老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E21
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:08 a.m.
很好 他快睡着了
Cue the river of drool.
不一会儿口水就要逆流成河了
My knee itches.
我的膝盖好痒
Just one little scratch.
只抓一小下
Marshall!
Marshall!
I think we should get separate beds.
我觉得我们应该买♥♥两张单人床
Yes! A mini-fridge!
绝对的 还要买♥♥个小冰箱
And separate beds.
和单人床
Deal!
好的
Don. Hi.
Don 嗨
I-I came to apologize to all of you.
我是来向你们道歉的
I overreacted.
我反应过度了
Well,we owe you an apology,too,Don.
我们也应该向你的道歉 Don
We said some pretty hurtful things.
我们说了一些很伤人的话
- No,you didn't. - Right,right.
- 你们没说啊 - 哦 对
That was after you left.
是在你走了之后说的
I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth in the first place.
我很抱歉没有事先告诉你真♥相♥
No,I acted like a total drama queen.
我表现得太戏剧化了 (也可以引申为讽刺同志的词)
That's not offensive,right?
没有冒犯你吧?
Still not gay. Sorry. Sorry.
我不是同性恋 不好意思
Look,the point is,you both are clearly very important to Robin,
重点是 你们都是Robin生命里很重要的人
so why don't we all have dinner tomorrow night at my place?
不如明天都来我家吃顿饭吧?
Oh,that's great!
很好啊
Looking forward to it,buddy.
相当期待 哥们
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
- 谢谢 - 不客气
- DON: Want to go? - Yeah. See you guys.
- 要走吗? - 好的 再见
Bye. Bye.
再见
- Ted? - Yeah?
- Ted? - 啥事?
I must have Robin back.
我要把Robin追回来
You're kidding,right?
你开玩笑的吧?
No! I don't know what it is,but I-I want Robin back.
没有 我不知道是为什么 但是我一定要把Robin追回来
I know what it is.
我知道是为什么
You're like a little kid who throws a toy away,
你就像个甩开了一个玩具的小孩
and then wants it back the second another kid starts playing with it.
看到其他孩子玩起来的时候 又马上想要把它夺回来
: Well,maybe I wasn't done playing with it!
也许我还没玩够呢!
Maybe I just set it down 'cause I wanted to play with some other stuff for a second!
也许我只是把它放下一会儿 去玩玩别的玩具
Okay. You're ready.
好的 你准备好了
Ready for what?
准备好干嘛?
To read the letter.
读分手信
NARRATOR: Kids,the letter was a device I'd invented
孩子们 分手信是我发明的一种工具
to remind myself why I'd broken up with somebody.
来提醒自己和某个人分手的原因
I'd been doing it for years.
这个习惯我已经坚持了很多年了
TED : "Dear Future Ted:
致未来的Ted:
"never get back with Karen "because she's a pretentious snob.
绝对不要和Karen复合 她是个装13的小人
"Oh,also,she cheated on you.
而且 她还劈腿
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
很抱歉是你亲自捉奸在床的
See,we're already laughing about it."
看 已经开始觉得有点好笑了吧
"Dear Future Ted: stay away from Natalie,
致未来的Ted 远离Natalie那一类的女孩
"or any girl who can pin you to the ground
她们会把你死死按在地上
"and beat you senseless in front of a cheering crowd.
当着一大群人把你暴揍一顿
"P.S.: please consult a therapist about why that turned you on a little bit."
附: 去找心理医生咨♥询♥一下 为什么这个会让你颇有性致
"Dear Relationship Genius:
致恋爱达人
"Stella left you at the altar.
Stella在圣坛前抛弃了你
"You may never love again
你也许再也不会重入爱河了
and will probably die alone."
然后孤独终老
Huh. It doesn't look so sad written in calligraphy.
用笔写出来之后 看上去也不是那么惨嘛
NARRATOR: So when Barney and Robin broke up the previous fall...
所以去年秋天Barney和Robin分手的时候
Dating Robin was a huge mistake.
和Robin交往是个错误
- Write that down. - What?
- 写下来 - 什么?
Write yourself a letter.
给你自己写封信
That way,when you miss Robin-- and you will--
这样 当你想Robin的时候 你肯定会的
you can remind yourself why you broke up.
它会提醒你 你们分手的原因
Gladly.
好主意
"Dear Future Barney..."
致未来的Barney
This ink is cool.
这墨水真赞
Right? Right?
是吧?
"You and Robin..."
你和Robin
******
今天
"Were a terrible couple.
是很糟的一对
"You just didn't work.
你们俩是不合适的
"Sure,you'll always love Robin,but remember other women?
