燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E14

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 8:25 a.m.

This is my associate, Gerry.
让我猜猜
Let me guess.
当年你从埃利斯岛移♥民♥过来时
When you came through Ellis Island,
他们把你的名字"杰拉尼莫"简化成了杰瑞
they probably shortened it from Geronimo.
不是是杰拉德的简称
No, it's short for Gerald,
而且我们都不是埃利斯岛上来的
and none of us came through ellis island.
所以我们才叫美洲原住民
That's why we're Native Americans.
我们非常激动能有你这样的名人
We're thrilled that someone as famous as you
愿意支持我们的工作
has agreed to help us with our cause.
我们想给你谈谈瓦胡酋长的事
We want to talk to you about Chief Wahoo.
瓦胡酋长是个了不起的人
Chief Wahoo. Wonderful man.
我们想除掉他
We want to get rid of him.
是那位瓦胡酋长啊
Oh, that Chief Wahoo.
不他糟透了
No, he's terrible.
我们说的是克里夫兰印地安人队的吉祥物
We're talking about the mascot for the Cleveland Indians.
我们觉得那幅咧嘴笑的红脸漫画相当无礼
We find the grinning, red-faced caricature to be offensive.
我深有体会
Oh, I can relate.
有一幅侮辱讽刺我的漫画
There's an insulting caricature of me
就挂在贝弗利山庄的棕榈牛排馆里
at the Palm Steak House in Beverly Hills.
把我的鼻子画得完全走样
I mean, my nose is all wrong,
他们还让我手里举着个面包棒
and they've got me holding a breadstick.
怎么可能啊
As if.
此事非常重大
It's a very high-profile issue,
那我们能期待你给予支持吗
so we can count on you for your support?
绝对能
Absolutely.
我有责任帮助我的族人
It's my duty to help my people,
在这个过程之中如果我受到全国瞩目
and if I get national recognition in the process,
我也只得承受这一点了
well, I'll just have to live with that.
我们最快可以明天就安排一个新闻发布会
We can schedule a press conference as soon as tomorrow,
除非你需要更多时间准备
unless you need more time.
不用我准备好了但我需要一个备忘单
No, I'm ready, but I will need a cheat sheet.
有一次我出席一个电影宣传没发言稿
One time, I did promotion for a movie without notes,
我当时真是相当尴尬
and I really embarrassed myself.
亲们我的脸...
Boy, was my face...
天生就这颜色
It's natural color.
你们二人的血统可以追溯到
We can trace both of your bloodlines
波兰东部同一个村庄
back to the same village in eastern Poland.
据1829年的教堂档案记载
Church records from 1829
提到一位女士她很高还有一副苦瓜脸
refer to one woman who was tall and sour-faced.
听着像你
Sounds like you.
而另一位女士性感撩人又足智多谋
And another woman who was voluptuous and quick of wit.
听着像我
Sounds like me.
她们当时都是出名的酒鬼
They were both renowned drinkers.
接着说
Go on.
有好多年她们的关系都很紧张
For years, their relationship was fraught with tension,
通过很多信件可以洞悉
with many letters outlining
她们对彼此抱有强烈的憎恨
their vehement hatred of one another.
然后她们意识到了彼此紧张关系的根源
Then they realized the source of their tension.
是什么
Which was?
一种深埋的性吸引
A deep sexual attraction.
搞什么鬼啊
What the hell?
事实上她们二位
They were, in fact,
是史上记载的最早公开同性恋关系的情侣之一
one of the earliest documented open lesbian relationships.
但那怎么能让我们有血缘关系呢
But how does that make us related?
我们不可能是一对同性恋的后裔吧
We can't be descended from two women.
她们养了一个孩子
They had a child together.
高个女睡了性感女的弟弟
The tall one slept with the voluptuous one's brother.
你的典型作风
Typical.
这是她们一家三口的照片
Here is a photo of them
摄于1832年
from the year 1832.
你真是相当会安慰人聪明又平易近人
Wow, you are so comforting and smart and easy to talk to.
我想再见到你
I'd love to see you again.
明天见怎么样
How about tomorrow?
好啊太好了
Yes. Great.
我该穿什么
What should I wear?
什么舒服穿什么
Whatever's comfortable.
不过是个会诊而已
It's just another appointment.
会诊啊
Appointment.
