燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E13

Part 3 May 4, 2020, 8:24 a.m.

Well, I get that.
我跟你做一笔交易吧
But I'll make you a deal.
你说服大家给我的剧好评
You convince people to give my show a good review,
我就会忘记我看到的一切
and I'll forget that I ever saw anything.
就这样吗
That's it?
你在这里干什么
Well, what are you doing here?
你来这里干什么
What are you doing here?
我是来找她的
I'm here to see her.
我知道你干的好事
I know what you did.
大家都知道了吗
Does everybody know what I did?
她就是另一个情妇她朝市长开的枪
She's the other mistress. She shot the mayor.
什么
What?
你刚才指的是什么
What were you talking about?
就这个啊
That.
我骗不下去了
I can't lie anymore.
包括杀人的事
Not about the murder.
以及维多利亚的剧其实很好看
Not about Victoria's show being good.
我要去找警♥察♥自首
I'm just gonna go to the police and confess.
放松放松
Just take it easy.
没必要把警♥察♥卷进来
Now, there's no need to get the police involved.
其实你并没有杀死市长
The truth is you didn't kill the mayor.
是爱尔卡害他突发心脏病的
Elka gave him a heart attack.
在床上
In bed.
他是在和爱的人做♥爱♥做的事时死的
He died doing someone he loved.
就这么定了
So it's agreed,
我们不跟警♥察♥说是你开的枪
we won't tell the police that you were the shooter,
但爱尔卡和市长的关系
and you will keep your mouth closed
你必须保密
about Elka and the mayor's relationship.
成交
Done.
你们跟同一个男人搞上了
Oh, you two with the same man.
竟然还说我的剧没有可信度
And yet my show is unbelievable.
天呐
Oh, my God.
什么你找到我的计步器了吗
What? Did you find my fitbit?
我看着乔依难以相信我真的跟她在一起了
I just looked at Joy, and I can't believe I'm with her.
所以你没有找到
So no, you did not find it.
鲍勃我好幸运
Oh, Bob, I'm so lucky.
来完成我们的初吻吧
Let's have that first kiss.
不要现在
Not now.
为什么
Why?
我们都希望我们能有一个完美初吻
Well, we both want our first kiss to be perfect,
但现在我觉得我好胖
and right now I-- I feel fat.
我吃了个甜甜圈其实根本不饿
I ate a donut. I wasn't even hungry.
我恨我自己我真恶心
I--I hate myself. I'm hideous.
你为了一个甜甜圈就苛责自己
You're beating yourself up over one donut.
我是不是漏了说"一打"
Did I leave out the word "dozen"?
你好啊梅兰妮
Hello, Melanie.
德恩你怎么进来的
Dane, how did you get in here?
这是被封锁的犯罪现场啊不准媒体进入的
This is a sealed crime scene. No press allowed.
我知道但门口的女警
I know, but the policewoman at the door
搜了我好几次身就让我进来了
patted me down a few times and let me right in.
你来这里干什么
What are you doing here?
我来这里
Well, um, I'm here to, um,
为下一位代理市长准备房♥间
prepare the room for the next acting mayor,
这两位是装♥修♥设计师
and these are the decorators.
没错我是个装♥修♥设计师
Yes, I'm a decorator,
你这个帅哥呀
you handsome guy, you.
你是基佬吗
You're gay?
你刚刚不是说要吻她吗
I thought I just heard you talking about kissing her.
我面对乔依时是直男
Well, I'm straight for Joy.
但我面对设计时就是弯男
I'm just gay for design.
我们昨晚喜结良缘
We became a couple last night,
但我们还没进行初吻呢
but we haven't had our first kiss yet.
初吻可不需要规划
You don't plan your first kiss.
是直接夺取的
You take it.
就该像这样亲吻女人才对
That is how you kiss a woman.
没错
Yes.
没错爽化了
Yes, it is.
我原本还希望能挖到什么隐情呢
Well, I was hoping that there was a story here,
如果真有的话你们肯定已经发现了
but if there was I guess you guys would have found it.