你会永远爱Robin 但是记住还有其他女人
"More importantly,remember other boobs?
更重要的是 还有其他胸部
"And all the cool stuff you can do with boobs:
还有你能怎么玩胸部
"Nuzzle,juggle,
用鼻子蹭 玩戏法
honka-honka."
哼咔 哼咔
"I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic."
我想我是个无可救药的浪漫主义者
Then there's just a bunch of drawings of boobs.
我还画了些胸部
You get it now?
现在你明白了?
Yeah,I get it.
明白了
I definitely want her back.
我的确想要她回来
I don't think human beings were ever meant to sleep in the same bed.
我觉得人类不一定要睡在同一张床上
Somehow sex and sleep got all jumbled together,but they're two different things.
有时候性♥爱♥和睡眠被混为一谈了 但是他们是完全不同的
I know. I mean,I love you,but I want this new bed to be a sanctuary for sleep and sleep alone.
我知道 我爱你 但是我只想一个人在这张床上好好睡觉
Me,too.
我也是
And some light snacking,but that's it.
还想吃点零食 就这些了
Hey,you know what we should get?
你知道我们还该买♥♥什么吗?
We should get a third bed just for sex.
我们应该再买♥♥张专门用来做♥爱♥的床
Yes.A sex bed.
对的 性♥爱♥之床
A dirty,dirty sex bed.
专门做♥爱♥的淫♥荡♥荡的床
It's genius! That way,each bed would have a specific purpose.
太有才了 这样 每个床都有特定用途
Exactly.
就是啊
We'll have two sleep beds,a sex bed,
我们有两张睡觉的床 一张做♥爱♥的床
and I'm thinking a beanbag chair just for special birthday stuff.
我在想再弄张豆袋椅 专门用于生日的特殊需求
Baby,did we just revolutionize modern marriage?
宝贝 我们是在改革当代婚姻模式啊
Damn straight.
正是!
Hey,guys. Hey,Don.
- 嘿 大伙好 - 嘿 Don
I hope you like sushi.
希望你们喜欢寿司
How cool is it that Don makes sushi?
Don会做寿司 多酷啊
He learned while on assignment in Japan.
他外派到日本的时候学的
Mmm,ring worm-ilicious.
恩 癣菌般美味啊
Barney,be nice.
Barney 态度好点
You only want her 'cause you can't have her.
你想得到她仅仅是因为你得不到她
It's like if I said you can sit anywhere in this room except that chair.
就好比我说屋子里除了那个椅子 其他地方你随便坐
Are you so petty that you...?
你狭隘到了...?
My chair! My chair!
我的椅子!我的椅子! (没长大的孩子啊)
Ooh! Spicy tuna with jalapeno?
唔! 香辣金枪鱼加墨西哥胡椒?
- My favorite. - Yes,mine,too.
- 我的最爱 - 也是我的
I love spicy food. The hotter the better.
我爱吃辣 越辣越好
I love spicy stuff,too,guy,
我也爱吃辣 伙计
probably more than you do.
可能比你还能吃呢
- Check it. - DON: Don't.
- 看着 - 别
: Super-mild.
一点也不...辣
I'm not feeling it!
完全感觉不到!
Hey,Lily,you won't believe it.It's the craziest thing.
嘿 Lily 你绝对想不到 太疯狂了
Don has twin beds,too.
Don家也有两张单人床
Oh,my God!We just got twin beds.
哦 天啊! 我们最近刚买♥♥了两张单人床
Oh,oh. Great,great.
哦 哦 挺好 挺好
Whoa,wait.That great didn't sound so great.
等一下 你这个挺好 听起来不怎么好
Well,my ex-wife and I thought they'd be a good idea,
我和我前妻也觉得是个好主意
but we just started to drift apart,so...
但是之后我们就开始相敬如冰了
Yeah,but I bet you didn't have another bed just for sex.
哦 我猜你们肯定没有 另外一张专门做♥爱♥的床
No,but she did,at her personal trainer's house.
没有 但是她有 在她私人教练家里
This chili is like an ice cube in my mouth.
这个辣椒在我嘴里简直像是冰块
I will say this,though.I'm going to get a king-size bed if Robin decides to move in.
但是我想说 要是Robin决定搬进来 我会去买♥♥超大双人床
I'd like that... if I move in.
我喜欢...要是我打算搬进来的话
If you move in.
要是你打算搬进来
Hey,hey,hey,hey,hey,Tokyo Don,
嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿 日本来的Don
you ever do this back in Japan?
你在日本有没有这样过?
- Wasabi! - Barney,don't.
- 芥末! - Barney 别
Hey. Oh,my God,Barney!
嘿 天啊 Barney
Awesome!
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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