燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E18

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 8:25 a.m.

燃情
克利夫兰
第六季第十八集
《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
我为什么要来拍照
Why am I getting my picture taken?
因为我似乎已经成了本地名人
Well, it seems I become a bit of local celebrity.
我们要拍订婚照
We're getting an engagement portrait.
我是因为驾照过期了
My driver's license expired.
我要拍一套裸体挂历慈善用途
I'm doing a nude calendar for charity.
一周前
"为慈善拍一套裸体挂历"是什么意思
What do you mean, you're doing a nude calendar for charity?
起先我们是想搞个烘焙特卖♥♥的
First, we thought of a bake sale.
好主意就那么办吧
Good idea. Do that.
然后我们就开始做果冻杯
And then, we started doing Jell-O shots.
当我看到果冻在杯中摇摆颤动时
When I saw the jiggle in my glass,
我灵机一动点子就来了
I came up with the idea.
你们就不能打消这个念头吗
But can't you just cancel?
反正也就你们俩知道这个想法
You're the only ones who know about it.
翻到第三版面
Turn to page three.
市长已同意拍摄一套裸体挂历
The mayor has agreed to do a nude calendar
用于为克利夫兰动物收♥容♥所♥集资筹款
to raise money for the Cleveland animal shelter.
都已经上报了吗
It's in the papers?
我喝多了联♥系♥的报社
I drunk-dialed that in.
猜猜是谁应邀参加名人摄影了
Guess who just got asked for their celebrity photo,
可不是维多利亚哦
and it's not Victoria.
是你吗梅兰妮
Is it you, Melanie?
没错
Yes!
因为我的电台节目
Because of my radio show,
干洗店要用我的照片
the dry cleaners asked for my photo.
首次有干洗店要用你的大头照
Ah, the first time the dry cleaner asks for your head shot.
我清楚地记得我的照片
I remember it well,
我当时夹在大卫·哈塞尔霍夫和亨利·温克尔中间
I was between David Hasselhoff and Henry Winkler,
颇为讽刺的是一年之后
and ironically, a year later,
我又被"夹"在他们中间
I was between them again.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
怎么了
What's wrong?
讨厌的俄亥俄州车辆管理局寄来的
Oh, that stupid Ohio DMV!
我去更新驾照
I went in to renew my license,
结果他们寄来的驾照上贴着别人的照片
and they sent it back to me with someone else's picture.
看这个女人真是又老又丑
Look at that ugly, old woman.
维多利亚亲爱的那就是你啊
Victoria, honey, that's you.
什么
What?
我当时跟他们说了
I told them
作为明星一定要把我的照片修一下
I required the celebrity Photoshop package,
就像比弗利山庄车辆管理局那样
you know, like they have at the Beverly Hills DMV.
当时我给了外面那个接待员100美元
When I gave that greeter outside $100,
他说他会搞定的
he said he'd take care of it.
车辆管理局根本没有接待员
They don't have a greeter at the DMV.
他手推车的标牌上是这么写的啊
That's what the sign said on his shopping cart.
我和鲍勃找到一位超赞的摄影师
Bob and I found a fantastic photographer
给我们拍订婚照
for our engagement photo.
可以让他给你拍照
He could take your picture.
那简直太好了
Oh, that'd be great.
那我就可以自带
Now, and then I could take
专业处理过的证件照去车辆管理局了
my own professionally done head shot to the DMV.
他也能为我们的事儿拍照
And he could take shots for our thing.
什么事
What thing?
我们为了小动物们要拍裸照
We're posing nude for the animals.
只要不流传出去就行了
Well, as long as people don't have to see it.
别再做鬼脸了
Stop making comedy faces.
这是我们的订婚照
This is our engagement photo.
你就不能微笑想想我们有多幸福吗
Can't you just smile and think about how happy you are?
对不起乔依
I'm sorry, Joy.
只是当我想到内心的真实感受时
It's just, when I think about how I really feel, you know...
一想到我何其有幸能娶到你这样的女孩
about a guy like me getting to marry a girl like you,
我就...
well, I just...
我就无法相信自己能如此幸运
I can't believe how... how lucky I am.
我要冷静一下
I need a minute.
