老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S01E07
Part 2
Aug. 2, 2021, 11:12 p.m.
滚出去! 你, 我能帮你
Get out of here! You,I can work with.
给我3天时间
You give me three days,and I will find
我会找出你的伴侣
the woman you will marry.
呃, 不用了谢了
Uh,no thanks.
我不需要一个算术系统
来帮我找女朋友
I don't need an algorithm to meet women.
这里是纽约
It's new york city,
你知道 大海里有很多鱼
you know-- plenty of fish in the sea.
大海里有很多鱼
Plenty of fish in the sea.
嗯, 纽约有九百万人口
Yes,there's nine million people in new york,
四百五十万女人
4.5 million women.
当然
Of course,you want to meet
你想要的是跟你年龄差不多的
somebody roughly your own age.
我们就假设, 加减五年内
Let's say,plus,minus,five years.
所以根据我们最新的数据
So if we take into account the most recent census data,
只剩下四十八万两千人合乎标准了
that leaves us with 482,000.
但是, 呃, 等等...
But,uh,wait...
其中48%已经有主了
48% of those are already in relationships,
再排除掉一半
and then you have to eliminate half
还要考虑智商, 幽默感
for intelligence,sense of humor
和你知趣相投的
然后再去掉
and compatibility,and then you have to take out
你的前女朋友和亲戚
the ex-girlfriends and the relatives,
最后, 噢, 别忘了同性恋
and,oh,we can't forget those lesbians.
剩下的只有八个啦
And then that leaves us with eight women.
这不可能
八个? 真的吗? 就八个?
That can't be right. Eight? Really? Eight?
八条鱼在这片大海洋里, Ted
There are eight fish in that big blue ocean,ted.
如果你有绝对的自信可以不用我的帮助
And if you feel confident that you could reel one
钓一条上船, 门就在那边
in to your boat without me,there's the door.
你这可以刷♥卡♥吗?
Do you take credit cards?
好吧, 它又来了
Okay,it's back.
我们这次看仔细了
And this time we got a good look.
嘿, 我认真的, 你得停止这样
Hey,seriously,you have to stop doing that.
它长的更大了 它喂的很饱
It's bigger now. It's been feeding.
我们在楼上看电视
We were just upstairs watching TV.
噢, 天那
Oh,gosh.
好吧,我们来干吧
okay,let's do this.
shh,shh,shh（尖叫声）
shh,shh,shh.
没事了 都过去了
噢, 天那!
It's okay. It's over. Oh,god!
那么你们看清楚那东西啦?
So did you get a good look at it?
是啊 它有六只脚
Yeah. It has six legs,
有坚硬的甲壳, 就象蟑螂
a hard exoskeleton,like a roach.
但是它有老鼠的特点
But it had mouse-like characteristics.
灰色的皮毛和尾巴
Grey-brown tufts of fur,a tail.
那到底是什么, 蟑螂还是老鼠?
So which is it,a cockroach or a mouse?
- 它只蟑螂鼠
- 什么?
-It's a cock-a-mouse.
-What?
它是两种的综合变异体
It's some sort of mutant combination of the two.
就象一只老鼠和蟑螂
It's as if a cockroach and a mouse,
你们知道...
you know...
地面上有这种10条腿的混合物种吗?
did the horizontal,ten-legged,interspecies cha-cha?
这不可能
That's impossible.
不会发生这种事
That simply can't happen.
-噢, 但是可以
-它确实发生了
Oh,but it can. And it has.
而且很生气
And it's pissed.
伙计, 没什么事吧?
Dude,is everything okay?
你们的门没关
You left the front door open.
是没时间关
There was no time.
嗯, 恋爱配对中心?
So,love solutions?
你碰到你的爱人了?
Did you meet the love of your life?
她说只要三天
She said it'd take three days.
现在已经五天了
It's been five days.
我应该担心吗?
Should I be worried?
