老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E18
Part 3
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:08 a.m.
为什么这些聚会不可以只有我们?
Like the time we celebrated Marshall passing the bar exam.
就像Marshall通过律师考试那次
Hey. Hey,guys.
嘿 伙计们
This is the disgusting,smelly hippie I'm dating.
这就是那个我在交往的 讨厌的 臭臭的小妞
I did not say that!
我没那样说!
Well,you might as well have.
你还不如这样说
Hey,guys. This is Strawberry.
嘿 伙计们 这是草莓
Um,should we order more food?
我们还要再点一些吗?
Oh,no. Uh,Strawberry's not eating.
不用 草莓不吃
I'm a vegetarian.
我是吃素的
Okay. Well,let's all raise a glass.
好 让我们举杯
For the last three years,Marshall has been working so hard,
过去的三年 Marshall非常努力
and I am so proud of you.
我为你骄傲
Meat is murder! Murder!
吃肉的都是凶手! 凶手!
Okay,I admit it. Strawberry was a mistake.
我承认草莓是个错误
But how could I have known that going in?
但我怎么可能知道会有这种事?
Her name was Strawberry.
因为她叫草莓
Look,if it's such a big deal,Amanda doesn't have to be in the group photo.
听着 如果真的这么介意 Amanda 不一定要一起拍集体照
But I promise she's not gonna ruin your birthday.
但我保证她不会毁了你的生日
Just-Just give her a chance.
只要... 只要给她一次机会
See,look,guys. We're all friends again!
看 伙计们 我们又和好了!
Now let's work on those harmonies.
现在我们要排一下和声
Happy happy Lily day!
Lily生日真快乐真快乐!
Happy happy Lily day...
Lily生日真快乐真快乐!...
All done.
做好了
I hope you like it.
希望你能喜欢
"Happy 42nd birthday,Lori.
"42岁生日快乐 Lori"
" Kids,you know how I've told you about Lily's "you're dead to me" look-
孩子们 我有没有跟你们说过 Lily这副"你死定了"的表情"
that expression she gets just before she explodes in white-hot rage?
是她怒发冲冠之前的征兆吗?
Well,this wasn't it.
这个并不是
But this was Marshall's.
但是Marshall这个是
"42nd"?
"42岁"?
Does this hot piece of ass look 42 to you?
你看这个性感小妞像42岁吗?
Or! Or does she look like her name is Lori? !
还是! 还是她看起来就得叫Lori?!
No,Marshall,it's okay.
算了 Marshall 没关系
No,Lily,it's not okay. Ted,get this stranger out of my house!
不行 Lily 有关系 Ted 让这个陌生人从我家出去!
I am so sorry.
我很抱歉
Out!
出去!
Happy,happy Lily day Happy,happy Lily day.
Lily生日真快乐哟 Lily生日真快乐哟 (小Barney 我爱你啊 你太cute了)
Well... Amanda refused to come back.
... Amanda不肯回来
She thinks you guys hate her.
她觉得你们讨厌她
Marshall,you have to go apologize.
Marshall 你得去道歉
You ruin Lily's birthday and you want me to apologize?
你把Lily的生日搞砸了 要我道歉?
If anything,you should apologize to me.
说起来 你应该跟我道歉
What are you talking about?
你说什么?
Ted,you bring girls to these intimate events
Ted 你把姑娘带来参加 密友的聚会
and it makes them think that things are really serious.
让她们觉得你很认真
And then when you break up with them,you know who they turn to? Me.
然后你跟她们分手 你知道她们找上谁吗? 找上我
I've been your girlfriend cleanup crew for yea.
我当了你多少年女友抚慰专员
February,2005.
2005年 2月
I had just come back from a marathon study session at the law library.
我在法律图书馆漫长的课 刚结束回来
Hey. Hey,Natalie,where's,uh,where's Ted?
嘿 Natalie Ted在哪儿?
We broke up... again!
我们... 又分手了!
Won't you sit with me for a little while? Just sit?
你能不能坐这儿陪我一会? 坐着就好?
Man,you know what? I've been up for,like,36 hours.
大小姐 你要知道 我大概有 36个小时没睡过了
Just for a few minutes.
就几分钟
And at first,I was completely sympathetic.
一开始 我很有同情心
But damn it,Ted,over the years,you made me cynical.
不过Ted 他妈的搞了这么多年 你把我逼得铁石心肠了
You know what? I'm going to go get us some Rocky Road,
我去搞点石板街蛋糕过来
and we're just going to sit here and talk it out until it makes sense.
我们就坐在这儿 陪聊到你想通为止
I just thought we had something so special,you know?
我以为我们有特别之处 你知道吗?
Me,too. Yeah.
我理解 嗯
But,you know,life goes on,sweetheart.
但是 你知道 生活还得继续 亲爱的
I don't know how I'm going to put my life back together after this.
我不知道分了手我要怎么过下去
Oh,shut up.
哦 闭嘴
Well,I'm sorry my search for true love
很抱歉因为我寻找真爱之旅
has been such an inconvenience to you guys.
