老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E16
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:06 a.m.
厨娘Scooter今天又来了
Oh,yeah?
是吗?
Did you jump on that thing?
你有没有跳上去
Give it a ride?
骑到它上面?
No!
没有!
Really?
真的?
If it were me,I'd be riding that scooter all day long until I broke that thang in half.
如果是我的话 我会一天到晚骑着它 直到它断成两半(笑死)
So those poor women still have to walk everywhere?
那些可怜的女人还是要徒步到处跑吗
Wait.Scooter is working at your school?!
等一下 Scooter在你们学校工作?
Are you jealous?
你吃醋了?
No,I just feel bad for Scooter.
不 我为Scooter叫屈
'Cause the only reason he took that job is he thinks he has a shot with you.
因为他会在那里工作 唯一的原因是他认为和你还有希望
You have to make it clear that he doesn't,
你必须跟他说明白 他没有机会了
so that he can move on and a real lunch lady can get her job back.Damn!
这样他才能向前看 才能把工作还给一个真正的厨娘 靠
I've tried.
我试过了
Hey,Lily.
Lily
I saw you had seventh period free.
我知道你第七节课休息
So do I.
我也是
You want to run away together?
跟我一起私奔吧?
Let me be clear,Scooter.
我必须跟你说清楚 Scooter
There is no way you and I can ever be together.
我们俩是不可能在一起的
Right now.
目前来说
I'll see you tomorrow,Lily.
明天见 Lily
It's Tijuana Tuesday.
明天是"提华纳的周二"
"Right now"?
"目前来说"?
You right-now'd Scooter?
你对Scooter说"目前来说"?
You need to let Scooter off the hook once and for all.
你必须要让Scooter永久脱离钩子
LILY: You're right.
你说得对
Day after tomorrow,that's exactly what I'm going to do.
我打算后天就跟他摊牌
Why not tomorrow?
为什么明天不说?
Baby,I can't ruin Tijuana Tuesday.
亲爱的 我不能毁了提华纳的周二
Really?
真的吗?
You're really going to sit here all night watching the door
你打算整晚呆坐着看着门
because Tiffany said she'll "try to stop by"?
就因为Tiffany说她会"尽量赶过来"?
Barney,I'm not going to just give up on her.
Barney 我不会就这么放弃她的
NARRATOR: I should have given up on her.
我真应该放弃她的
This girl is special.
这个女孩很特别
She was the devil.
她是恶魔
Things are going to work out with Tiffany.
和Tiffany会有结果的
No,they're not,dumbass.
不 不会有结果的 蠢蛋
Ted,let me be clear: this girl is a poison and you need to cut her out of your life forever.
Ted 我就说白了 这个女人是瓶毒药 你要永远的将她从生活中抹去
Hey,there she is.
她来了
Oh,she brought some of her coworkers.
还带了些同事过来
Hang on to this girl,Ted.
紧紧抓牢这个女孩 Ted
Hang on to her and never let go!
紧紧抓住她 永不放手!
these are some of the hottest girls I've ever seen.
Ted 她们是我见过最漂亮的女人
And they all work with Tiffany?
她们都和Tiffany共事?
Yup.
是的
There could only be one explanation for this.
只有一个原因可以解释了
Ted...
Ted
is Tiffany a ph-ph-ph...
Tiffany是不是医 医 医...
pharmaceutical sales rep?
医药销♥售♥代表?
Yeah,how did you know that?
是的 你怎么知道的?
And you never thought to mention that?
你怎么都不说下?
What?It's just a job.
为什么? 这只是份工作
Just a j...
只是份...
just a jah...
只是份工...
Ted,throughout time there has always been one cutting-edge profession to which hot girls,
Ted 一直以来 只有一种顶级职业 聚集了所有辣妹
like Tiffany,have flocked.
就像Tiffany那样的 还成群结队的
Shall I walk you through the history?
要我给你讲一讲历史吗?
- I'm gonna explicitly say no. - It all started 2.5 million years ago.
- 我明确地表示拒绝 - 250万年前
BARNEY: Man was a hunter.
男人是猎人
So,the hottest profession of the day?
史上最辣的职业?
Gatherer.
采摘者
Homo erectus indeed.
的确是猿人(直立--Barney指胸)
As man mastered technology, the hottest profession of the day evolved.
男人进入技术时代 史上最辣的职业莫过于
I'm pretty sure it's a hernia.
我很确定是疝气
Can you check again?
能再查一次吗?
And then,man took to the skies.
