老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S01E09

Part 3 Aug. 2, 2021, 11:12 p.m.

Hi.I'm the aforementioned Ted.
这位是... 呃, 走掉了
And this is... um,gone.
我叫Amanda
I'm Amanda.
嗨
Hi.
那么, 呃……
你在这干什么, Ted?
So,uh,what do you do here,Ted?
嗯, 我... 呃, 什么也没
我什么也没干
Well,I' been... um,nothing.
I do nothing.
嗯, 如果你想做点什么
Well,if you want to do something,
你和你的女朋友能帮到
you and your girlfriend can help
把这些捐赠物分类
sort through these donations.
噢, 呃, 我不是他的女朋友
Oh,um,I'm not his girlfriend.
以前是, 但, 呃
I used to be,but,um,
我在感情和性事上都不适合Ted
I just wasn't enough woman for Ted emotionally or sexually.
噢, 我的天
Oh,my god.
那么, Amanda... 你需要我们做什么?
So,Amanda... what do you need us to do?
好吧, 这很重要
Okay,this is important.
查看这些捐赠食物
Go through all these boxes of food donations,
把好的食物放到这个盒子里
take out the really good stuff,
and put it into this box.
知道了
Got it.
分类
Consider it sorted.
嘿, 我们有事做了
Hey,we're in business.
嘿, 今天Barney不会独享所有的光环了
Hey,Barney's not gonna get all the glory today.
我们还是从这个开始吧
Let's start with this one.
好啊
Yeah.
阿门
Amen.
阿门
Amen.
看看谁来说晚安啦
Look who came to say good night.
是小Martin 三个月大
It's little Martin. Three months old.
月?
Months?
三个月
Three months.
他在喝牛奶了
He's been drinking his milk.
她又怀孕了吗?
and she's already pregnant again?
嗯, 那是因为Eriksen家孩子
制♥造♥的“孩子”会游泳
Well,that's 'cause those
Eriksen boys can swim.
它们有两条尾巴头上有钻
They've got two tails and a drill bit for head.
爸, 你让我难堪了!
Dad,you're embarrassing me!
噢, 别担心, 儿子, 她不会介意的
Oh,don't worry about it,son,she's cool.
她就要变成Eriksen的一员了
She's going to be an Eriksen.
是啊嗯,嗯, 法律上不是
Yeah.Well,well,not literally,
因为, 你知道我要保留我的姓氏
'cause,you know,I'm keeping my name.
但... 那围裙
But... the apron.
嗯, 我们还没决定
什么事情, 我们...
Well,we haven't actually
decided anything yet,so we're...
不是, 我决定要保留我的姓氏
No,I've decided and I'm keeping my own name.
但Eriksen是个好姓氏
But Eriksen is a great last name.
大家都知道Eriksen一家
People know the Eriksens.
嗯, 确实, 在圣克劳德州
Well,sure,in St. Cloud,
但是我们不会让孩子
在圣克劳德州长大是不, 宝贝?
but our kids aren't going to be
growing up in St.Cloud.Right,baby?
嗯, 为什么不在圣克劳德州?
Well,why not St.Cloud?
我是说, 我喜欢在圣克劳德州长大
I mean,I loved growing up in St.Cloud.
圣克劳德州是个度过童年的好地方
St.Cloud is a great place to have a childhood.
嗯, 纽约也是
Well,so is New York.
什么? 就是
what?It is.
我们也成长的很好
And we grew up just fine.
我们长大合适大小然后就停止
And we grew to the proper size and then we stopped.
嘿, Amanda, 这盒东西是要来干嘛的?
Hey,Amanda,what's this box for?
噢, 是给我的
Oh,that's for me.
你可以放到我车上去
You can put it in my car.
你车上, 呃, 然后你就带回...家?
In your car,um,and then you'll take it...Home?
对啊, 我们有很多
多余的食物
Yeah,we get so much extra food,
没人能吃完
no one can eat it all.
