燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E17

Part 3 May 4, 2020, 8:25 a.m.

到时候消息就会传得满天飞
and then it'll be everywhere.
好吧
Okay.
谢谢你真是个可爱贴心的男人
Thank you. You are a dear, sweet man.
我现在都想亲你了
I could kiss you right now.
你肯定能理解这事必须保密
And surely you understand why this has to be a secret.
如果人们发现我们曾是高中同学
I mean, if people find out we went to high school together,
他们就会算出我的真实年龄
they'll figure out my true age.
但你的朋友们肯定知道你的真实年龄啊
But your friends must know your true age.
她们只知道"一个"真实年龄那也不是真实的
They know a true age, not the true age.
该死你都穿好衣服了
Oh, damn it, you're dressed.
西蒙你不能老是闯进我的房♥间里
Simon, you can't keep barging into my room.
你为什么穿短裙
And why are you wearing a kilt?
为了预演晚宴啊
It's for the rehearsal dinner.
那也是你我的共同点之一
That's another thing you and I have in common:
我们的腿会把裙子衬得特别美
we both have the legs to pull off a skirt.
别跟我调情
Stop flirting with me.
你不可能再凭魅力重新进入我的生活
You can't charm your way back into my life.
我跟别人在一起了
I'm with someone else now.
我打算扭转这一局面
I plan to change that.
今晚我要致敬初恋
Tonight I'm gonna make a toast to first love,
就像欧文和安安就像你和我
like Owen and Andi, like you and me.
西蒙
Simon--
乔依我们是一家人
Joy, we're a family.
身为儿子最大的愿望
What more could a boy want
不就是自己的父母能重归于好吗
than his parents to get back together?
为我们的儿子创造一个完美的婚礼吧
Let's make this a perfect wedding for our son.
该死
Oh, damn it!
干洗店没办法把婚纱上的"谋杀"洗掉
The dry cleaner can't get "Murder" out of the wedding dress.
-什么 -没什么
- What? - Never mind.
我得下去一趟
I've got to go down there.
西蒙
Simon.
鲍勃
Bob.
你是在染头发吗
Are you coloring your hair?
那不重要
That's not important.
重要的是我听到了你对乔依所说的一切
What is important is, I heard everything you said to Joy,
我觉得你说的很对
and I think you're absolutely right.
是吗
You do?
是的你毕竟是她的初恋
Yes, you're her first love.
她永远无法忘记这一点的
She's never gonna get over that.
我也该接受这个事实向前看了
It's time for me to accept that fact and move on.
我去穿上衣服退出乔依的生活
I'm gonna get dressed and get out of Joy's life.
还有一件事
Oh, one more thing.
欧文的婚戒
Owen's wedding ring
在我西装口袋里就挂在柜子里
is in the pocket of my suit in that closet.
不如你去拿着吧
Why don't you get it?
该由你在婚礼上把戒指交给新郎
You should be the one to present it at the wedding.
好的
Sure.
谢谢
And thank you.
嘿这是什么情况
Hey, what's going on?
我想感谢我妈
And I'd like to thank my mom
为我准备了一个美妙的平静的夜晚
for a wonderful, uneventful evening.
-干杯 -干杯
- Hear, hear. - Hear, hear.
现在该吃蛋糕了吧
I guess all that's left is the cake.
蛋糕没事的对吧
The cake is fine, right?
别担心
Don't worry.
我跟面点师说得很清楚了
I was very explicit with the baker.
我跟他说这个蛋糕上绝对不能出现鸡鸡
I told him absolutely no penis on this cake.
天啊
Oh, my.
蛋糕上"绝对没有鸡鸡"
There's "Absolutely no penis" on this cake.
我也好怀念之前那些"鸡鸡"
I miss them too.
不是是蛋糕上写的字
No, that's what it says on the cake:
"绝对不能出现鸡鸡"
"Absolutely no penis."
妈
Mom?
不不不亲爱的听我解释
No, no, no, no, honey, I can explain.
第一个蛋糕是个童话主题的蛋糕
See, the first cake was a fairy tale cake
有城♥堡♥和好多塔楼
with a castle and turrets
但是都做得很像大鸡鸡
that looked like, well, penises.
