老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E20
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:08 a.m.
我是个建筑师 我能想出办法来的
And if I start right now,it'll be done by the time
如果现在就开始 等我妻子和我
the ol' wifey and I are ready to move in.
准备搬进来的时候就会完成了
Is she in the room with us right now, Ted?
她现在是和我们在一起吗 Ted?
Okay, okay, I know I haven't found Mrs. Mosby yet,
好的 好的 我知道我还没有找到Mosby太太
but I will, knock on wood.
但我会成功的 上帝保佑哦
Careful, buddy.
小心点 哥们儿
Ted, you can't just skip ahead to where you think your life should be.
Ted 你不能就这么直接跳过去 决定你的人生将在哪里展开
- It doesn't work that way. - Yeah, I've got to agree.
- 人生不是这样的 - 是啊 我也不得不同意
This may be the stupidest thing you've ever done.
这是你做过的最愚蠢的事了
Stupidest thing any of us has ever done.
是我们所有人做过的最愚蠢的事了
Okay, all right.Let's lay off Ted, all right? Thank you.
好了 我们就放过Ted吧 好吧? 拜托
We've all done some stupid things in our lives.
我们都做过愚蠢的事
For example, I remember a time when I dropped some bottle rockets in the toilet,
比如 我记得有一次 我掉了几个瓶装火箭到厕所里
and I tried to dry them off in the microwave.
而我想要用微波炉烘干♥他♥们
God, you must have been drunk off your ass.
天 你一定是醉倒家了
No, too stupid to be an adult.
不 太傻了 不可能是一个成人做的
He was obviously a kid when it happened.
显然那时候他还是个孩子
A kid? How does a kid even get...
孩子? 一个孩子怎么可能...
Oh, my God. Guys!
哦 我的天 伙计们!
Great new game:
新游戏:
"Drunk or Kid" Which one was I?
"是醉了还是是个孩子" 到底是哪个?
Lock in your guesses.
仔细想想吧
Drunk. Drunk. Kid.
醉了 醉了 孩子
Kid. Drumroll, please.
孩子 请击鼓
I was...
我...
***
醉了
You know,I'm glad Robin got it right.
知道吗 我很高兴Robin猜对了
'Cause she's very sensitive and fragile.
因为她非常的敏感脆弱
I'm referencing the time she cried at Clint's song.
想想那次她因为 Clint的歌♥而哭的时候吧
And even though I'm whispering, I actually hope she hears me.
尽管我是在轻声说 事实上我希望她能听见
It wasn't me! What?
- 不是我! - 什么?
I'm not the one who cried at Clint's song.
听完Clint的歌♥哭的人不是我
* Red and true... *
* 红色 且真是...*
Are you crying?
你在哭?
- I know it's stupid, but... - Everyone!* And the dragon... *
- 我知道这很傻 但是... - 大家一起来!* 还有龙...*
They're just happy, you know?
他们真快乐 明白吗?
Not as happy as I am.
没我来的快乐
I will give you $500 if this just happened to you instead of me.
如果你说是你哭了 而不是我的话 我就给你500美元
500 bucks? Deal.
500? 成交
Thank you, Robin.
谢谢你 Robin
You just saved me unspeakable public humiliation and shame.
你刚刚将我从无法言传的 耻辱和羞愧中解救了出来
Guys! Guys! Guess what Robin just did.
伙计们! 伙计们! 你们猜刚刚Robin做了什么
Wait, you guys are...
等等 你们...
Hi, I'm here for the inspection.
嗨 我是来检查的
Oh, great! I was worried you weren't coming.
哦 太好了! 我还担心你不来呢
I was actually here a few minutes ago, but I guess the doorbell doesn't work.
事实上几分钟前我就到了 但是我猜门铃坏了
Hmm. Oh, hey!
哦 嘿!
Doorbell does not work.
门铃坏了
Wait, wait... you're just getting this place inspected now?
等等...你现在才检查屋子?
Well, yeah.
是啊
Okay! All right!Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
好了! 嘿! 嘿!
All right, let's all remember that we've all done
好了 记住 我们都做过
some stupid things in our lives, okay?
一些蠢事 好吗?
For example, I once tried to ride my bike down
比如 我曾经想要用自行车
an extension ladder from the roof of a two-story house.
通过伸缩梯从一栋 两层楼高的房♥子上骑下来
The only looming question is was I drunk or a kid?
唯一的问题就是 我是醉了还是我还是个孩子?
Drunk! Kid! Kid! Drunk!
醉了! 孩子! 孩子！醉了!
Drumroll, please.
请击鼓
I was...
我...
Marshall's dead!
Marshall死了!
***
是个孩子
Moms, right?
妈妈就是这样 是吧?
Just always making a big deal out of nothing.
总是喜欢大惊小怪
I came out of that coma in under a week.