给你们添了这么多麻烦
You know what? Maybe your precious pictures
要知道 说不定你那些珍贵的照片
would look a lot better if I wasn't in them.
少了我会更好
They'd look a lot better if Marshall weren't in them.
如果少了Marshall会更好
Cheap shot,bro. Cheap shot.
贱招儿 贱招儿
You know what these pictures are,Lily?
你知道这些照片是什么吗 Lily?
They're a big,fat lie. They're posed. They're touched up.
是彻彻底底的谎言 都是做出来的 都做过手脚
They're what you want our life to be,not what it is.
是你期望中的生活 而不是真实的情况
- That's not true! - Oh,yeah?
- 乱讲! - 是吗?
Okay. Look at this one. Halloween,two years ago.
看这张 两年前万圣节前夜
You and Marshall got in a huge fight
你和Marshall大吵一架
because you didn't want to dress up as penguins.
因为你不想穿成企鹅
No,no-no,it's not just that she didn't want to.
不是 不是 不是她不想穿
It's that she called penguins "lame. " Penguins.
是她觉得企鹅是很傻的 企鹅
And yet,here you are,smiling like nothing's wrong - completely phony.
但是你还笑得像什么事都没有一样 太假了
Robin's birthday,three years ago.
三年前 Robin生日
Robin had a cold and you made her change
Robin感冒了 你逼她把睡衣换了
out of her pajama's for the picture.
拍照片
And then you pinched my cheeks really hard to get some color in them.
你还使劲捏我的脸 搞点血色出来
Yeah,but you look pretty.
是的 但是看上去美美的
And then,we all ate chocolate cake in my bed.
后来大家在我的床上吃巧克力蛋糕
- Actually,that was a really nice night. - Yeah,it was.
- 其实那天晚上很开心 - 嗯 确实
Yeah,I guess it was.
是啊 是的 (友谊万岁)
Hey,look at this one.
看这张
This is the first picture the three of us ever took together.
这是我们三个一起拍的第一张照片
That's right. It was.
对哦 是的耶
Yeah,you remember how it happened?
嗯 你记得当时什么情况吗?
Okay,ready?
好 准备好了吗?
Wait,wait,wait. What pose should we do? Buddy cop picture?
等等 等等 我们拗什么造型? 警探拍档剧照?
Oh,no,no-no! What about,um,'80s sitcom about two roommates who never agree on anything?
不 不要 不要! 80年代拍那个两个 总是对着干的室友的肥皂剧呢?
Nice. Okay,one,two...
不错 好 一 二...
Hi,Marshall. Ready for the movie?
嗨 Marshall 准备好去看电影了吗?
Um,yeah. Just a second though,okay? We're about to make history.
去啊 就等一会儿 好吗? 我们要记录历史性的一刻
We're about to take our first ever roommate picture.
我们要拍第一张室友合照
Yeah. Hey,why don't you get in the picture,too?
对 要不你也一起来拍吧?
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的? - 真的
What are you doing,Ted? What if we break up?
你干什么 Ted? 要是我们分手了怎么办?
What if you don't?
要是不分手呢?
Come on. Come on.
来吧 来吧
I forgot all about that.
我都快忘了
Marshall and I had just been dating a few weeks
Marshall和我刚交往几个星期
and you invited me into the picture.
你请我一起拍照片
I liked you.
我喜欢你嘛
- We have to get Amanda back. - Really?
- 我们得叫Amanda回来 - 真的?
Ted,you believed in me. It's my turn to believe in you.
Ted 你相信我 这次轮到我相信你了
For all I know,she's the one.
我知道她一定能成
Thanks,Lil.
谢谢 Lily
I think Lori's age has made her very wise.
我觉得Lori的年纪让她长不少脑子
They say your forties are when you really get to know yourself.
他们说40岁的时候 你才能真正了解自己
So,your Aunt Lily called Amanda.
所以Lily阿姨把Amanda叫回来
All right,people,gather around. Let's make a memory.
好了 大家凑紧点 我们留个念
Okay,Marshall - Marshall,try this.
Marshall Marshall 试试看这招
Keep your eyes closed until the last second,
闭上眼睛 一直到最后一秒
- and when I say so,open them. - Okay.
- 我说睁开 你再睁开 - 好
Hey,Barney,is that a hole in your suit jacket?
Barney 你的外套上是不是有个洞?
What? Where?
什么? 哪儿?
Now,Marshall!
就现在 Marshall!
Damn it!
该死!
Ted,name that bitch.
Ted 这婊♥子♥叫什么
Birth... a? Bertha?
生...? Bertha?
No,it was my birthday.
不对 你是想说生日
Your brain makes associations in a very obvious way.
你脑子的联想模式太简单了
All right,people. Gather around. Let's make a memory.
好了 大家凑一起 我们留个念
Hey,Robin,what's in this dip you made? 'Cause it tastes like...
那个 Robin 你在蘸酱里放了什么? 我尝出...
cilantro.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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