老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E11
Part 2
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:05 a.m.
五 四 ...
Well,let's do a great show for that half-drunk slob.
那我们就为了那些醉汉做好节目吧
Well,that half-drunk slob appreciates it.
醉汉会感激你的
The next day,Marshall found himself craving a cigarette.
第二天Marshall发现自己烟瘾犯了
It was driving him crazy,so he decided to get some fresh air.
让他很难受 所以他决定上天台透透气
Oh,no. You're not up here to jump,are you?
不是吧 你不是上来跳楼的吧?
- No,no,no,no. - I fired a lot of people today.
- 不 不是 - 我今天炒了不少人
I don't need another jumper in my file.
我可不想档案里再加个再次害人跳楼了
Oh,uh,cigarette?
来一根?
No,no,thank you.
不了 谢谢
That's too bad.
真可惜
You know what I miss,Jeffrey?
真怀念以前 知道是什么吗? Jeffrey
Getting to know somebody over a smoke.
从吸烟打屁中了解对方
People are so interchangeable now,
现在的人都太善变了
but you share a butt with somebody,you got a real bond.
不过要是大家一起吸过烟 那就是哥们
You know what? I will,I will take one.
我 我还是来一根吧
Okay. Thank you.
谢谢
I'm Marshall,by the way,it's Marshall,Marshall Eriksen.
我叫Marshall 顺便 我叫Marshall Marshall Eriksen
Yeah. Tell me something,Marshall Eriksen.
告诉我Marshall Eriksen
How would you like to see a picture of the cutest dog in the world?
要不要看看世上最可爱的狗狗?
There he is. He's a good boy.
就是他 好小伙
You smoked.
你抽烟了
S Yes,I smoked,and it was my third of the day.
没错我抽烟了 而且是我今天第三根
You know what that means? I'm a smoker now. It's all over.
知道那代表什么? 我现在是个烟民 全完了
I even bought a pack on the way home
回家时我甚至还买♥♥了一包
and a lighter and a Vikings lamp,
还有打火机 和Vikings的台灯
which has nothing to do with anything, but I saw it in the window and I liked it.
虽然没什么关系 不过我路过窗边看见 很喜欢
Damn it,Marshall.
可恶 Marshall
We already have four Viking lamps and smoking kills.
家里已经有四个Viking台灯和戒烟贴了
It was a way to bond with my boss,okay?
我只是想藉此跟上司打好关系
You should have seen me up there.
你都没见我做了什么
- That is a cute dog. - Yeah.
- 这狗真可爱 - 是啊
- Are those your kids? - Yeah,yeah,whatever.
- 那些是你孩子? - 是吧 随便吧
Hey,oh,look what I got at the mall.
这是我从商场买♥♥的
There he is. There he is.
就是他 就是他
- Go ahead,you can pet him now. - No.
- 来 拍拍他的头 - 不了
Yeah,yeah,come on,he likes it.
来嘛 他很喜欢的
Scratch him under the chin.
逗逗他的下巴
I don't care what your reasons are.
我不管你什么理由
You know how I feel about smoking.
你知道我对吸烟什么看法的
Now,give me the cigarettes.
香烟给我
And the lighter.
还有打火机
Ah,that's the stuff.
爽死了
- What?! - Oh,yeah,add your Aunt Lily to the list.
- 什么?! - 没错 你们Lily阿姨也是烟鬼
Whenever Uncle Marshall fell off the wagon,
不管Marshall叔叔做什么
your Aunt Lily got dragged right down with him.
你们Lily阿姨总是嫁鸡随鸡 嫁狗随狗
What you doing?
你在干嘛?
If you must know,I am reaching out to City Hall
要是你真要知道 我在跟市政厅联♥系♥
to try to get the mayor on our show.
看能不能请市长过来做节目
Oh,my goodness,you are adorable,
我的天 你真可爱
but the mayor's not coming on a show nobody watches.
不过要是节目没观众 市长才不会来呢
My colonoscopy had more viewers than this show.
我做个结肠镜检查都比这节目观众多
At least that had some twists and turns.
起码那内窥镜还比较峰回路转呢
You know,I don't,I don't know why you're acting like this.
我不知道你为什么会这样
Maybe you're just bitter because you ne ver had a shot at a network job,
你这么刻薄可能是 因为你没机会爬上电视网工作
but I think I still do,so I really need to focus.
但我认为我还有希望 所以我要专心
I've been on a network.
我在电视网做过
You were on a network?
你在电视网做过?
It was the best Labor Day weekend of my life.
那是我一生中最棒的劳动节假期
When you do the news,you're in these ergonomic chairs.
你坐着完全符合人体工学的椅子做新闻
It feels like you're sitting on a cloud.
就好像坐在云端一样
Which was nice 'cause it was right after my colonoscopy.
感觉很棒 因为我刚做完结肠镜检查
And the dressing rooms?