然后我就跟面点师说新做一个蛋糕
But I told the baker on this cake,
绝对不能出现鸡鸡
absolutely no penis,
然后他竟然把我的话直接写在上面了
and he, you know, took me literally.
牧师我觉得吃掉这样的蛋糕
Well, reverend, I suppose there's nothing sinful
应该没什么罪过吧
about eating a cake like that.
就是卡路里爆棚
Just the calories.
各位我知道西蒙原本打算
Everyone, I know Simon was planning
今晚来祝词的
to make the toast tonight,
但此刻他似乎不在
but he doesn't seem to be here at the moment.
我猜他应该是有更重要的事要去做吧
I--I guess he had something better to do,
就是他当年糟蹋了少女时期的乔依
not to besmirch the name of the man
让她怀孕然后抛弃了她
who knocked Joy up as a teenager, left her,
又重新回来过几次让她一次又一次心碎
and returned several times just to break her heart again.
我说话说偏题了
But I digress.
敬爱
To love.
初恋敬初恋
First love. Here's to first love!
西蒙
Simon?
你在哪儿呢
Where are you?
我在上面的通风管道里
I'm up above in the air duct!
鲍勃把我锁在了衣柜里
Bob locked me in the closet,
但我爬到了天花板上一路爬到了这里
but I burst through the ceiling and crawled my way over here.
真是一个荒唐的男人在说些胡话
What a ridiculous story from a ridiculous man.
在这欢乐的场合
You know, on this happy occasion,
真的容易让人情不自禁地想起伟大的加拿大喜剧演员
it's hard not to think of the great canadian comedian
霍华德·霍伊·曼德尔
Howard "Howie" Mandel.
或是伟大的苏格兰诗人谢利·麦克莱恩她曾说过
Or the great scottish poet Shirley Maclaine, who said:
%&O**(&*)
苏格兰语吗听着跟克林贡语一样
Scottish? Sounds like klingon.
乔依现在是我的了西蒙
Joy is mine now, Simon.
她不会再重回你的怀抱了
She's never coming back to you.
她会再次属于我的鲍勃
She'll be mine again, Bob.
你等着瞧吧
You wait and see.
打住
Stop it.
你们把预排晚宴都毁了
You're ruining the rehearsal dinner.
无所谓了
It doesn't matter.
婚礼取消了
There's not gonna be a wedding.
安安你在说什么啊
Andi, what are you saying?
梅兰妮维多利亚和爱尔卡下午到我房♥里
Melanie and Victoria and Elka came to my room this afternoon
改变了我对于结婚这事的想法
and changed my mind about getting married.
-你们什么 -不安安
- You what? - Oh, no, Andi.
我们是想让你相信婚姻是很美好的
We were reassuring you that marriage is good,
因为你之前在电梯里说你畏缩了[脚冷]because in the elevator, you said you had cold feet.
什么
What?
我指的是我是否该穿凉鞋
I was talking about whether I should wear sandals
配婚纱因为我的脚可能会冷的
with my wedding dress, 'cause my feet might be cold.
欧文我不想结婚的另一个原因
Owen, the other reason I can't go through with the wedding is,
就是我根本不相信婚姻了
how can I believe in marriage
因为我的生父跟维多利亚有奸♥情♥
when my own father is having an affair with Victoria?
什么
What?
别否认了
Don't deny it.
我不小心听到你们在走廊的谈话了
I overheard you two whispering in the hall.
不是的亲爱的
Oh, no, sweetheart.
我跟她之间没有奸♥情♥
We're not--we are not having an affair.
维多利亚和我当时说话很小声
Victoria and I were whispering
因为我们曾是高中同学
because we went to high school together,
她当时乞求我
and she was begging me
不要告诉任何人我们毕业的年份是19...
not to tell everyone that we graduated in 19--
真是闹的一出好戏啊妈
Well, nice scene, mom.
你之前保证过不会让我难堪的
You promised you wouldn't embarrass me.
我很抱歉欧文
I'm sorry, Owen.
但这一次我一定会补救好的
But this time, I'm gonna fix it.
各位麻烦坐下保持安静
Everyone, sit down and be quiet.
安安你明天一定要结婚
Andi, you're getting married tomorrow,
因为你爱我的儿子
because you love my son.