老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S05E19
Part 3
Oct. 23, 2020, 10:08 a.m.
... 好吗?
So,there we are,zero gravity.
所以 开始了 在失重状态下
The three of us wearing nothing t space helmets...
我们三个除了太空飞行帽什么都没穿...
Marshall! You won't believe it.
Marshall 你不会相信
I pitched the monkey mugger story to my producer and he loves it!
我跟我的制♥作♥人说了这个猴子抢劫 他很喜欢!
- Yeah! Ye! - Really? Cool.
- 是的! - 真的吗? 太好了
I mean,who's ever heard of guy getting mugged by a monkey?
我是说 谁听过有人被猴子抢劫的事?
No one except fothe good people of Thailand,China,Costa Rica,
没人 除了在泰国 中国 哥斯达黎加
and plenty other countries
还有其他很多国家
where monkey crime is an extmely common nuisance.
猴子犯罪是极其常见的公害
Well,the best part is,he said that it might get picked up to go national
最棒的是 他说这新闻 说不定能上国家台
Gu,this monkey mugger story could make me faus.
伙计们 这个猴子抢钱的故事 可能让我成名
Me,too.
我也是
Guys,this is bad. I-I can't,I can'to this.
伙计们 不行 我不能...我不能做这事
- So,it'll be a little embarrassing-- so what - It's not that.
- 这会有点难为情 那又怎样 - 不是那个原因
Guys.
伙计
I wasn't mugged by a monke
我没有被猴子抢劫
So,uh... So,you weren't mugged by a monkey?
那...那你没有被猴子抢劫?
,I wasn't.
我没有
So what you're saying is the monkey tricked you into giving hiyour wallet?
那你是说这只猴子 耍花招骗你交出了钱包?
,that's not what I'm saying.
我没那么说
Soou mugged the monkey?
那是你抢劫了那只猴子?
Guys,there was monkey!
伙计们 根本没有猴子
It was a humaneing with a gun.
是一个人拿着一把枪
Are you sure it wasn't onmonkey standing on anotr monkey's shoulders,
你肯定不是一只猴子 站在另一只猴子的肩上
wearing a men's trench coat?
穿着一件军用防水上衣?
Be abouthe right height.
可能差不多高度呢
No! I...
不 我...
I just me that story up so that Lily wouldn't get a gun.
我只是编个故事让Lily不要买♥♥枪
The truth is that it never happened.
事实上根本不是猴子
- I don't buy it - What?
- 我不信 - 什么?
You heard me. I think you were mugged by a monkey.
你听到我了 我认为你确实被猴子抢劫了
You just don't want to go on Robin's show
你只是不想上Robin的节目
'cause you're afraid it'll make you look like a big joke.
因为你害怕它会让你成为一个大笑话
- We,won't it? - The biggest,'cause it's so funny.
- 难道不是吗? - 天大的笑话 因为实在太好笑了
Well,never happened,okay?
但真的没发生 好吗?
And I can lie to you guys about it because yore my best friends.
我只能骗你们 因为你们是我最好的朋友
am,but go on.
我是 继续
But can't lie about it on national TV.
但我不能在国家电视台上撒谎
Ted,you've known him e longest. Is htelling the truth?
Ted 你认识他时间最长 他说的是真话吗?
Ted,don't...
Ted 别...
I can't tell.
我看不出来
He slls good.
他闻起来很香
But I ju can't tell.
但我实在看不出来
Well,I'm still saying it happened.
我还是认为它发生了
Maybe. But,Marshall,you didn't get mugged by a monkey,
可能 但Marshall 如果你没被猴子抢劫
you can't let Robin report it her show.
你不能让Robin在节目上报道
I mean,this could hurt r credibility.
这可能会伤害到她的信用
Oh,plea! Journalists lie all the time.
省省吧 记者哪有不说谎的
I'm sorry,but I will believe that Jack Palance isead when I see the body.
对不起 但除非我看到尸体 我不会相信Jack Palance已经死了
Okay,this may come as a shock to you,Barney,
好吧 这可能对你来说是个惊吓 Barney
but people don like to be lied to.
但人们不喜欢听谎言
Wrong! They don't like finding ou they've been lied to.
错 他们不喜欢发现他们被骗了
"Because a lie is just a great story that somne ruined with the truth.
"因为谎言在被真♥相♥拆穿之前 都是最美的故事"
" Barney Stinson.
Barney Stinson名言
Case in point,what that girl Sarah did to me!
事例证明 那个女孩Sarah对我做的事!
I think you mean what you did ther.
我想你想说你对她做的事
No,I mean what she did toe.
不 我是说她对我做的
The truth is,I'm afraid the the-way story
真♥相♥是 恐怕那个三人行的故事
didn't go exactly e way I said it did.
并没有完全像我说的那样发展
Nailed it. Who's up for a threeay?
成功 谁有兴趣玩三人行?
Lisa,wait.
Lisa 等等
Yes,Neil?
什么 Neil?
Ohyou're Lisa? Sarah,wait.
你是Lisa? Sarah等等
Look...
听着...
I'm not Neil Armstro.
我不是Neil Armstrong
I'm sorry I lied.
