燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E20

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 8:26 a.m.

燃情
克利夫兰
第六季第二十集
《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
尼克给9号♥桌上两杯咖啡好吗
Nicky, can you get two coffees for table nine?
好的没问题
Yeah, sure.
天啊
Oh, my God.
新来的服务员刚才摸了我的屁♥股♥
The new waiter just touched my butt.
他是不是路过时不经意般地扫了你一下
Did he walk by and sort of causally brush it with his hand?
没错
Yeah!
他刚在吧台那边也这样碰过我两次了
He did that to me by the bar, twice.
他明明是揩油还表现得像是无心之举
He's groping us and making it look like an accident.
乔依他可能以为自己伸手摸的是拖把
Well, Joy, he probably thought he was reaching for a mop.
托尼去哪儿了
Where's Tony?
我帅气的儿子正在外面接工作电♥话♥
Oh, my beautiful son is outside on a business call.
女士们我有一个重大消息要宣布
Ladies, I have a major announcement to make.
我刚刚被克利夫兰剧场
I have just been named artistic director
任命为艺术导演了
of the Cleveland Studio Theater.
真是太棒了
That's fantastic.
但你从来没有执导过任何剧
But you've never directed before.
我知道但那能有多难啊
Oh, I know, but how hard can it be?
当导演不就是负责指挥大家做事
Directing is just telling people what to do
以及和演员上♥床♥嘛
and sleeping with actors.
唯一的问题就是
The only downside is,
我的处♥女♥作需要有人投资
I need investors for my first production.
在戏剧界我们称之为"天使"
In the theater, we call them "angels."
在现实生活中人们称之为"蠢货"
In real life, they call them "suckers."
女士们我有一个重大消息要宣布
Ladies, I have a major announcement to make.
我开♥发♥的APP卖♥♥了几百万美元的好价钱
The app that I developed just sold for millions.
几百万
Millions?
我儿子好聪明我的天使...
Oh, my clever boy, my angel...
我的天使投资人
My angel.
你肯定要用这笔钱
Well, you'll be looking for something
去投资什么项目吧
to invest that money in.
是的我想也许用于搞慈善
Yeah, I was thinking maybe a charity.
搞慈善
Charity?
搞慈善你可赚不到一毛钱
Well, you can't make any money on that.
投资剧院吧
Now, theater,
那才是明智的投资对象
that's a sound investment.
而且幸运的是我是克利夫兰剧场
And as luck would have it, I am the new artistic director
新一任艺术导演
for the Cleveland Studio Theater.
我非常乐意投资
Oh, I would love to invest.
真是太好了
Oh, that's fantastic.
我只有一个小小的条件
I just have one tiny condition.
我想在戏里扮演一个角色
I would like a part in the play.
你以前当过演员吗
Oh, have you ever acted before?
没有但那能有多难啊
No, but how hard can it be?
演戏不就是假装听导演的话
Acting is just pretending to listen to your director
以及跟其他演员上♥床♥嘛
and sleeping with the other actors, right?
我们下一部剧叫《蝗虫之夏》
Well, our next play is Summer of the Locust
根据薇拉·卡瑟的作品改编
based on a Willa Cather story
讲述一个农场小男孩见到外婆鬼魂的故事
about a young farm boy who is visited by the ghost of his grandmother.
是有老太太的戏份吗
Oh, there's an old lady part?
有啊
Yeah.
你听到了吗乔依
Did you hear that, Joy?
我们应该庆祝一番
Well, we should celebrate.
尼克给我们来瓶香槟好吗
Hey, Nicky, can you get us a bottle of champagne?
当然可以马上就来
Oh, yeah, of course. Coming right up.
谢谢
Thanks.
他又摸我了到此为止他必须得走人
He did it again. Okay, that's it. He's got to go.
你不能毫无证据就指责别人揩油啊
Wait, you can't just accuse someone of groping without proof.
我们得去查监控录像
We need to go through the security cameras
看看有没有录下他的所作所为
and see if we have footage of him doing it.
别看上周二晚上的录像就好
Just don't look at last Tuesday night.
上周二晚上是你在这儿约会
But last Tuesday night you were here with a date.
你说你会负责关门打烊的
You said you'd lock up.