真是太感人了
Aw, that's so sweet.
是的
It is.
看到他敏感脆弱的一面是挺令人惊讶的
I know it's surprising... his sensitive side,
毕竟他外表看起来是那样的硬汉
seeing how tough and macho he is on the outside.
我们是在说鲍勃对吧
We're talking about Bob, right?
当然了我去看看他
Of course. I'll go check on him.
趁他们还没回来先拍你的吧梅兰妮
While we're waiting, do you want to start on yours, Melanie?
没问题这里感觉有点冷
Oh, yeah, sure. It's a little chilly in here.
你准备的时候我想先披着这条围巾
I'm just gonna put this shawl around me while you set up.
好的
Okay.
话说感觉有点古怪
You know, it's weird.
我以前都是和老公或孩子
I haven't had a studio portrait taken
一起到照相馆拍照的
without my husband or my kids.
但如今我是单身虽然那也没什么不好
But I'm single now, and that's okay.
我就是觉得身边应该有些什么东西
It just feels like there should be something here next to me.
你好小家伙
Well, hi, you.
真是只可爱小萌猫
What a sweet little kitty you are.
你叫什么名字
What is your name?
巴尼漂亮的小家伙帅气的名字
Barney, well, that's a handsome name for such a handsome fellow.
老天乔依要是没有你
Oh, God, Joy, without you,
我也可能沦落成那样
that could be me...
孤独又可悲和猫咪对话
Sad, alone, talking to cats.
我才不是孤独又可悲
I am not sad and alone.
能笑一下吗梅兰妮
Can we get a smile, Melanie?
不行笑不出来
No, I don't think we can.
敬克利夫兰的挂历女郎们
To Cleveland's calendar girls.
话说我要缠条巨蟒在身
You know, I'm gonna pose with nothing but a python
就像小甜甜布兰妮那样
like Britney Spears.
我唯一要的就是两只小狗狗
All I need are a couple puppies
挡一下我那对"咪♥咪♥"
to cover my puppies.
我要在翘臀上放一只香槟杯
I'm gonna balance a champagne glass on my butt
就像金·卡戴珊那样
like Kim Kardashian.
我在家试过了
I tried it at home.
我的臀上还有地方放个冰桶呢
There's even room for the ice bucket.
我还是躲在衣服后面拍吧
I'm thinking of posing behind clothes.
但那样就不是裸照了
But then you won't be naked.
我觉得我还是挺羞于一脱而红的
I guess I'm a little nervous about being in the buff.
请原谅我的用词
Pardon my language.
但你有一副绝世好身材啊
But you have a gorgeous body.
你怎么知道的
How do you know?
我都没看过自己的裸体
I've never even seen myself naked.
我都是先摘隐形眼镜再脱♥光♥衣服的
I take out my contacts before I undress.
你过机场安检的时候我看到的
I saw you when you went through airport security.
身型很不错
It was a nice outline.
万一鲍尔牧师看到怎么办
What if Reverend Bower sees it?
鲍尔牧师
Ooh, Reverend Bower?
有人就好牧师这口儿
Somebody's hot for preacher.
我们只是朋友
We're just friends.
我不希望他因为看到重口味的我而看轻我
I wouldn't want him to think less of me by seeing more of me.
没关系的
It's gonna be fine.
再来瓶啤酒
Have another beer.
现在我们需要的是订几张披萨
What we need is to order some pizzas.
爱尔卡我们必须得注意身材亲爱的
Elka, we've got to watch our figures, honey.
我们马上要拍照了
We've got a photo shoot coming.
放轻松
Relax.
我会找两只大点的狗狗来遮挡
I'll just wear bigger puppies.
你真是我的好朋友
You're a good friend,
自愿陪我来车辆管理局
volunteering to keep me company at the DMV.
我可不是自愿的
I didn't volunteer.
你当时说的是一起去吃冻酸奶
You said we were going for frozen yogurt.
下一位
Next.
天啊是维多利亚·蔡斯
Oh, my goodness, Victoria Chase!
-我可是你的粉丝 -谢谢你
- I'm such a fan! - Oh, thank you.
说出来你肯定不会相信
You are not gonna believe this,