老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E13
Part 1
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:05 a.m.
*** your 30s and living in New York,
孩子们 等你们到了30岁还住在纽约
there's a few places you just never want to be:
有几个地方你们绝对不会想去
Times Square on New Year's Eve,
新年夜的时代广场
Rockefeller Center around Christmastime...
圣诞节前后的洛克菲勒中心
but most of all... A college bar? Oh,man.
但是你们最不想去的地方应该是 大学酒吧? 有没有搞错
We're probably going to run into my students.
我们可能会遇上我的学生
They're going to corner me and want a free lecture.
他们会围上来 让我给他们免费讲一课
I don't even have my slide projector. Damn it.
我都没带幻灯机 他妈的
Ted,I've been Skee-Ball champ here since law school.
Ted我上法学院开始 就是这里的滑雪球冠军
I have to pop in at least once a month to maintain my record.
我必须一个月至少来一次 来保持我的记录
Whoa. Looks like you've been gone a while.
哇 看起来你好久没来了
Some guy named Big Fudge has been cleaning up.
这个叫大软糖的人已经接你的班了
Yeah,he has.
是啊
- And you're Big Fudge. - The biggest.
- 你是大软糖? - 正是在下
- Um,so by the way,I-I have to tell you something. - Yeah.
- 另外我有事要告诉你 - 啥事
I,uh... invited Jenkins.
我邀请了Jenkins
Jenkins? No way!
Jenkins?不会吧?
We'd all started hearing about Jenkins a few weeks earlier.
我们几个星期之前 就已经开始听说Jenkins了
You guys will not believe what Jenkins did this time.
你们肯定不会相信 这次Jenkins做了什么
Who's Jenkins?
谁是Jenkins?
Oh,he's this hilarious new lawyer at Marshall's office.
他是Marshall办公室新来的 超级搞笑的律师
Hilarious.
超级搞笑
Okay,so there's this jar of Maraschino cherries in the fridge at work.
好吧 今天办公室冰箱里 有一瓶黑樱桃果酱
So,Jenkins says,"200 bucks,I'll eat the whole jar.
Jenkins说 给我200块钱 我就整瓶吃掉
" So,we give Jenkins 200 bucks...
然后我们给了Jenkins200块钱
...and Jenkins ate the whole jar!
Jenkins整瓶吃掉了
Jenkins.
Jenkins
And after that,the stories kept coming.
这之后 故事持续不断
So,the CFO comes in to sign some acquisition papers.
财务总监进来签署收♥购♥文件
So,Jenkins goes,"Excuse me,Mr. Wilcox.
Jenkins就说 不好意思 Wilcox先生
I think we forgot one of the documents.
我们忘了一份文件
" Jenkins!
Jenkins
So,we all go out for beers after work.
我们下了班去喝啤酒
Jenkins gets up on the bar and starts gyrating
Jenkins爬上桌子开始扭
like some sort of deranged stripper.
跟个发疯的脱衣舞♥女♥似的
Next thing you know,off comes the shirt!
还没等你反应过来 衬衫已经脱下来了
It was so gross.
太恶心了
Jenkins.
Jenkins
Right?
是吧
Well,it'll be great to finally meet the famous Jenkins
听到这些故事以后能亲眼见到
after all those stories.
这位著名的Jenkins真是太好了
Yeah. And there's about to be one more story.
是啊 接下来还有个故事
I'm going to bang Jenkins.
我要上Jenkins
- What? - You heard me.
- 什么? - 我说真的
You-you want to have sex with Jenkins?
你想和Jenkins发生性关系?
With Jenkins,on Jenkins,near Jenkins. You name it.
上♥床♥ 睡觉 性关系 随便你怎么说吧
I want to wear Jenkins like a sock.
我想和Jenkins爽个透
You... but you're...
但是你...你是...
Haven't you...
你不是...
I'm... Really?
我...你说真的?
Hey,guys.
各位好
Ted,this is Jenkins.
Ted 这是Jenkins
Okay,this is going to sound crazy,but I thought Jenkins was a guy.
可能会听起来有点疯狂 我以为Jenkins是个男的
What? That's crazy! What gave you that idea?
什么? 你疯了 你为什么会这么以为
Oh,I don't know. Maybe the whole "Jenkins peed out the window of a cab" story.
我不知道 可能是那个"Jenkins 从出租车窗口往外尿尿"的故事
Yeah. Much more impressive now,isn't it?
是啊 现在觉得很惊人了吧
Yeah.
是啊
Okay,I'll come clean!
好吧 我坦白
It all started a few weeks ago.
都是几个星期前开始的
By the way,Four Eyes,new lawyer. This is Jenkins.
另外 四眼儿 新来了个律师 这是Jenkins
Watch out for this guy. He steals stuff.
小心这个家伙 他偷东西
I don't steal stuff.
我不偷东西
And I don't wear glasses.
我也不戴眼镜
- I'm Marshall. - Hi,Marshall.
- 我是Marshall. - 嗨 Marshall.
So,are you really a Vikings fan or was he lying about that,too?
你真的是维京人队的粉丝 还是他又是在撒谎?
Why? Is this a trap? Are you a Packers fan?
