燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E15

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 8:25 a.m.

燃情
克利夫兰
第六季第十五集
《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
鲍勃从加拿大寄来份礼物
Bob sent a gift from Canada.
我现在的生活真是太美好了
Oh, my life is so good right now.
其实我们大家现在的生活都堪称美满
Actually, all of our lives are just about perfect right now.
你和德恩一起很幸福
You're happy with Dane.
你的HBO电视剧也即将首播
Your HBO series is about to premiere.
打住
Stop.
千万别招灾惹祸
Don't tempt the evil eye.
你在胡说什么呢
What are you talking about?
在波兰的时候我妈刚说完"生活好美满"
In Poland, my mother said, "everything is perfect."
转天早上纳粹就入侵了
The next morning, the Nazis invaded.
我的天啊
Oh, God.
我还起了一颗特别大的痘
And I got the worst pimple.
就在这儿
It was right here.
真是太扫兴了
Literally ruin your day.
我真的很喜欢收礼物
Oh, I do love getting gifts.
鲍勃真是个可心的人儿
Bob is such a doll.
我的天
Oh, my God.
鲍勃是个"小人儿"
Bob is a doll.
他做了一个和自己长得一样的娃娃
He had a doll made to look like himself?
这是我见过的最让人心神不宁的玩意儿了
That is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen,
我可是和唐纳德·特雷普经历过"狂风暴雨"的人
and I have been in a windstorm with Donald Trump.
这儿还有个字条
There's a note.
我的小侦探
My little detective,
从未有人如我这般全心热恋
never has a heart been as full as mine.
真会甜言蜜语
Oh, that's sweet.
这真是个独一无二体贴周到
It really is a unique, thoughtful...
却让人毛骨悚然的礼物
ultimately creepy gift.
小鲍勃撞到头了
Oh, little Bob hit his head.
不许给它起名字
Don't give it a name.
现在才是鲍勃
Oh, that's him now.
乔依你收到我的礼物了吗
Hey, Joy. Did you get my gift?
收到了
I did.
你给它宽衣解带了吗
Have you undressed him yet?
还没呢我都等不及了
Not yet. Can't wait.
你的头怎么了
What's wrong with your head?
我撞到头了还挺严重的
Oh, I... I banged it real bad.
跟小鲍勃一样
Just like little Bob.
等我一下别挂电♥话♥好吗
Actually, can you hang on a second?
我得去拿些冰块
I'm just gonna run and get some ice.
这可真是太诡异了
Wow, that is really weird.
有没有可能小鲍勃身上发生什么事
What if everything that happens to little Bob
稍大点的鲍勃就会遭遇同样的事
happens to slightly larger Bob?
这可能是个巫♥毒♥娃♥娃♥
Maybe it's a voodoo doll.
根本不存在什么巫♥毒♥娃♥娃♥
There is no such thing as voodoo.
如果我扭这个娃娃的胳膊不可能会...
If I twist the doll arm, it's not like, you know...
鲍勃你怎么了怎么回事
Bob, what happened? What's the matter?
我不知道我刚扭到肩膀了
Oh, I don't know. I just tweaked my shoulder.
我回头再打给你好吗
I'll call you back, okay?
不许说出来
Don't say it.
你得承认这真是够诡异的
Well, you got to admit, that's kind of weird.
-巫毒 -巫毒
- Voodoo. - Voodoo.
肯定是德恩来了
Oh, that's got to be Dane.
听着我提前跟大家说一下
Listen, guys, just so you know,
他今天早上被解雇了所以他也许会有点小脆弱
he got laid off this morning, so he might be a little fragile.
你好宝贝
Hey, babe.
你好亲爱的
Hi, honey.
出什么事了吗
Something wrong?
我没事但你丢了工作
Well, not with me, but you lost your job.
我没事
I'm fine.
打了会儿球听了几首喷火战机乐队的歌♥
Hit a bucket of balls, listened to some Foo Fighters.
我已经忘了那事了
I'm over it.