还有化妆间
There's dressing rooms?
那里有化妆间?
Oh,you bet your sweet headset there's dressing rooms,Mike.
以你那可爱的耳机起誓 那里当然有化妆间 Mike
No changing in the KFC bathroom across the street.
与街边KFC一模一样的洗手间
No,sir.
完全一模一样
CB SIt was heaven.
那就是天堂
But the second you get used to it,
一旦你已经习惯之后
they go find someone who isn't "going through a bitter divorce"
他们就会找个没有"离婚烦恼"
and doesn't "reek of gin,"
或者不是"一身酒气"的人来代替你
and before you know it,you're stuck in a dead-end gig,
最后你发现 你被困在个没出路的节目
surrounded by people going nowhere,doing the news in your tighty whities.
周围都是无所事事的人 穿着紧身白内♥裤♥做新闻
Okay,the underwear thing was your choice,
这样 穿内♥裤♥是你自己的问题
and I don't like that it's catching on.
而且我搞不明白为什么就流行起来了
Ah,looking good,fellas.
啊 帅啊 兄弟
Feels good,right?
感觉不错是吧?
God,I want to kill him.
我真想干掉他
Of course people watch the show.
当然有人看我的节目
You guys watch the show,that's,like,two right there.
你们会看我的节目 这样就有两个
Oh,my God.
不是吧
You guys still haven't seen my show.
你们居然还没看过我的节目
- What? We never miss it. - We've seen it!
- 什么? 我们每集必追的 - 我们看过!
Really? What color is the set?
真的? 背景是什么颜色?
- It's black. - Right. Yeah.
- 黑色 - 没错
- With,like,silver Uh-huh. around the edges. - Yeah.
- 有银色的边缘 - 是啊
Not your TV set,my show set.
不是电视的背景 是摄影场的背景
God,if I can't even get my best friends to watch,who's going to watch?
要是我的好朋友都不看 那还有谁会看?
Lots of people.
有好多人会看
Uh,you got bedridden insomniacs.
卧床不起的失眠症患者
Bums camping outside a department store.
在百货商店外扎营的流浪汉
People waiting in the ER,where the TV is in a cage,
在急症室外等候的人 那里的电视机放在架子上
so you can't change the channel.
你没法换频道
Ooh,do you have any stalkers?
你有粉丝吗?
Yeah,but even Leonard won't watch my show.
嗯 但是连Leonard都不看我的节目
I can't believe those guys are smoking out there.
真不敢相信他们在外面抽烟
It's freezing out.
外面冷死了
Remember when you used to be able to smoke in bars?
还记得那时候你在酒吧里吸烟吗?
Oh,hey,dude. I think that hot girl over there's smiling at me.
嘿 哥们 我觉得那边的辣妹在朝我笑
Uh,that's a chair. But yeah,dude,hit that.
那是个椅子 不过去上吧
Guys?
伙计们?
Marco!
Marco!
Polo!
Polo! (Marco Polo游泳池里的游戏)
Well,it's dividing our group into smokers and non-smokers.
它把我们分割成吸烟者和非吸烟者
And that's not healthy.
加之吸烟有害健康
You're right.
说得对
Let's go have a smoke.
我们去抽烟吧
What?!
啥?!
Yeah,I'm not proud of it.
我不是引以为傲
Look at you two. Smokers.
瞧瞧你俩 烟鬼
Just like the rest of us.
跟我们一样
I am not a smoker.
我可不是烟鬼
I only smoke in certain situations.
我只是在特定情况下才吸烟
Postcoital,when I'm with Germans--
嘿♥咻♥后 和德国佬一起时
sometimes those two overlap--
有时这两者交叉
coital,birthdays,to annoy my mom,
嘿♥咻♥时 生日时 惹我妈生气时
precoital,on a sailboat,
嘿♥咻♥前 在帆船上时
the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year,and,of course--
每年大都会队惨遭淘汰的那天 还有
wait for it,'cause Lord knows I have--
等一下 天知道我为啥有
pregnancy scares.
怀孕恐惧症
Why are you smoking right now?
那你现在为啥抽烟?
I'm always precoital,Ted.
我一直处于嘿♥咻♥前 Ted
You know,maybe smoking's not so bad.
也许抽烟没那么糟
I mean,at least it gets us out in the fresh air.
我是说 至少能让我们 出来呼吸新鲜空气
Yeah,and all the coughing really works my abs.
嗯 咳嗽能锻炼腹肌
I... am... ripped!
我...好...健美!
But,as glamorous as it was,within a week,we all hit our breaking point.
尽管欲罢不能 不过一周后 我们都几乎崩溃
You okay,sweetie?
你没事吧 宝贝?
Actually,baby,my throat's a bit sore.
宝贝 其实我的喉咙有点痛
three flights later...
三层楼梯后
- So,I'm whapping him across the nose with the newspaper,right? - Yeah.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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