为什么?是个陷阱吗? 你是包装工队的粉丝吗?
My wife knows I'm here.
我老婆知道我在这里
She doesn't have money,but what she does have
她虽然没有钱 但是她却
is a very special set of skills.
拥有一系列特殊技能
I'm a Vikings fan,too!
我也是维京人队的粉丝
I bleed purple and gold. I'm from Pelican Rapids.
我超爱紫色和金色的(维京队徽颜色) 我来自Pelican Rapids
- Pelican Rapids? No way. - Yeah.
- Pelican Rapids? 不是吧 - 是
My grandpa lives in Pelican Rapids.
我爷爷住在Pelican Rapids
Well,I mean,he's dead now,but he haunts a barn off Route 108.
他现在已经死了 但是他的魂儿经常 游荡在108公路上的一个谷仓附近
Whoa! Hold it,hold it.
哇哦 等一下 等一下
Dude,if you tell me you have a thing for a woman that is not your wife,
伙计 你要是敢说你对一个 不是你妻子的女人有感觉
I will drag you outside and kick your ass.
我就把你拖出去痛打你一顿
Okay,first of all...
好了 首先
come on,buddy. You can't handle the Fudge.
伙计 你根本对付不了大软糖
Second of all,no. I think of her like a... a big brother.
其次 我只是把她当成一个哥们看待
Who,I guess,has boobs.
一个有胸脯的哥哥
But so does my oldest brother,Marvin Jr.
但是我大哥也有胸 Marvin Jr.
Anyway,that night,I told Lily about it.
总之 那天晚上 我告诉Lily
Jenkins.
Jenkins
I can't wait to meet him.
我真想见见他
I should have corrected her.
我当时应该纠正她
It would have been so easy.
当时应该很容易
But I didn't,so,after that,
但是我没有 从那以后
whenever I talked about Jenkins,I always avoided pronouns.
每次我说到Jenkins 我总是避免用人称代词
So,the head of marketing comes in to choose people for the Midwest audit.
市场部的头头过来选人 做中西部的审计
So,he goes,"Him,him,her,"him,him...
他说 他 他 她 他 他
Jenkins,him,her.
Jenkins 他 她
" Look,I don't understand why you wouldn't just tell Lily.
听着 我不明白 你为什么不直接告诉Lily
Do you really think she'd be all that jealous?
你真的认为她会嫉妒
Ted,think about those stories I told you.
Ted想一想我告诉你的那些故事
Yeah,I could see how that'd be a problem.
是啊 我明白为什么会有问题了
Exactly. That's why Lily can't find out.
就是 这就是为什么不能让Lily知道
Lily can't find out what?
不能让Lily知道什么
That Marshall's going to buy her a horse.
Marshall要给她买♥♥匹马
You are? That is so awesome! I love those things.
真的?太好了 我超爱马的
Hey,guys,why... why is that kid over there staring at me?
各位 为什么那边有个孩子一直盯着我
I think I know what this is.
我想我知道原因了
I think it has finally happened.
我想这件事终于发生了
I'm getting recognized from my show.
人们看了我的节目开始认出我来了
Oh,Robin,that is so cute.
哦 Robin 太好了
But that's Scotty. He's one of my students,and he's looking at me.
不过那是Scotty 他是我的学生 他是在看我
How weird is it that I'm more famous than you?
多奇怪啊 我比你出名
Not at all,'cause you're not. I'm on TV.
一点也不奇怪 因为你不我出名 我出现在电视上
Yeah,and I have 30 students in my class.
是啊 我班上有30个学生
That's what,30 times your viewership?
是你的观众数量的三十倍
Now,this will give Scotty a little thrill--
我们来让Scotty小小激动一下吧
buying a drink for the old prof.
来给教授敬杯酒
All right,Scotter,one question about neoclassical architecture, and that is it.
好吧 Scotty 只许问一个关于古典建筑的问题
You're Robin Scherbatsky,right?
你是Robin Scherbatsky 对吧?
- What? - Yes,I am.
- 什么? - 我是
Wow. Look,I-I didn't mean to stare.
哇 我不是故意要盯着你
It's just,I watch your show all the time.
我一直看你的节目
- Really? - Really?
- 真的? - 真的?
Totally.
千真万确
What are you doing out with Ted?
你怎么和Ted在一起
- Uh,it's Professor Mosby. - We're friends.
- 我是Mosby教授 - 我们是朋友
Holy crap!
我靠来
Robin Scherbatsky is friends with my econ professor.
Robin Scherbatsky和我的 经济学教授是朋友
It's architecture! All right,you know what,Scotty? You're crowding us. Hit the bricks.
是建筑学 好了 Scotty 别来烦我们了 哪凉快去哪儿吧
Wait a minute. You're Big Fudge.
等一下 你是大软糖
Go!
快滚
- Hello? - Hey,baby,I'm on my way up.
- 你好? - 嘿 宝贝 我在来你这里的路上
What? Why?
什么? 为什么?
There was a measles outbreak at school,and they called a half day.
学校里爆发麻疹 然后他们放了半天假
S Thought I'd come by here,have lunch,maybe give you the measles.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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