buy my ticket to Germany when I got an e-mail.
啊哦
Uh-oh.
"嘿, Ted, 抱歉昨晚错过了你的电♥话♥
"Hey, Ted, sorry I missed your call last night.
异地恋真糟糕, 是不?
This long-distance thing sucks, huh?
听着, 我考虑了下，我今晚需要和你谈谈
Listen, I've been thinking and I really need to talk to you tonight.
我晚上十一点打给你 Victoria"
I'll call you at 11:00. Victoria."
所以?
So?
所以她要甩了我
So she's going to dump me.
有人会在说过, "听着, 我考虑了下"
Has anyone ever said, "Listen, I've been thinking,"
然后接着说的是好消息吗?
and then follow it up with something good?
不是像: 听着, 我考虑了下果仁奶油饼干是评价较低的饼干
It's not like: Listen, I've been thinking, Nutter-Butters are an underrated cookie.
还能是什么呢?
What else can it be?
有什么她不能在邮件里说而要打电♥话♥的?
What could she possibly have to say to me that she couldn't write in an e-mail?
我手指被切掉了?
I cut off all my fingers?
Ted, 你是个不错的家伙，我知, 你知, 她也知
Ted, you're a great guy. I know it, you know it, she knows it.
我愿意赌上大把的钱
不, 我应该更自信点
I would bet you a gazillion dollars，
no, I'm even more confident.
我赌上所有的钱 她不是打电♥话♥说要和你分手
I would bet you a floppity jillion dollars that she's not calling to break up with you.
谢谢 你是对的 我要疯了
Thanks. You're right. I'm being crazy.
所以我还是去买♥♥机票, 是不?
So I should still buy that plane ticket, right?
我会等等看
I'd wait.
在吃饭吗, Blauman? 我是电子炸♥弹♥
Sup, Blauman? E-bomb here.
我们要去卡拉ok吗?
We still on for karaoke?
伙计 我要用麦克风震的你喷鼻血
Dope. I'm going to rock you on the mike so hard your hears are going to bleed gravy.
到时见, 屁♥股♥仔!
Catch you on the flip, butt puppet.
好了...
Okay...
...怎么样?
...what do you think?
牛肉酱
Steak sauce.
牛肉酱?
Steak sauce?
耶
Yeah.
不管你用什么人类学在工作上都不关我的事
Look, you know, whatever anthropology you do at work is your business,
但别在家里也这样
but please don't act like that around here.
Lily, 当Aurelia Birnholz博士...
Lily, when Dr. Aurelia Birnholz...
不对, 当Australia Birdbath-Vaseline博士
从猩猩们那里回来时
No, when Dr. Australia Birdbath-Vaseline came home from the gorillas,
她不会到处抓人们头发上的虱子和乱丢粪便
she didn't run around picking nits out of people's hair and-and throwing feces.
我求你把这些留在办公室吧
I'm begging you just, just leave it at the office.
为什么?
Why?
因为你表现的和那些家伙一样
这些家伙很讨厌
Because you're acting like one of those guys,
and those guys are lame.
好吧, 他们开始是对我很刻薄
Okay, those guys were mean at first, yes,
但他们是不错的人，如果你去了解下他们就会知道了
but they're actually good guys, and if you got to know them, then you would see that.
今晚和我们一起去卡拉ok你就会发现他们没那么讨厌了, 好不?
Come karaoke with us tonight, and you'll see how totally not that lame they are, okay?
好吧
Okay.
但等等, 咚咚, 后门有人敲门, 是谁呢?
But wait, knock-knock, back door, who's there?
Angelina Jolie... 等下，坐在轮椅里
Angelina Jolie... wait, in a wheelchair.
你会怎样? 回答
What do you do? Go.
伙计, 缺胳膊的Scarlett Johannsen每天都有
Dude, Scarlett Johannsen with no arms, any day of the week.
耶
Yeah.
你对了 他们真是不错
You're right. They're delightful.
那Barney, 你要唱吗?
So, Barney, you gonna sing anything?
不要了 我玩腻卡拉ok了
Nah. I'm so over karaoke.
是吗? 我以为你很喜欢玩这个
Really? I thought you'd be totally into it.
噢, 别理解错了 我唱的很好，最好的, 真的
Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm good. The best, really.
我是让刀锈在鞘里的最伟大的武士
But it's the greatest samurai who lets his sword rust in its scabbard.
噢, 宝贝, 这儿有我们的歌♥
Oh, baby, they have our song.
我们来唱"别伤我的心"吧
Let's do "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."