店里的鲜奶油就是那晚用光的吧
Wasn't that the night we ran out of whipped cream?
以及巧克力屑
And sprinkles.
而来到这片美丽的土地上
And into this beautiful land
我保证一定会回来
I promise to return.
你这试镜表现真是太赞了
That was a great audition.
爱尔卡非你莫属了
Elka, you nailed it.
我想外婆这个角色已经不必再找人试镜了
I don't think we need to look any further for the grandmother.
我觉得有必要
Oh, I think you do.
外婆
Grandma?
老妈你来这儿干什么
Mom, what are you doing here?
我听说了这个公开试镜
Well, I heard about the open auditions,
我就寻思着应该过来试一试
and I thought I should come down and try out
否则你就得用本地的一些无名之辈了
because otherwise you might be stuck with some local nobody.
你好爱尔卡
Hello, Elka.
你好佩妮
Hello, Penny.
非常感谢你前来暖场
Thank you so much for warming them up.
现在该专业演员登场了
Now it's time for a professional actress.
你以前不过是个演木偶剧的
You did a TV show with puppets.
我会让你见识到我一只手所能表达的
I'll have you know I can express more with one hand
比大部分人用尽浑身解数还丰富
than most people can with their entire bodies.
我用一根中指就能表达对你的感觉了
I can express how I feel about you with one finger.
爱尔卡很出色
Elka was great.
也许可以让她给外婆当替角
Maybe she could be Grandma's understudy.
就是说如果佩妮发生了什么不幸
So if something terrible happened to Penny,
我就能接替她
I'd step in?
死心吧小黄毛我从未错过任何演出
Back off, blondie. I've never missed a performance.
我敢说观众们真心希望你能错过
I bet your audiences wished you had.
监控录像不会说谎
The security camera doesn't lie.
尼克在那张桌子旁边摸了我
Nicky groped me by that table
在收银机那边摸了你
and you by the cash register.
不要不要放大镜头不要放大
No, don't zoom in. Don't zoom in.
我讨厌我的屁♥股♥
I hate my butt.
屁♥股♥大如天
It's everywhere.
他想不摸到都难
He couldn't not grope it.
闭嘴吧你
Oh, shut up.
你臀形很赞的
You have an amazing butt.
如今正流行呢
It's so in fashion right now.
翘屁♥股♥就是吊炸天[低音/歌♥曲名]
It's all about that bass.
不像我屁♥股♥那么平麻烦大了[高音]
Unlike my pancake ass. I'm all treble.
维多利亚
Victoria,
你觉得我们的屁♥股♥怎么样
what do you think of our butts?
真抱歉我得去排练了
Oh, I'm sorry. I have to get to rehearsal.
我没时间编造实话
I don't have time to make up an honest answer.
我老妈到底上哪儿去了
Where the hell is my mother?
爱尔卡你能读她这段台词吗
Elka, would you read in for her?
我很乐意
I'd be happy to.
各位将有幸听到这段台词的正宗演绎
It'll be nice to hear how it should be read.
走开矮子
Beat it, short stuff.
业余表演时间结束了
Amateur hour is over.
我非常抱歉我迟到了
I'm terribly sorry I'm late,
但凡是我途经的街道突然间都在修路
but the city is tearing up my street suddenly.
我是市长
Oh, I'm the mayor.
我会查出是谁下令这样做的
I'll find out who ordered that.
我打电♥话♥问过了他们说就是你
I called. They said it was you.
那大家就不必浪费时间了
Well, that saves us some time.
好了各位我们要从这一幕开始
Okay, everybody, we are going to start with the scene
菲利普独自一人绝望无助
where Phillip, alone and desperate,
他看到自己亲爱的外婆的幻象
sees a vision of his beloved grandmother
而她早在5年前就去世了
who died five years earlier.
这一幕在剧中非常关键且打动人心
Now, it's a very pivotal and poignant moment in the play.
菲利普我亲爱的亲爱的菲利普
Phillip, my darling, darling Phillip.
外婆真的是你吗
Grandma, is that really you?
我真不敢相信是你
I can't believe it's you.
我真的好想好想你
I've missed you so much.
老天他演技太烂了
Oh, my God. He's terrible.
蔡斯家族里属他演技最烂了