燃情克利夫兰

Hot in Cleveland S06E10

Part 1 May 4, 2020, 8:24 a.m.

燃情
克利夫兰
第六季第十集
《燃情克利夫兰》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
Hot in cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
猜猜麦当娜杰米·李·柯蒂斯和我
Guess what Madonna, Jamie Lee Curtis, and I
有何共同之处
have in common.
都和沃伦·贝迪睡过吗
Slept with Warren Beatty?
不是
No.
巅峰都在80年代吗
Peaked in the '80s?
不是别再乱猜了
No, stop guessing.
我们都是大明星
We're all celebrities
而且同为少儿图书作家
who are also children's book writers.
你写过儿童读物吗
You've written a children's book?
写过和即将动笔写有何不同呢
"Have written," "will write, " what's the difference?
重点在于你我将共同联手
The important thing is, we're doing this together.
你想邀我和你一起写书吗
You want me to work on your book with you?
和我一起写或替我代笔写
Work with me, work instead of me,
又有何不同呢
what's the difference?
其实呢我打算同意
You know what? I'm in.
我一直想写一本少儿读物
I've always wanted to write a children's book.
以前我就爱给孩子们编故事
Oh, I used to love making up stories for my kids.
我也如此
Oh, me too.
我最爱的故事是
My favorite was,
妈妈爱死你们在校园剧中的演出了
mommy loved you in the school play,
但你们没看到我
but you didn't see me
因为当时我坐在最后一排
because I was in the very last row.
这个故事我可是讲过很多遍
Oh, I told that one again and again.
老天
Oh, my god.
我刚得知我妹妹要来克利夫兰了
I just found out my sister's coming to Cleveland.
你还有个妹妹
You have a sister?
她当了20年的修女
She's been a nun for the last 20 years.
她和我截然不同
She's nothing like me.
至少你们都经常跪着"做事"啊
Well, you both spend a lot of time on your knees.
事实上她已经决意离开修道院了
Actually, she's decided to leave the convent.
哇那她重返现实世界可要好好适应一番了
Wow, that's gonna be a big adjustment for her out in the real world.
超可怜的吉尔
Poor, poor Jill.
她一直过得乱七八糟的
She's always been a bit of a mess.
笨手笨脚且胆小如鼠
Clumsy and mousy,
指望着她美丽动人魅力四射的姐姐来保护她
looking to her beautiful, glamorous sister for protection.
美丽动人且魅力四射的女人
Oh, the beautiful and glamorous
确实肩负重任
do bear a lot of responsibility.
「承担责任」正是我昨天
You know, responsibility was actually the theme
电台节目的主题
of my radio show yesterday.
-你们有人听了吗 -我听了
- Did anybody hear it? - I did.
但是你没看到我
But you didn't see me
因为当时我坐在最后一排
because I was in the very last row.
身为你的助理我已经编不出任何借口
As your assistant, I'm running out of excuses
解释你为什么缺席市议会了
for why you're not at city council meetings.
那今天你怎么跟大家说的
What did you tell them today?
说你有一个实地考察任务
That you were on a fact-finding mission
要找到克利夫兰最好喝的啤酒
to find the best beer in Cleveland.
你的确没撒谎啊
Well, you weren't lying.
对于你即将为我们英国姐妹城市举办的派对
Well, everyone's excited about the party you're hosting
大家都兴奋不已
for our sister city in England,
你知道很棒的一点是什么吗
and you know what's fascinating?
我们姐妹城市的名字也是克利夫兰
Our sister city is also called Cleveland.
我当然知道什么才叫棒
I do know what's fascinating,
但绝非如你所言
and that isn't it.
我们的特邀嘉宾是克利夫兰郡的伯爵
Now, the guest of honor is the Earl of Cleveland.
我们得学习下外交礼仪
We need to go over protocol,
以免你又引发一场国际冲突事件
so you don't create another international incident,
就像上个月你对那位德国市长所做的事一样
like you did with that German mayor last month.
什么冲突事件我那是开了个玩笑
What incident? I was making a joke.
你将一把梳子架在鼻子底下
You put a comb under your nose
还在他身后踢正步
