老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E01
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:03 a.m.
我刚想到一个好理由了
***nht,Robin and Brad went to a hockey game.
第二天晚上 Robin和Brad去看冰球
You're probably wondering why I've been quiet all night.
你也许很奇怪我怎么整晚都很沉默
Damn it,Hordichuk!You miss another gimme like that,
(30秒前) 该死 Hordichuk!你要再射门失误一次
I'm gonna come down there and put a slapper right up ur beerhole! Come on!
我就跳下去狠狠爆♥你♥菊♥花! 快加油!
Not really.
没觉得啊
The truth is, I-I feel kind of weird being out with you.
实际上 我跟你一起出来感觉怪怪的
Oh,man. Is this the talk?
噢 我们是不是要谈谈?
- What? - No,this is od.
- 什么? - 没事 这样挺好
Let's get it all out of the way.
先把问题给解决了
Robin,I'm looking for something serious.
Robin 我想要一段认真的关系
No,Brad,no,it's...
不 Brad 不是..
But before we go any further, you should know something about my stuff below the belt.
但我们更进一步之前 你得先了解我腰带以下的一些隐秘
I was born a little different.
我天生跟别人有点不一样
God,no,uh, Brad,no,um...
老天 不 Brad 不是...
- This iabout me and Barney. - You and Barn...
- 是因为我和Barney - 你和Barney...
Oh,oh,so you, you guys are...
噢噢 所以你们俩...
Well,we-we-we don't know what we are. I mean,my heart says "leap into it."
呃 我们并不清楚我们俩算什么 我的心迫不及待要跟他在一起
My brain says "it's a bad idea."
但我的脑子说"这是个坏主意"
Sounds like you guys need to have the talk.
看来你们俩才该好好谈谈
We're not gonna have the talk!
我们才不要谈!
Would you just have the talk,okay?
你们就谈谈不行么?
It's a five-minute conversation, and then you get to have sex afterwards. It's great!
五分钟了事 然后你们就可以滚床单了 多好啊
Back me up,Ted.
帮帮我 Ted
- I don't think the talk is necessary. - What?
- 我觉得没必要谈 - 啥?
Thank you,Ted.
谢了 Ted
- Because Robin is already his girlfriend. - What?
- 因为Robin已经是他女朋友了 - 什么?
MacLaren's Bar, four years ago...
四年前 MacLaren酒吧里...
How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfrien Simple:
如何不让姑娘们变成你的女朋友 简单:
the rules for girls are the same as the rulesfor gremlin "Gremlins"?
对付姑娘们的法子 和对付小鬼的法子一样
Gremlins.
小鬼
*******never get them wet.
第一条 永远别让他们湿身
In otherords,don't let her take a shower at your place.
换句话说 别让她在你家里洗澡
******keep them away from sunlight--
第二条 别让他们见阳光--
i.e.don't ever see them during the day.
也就是说白天不要跟她们见面
And rule # never feed them after midnight.
第三条 午夜之后千万别喂食
Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her ever.
也就是说 她不能留宿 永远不要跟她们一起吃早餐
What about brunch? Is brunch cool?
那早午餐呢? 早午餐没问题吧?
No,Ted. unch is not cool.
不 Ted 早午餐很有问题
Ok,new topic. How do I pick a tie?
好 新话题 我如何挑选领带?
mple: remember in the movie Predator...
简单: 记得终极战士那电影吗...
I've done all three of those things with Robin.
这三件事我都跟Robin做过
Is she my girlfriend?
她真是我女朋友了?
Just once,wish you guys would call me on Tuxedo Night.
我只想说 真希望你们俩 燕尾服之夜时会叫上我
Ladies and gentlemen, time to pucker up for the New York Rangers Kiss Cam!
女士们先生们 又到了纽约游骑兵队屏幕热吻时间!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
快亲! 快亲! 快亲!
Okayhow about this?
这么办怎么样?
If you kiss me and you feel bad about it, you're meant to be with Barney.
如果你亲了我 然后心存不安 那你就应该跟Barney在一起
Why not? Lay it on me.
为什么不? 来吧
Kiss!
快亲!
Kiss!
快亲!
Hey,Bd.
嘿 Brad
Brad,we can't fight like this all night!
Brad 我们不能这么一直打下去!
We both got some good shots in. Let's call a truce!
我们各有胜负 让我们休战吧!
It's oy,dude.
没事的 伙计
I shouldn't go kissing some other guy's girlfriend.
是我不应该亲吻别人的女朋友
Whoa,whoa,whoa, whoa,girlfriend? He come on.
喔喔喔 什么女朋友呀? 得了吧
- That's putting it a bit strongly. - A bit strongly. She's no *******
- 你这就言重了 - 言重咯 她才不是我的女朋友
A gifriend's a bit much,Brad,okay?
说是女朋友就太过啦 Brad 对吧?
Okay,seriously. We're at the point of physical violence.
好吧 说真的 都演变成暴♥力♥事件啦
Now,will you ease have the talk?
这下 你们该好好谈谈了吧?
Because of that? Come on. That's thing.
就为了这个? 拜托哦 打架是家常便饭呀
I'm always punching guys.
我一直打人的
Girls-- I'll punch a baby. I don't care.
还是打女人吧 随便了 打小孩也无所谓
Finally,my first clas had arrived. For real this time.
