燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E12

Part 2 May 4, 2020, 8:24 a.m.

Again, which time?
我接受了你的建议
Well, I took your advice.
我本想在美国这边找个炮♥友♥的
And I tried to find a sex partner in the States,
但是根本约不到
but that was a no-go.
于是我一路向北去找我的备胎了
So I headed north to my fall-back girl
然后就把她推倒了
and...back she fell.
我相信你一定会是位出色的父亲
I'm sure you'll be a wonderful father.
我必须尽到我的责任乔依
Well, I'm gonna do my duty, Joy.
我会尽快结婚的
I'm gonna get married as soon as possible.
但这整件事跟我原本的构想完全不一样
This whole thing isn't what I had pictured for myself.
你原本为自己所做的构想是怎样的
What did you picture for yourself?
亲爱滴我把宝宝的超声波图复♥制♥了好几张
Sweetheart, I made copies of our sonogram.
一张给我妈一张放在你的办公桌上亲爱的
One for my mom, one for your desk, darling,
这里还多一张是给你的乔依
and here's an extra one for you, Joy.
谢谢了你们的宝宝很漂亮
Thank you. Your baby's beautiful.
当然了就跟他老爸一样
Of course he is. Just like his dad.
听着乔依我想道个歉
Listen, Joy, I wanted to apologize.
我们之前说话时我可能因荷尔蒙大爆发有点激动
I may have been a little hormonal when we spoke earlier.
荷尔蒙大爆发当然了
Hormonal. Of course.
我接受你的道歉
Apology accepted.
祝你们两个都好运了
Well, good luck. To both of you.
是我们三个我鲍勃勃和小鲍勃勃
To all three of us. Me, Bob Bob, and Bob Bob Bob.
嘿爱尔卡
Hey, Elka.
我有事要说
I have some news.
这真是个大灾难
This is a disaster.
那个草包保镖已经跟着我一整天了
That sad-sack bodyguard has been with me all day
但却一个狗仔队都没有
and no paparazzi.
唯一的嗡嗡声就是他的嗓音在我耳朵里回荡的声音
Ugh, the only drone was his voice in my ear,
唠叨着那个离他而去的女人
whining about the girl who got away.
我有事要说
I have some news.
一切正式完了加拿大乔依怀孕了
It's over. Canadian Joy is pregnant.
什么
What?
人家还有超声波扫描图作证明
And here's the sonogram to prove it.
等一下
Wait a minute.
这不是鲍勃的孩子这是希洛·皮特
This isn't Bob's baby, this is Shiloh Pitt.
什么
What?
你怎么可能知道这个呢
How could you possibly know that?
因为这是有史以来被贴上网的
Well, because, it's the most famous sonogram
最出名的一张超声波扫描图
ever to be posted on the internet.
我可以一眼认出皮特和朱莉美丽的胎儿
I'd recognize Brad and Angelina's beautiful fetus
比我认出自己的胎儿还要快
before I'd recognize my own.
天啊
Oh, my God.
这意味着加拿大乔依并没有真的怀孕
This means Canadian Joy isn't really pregnant.
-我要打给鲍勃 -我有事要说
- I'm calling Bob. - I have some news.
该死进入语♥音♥信箱了
Ugh--voicemail.
鲍勃你不能娶加拿大乔依
Bob? You can't marry Canadian Joy.
单独在办公室见我我会解释清楚的
Meet me alone at the office and I'll explain.
不好意思爱尔卡你刚刚是想说什么吗
Sorry, Elka, you wanted to say something?
市长死了
The mayor is dead.
死在了我床上
In my bed.
市长死了吗
The mayor is dead?
死在了我床上
In my bed!
天啊市长竟然死了
Oh, my God. The mayor is dead?
发生什么事了啊
What happened?
你真的想听细节吗
You really want details?
他是想在我面前秀一下
He was trying to impress me
他可以做多少个"俯卧撑"
with how many push-ups he could do
是在我身上"做"
on top of me.
好吧那接下来我们该怎么办
All right, so--so, what are we gonna do?
打电♥话♥给警方医院还是法医
Call the police, the hospital, the coroner?
不能打电♥话♥
No calls.
我不希望这事毁了他的名声
I don't want this to ruin his legacy.
爱尔卡说得对
Elka's right.
每次有名人在做♥爱♥时死掉
Every time someone famous dies having sex,
当他们的名字被提及时
that's the first thing people think about
人们第一个想到的就是这个
when their name is mentioned.