and goose-stepped behind him.
我看那天我还是实地考察啤酒吧
I may have been testing beer that day too.
爱尔卡梅米·苏
Elka, Mamie Sue,
这是我妹妹吉尔
this is my sister Jill.
-能一起吗 -当然可以
- May we? - Of course.
这杯酒是吧台那位先生请你的
This is from that gentleman at the bar.
男人永远都无法抗拒你的魅力
Men have always found you irresistible.
很可能是因为她来者不拒
Probably 'cause she doesn't resist.
事实上从小到大
Actually, growing up,
即使她是和心爱的男孩儿在一起
even if she was with a boy she liked,
她也会一直照顾我
she'd always look out for me.
每次我摔倒的时候
But any time I took a tumble,
她肯定现身扶起我
she'd be right there to pick me up,
掸掉我身上的土说"给我站起来小妞儿"
dust me off, and say, "on your feet, cabbage,"
谁嘲笑我都会被她揍得头破血流
And then she'd punch whoever laughed at me in the throat.
我能问问你为什么不再当修女了吗
May I ask why you quit being a nun?
是因为你为人轻浮不负责任
Is it because you're a flibbertigibbet,
《音乐之声》中众嬷嬷
对玛利亚的评价
蛊惑人心还耍宝现眼吗
a will-o'-the-wisp, a clown?
我只是感受不到主的召唤了
I didn't feel I had the calling anymore,
所以才离开的
so I left.
你这理由肯定让大家惊得挑断眉毛了吧
I bet that raised a lot of eyebrow.
怎么了只有我觉得她眉毛快连一起了吗
What? Am I the only one who sees it?
爱尔卡在克利夫兰郡的派对上
Elka, that is exactly the kind of joke
你千万不能和伯爵开这种玩笑
you can't make at the party for the Earl of Cleveland.
克利夫兰郡的伯爵要来这里吗
The Earl of Cleveland is coming here?
珀西·伦诺克斯·戈多
Percy Lennox Gordo.
排在第47位的王位继承人
47th in line to the throne.
你们愿意参加我们为他举办的派对吗
Would you like to come to the party we're throwing for him?
愿意谁知道会发生什么
Yes! And who knows?
也许我们四目相对深情凝视
Maybe he sees me. I see him.
接下来的事顺理成章
One thing leads to another,
前面46个继承人都遭遇了不幸事故
and 46 unfortunate accidents later,
我摇身一变就是英国王后
I'm queen of England.
我不是很想去
I don't think I want to come.
我不大擅长参加派对
I'm not very good at parties.
可怜的吉尔
Oh, poor Jill.
我一定会让你玩得开心的
I'll make sure you have a good time.
我可以借漂亮的衣服给你穿
You can borrow my clothes,
或许顺便把你这眉毛也修一修
and maybe we can take care of some of this too.
我和爱尔卡打算去美容院
Elka and I are going to the beauty salon.
你可以和我们一起啊
You can come with us.
这主意真棒
That's a great idea.
我当年也差点成为一名修女
I almost became a nun,
但后来我知道那种大修女帽并不能让人飞起来
but then I learned that those big hats don't really make you fly,
即使风再大也不行
even on a really windy day.
何况我还喜欢和男人做♥爱♥
And I liked sex with men.
就算是一本少儿读物
Okay, even though it's a children's book,
工作量也是蛮大的
there is a lot to do.
一旦有了创意之后
Once we come up with our idea,
我们要先列一个提纲
we're gonna have to do an outline,
然后初稿第二稿
first draft, second draft,
我们应该半年内可以完工
and then we should be done in six months.
太棒了周一是截稿日
That's great. It's due Monday.
什么
What?
另外编辑今天会过来
And the editor's coming by today
看看我们写得如何了
to see what we've got.
-什么 -别一脸惊讶
- What? - Don't act surprised.
都给我们整整一年时间写这点儿东西了
We've had a whole year to come up with something.
什么
What?
人家已经给了你整整一年的时间
You have had a whole year?
不是给了我们整整一年的时间
No, we have had a whole year.
我一直跟编辑说我有位拍档
I told him that I've had a collaborator all this time,
这样说能让他放宽心
you know, to put him at ease.
他认为演员都是懒惰又靠不住的
He thinks that actors are lazy and unreliable.
这种老套偏见什么时候才是头啊
When will that stereotype end?
吉尔从美容院回来了吗
Is Jill back from her makeover?
-没还没有 -可怜的姑娘