终于 我开始了我的第一堂课 这次是真的了
I knew I had to make a strong iression.
我明白我得留下个好印象
I had thought of everything. Except...
我已经考虑周详 除了...
Wait. Does professor have one "F" or two? Oh,my God. Oh,my God.
等下 教授该怎么拼啊? 一个F还是两个? 苍天啊苍天
Professor. Pro-fess-or. They're all starg at me.
教授...教授 他们都盯着我
Professor. Uh,I don't know. Ju do something!
教授 嗯 我不知道 随便了!
Two "F's." That looks right. I think that's right.
两个F 看上去蛮对的 我觉得蛮对的
Hey,sorry I went little too far last night.
对不起哦 我昨晚做的太过了
Oh,look,we've been over this. Unless I say "fl gelhorn," you haven't gone too far.
听着 我们都明白的 除非我说"夫吕号♥" 你都没做错啥 （夫吕号♥:一种乐器）
No,meant punching Brad.
不是的 我是说打Brad的事
Oh,right. Look, don't even worry about it. It's...
没事的 听着 根本不用担心这个 这是...
God. The doorknob's broken off. We're locked in here.
天哪 门栓掉下来了 我们被锁在里面了
Did,did you do this?
是 是你干的么?
- No. - Fl gelhorn. Did you do this?
- 不是 - 夫吕号♥ 是你干的不?
No.
不是
Ted? Ted,are you out there?
Ted? Ted 是你在外面吗?
Ted's not here,Robin.
Ted不在 Robin
Lily,let us out of here.
Lily 放我们出去
I'd be glad to.
我很乐意这样做
Just as soon as you and Barney have the talk.
只要你和Barney肯谈谈
Lily! Co on. Let us out!
Lily! 拜托了 让我们出去!
No. Sit down, define the relationship, write down that definition on a piece of paper,
不行 你们给我坐下 界定你们的关系 然后把这个定义写在纸上
slip it under the door, and if I like what I read, you can go.
从门缝里送出来 如果我满意了 你们就可以出来了
We are not having the talk!
我们才不要谈!
Then you'll die in there.
那你们就老死在里面吧
You're gonna lock us in here? Well,guess what?
你想把我们锁在这里? 你猜怎么着?
Maybe we'll spend the whole day having sex!
我们就嘿♥咻♥一天!
Well,guess at?
你猜怎么着?
I brought Marshall with me, so maybe we'll do the same.
我把Marshall也带来了 我们也能如法炮制
Hey,guys.
你们好
I stilhadn't decided what kind of professor I wanted to be-- authoritative or cool guy.
我依然无法决定我要成为怎样的教授 威严的或是酷酷的
I thought I would decide in the moment.
我以为我马上就能决定
**********
而事实上 我决定了大概20多次
Goodorning. 'Sup,dudes? Silence!
早上好 怎么样啊 伙计们? 给我安静!
This is Architecture 101. I am Professor Mosby.
这是建筑学101课 我是Mosby教授
But you can call me Ted.
你也可以叫我Ted
Professor Mosby. T-Dawg.
还是Mosby教授吧 或者是小白脸
Do not call me T-Dawg.
不许叫我小白脸!
Ner take questions on the first day. It shows weakness.
第一天不能回答问题 这只能表现你的软弱无能
Also, don't look right here.
也不要盯着这里看
Okay,good luck. Byesies.
好运哦 我闪了
This was it: my crossroads moment.
终于来了 我做抉择的时刻到了
What kind of professor was I gonna be I had to decide.
我到底要成为怎样的教授 我必须决定了
Please save all your qstions until the end of the lecture. Thank you! Now...
等课结束再问问题吧 谢谢咯! 现在...
Professor Mosby d arrived.
Mosby教授诞生了
Of course,if I had taken that girl's question--
当然 如果我让那个女孩问问题的话
who,by the way,was not your mo Your mom was sitting...
说一下 她不是你们的妈妈 你们的妈妈坐在...
Wait,let me finish this story al quick.
算了 还是让我快点讲完吧
Here's what that girl wod have said.
以下是这个女孩本来要说的话
I'm sorry to bother you,Professor Mo but this isn't Architecture 101.
不好意思 Mosby教授 但这不是建筑学101
This is Economics 305.
这里是经济学305
You're in the wrong classroom.
你走错教室了哦
Yes,I was in the wrong classroom.
没错 我走错教室了
And thus began the most humiliating ven minutesof my life.
于是我人生中的黑色七分钟开始了
Here's your ink-about-it for the day.
你们应该好好想想
Every single person in this room is already an architect.
每个在这个教室里的人 都已经是一个建筑师
Architt?
建筑师?
"We're just hanging out."
"我们只是一起玩玩"
Just hanging out?
一起玩玩?
- Not good enough. - Not good enough!
- 不怎么样 - 不怎么样!
Can anyone here tell me what this class is really all about?
有没有人能够告诉我 这堂课的主旨究竟是什么?
Economics?
经济?
No. No,no. Don't ugh. He's not... He's not entirely wrong.
不不不 不要笑 他... 他也不算完全错
An architect must be economical in his use of space,
建筑师必须经济合理地运用空间
so,well done.
说的不错
Looks like somne's building towards an A,huh?
看来有人可以得A咯?
"We're seeing where things are going."
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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