来杯冰啤倒也是极好的
Wouldn't say no to a cold beer though.
各位女士们好啊
Hello, ladies.
小鲍勃好
Little Bob.
我对你被解雇的事深感遗憾
I'm so sorry you got fired.
你想聊聊此刻心里的感受吗
Do you want to talk about how you're feeling?
不想
Not really.
那你想聊聊
Do you want to talk about
为什么你不愿意聊自己的感受吗
why you don't want to talk about your feelings?
不想
Not really.
为什么
Why?
因为我是个爷们儿
'Cause I'm a guy.
如果男人肯谈谈自己的内心感受
Well, don't you think the world would be better
你不认为世界会因此而更美好吗
if guys talked about their feelings?
不认为
Not really.
反正我时刻在你身边支持你
Well, I'm here for you.
你是又开始抽烟了吗
Did you start smoking again?
可能我是有些压力
Maybe I'm a little stressed.
我想我能帮助你
Well, I think I can help.
乔依戒烟有一段日子了
Joy stopped smoking a while ago.
她楼上有些尼古丁贴片
She has some nicotine patches upstairs.
我去给你拿几贴
I'll get them for you.
我和你一起去
I'll go with you.
我们可以疯狂做♥爱♥
We can have sex.
你那么沮丧还有心思做吗
Aren't you too upset to have sex?
你这话实在是太可爱了
You say the cutest things.
阿利
Ari!
维多利亚
Victoria.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
你知道我为什么是个出色的经纪人吗
You know why I'm a great agent?
因为我在好莱坞是头号♥无赖
'Cause I'm the biggest bastard in Hollywood.
庆幸吧我是你的无赖
Luckily, I'm your bastard.
等一下
Wait a minute.
既然你大老远从洛杉矶飞过来
If you flew all the way from LA,
那你肯定是有我那部HBO电视剧的重大消息
then you must have some big news about my HBO show.
没错重大消息
I do. Huge news.
是什么情况
So what is it?
他们把你的戏份都砍了
They're cutting you out of the show.
他们为什么砍掉我的戏份
Why did they cut me from the show?
是他们觉得我演技很差吗
Did they think my acting was bad?
听到这个你会笑出声的他们没说具体原因
You're gonna laugh at this, but they had no specific reason.
这有什么可让我发笑的
Why would that make me laugh?
因为告诉我的那个家伙口音很好笑
Well, the guy who told me had a funny accent.
这简直就是灭顶之灾
This is a disaster.
如果他们不说为什么弃用我
If they won't say why I was fired,
那大家会开始编造各种离谱的谣言
then people will start making up all sorts of crazy rumors...
什么虽然我是女主角
That I'm a diva,
但是我毫无天赋我的职业生涯就完蛋了
that I'm untalented, my career is over.
他们不会这么说的
They won't say those things.
但是千万别看今天的《综艺》网站
But don't check today's Variety.
我现在需要做些什么
I need something right away
向大家证明我还能接到戏
to show people that I can still get work.
眼下还有其他项目供我挑选吗
Now, are there any options out there for me?
还有其他选择吗
Are there any options?
有两个选择呢
There are two:
去罗马尼亚拍摄一部低成本电影
a low-budget picture shot in Romania
或者就在克利夫兰接演一部话剧
or a play at a theater right here in Cleveland.
我选择去拍电影
I'll take the movie.
根本没有电影可拍
There is no movie.
什么
What?
我只是想让你以为自己还有选择的余地
I just wanted you to think you had some options.
我以为你肯定会选演话剧的
I thought surely you'd take the play.
但是影星们只有在接不到戏的时候
But local theater is what movie stars do
才会沦落到去本地剧院演话剧
when they can't get any work.
所以才适合你啊
Which is why you're perfect for this.
维多利亚我知道你认为去本地剧院有失身份
Victoria, I know you think that local theater is beneath you,
但是你在话剧中会大施拳脚的
but you'll be great in the play.
会吗