那我们该如何处理他的尸体啊
Then what do we do with the body?
就跟我们处理州长尸体的方式那样
Exactly what we did with the governor's body
就是我那部生活台原创电影里的情节
in my Lifetime original movie,
名字就叫《我们该如何处理州长的尸体》
what Do We Do With the Governor's Body?
我们好像没看过那部电影
Say we didn't get around to seeing that particular movie.
好吧
Oh, fine.
我们偷偷把市长的尸体弄回他的公♥寓♥里
All right, we sneak the mayor's body back into his mansion,
放在他自己的床上然后大家都会认为
put him back in his own bed and then everyone thinks
他是在睡梦中悄然去世的
he died peacefully in his sleep.
是鲍勃
It's Bob.
他正赶去办公室见我
He's heading to the office to meet me.
我得走了祝我们大家都好运
I've got to go. Good luck to us all.
你也是亲爱的
Oh, you too, honey.
好了我们要如何搬运市长的尸体啊
Okay so, how do we move the mayor?
我从没想到过我会说出这话
I never thought I would say this,
但克劳德或许可以帮上忙
but Claude might be helpful.
不你说得很对
No, that's true.
但不能让他知道他搬运的是什么
He just can't know what he's moving.
我们必须把尸体包裹起来
We have to hide the body in something.
我想到了
I know!
我们可以把他包裹在地毯里
We can hide him in a rug
就跟他们在《唐顿庄园》第一季里的做法一样
like they did the first season of Downton Abbey.
那真是太完美了
That's perfect.
你们倒是看了那部剧啊
Oh, so that, you watch.
好了快出来前方安全
Okay, come on. The coast is clear.
我们为什么要偷偷摸摸把这个地毯搬出你家啊
Why are we sneaking this rug out of your house?
这是我们针对乔依玩的一个恶作剧
It's a prank we're playing on Joy.
真够精彩的
Hmm, good one.
这让我想到了《唐顿庄园》
This reminds me of Downton Abbey.
你们知道剧中的地毯里装的是什么吗一具尸体
You know what was in that rug? A dead body.
过去人们经常这么做呢
People used to do stuff like that.
好吧但那部剧实在太离谱了
Yeah, but that show's so unbelievable.
我的鞋在这里啊
There's my shoe!
瞧啊狗仔队无人偷♥拍♥机又来了
Oh, look. My paparazzi drone is back.
回去快回屋
Inside. Back inside!
别再侵犯我的隐私了
Stop invading my privacy.
我穿上这么靓丽的衣服
I didn't put on this gorgeous outfit
化上这么完美的日妆可不是给你看的
and perfect daytime makeup for you.
迪米
Timmy!
别再用那架傻兮兮的飞机打扰邻居们了
Stop bothering our neighbors with that stupid drone.
迪米
Timmy?
迪米
Timmy.
各位我有个悲惨的消息要宣布
Everyone, I have a devastating announcement to make.
那架傻兮兮的无人机是那个怪胎邻居小孩的
That stupid drone outside belongs to that creepy neighbor kid
就是几个月前到我们家来讨糖的那个
who came to our house a few months ago demanding candy.
维多利亚那天是万圣节
Victoria, it was Halloween.
你好啊迪米
Hello, Timmy.
抱歉我的无人机打扰到你们了
Sorry about the drone.
你搞那玩意儿干什么啊
Well, what are you doing with that thing, anyway?
你为什么要跟踪我啊
And why were you following me?
以及我那架无人机盘旋在我的窗外
And me--that drone was outside my window
当时我刚刚出浴...
when I got out of my shower--
天啊你到底看到了多少啊
Oh, my God. How much did you see?
都看到了
Both of them.
滚回家去
Go home!
那孩子让我想起了我当年这么大的时候
That kid reminds me of me at that age.
现在也是的
And now.
克劳德不如你把车开到后门去吧
Claude, why don't you bring the car around back.
我们会从那里把地毯搬出去的
We'll carry the rug out that way.
或许你们该好好把这地毯清洗一下
Maybe you guys should get this rug cleaned.
闻着一股死尸味儿
It smells like something died in it.
没有狗仔队的无人拍摄机
So, no paparazzi drone.
那架玩具无人机也是在窥探梅梅
And the one we did have was spying on Mel,
不是在窥探我
and not on me.
我们还是得把市长给处理掉啊