老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E08
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:04 a.m.
好吧 Lorenzo Von Matterhorn是什么?
Glad you asked.
问得好
the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
BARNEY: To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need:
就是假装是Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Basic knowledge of Web site design and a very unique fake ne.
只要会基本的网页设计和一个独一无二的假名字
So,think of your fake namright now.
想想取啥名字吧
Have you g it?Good.
想到了? 很好
Now,select your target.
现在 选择目标
Preferably a girl with a real ni...phone.
最好是拿着华丽丽手♥机♥的妞
Yeah,it's me.
没错 就是我
Do I know you?
我认识你吗?
I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
我是Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Are you,like, famous or something?
你是名人还是咋的?
Yes.
对
你真不知道我是谁 对吧?
What a refreshing change opace.ce to meet you...
真是不可思议 遇见你很高兴
Shelly.
Shelly
Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
再说一遍 我是Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Spelled like it sounds two "T"s.
正如其发音一样 有两个T
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Ciao.
再见
BARNEY: Then,as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone
只要你一走 她就掏出手♥机♥
and does an Internet searc for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
开始上网查Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
And that's whenshe discovers.
这就是她查到的
a series of fake Web sites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
一连串描述Lorenzo Von Matterhorn 传奇人生的虚假网页
There's the fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire.
介绍Lorenzo的商业撰文 身价亿万的隐士
The fake Explorers Club newsletter describing his balloon trek to the North Pole
探险俱乐部关于他乘热气球 只身前往北极的简报
as a feat of pure daring and imagination.
实乃大胆而富有创造力的壮举
The fake medical journal featuring the heartbreaking story of doctors
以及医生悲痛欲绝地劝导其别做阴♥茎♥缩短术
telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option.
为专栏特写的医药杂♥志♥
And by the time you get back.
这时你正好回来
Hi,Shelly, uh,I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?
嗨 Shelly 我不喜欢进展太快 但我能请你喝咖啡吗?
Yes!Please.
好! 拜托
What does ffee go for these days,$50?
最近咖啡多少钱 50块?
: Oh,Lorenzo.
噢 Lorenzo
And it is on.
好戏开~场
That's awful.
真卑鄙
You alize you broke her heart,right?
你明知道伤她心了 对吧?
She's inconsolable.
她伤心欲绝
Why would shbe inconsolable?
她为何会伤心欲绝?
Lorenzo's balloon won't sappear over the Arctic for another week.
Lorenzo的热气球下周 就在北极上空消失了
The only way she would be upset is if someone told her it waall a bunch of lies.
除非有人告诉这一切全是谎言 她才会伤心欲绝
Itas all just a bunch of lies?
这一切全是谎言?
It was all just a bunch of lies.
全是谎言
- The balloon expedition? - Lies!
- 热气球探险? - 骗人的!
- The man-made island shaped like his face off the coast of Dubai? - Lies!
- 迪拜海岸边上照着他的脸型而造的人工岛 - 骗人的!
Finishing third in the laser tag competition?
激光枪比赛排名第三?
Li-- Oh,actually, that one's true.I went to that.
骗... 那倒是真的 我也去了
- You went to the Vatican? - Lies!
- 你去梵蒂冈了? - 骗人的!
Oh,my God!
我的天!
Well,I hope you're happy with yourself.
你现在满意了
- What? - You broke that girl's heart.
- 什么啊? - 你碾碎了那姑娘的心
- Me? - You!
- 我? - 你!
She'll probably never trust a guy again.
她可能不会再相信别人了
You ruined her for Ted.
为了Ted 你毁了她
Noto mention Julio Von Matterhorn, Lorenzo's twin brother.
更别说Julio Von Matterhorn Lorenzo的孪生弟弟了
Can you believe that?He blames me
难以置信 他竟然怪到我头上
Oh,and by the way,Ted, I bet she'd still go out with you.
还有 Ted 我想她还会和你约会的
m,let me think.Do I want to go out with a girl Barney hooked up with?
我想想 我想和Barney泡过的妞约会吗?
Guys,help me out with the harmonies.Sure.
- 伙计们 帮我来段和声 - 行
* Hell no...
不可能...
Well,you st be a little bothered by this.
你还为这些感到不快吗?
Well,it's his life.Look,if these girls are dumb enough to fall for this crap,
那是他的人生 听着 要是那些 姑娘聪明点就不会上当
Agreed.Have you seen the one there labeled "The SNASA"?
同意 你看到那个"SNASA"了吗?
"The SNASA"
"SNASA"
Wow,you're an astronaut?
哇 你是宇航员?
I'm actually in a top secret governnt space program called Secret NASA or SNASA.