如果我的写作事业是一句话的话
If my writing career were a sentence,
那这就是句末的那个大句号♥了
this would be that dot thing at the end of it.
德恩我相信你是个出色的记者
Dane, I'm sure you're a terrific journalist.
找一个能激起你兴趣的东西
Just find something that interests you
然后针对那个进行写作吧
and then write about that.
谢谢梅兰妮
Thanks, Melanie.
你对我这么有信心让我很受感动
It means a lot that you believe in me.
没什么刚刚那个吻真是爽爆了
Yes, well, that was a really great kiss.
确实对吧
It was, wasn't it?
嘿这是什么啊
Hey, what is this?
似乎是某人的计步器啊
Well, looks like somebody's fitbit.
是我的我的计步器
That's mine! My fitbit.
我之前合法地进来时不小心掉下的
I dropped it when I was legitimately here.
等等合法地进来
Wait. Legitimately here?
为什么你无论说什么话都那么萌啊
Why is everything you say so darn cute?
我们已经把爱尔卡的DNA从尸体身上清理掉了
Well, we've cleaned the body of Elka's dna,
让证人守口如瓶
silenced the witnesses,
在犯罪现场也没有可以被控诉的证据了
and there's no incriminating evidence at the crime scene.
问题解决专家已经解决了一切
The fixers have fixed it.
-好棒 -谢天谢地
- Yes. - Thank goodness.
现在应该是接吻的最佳时机吧
One might say that now is the perfect moment for a kiss.
没错
One might.
等等
Hold on!
我知道你跟市长有私情
I know that you were having an affair with the mayor
你们两个搬运了尸体
and that you two moved the body.
拜托
Oh, come on!
市长是自然死亡的
The mayor died of natural causes.
你之前都说了你已经不再挖这事了
You said you weren't chasing this story anymore.
我没有挖
I wasn't.
但梅兰妮给了我一些好建议
But Melanie gave me some good advice.
她让我去寻找自己真正感兴趣的东西
She told me to find something I'm interested in.
不幸的是我的兴趣在她身上
And unfortunately, I'm interested in her.
真的咩
Really?
他说的是"不幸的是" 梅兰妮
He said "unfortunately," Melanie.
我发现你最近向警方投诉了
I found out you recently filed a complaint
你们邻居家小孩和他的无人偷♥拍♥机
with the police against your neighbor's kid and his camera drone.
我看了他拍的照片
I looked at his pictures,
尽管其中大部分是梅兰妮的裸照
and while most of them were of Melanie naked...
天啊
Oh, my god.
然后呢
And?
你的身体很美
You have a gorgeous body.
同意
Agreed.
鲍勃
Bob!
前提是你喜欢曲线玲珑的身材不
If you like curves. Blegh, no!
我喜欢直挺挺的平板身材谢谢
Straight up and down for me, thank you.
但它拍到了市长进入爱尔卡房♥里的画面
But there was a shot of the mayor going into Elka's house.
那又怎样我们是在交往啊
So? We were seeing each other.
还有一张照片
And there was another shot of
显示你和梅兰妮拖着卷起来的地毯
you and Melanie dragging a rolled-up rug
而市长的脚从一端伸出来了
with the mayor's foot sticking out of one end.
你不知道什么叫前戏吗
Would you believe foreplay?
你打算如何处理这些信息
What are you planning on doing with this information?
如果我在乎法律那我肯定已经报♥警♥了
Well, if I cared about the law, I'd call the police.
如果我在乎我的工作那我就把真♥相♥写出来了
If I cared about my job, I'd write the story.
但现在我只在乎你
But right now, I only care about you.
德恩
Oh, Dane.
如果德恩能发现那些照片
Well, if Dane could find these photos,
那警方迟早也会发现的
sooner or later the police are gonna find them too.
我们需要个对策
We need a plan.
鲍勃说得对
Bob's right.
现在只有一个办法了
There's only one thing to do.
整件事就是这样的