没错当然只是个会诊
Yes, of course it's an appointment,
因为我是你的病人
'Cause I'm your patient.
凯莎对吗
Kesha, right?
很高兴你明天能来
It's good you're coming in tomorrow.
我给你倒了些茶
I brought you some tea.
你怎么对我这么好
Why are you being so nice?
你这样让我好恶心
You're skeeving me out.
我只是试图消除这种紧张的氛围
I'm just trying to diffuse the tension.
你当然喜欢消除"紧"张爽一爽了
Oh, I'm sure you'd like to diffuse the tension.
我们能把注意力转向别的话题吗
Can we please turn our attention to something else?
我表哥成了我的心理医生
Well, my cousin's my shrink,
而且我觉得我爱上他了
and I think I'm in love with him.
对我来说转向这个就行了
That works for me.
我们都会爱上自己的心理医生但是表哥
We all fall in love with our shrinks, but cousins?
有点不大合适吧
Isn't that a bit unseemly?
有吗
Well, is it?
我希望知道我们的血缘关系到底有多亲近
I just wish I knew how closely related we were.
如果是亲表兄妹那是够恶心人的
I mean, yeah, second cousins, that would be gross,
要是第四或第五代表亲那还能接受吧
but fourth or fifth cousins... that would be fine, right?
我们又不是打算要孩子
I mean, it's not like we're gonna have kids.
不知道他想不想要个孩子
Ooh, I wonder if he wants kids.
他会是个好爸爸的
He'd be a good dad.
我有了一项新事业
Well, I have a new cause.
在座各位谁听说过瓦胡酋长吗
Has anyone here heard of Chief Wahoo?
当然他是克里夫兰印地安人队的吉祥物
Yeah, he's the mascot for the Cleveland Indians.
没错他令人讨厌
That's right, and he's offensive,
而我将推动弃用他这件事
and I am gonna help get rid of him.
但他是印地安人队的象征
But he's the symbol of the team...
虽然这队自1948年就没赢过
which hasn't won a series since 1948.
废了他
Can him.
我觉得人生很充实
I feel so fulfilled,
这都要归功于你那个DNA测试梅兰妮
and I owe it all to your DNA test, Melanie.
我当然很气你偷走我的牙刷
Now, obviously, I resented you stealing my toothbrush,
但现在我理解了你们白人就这德性
but now I understand that that's just how the white man operates.
就是这个办法
That's it!
我要去偷我表哥的牙刷
I'll steal my cousin's toothbrush
做个更详尽的DNA测试
and get a more detailed DNA test.
我就告诉他他牙上沾了片菠菜叶什么的
I'll just tell him he's got, like, spinach in his teeth or something,
等他刷完牙后我就顺手偷出来
and then after he brushes, I'll swipe it.
如果你不是真的在见一个心理医生
If you weren't seeing a therapist,
我会建议你去看看心理医生的
I'd say you should see a therapist.
不是听着如果这办法不成功
No, I-- look, if it doesn't work out,
我会重新找个心理医生忘了他的
I'll just get over him with a different shrink.
女心理医生
A woman.
我显然是不会爱上一个女人的
I can be sure not to fall in love with her.
你为什么要看着我们说这话啊
Why are you looking at us?
因为我在跟你们说话啊
Because I'm talking to you.
你们的反应怎么这么奇怪
Why are you acting so weird?
我们的反应才不奇怪呢
We're not acting weird.
想跟自己表哥上♥床♥的人可是你啊
You're the one trying to get into your cousin's pants.
你们俩的反应真的有点怪
You two are acting a little weird.
那个史学家是怎么跟你们说的
What did that historian tell you?
没什么啦
Oh, you know, nothing much.
不过我们在俄亥俄州确实有个亲戚
Oh, except we do have a relative here in Ohio.
一个住在亚克朗市的年轻女人
A young woman who lives in Akron.
你们可得去见见她
Oh, well, you got to go meet her.
拜托你们俩难道不好奇吗
I mean, come on. Aren't you two curious?
好奇[双性恋]
Curious?
你为什么要用这个词啊
Why did you use that word?
在感情的初期阶段
So, early in relationships,
两个人对对方都只有一点点了解
when people only know a little bit about each other,
他们会按照自己想要的
they fill in the blank spots
去填补对方身上未知的那些空白