噢, 松鹿油太棒了!
Ooh,truffle oil.Score!
人们捐赠食物是因为
People donated this food
他们认为这会
拿去给挨饿的人
thinking it was going to feed the hungry.
我知道
I know.
我也很饿
And I'm starving.
但, Marshall, 你喜欢纽约
But,Marshall,you love New York.
是, 我喜欢, 但是你一直说我们有孩子后
Yes,l do,but you always said that when we have kids,
想搬出曼哈顿
you wanted to move out of Manhattan.
是啊, 去布鲁克林
Yeah,to Brooklyn.
为什么我们要讨论这个?
Why are we even talking about this?
这就象一路走到黑
This is like way down the road.
但Lily知道一路走到黑
But lily knew"way down the road"
也许并不那么远
might not be so far down the road.
我要去厕所
I need to go to the restroom.
Lily, 厕所在另一边
Lily,the restroom's the other way.
所以她走向那条路
So she literally headed down the road.
Lily? Lily!
lily?lily!
这么说你们今天没为
任何人做点什么
So, wait. Not only have you not done
any good for anyone today,
还帮别人从流浪者
you're actually helping someone
那里偷取食物?
steal from the homeless?
你知道, Ted, 今天是感恩节
You know,Ted,it's called thanksgiving,
不是感谢偷取东西的节,该死
not thankstaking,damn.
Barney, 你需要我给你
签报到簿, 是吧?
Barney,you needed me to sign your time sheet,right?
噢, 是啊, 对谢谢
Oh,yeah,right.Thanks.
Barney
Barney.
嗯, 怎么了?
Yeah,what's up?
你要签报到簿吗?
You have a time sheet?
别人都没有报到簿
No one else has a time sheet.
对那?
Yeah. So?
好吧, 让我看看
All right,let me see that.
拜托这是我的隐私, 我的私事!
That's my private,personal business!
法庭服社会役令?
Court-mandated community service?
我的天, 你在缓刑期?
Oh my god,you're on probation?
你干了什么?
What did you do?
这是我的私人问题
That's my private,personal business.
我被不公♥证♥的惩罚了
I was unfairly punished
只是因为那面墙属于基♥督♥教堂
because the wall belonged to the judge's church.
你在教堂边撒尿?
You peed on a church?
是在小巷子里
I peed in an alley,
刚好有座教堂
which happened to have a church,
因为我喝醉了没有看到
which I did not see because I was drunk.
噢, 你是魔鬼
Oh,you are evil.
啊, 世界又正常了
Ah,all's right with the world again.
好吧, 好, 所以法官让我做这个
Okay,fine,so a judge is making me do this.
但我还是在做
But I'm still doing it.
而且做的很棒, 顺便说一句
And kicking ass at it,btw.
最后一次你们做好事是什么时候, 哈?
When's the last time either of you did something good,huh?
Kendall
Kendall.
啊, Kendall
Ah,Kendall.
Amanda从无家可归的
Amanda is stealing portabello
人们那里偷蘑菇
mushrooms from homeless people.
Amanda
Amanda.
我也想要那些蘑菇
I called dibs on the portabello mushrooms.
这些是给饥饿的人的
Those are for the hungry.
我知道我很饿
I know. And I'm starving.
那些是很好的蘑菇
Those are good mushrooms.
蘑菇蘑菇
Mushrooms.Mushrooms.
每个人都有蘑菇拿
Portabello mushrooms for everyone.
拿好它们然后跑掉!
Take them and run!
这些是很贵的
They're very expensive.
感恩节快乐
Happy thanksgiving.
感恩节快乐哼
"Happy thanksgiving." Huh.
如果在这时候买♥♥验孕棒算快乐的话, 每个人都快乐
As in "check out the chick buying the knock-up test,everybody.
担心着会有什么结果?
Wonder what must be going through her head?
对, 嗯, 既然你问了
Yeah,well,since you asked,