噢, 别当回事
Oh,just play it cool.
别太担心
Don't ted out about it.
你刚刚把我的名字当动词用吗?
Did you just use my name as a verb?
噢, 嗯
我们在你背后一直那样
Oh,yeah. We do that behind your back.
"Ted out" 表示想太多
"Ted out," to overthink.
还有"Ted up"
Also see "ted up."
"Ted up"表示想太多
"Ted up"-- to overthink something
不好的结果
with disastrous results.
列如: Billy 想太多不好的结果
Sample sentence: Billy tedded up
当他... 好了
when he tried... okay,
我知道了 别担心
I get it. Don't worry.
我不会担心太多
I'm not going to ted anything up. Or out.
我得多给她点时间
I should give it a few more days.
嗨, Ellen 记得我吗?
Hi,ellen. Remember me?
我是Ted
I'm ted.
Ted, 嗨
我, 呃, 本来想打电♥话♥给你
Ted,hi. I,uh,meant to call you.
电脑仍然在处理数据
The computer is still crunching the numbers.
象勤劳的蜜蜂, 可爱的小电脑
Busy as a bee,that little computer.
你说只要三天
You said it was going to be three days.
- 我有吗? 嗯
- 三天? 真的吗? 是啊
-Did I? Hmm.
-Three days? Really? Yeah,
当有人说
and when someone says
你将在三天内碰到你的完美女人
you're going to meet the perfect woman in three days,
你会考虑把这加到约会表里
you kind of put that in your date book,
那么...
我该怎么说呢?
so... how do I say this?
这事变的很艰难
This is going to be really hard.
Ted... 我找不到
Ted... there are absolutely
任何一个女人给你
no women out there for you.
唷, 还好, 我熬过这一刻了
Phew,actually,I got through that okay.
找不到一个女人给我？我以为会有八个适合我的
There are no women out there for me?
I thought you said there were eight.
我知道 理论上应该是
I know. There are supposed to be.
但我不知道她们哪去了
I don't know where they are.
但... 我是个设计师
But... I'm an architect.
你也说我很讨人喜欢
And you said I'm cute.
我是个讨人喜欢的设计师
I'm a cute architect.
你觉得我怎么想?
How do you think I feel?
我有100%的成功率
I have a 100% success rate.
这是我的卖♥♥点
That's my hook.
我也许能给你找到某人
I could maybe find somebody for you
如果你是同性恋
if you were gay.
嗯, 我不是
Well,I'm not.
有一点双性恋?
A little bi maybe?
不! 你在和我开玩笑, 是不?
No! You're messing with me,right?
你自己过来看看
Come see for yourself.
我不能给你配对
I can not set you up
除非你融合度有7.0
unless you have a compatibility rating of 7.0
或者再高点
or higher.
-看, 5.4, 4.8, 5.6
-有个9.6在那
And look,5.4,4.8,5.6. There's a 9.6 right there.
别碰电脑
Don't touch the computer.
对, Sarah O'brien
Yes,sarah o'brien.
我六个月前已经给她找对象了
I fixed her up six months ago.
她应该更合适你
She would have been absolutely perfect for you.
嗯, 你给他找的那家伙怎么样?
Well,what about the guy you set her up with?
他们的融合度是9.6吗?
Is he a 9.6 compatibility rating?
8.5
那他很烂
8.5. So he sucks.
不, 8.5已经是很不错的程度了
No,8.5 is an extremely good match-up quotient.
噢, 当然, 那很好
Oh,sure,it's good.
- 很不错, 但是9.6?
- 9.6是超出想象
-It's solid,but a 9.6?
-9.6 is off the charts,
但是Sarah已经有主了
but sarah is matched up.
Ted, 听着, 我有午餐约会
Ted,look,I have a lunch.
啊, 我保证我们会找到合适的人
Please,i promise we will find you somebody.
别失去希望
Don't lose hope.
每天都会有女人迈入18岁
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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