我一周内就醒过来了
Let's check out the porch, huh?Come on.
我们去看看门廊吧 哈? 来
I'm going to put a grill out here.Every Sunday, right here,
我要在这儿放个烤架 每个周日都进行烧烤 就在这儿
it's going to be a total sausage fest.
那会是一场香肠盛宴
Hmm... Sausage party?
呃...香肠派对?
Burgers, we'll do burgers.
汉堡好了 汉堡派对
Ted, stop it.
Ted 别说了
You can't keep this house.It's a huge mistake.
你不能留着这个房♥子 这是个错误
Lily, listen to me.
Lily 听我说
I had a plan, okay? Wife, house, kids.
我的人生计划里有妻子 房♥子 孩子
As it turns out, the universe is being kind of a wad about the whole wife and kids part.
但是目前来看 妻子和孩子那部分还没个着落
So, what's the one thing I can control?
所以我唯一能控制的是什么?
The house. I bought it.
只有这栋房♥子 所以我买♥♥下来了
It's not a huge mistake.
这不是一个大错误
Exactly. Now, me driving my brother's car the wrong way down I-94,
没错 我开着我哥哥的车 在I-94公路上逆向行驶
that was a huge mistake.
那才是个大错误
Drunk! Kid! Kid! Kid!
喝醉了! 小孩子!
I was...
我那时候是...
KID
小孩子
Yes!
太棒了!
Wow, Barney.
哇 Barney
Did you cry on that guy or something?
你把眼泪撒到人家身上了么?
You got leaky pipes.
这里水管是漏的
But the bright side:
不过好处是
the pond in your basement is drowning some of the larger, slower rats.
地下室里的池子里淹死了一些 身体肥硕 行动迟缓的老鼠
The rest of them, well... they're headed this way.
其他的老鼠...都朝这边跑过来了
See? You should have waited to find out the problems with this house.
看见没? 你应该等到检查出所有毛病之后再买♥♥的
You can always find problems with any decision,
一切决定都会有各种各样的问题
but you can't let that stop you.
但是这不能阻止我们做出决定
Freshman year, Marshall knew right away he wanted to spend his life with you.
早在大一的时候 Marshall就知道他要和你共度余生
What if someone had been there to second-guess that decision?
如果那时候有个人过来劝他会怎么样?
Bye.
再见
I know we've only been on two dates,
我知道我们才约会了两次
but damn it, Lily Aldrin, I'm, I'm going to marry you.
但是管他呢 Lily Aldrin 我要跟你结婚
Not so fast.
先别忙
We got some structural issues here.
有些生理结构问题不容忽视
These hips are not Eriksen baby-compliant.
这屁♥股♥生不出Eriksen家的孩子 (Marshall家的孩子都是巨人)
And this thing right here does not have a proper filter.
这张脸蛋也不够标致
That's a maintenance issue that's never going to go away.
维修工作可是一辈子的事
And I know you think that you like this Gothic exterior now,
我知道你现在喜欢她的哥特打扮
but deep down didn't you always picture yourself in something Spanish?
不过在你内心深处 难道不是一直钟情于拉丁风格吗?
I'd recommend you look into the rental option.
我建议你再仔细筛选一番
But Marshall took that leap of faith,
但是Marshall始终坚持信念
and it's the best thing that ever happened to you both.
才有你们俩今天的幸福美满
It was Robin!
是Robin!
"What?!"
"什么?!"
Yes, it was Robin who cried at Clint's song!
没错 被Clint的歌♥感动得哭的人是Robin!
"But she said... " I know what she said.
"可她说... " 我知道她是怎么说的
But here's what she didn't want you to know.
但这是她不想让你们知道的
****
十分钟前
Listen, Barney,
听着 Barney
I can't stand all these jokes about me crying.
我实在受不了你老是笑话我哭了
If I pretend to reveal that you were the one who cried, will you go along with it?
如果我假装告诉他们哭的人是你 你能同意吗?
Sure.
当然
I made a mistake letting you go, didn't I?
让你离开我真是个大错误 不是吗?
Your penis is enormous.
你床上功夫太棒了
Dude, you almost had us.
好家伙 差点就被你骗了
You always take it one too far.
你总是言过其实
Damn it!
见鬼
All right, good news.
好消息
- Think we'll be out of here early. - Really?
- 我们能早点检查完走人了 - 真的吗?
Yep, I finished downstairs and the outside.
是的 我检查了楼下和外面
Now, I could keep looking and see what else I can find
现在 我再来继续看看有没有其他问题
besides the black mold, the damaged retaining wall,
除了有黑斑 破挡墙
the frayed electrical wires, the lead paint, the water damage,
电线磨损 铅涂料过多 水渍
the fire damage, the sun damage, the broken furnace, the rotted floorboards...
被火烧过 被暴晒过 坏火炉 烂地板...
Hey, look at that... no termites.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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