然后 男人飞上了天空
And so,hot women put on high heels and became stewardesses.
所以 辣妹穿上了高跟鞋成为了空姐
I am in the upright and locked position.
我已经调节到"垂直锁定"的位置了
And then man said,"Life is hard.
然后男人说 "人生苦短
I should start taking lotsf prescription drugs.
我应该开始服用大量处方药"
" And so,hot girls rolled into doctors' offices,
所以 辣妹们蜂拥到医生办公室
looking sexy enough to render the very erection pills they peddled ironically redundant.
打扮得相当性感 来兜售她们的 勃起小药丸
So now,pharma girls are today's hottest profession.
所以如今 药业就是当今的最辣职业
Hey,Big Brown Eyes.
嗨 棕色电眼
How you doing?
你好吗?
I'm good.
我很好
Hey,by the way,you,uh,you ditch that loser boyfriend yet?
顺便问下 你 你甩了那个废物男友了吗?
No,sir.
没有 先生
Touched my nose.
碰了我的鼻子
Dude,ditch Tiffany and join the Barnacle in a pharma girl free-for-all.
甩了Tiffany 加入Barnacle药业 女孩全场免费
Side effects may include loss of clothing,rug burn,
副作用可能包括衣服丢失 地毯损伤
shortness of breath and sore abdominals the next morning.
呼吸急促 第二天早上腹部疼痛
What in the world is up?!
这世界到底怎么了?!
So...
所以...
I know that you've been having trouble letting Scooter off the hook.
我知道让Scooter下钩不容易
Well,I decided what you need is practice.
好 我决定你需要的就是练习
Now,you say the problem is his cute,sad eyes?
你说问题在于 他那可爱的 楚楚可怜的双眼
Well...
噢...
All right,shut it,woman.
闭嘴 女人
Now,I want you to look at this teacup pig
现在 我要你看着这只迷你猪
and tell him that there's no way that you could ever be with him.
告诉他你们之间绝对没有可能
Teacup Pig,there is no way I can ever be with you.
小猪猪 我们之间没有可能
Right now.
目前来说
come on!Grow a pair!
够了! 成熟点!
I'm sorry,but he's just so freakin' cute.
对不起 但他真的太可爱了
I just want to cuddle him all day long.
让我抱他一整天都行
Yes,I do.
没错 我愿意
You know that's funny.I remember when you used to say things like that about me.
有趣 让我想起你以前也这么对我说过
Oh,I still do.
现在我仍然愿意啊
Yeah,not as much,Lily.
今不如昔了 Lily
Not as much.
今不如昔
Ain't no party like a pharma girl party 'Cause a pharma girl party don't stop!
医药销♥售♥女代表的派对是最棒的 因为它不会停止!
Dude,I have already hooked up with three of them.
哥们 我已经搞定三个了
Fantasmo.
棒极了
Plus,my cholesterol is down.
还有 我的胆固醇降低了
My restless legs syndrome is cured.
腿部不宁症治好了
I've never felt more alive- oh.
我从来没感到生命如此鲜活
Guys,great news.
好消息
Tiffany broke up with her boyfriend.
Tiffany终于和她男友分手
Proof that I am not on the hook.
就此证明了 我没上钩
Oh,you're still on the hook.
你还是上钩了
Ah,uh-uh,listen to how we spent last night.
先听听昨晚我们怎么过
First,we cuddled.
首先 我们拥抱
Then,we shared chocolate cake.
然后 我们一起吃巧克力蛋糕
Then,well,I don't usually join in on locker room talk,
之后 虽然我不常参加更衣室谈话 (炫耀性事的场所)
but I gave her a pretty sensual foot rub.
但我给她妙不可言的揉脚
And let me guess: it didn't go any further than that.
我猜猜 事情就到此为止了
Well,no,but...
嗯 不尽然 不过...
And tell me,did you by any chance make that chocolate cake?
告诉我 那巧克力蛋糕是你做的吗?
- It was a mix. - Dude.
我有负责搅拌
There's no shame in admitting it,Ted.
没有必要羞于承认 Ted
We've all been on people's hooks and we've all kept someone on the hook.
我们都曾上过钩 也让别人上我们的钩
Um,I most certainly have not.
我就没有过
What?!Are you joking?
什么?! 开什么玩笑?
What about that girl from the university library?
还记得那个大学图书馆的女生吗?
Um, Henrietta?
Henrietta?
Henrietta and I are just friends.
Henrietta和我只是朋友
Oh, she is so on your hook.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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