什么?
What?
"别伤我的心"Elton John和Kiki Dee唱的
"Don't Go Breaking My Heart." Elton John, Kiki Dee.
没门 你们得唱黑色安息日乐队的歌♥
No way. You got to go with some Black Sabbath.
恩, 事实上, Marshall和我还有段小舞蹈
Well, actually, Marshall and I have this little dance routine.
"机器人" 我可以唱 "机器人"
"Iron Man." I could do "Iron Man."
牛肉酱
Steak sauce.
牛肉酱, 伙计
Steak sauce, dude.
我们要告诉他吗?
Should we tell him?
好了, Eriksen, 我有个好消息
All right, Eriksen, I've got some good news.
周一, Bilson和我要和人力部的Montague谈
On Monday, Bilson and I are going to talk to Montague in HR.
你毕业后，我们想请你和我们一起工作
When you graduate, we want you working with us.
你说什么?
What do you say?
- 好!
- 这才是我们的男人!
- Yes!
- That's my man!
我就说他会的
I told you he would.
啊, 我们要称霸办公室了
Aw, we're gonna own the office.
好吧, 太讨厌了
Okay, that was gross.
你准备什么时候告诉我你改变了你整个就业计划?
When were you going to tell me you changed your entire career path?
没有什么改变了, 好吗?我还是想支持环保事业
Nothing has changed, okay? I still want to help the environment.
我只是在想也许我可以先挣几年钱
I just thought that maybe I could make some money for a few years.
可以买♥♥间公♥寓♥，把我们的孩子送进好学校
We could buy an apartment, send our kids to good schools.
你可以不用工作, 专心绘画
You could quit your job and focus on your painting.
我知道你说你不需要, 但是...
I know that you say you don't need it, but...
我爱你如论如何都想给你这些
I love you and I want to give it to you anyway.
我想给你挣来那些福利
I want to give you the package.
福利?! 你已经给我了福利了
The package?! You've already given me the package.
你给了我很棒的福利 Marshall
我喜欢你的"福利"
You've got a great package, Marshall.
I love your package.
Lily, 你是让人难以置信的女人，你应该享有一份"大福利"
Lily, you're the most incredible woman I know, and you deserve a big package.
你的"福利"一直都够大了
Your package has always been big enough.
也许你没意识到, Marshall Eriksen
You may not realize this, Marshall Eriksen,
但你有个硕大的"福利"
but you've got a huge package.
是啊
Yeah.
喂
Hello.
她怎么还没打来?
Why hasn't she called yet?
好了, 你要把自己逼疯了，现在是周六晚上
Okay, you're making yourself crazy. It's Saturday night.
出去干点什么
Go out and do something.
不, 我出去干什么?
我有女朋友了... 到现在为止
No, what's the point of going out?
I got a girlfriend... for now.
另外, 如果我出去了, 谁看你播的新闻?
我相当于你的一半观众
Besides, if I go out, who's going to watch the news?
I'm, like, half your viewership.
我真荣幸你认为我有两个观众
I'm flattered you think we have two viewers.
她不会和你分手的，Ted 你很棒
She's not going to break up with you, Ted. You're awesome.
谢谢
Thanks.
不管怎样, 11:00点了 我得让你挂了
Anyway, it's almost 11:00. I should let you go.
祝你好运
Break a leg.
然后我坐在家里, 等着电♥话♥响，我想到了什么
And so I was sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring, something occurred to me.
我就真在这坐着一直等着电♥话♥响
I'm actually sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring.
He's giving you the blues
He's giving you the blues
You want to graduate, but not in his bed
You want to graduate, but not in his bed
Here's what you got to do
Here's what you got to do
Pick up the phone...
Pick up the phone...
Marshall
Marshall.
嘿, 嘿
Hey, hey.
伙计, 我好象一个月没见你了
Dude, I feel like I haven't seen you in a month.
耶
Yeah.
耶
Yeah.
过的怎么样?
How are you doing?
我想Victoria要和我分手了
I think Victoria's about to break up with me.
噢, 天那, 抱歉, 伙计
Oh, God, I'm sorry, man.
耶, 嗯, 说实话，我连想起她的长相都有困难了
Yeah, well, honestly, I'm having trouble remembering what she looks like.
越努力去想, 越想不出来
The more I try to picture her, the more I can't.
就象, 我还记得她给我的感觉
Like, I remember how she makes me feel.
我只是不能完全的回忆起她的样貌
I just... I don't completely remember her.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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