对不起我撒谎了
Well,I guess I wasn't completelyonest with you,either.
我想我对你也没有完完全全诚实
mean,I said that I was 28,but thtruth is that I'm really 31.
我说我只有28岁 但事实上我是31岁
And if we're being comptely honest,
如果我们都完全诚实坦白
I went to the doctor the other day and found out...
我第二天去看了医生然后发现...
31!
31岁
I was ppy,very happy,thinking that
我很高兴 非常高兴 以为
I had nailed a 28-year-old with some sun damage.
我泡上了一个28岁的姑娘 只是她皮肤被日晒老化得凶一点
People want the lie.
人们想要谎言
rshall,they need the lie,which is why,
Marshall 他们需要谎言 这也就是为什么
as far aI'm concerned,you were mugged by a monkey.
对我而言 你就是被一个猴子抢劫了
Just as sure as I had at three-way.
就像我玩了三人行一样肯定
am the greatest in the world!
我是世界最强!
Bar... Barney! Is that the three-way belt?
Bar... Barney 这是三人行腰带吗?
You know it.
你知道的
Man,I slept so great last night.
我昨晚睡得太好了
Can you believe I almost bought a gun?
你能相信我差点买♥♥了把枪?
I'm so glad u got mugged by a monkey.
我太高兴抢你的是只猴子了
Okay... you guys got me.
好吧...被你们说中了
I was just nervous. I,I g mugged by a monkey.
我刚只是有点紧张 我是被一只猴子抢了
Yes! I knew it.
是的! 我就知道
Wait a minute. Now I'm thinking you really weren't mugged by a monkey.
等等 现在我又觉得你没被猴子抢了
Come on,Ted. Why would he make something like that up?
别这样 Ted 他为什么会编出这样的话来?
Yeah,come o Ted.
是啊 别这样 Ted
Come here.
过来
Okay,seriously,what is that cologne? It's intoxicating.
好吧 说真的 那是什么古龙水 简直让人兴奋
So,late the following night,we all went to the set ofobin's show.
所以 接下来的那晚 我们全都去了Robin节目的现场
OkayMarshall,now,don't be nervous.
好了 Marshall 现在别紧张
What we're going to do is we're going to siyou...
我们要做的就是让你...
What the hell ishis?
这鬼东西是什么?
I don't know. Looks like something covered by a sheet.
我不知道 看起来像毯子盖住了什么
Gus if you want to find out,you're going to have to do a story on i
想知道是什么 就得让它上节目
You're going to be covered by a sheet
你小心被我盖上毯子扔出去
if you don'tet your stupid model out of here.
如果你不把这个愚蠢的模型弄出去
Dude,what are you doing?
伙计 你在干什么?
I don't think Marshall's going to lie on TV.
我认为Marshall不会在电视上说谎
And when he backs out,
当他退缩时
want to be there for my friend,Robin,with a story.
我想为我的朋友Robin 准备一条后路
Or rather,102 stories,
或者说102层楼
because that's how ll a certain iconicew York landmark is.
因为那也是某座纽约标志性建筑的楼层
Now,I wa to buy a gun.
现在 我想买♥♥把枪了
- Whoa,the monkey's her - Yeah,surprise.
- 猴子也来了 - 是的 惊喜吧
We thought it would help the story to bring him here
我们认为把它弄来能为让这个故事更丰富
so you could fe your attacker.
这样你能面对你的攻击者
Yeah. Because this incident,we will be sendingaptain Bobo to a wildlife sanctuary.
是的 因为这个事件 我们将送Bobo船长 去一个野生动物保护区
Oh,I bet he'll like it there.
我打赌它会喜欢那里的
No,ma'am.
不 夫人
Yosee,we'll be splitting him up from his mate,Milly.
你看 我们必须让它和它的配偶Milly分开
They've been together for a long tim
它们已经在一起很长时间了
His mate's name is Milly?
它的配偶的名字是Milly?
And then,the inrview began.
然后 采访开始了
Marshall,in your own words,describe what happened.
Marshall 用你自己的话 描述一下发生了什么
We,I would,I...
我们 我...
I would love to tell you at happened,Robin.
我很高兴能告诉你发生了什么 Robin
But I'm just,I'm so curious as twhat is going on underneath that sheet.
但我只是 我只是很好奇 那张毯子底下到底是什么
Well,we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk abt your mugging.
我们不是来讨论那个的 我们要来讨论你被抢的事
Right. Well,people get mugd in New York City all the time,Robin,
是的 在纽约 被抢劫再平常不过了 Robin
but how often do you get to see whatever's under that eet?
但看到毛毯之下那神秘之物的机会 能有多少呢?
Mike,can we get a shot that?
Mike 能给一个镜头吗?
- We'll be right bk. - We're clear.
- 我们马上回来 - 好了
What the hell are you doing?
你到底在干什么?
Robin,I...
Robin 我…
I wasn't really mugged by monkey,okay?
我没有被猴子抢劫
I just made up that story that Lily wouldn't buy a gun.
我只是编了这个故事 好让Lily不要买♥♥枪
So you weren't mugged by monkey?
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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