格拉夫斯（2016）

前总统Richard Graves之子
非法移♥民♥数量激增
前总统Richard Graves之子
Jeremy Graves谈投票权
怎样整改医保社保政策
当地英雄 JEREMY GRAVES从阿富汗归国 前总统之子
怎么了?
我警告过你了
对不起了 兄弟
要是你买♥♥张机票
我们过几天见个面
你觉得怎么样?
好啊
普雷斯科特 亚利桑那州
总统填坑记 前情提要
Previously on "Graves"...
明天在Treadwell的假释会上 做你认为对的
Do what's right tomorrow at the Treadwell parole thing.
这个人的母亲不应该抱着他病态的行径
This guy's mother shouldn't die
都是自己的责任这样的想法去世
thinking that what he did was in any way her fault.
Martin Treadwell被批准周末假释
Martin Treadwell has been granted a weekend furlough.
我现在不方便讲话 Jonathan
I can't talk now, Jonathan.
就一会儿
It'll only take a second.
RPAC(共和党政♥治♥行动大会)会议将提名您 总统先生
The RPAC conference is gonna honor you, Mr. President.
- 什么叫做"一家人" - 我怀孕了
- What do you mean "Family"? - I'm pregnant.
- Chuy 我不干了 - 你说?
- Chuy, I'm out. - Yeah?
史上最好的经纪人
The best fucking agent that ever lived
给你搞到了属于你自己的节目
got you your own show.
我母亲一直很敬爱您 先生
My mom always loved you, sir.
她支持Graves担任总统
She worked the Graves For President office
还挨家挨户地为您宣传
and worked door-to-door.
你要懂得转移他的注意
You need to learn to pivot,
将他从他决心跳下去的
direct him away from those cliffs
悬崖上拉回来
he's so hell-bent on going over.
那些我为您冒的险 为您撒的谎!
The risks that I've taken for you, the lies that I've told!
我不干了
I quit.
随后我享有了最高的荣誉
Then I graduated summa cum laude,
速成布丁俱乐部的主席
president of Hasty Pudding.
当然 这您应该有所耳闻
Of course, you might have read that.
我在哈佛的这三年半...
The three and a half years I spent at Harvard...
我提早了一学期毕业...
I graduated a semester early...
这段时间是极其珍贵的
were truly invaluable.
哈佛的小帅哥 是吧?
Harvard pretty boy, huh?
脸不能当饭吃 先生
I can't take credit for my looks, sir.
我要说的是 上帝给予了我双手
What can I say, God gave with both hands.
我不喜欢你
I don't like you.
我不需要您喜欢我 先生
I don't need you to like me, sir.
我的工作是协助您
My job is to assist.
然而 我有足够的信心
I do, however, have every confidence
当您看到我的成果
once you see what I bring to the table,
您会满意的
you'll feel differently.
不 不 我不会
No, no, I won't.
别为难Eric了 亲爱的
Go easy on Eric, darling.
他在Dick Cheney身边待了三年
He was Dick Cheney's body man for three years
Dick Cheney特别推荐他 称他为“超人”
and his recommendation for Eric used the word "Superstar".
谢谢您 夫人
Thank you, ma'am.
- Maggie 这些人是干啥的 - 你自己心知肚明
- Maggie, what's all this? - You know what this is.
我的选举并且我们要在公众前露脸...
My campaign and our appearances...
你得召回自己的保镖
you have to have your detail back.
这事没商量
It's not up for discussion.
你知道吗? 我有几个好消息要告诉你 亲爱的
And you know what? I have some good news, honey.
今年RPAC会议又邀你回去了
RPAC summit is inviting you back again this year.
再说一遍 我不会去参加的
And again, I'm not going to attend.
只是 老板 这次我们需要你接受邀请
Except, boss, this time we need you to accept.
他们将授予您里根奖(以美国前总统罗纳德·里根命名的新闻奖) 先生
They're giving you the Reagan Award, sir,
以赞誉您从政间带来的巨大变革
honoring your transformational presidency.
谁在乎啊? 他们还颁过奖给Dan Quayle(美国第44任总统) 不是吗?
Who cares? They gave that award to Dan Quayle, didn't they?
听着 这与任何奖项无关
Well , it's not about any award.
我需要你去那儿 我将在RPAC宣布我议员候选人的身份
I need you there. I'm gonna announce my Senate candidacy at RPAC.
Margaret Graves竞选议员 已经是板上钉钉的事了
Margaret Graves For Senate is officially a go.
到场的都是大咖
The attendee list is huge.
Kochs一家(致力于商业和慈善) Adelson(Sheldon Adelson,赌场大亨) Bushes一家 各路政要...
The Kochs, Adelson, Whitaker, the Bushes, the governor...
是的 因为他们都十分仰慕前总统您
Okay, so because they're honoring the former president,
会议将在圣塔菲召开 所以...
the summit is coming here to Santa Fe. So...