其实我在做一个绝密的政♥府♥太空项目 叫绝密NASA或者秘之NASA
Wow,SNASA.
挖无 秘之总署
Do you go to the Moon and stuff?
你去过月球还是啥的吗?
Well,not the Moon you're familiar with, though I have been to the Smoon.
算是去过 不过不是你平时见到的月球 叫秘之月
Wow,t Smoon.
挖无 秘之月
Ifou fall for that one, my heart breaks for you, but I'm sorry, you're a smoron.
要是你连这都信 我真为你伤心 得罪说一句 你是个秘之蠢材
So,what hapns next?
然后呢?
Come on,Barney, you just...
别这样 Barney 你刚...
You just got out oan honest to God relationship.
你刚从一段神圣的爱情中恢复单身
You're a real boy now.
你现在已经成长为男子汉了
You can't go back to these cheap tricks.
不能再用以前那些低俗伎俩
Cheap tricks?
低俗伎俩?
Not one of these is a cheap trick.
这些方法没有一个是低俗伎俩
Except for "The Cheap Trick.
除了"低俗伎俩"
" I'm the bass playerfor Cheap Trick.
我是低俗伎俩乐队的贝斯手
And even that one involves expensive hair extensions.
就算是这个 那套假发也还是高级货
Now,if you don't mind, I am off to prepare for toght's main event.
好了 不介意的话 我要开始今晚的活动
I will be performing "The 's Not Coming.
我要去实施"他不会来了"
" Glad you asked.
问得好
The 's Not Coming.
"他不会来了"
BARNEY: To perform "The He's Not Coming," here's what you'll need:
要实施"他不会来了" 你需要:
The observation deck of the Empire Ste Building.
帝国大厦的观赏层
Are you there?
上去了吗?
Good.
很好
For generations, this has been the spot New Yorkers have chosen
这里一直以来都被纽约客选为
for their romantic reunions with long-estranged lovers,
长♥期♥未见的情侣浪漫重逢之地
so all you have to do is walk up to every girl you see and say...
你只需要跟每个你见到的女生说...
他不会来了
What are you talking about?
你在说什么?
Never mind.
请无视我
He's not coming.
他不会来了
He's not coming.
他不会来了
She's not coming?Sorry.
她不会来了? 不好意思
Until sooner or later...
迟早...
He's not coming.
他不会来了
He's not?
他不来了?
But we agreed.
可我们说好了
We always said we'd meet here.
我们要在这里见面的
On this night.
就在今晚
: I'm such a fool.
我真是个傻瓜
All right,I'm going to go get the paper.
我去拿报纸
More like, go get a husband.
是去捡个老公吧
- Totally. - Okay,you guys need to stop at,seriously.
- 说得好 - 说真的 你们别再这样了
The last thing I am looking for right now is a relationship.
我现在对恋爱完全没兴趣
When you pick up that newspaper, be sure to check the wedding announcements.
去拿报纸的时候 记得看看结婚通告
: For yours.
是你的哟
MARSLL: Robin,it's like this.
Robin 是这样的
Do you have anidea how many times in my life I've gone to t freezer
你知道我这辈子有多少次打开冰箱
looking for frozen waffles and not found them?
想找些冰华夫饼而没找着?
- Thousands? - Millions.
- 上千次? - 上百万次
But when I go to the freezer loing for a Popsicle--
但当我打开冰箱想找些冰棒
or the remote control because Lily and I are having a fight and she's hidden it there--
或者遥控器 因为我和Lily一吵架 她就会把它藏那儿
you know what I fi?Frozen waffles.
知道我找到什么了吗? 冰华夫饼
That's how it works.You go out there looking for a paper,
就是这样 你出去拿报纸
you're coming back with frozen waffles.
你一回来后头就会跟着个冰华夫饼
And,in this case,frozen waffles
我说的这个冰华夫饼 是个男人
Also,could you pick up some frozen waffles?
对了 能帮我带点冰华夫饼回来吗?
In that case,frozen waffles...
这次我说的冰华夫饼...
are frozen waffles.
就是冰华夫饼
Guys,code red!Emergency.Lockdown.
红色警报! 紧急情况 一级防守
- Nobody's leaving. - Whoa,what happened?
- 大家都别走 - 怎么了?
I tried "The He's Not Coming," anit worked.Gangbusters.
我用了"他不会来了"这招 大成功 搞定
Yoshould have seen this girl.
你得见见这妞
Bang,ping, pa-dowga-donk.
美得没话说哦!
Okay,I'm leaving.
好了 我走了
So,we get up to my place, and I go intmy room to set up the camera--
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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