所以他们基本上就在为Margaret提供平台
So they're basically handing Margaret the platform.
这场聚会是为了凸显出他们对夫人的支持
It's the party showing full support.
这将是新的一章 我的小天使
It's a new chapter, angel.
是 是 新的一章
Oh, yes, yes. New chapter.
我要出去走走
I need to get out a bit.
我们先去Graves先生最喜欢的地方吃个便饭
We'll start with Mr. Graves' favorite spot for a bite.
应该是广场咖啡店 我说的没错吧
Plaza Coffee Shop, I believe.
然后 看您还有没有力气 先生
Then, depending on your energy level, sir,
再绕着广场走一周作为锻炼…
a walk around the square for some exercise...
别把这小子吓跑了
Do not hurt him.
快点 我们走
Quickly, let's go.
你好 妈妈
Hello, Mother.
我等这一刻已经很久了
I've been waiting a long time for this.
很久了
A long time.
让我给你解释一下 好吗?
Let me explain something to you, okay?
如果谷歌♥有权利浏览我的邮件
If Google has a right to read my emails
NSA(美国国♥家♥安♥全♥局)有偷♥窥♥我的手♥机♥
and the NSA has a right to tap my phones,
那我觉得我应该
then I feel like I should
有权利让我的小鸡鸡在公共场所透透气
have a right to walk around with my junk out
因为现在已经没什么隐私可言了
because privacy is dead.
听着 你跟我都足够幸运
Look, you and I got lucky and fell out of a vagina
恰巧在边境的右边出生
on the right side of the border.
这样的方法不能是唯一一个
That can't be the only way to decide
决定国籍归属的办法
who gets to be a citizen here.
这就像喝着公平贸易咖啡的人们
It's like people with fair trade coffee
更愿意在圣诞节发起购物战争(指黑五抢♥购♥大潮)
would rather fight a war on Christmas
也不愿意直击恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
than a war on ISIS.
就像我常说的
It's like I always say,
人们投出的票往往证跟他一样愚蠢
people are only as stupid as their vote.
医保就跟里诺(美国著名的"离婚城市")的妓♥女♥一样
Medicare is no different from hookers in Reno.
他们都想吸干♥你♥的血汗钱
They both want to suck you dry.
我走到你面前
I'm gonna come over there
把真♥相♥狠狠地砸在你脸上
and beat the truth into you.
- 你属于这里 Jeremy - 噢 你太客气了
- You belong here, Jeremy. - Oh, you're too kind.
你自己的半小时节目 没什么太花哨的东西
Your own half-hour show. Nothing fancy.
我们将会在阿尔伯克基(美国新墨西哥州中部大城)分部拍摄
We'll shoot it on the set at our affiliate in Albuquerque.
我们保证你的节目每周播出一次 好吗?
We guarantee you one show per week, all right?
在星期六晚六点
That's Saturdays at 6:00 P.M.
但是 你知道的 就你这吐槽万事万物的方式
But, you know, the way you're blowing up shit these days,
我们还会在黄金时间插播个三四次
we'll probably end up with three or four prime-time slots.
你就保持住你无敌的吐槽水准和愤青的姿态就好
Just keep that shit and the anger flowing.
好 当然 你不用担心 Doug
Yeah, well, you're not gonna have to worry about that, Doug.
我基本上就像个没底线的 尖酸刻薄的时事观察者
I'm basically like a bottomless well of acerbic observation.
还有 丑话说在前面
Also, just to be up front,
你会被问及关于你母亲和父亲的问题
you are gonna be asked about your mother and father.
我不会骗你
I'm not gonna lie to you,
我是说 回答那些问题是你魅力的最好体现
I mean, that's part of the whole appeal.
那是你的招牌所在 你懂吗?
That's part of your brand, you know?
刻薄的前总统儿子
Bitter former first son giving us
给我们带来他对家庭和社会的真实看法
a warts-and-all look into his family and the world.
嘿 如果他们开不起玩笑 那真是太操蛋了 不是吗?
Hey, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, right?
所以 我就要走了
So, I'm out of here.
我正在打包收拾 然后下周就离开了
I'm packing up and I'm leaving next week.
你要去哪儿?
Where you going?
我猜 所到即所想
Guess I'll know when I get there.
我是Eric 是Graves总统的新助理
I'm Eric, President Graves' new assistant.
等等 所以Isaiah真的永远离职了?
Wait, so Isaiah's gone for good?
你说谁? 没听说过他
Who? Never heard of him.
好吧 那真是糟透了
Well, that sucks.
我猜我不应该对他的离职感到那么惊讶
I guess I shouldn't be that surprised by it,
但我还是有点
but still.
你难过吗?
You upset about it?
不 别开玩笑了
No, don't be ridiculous.
我从没想他当我的助理 也没想让这小子当
I never wanted that kid. Don't want this kid either.
等我一下
Hold on a sec.