邓肯小镇

是我 他屁事都没做
It was me! He didn't do crap!
我才是你爱的那个心理变♥态♥
I'm the total psychopath you love!
是真的吗 邓肯
Is this true, Duncan?
嗯 我短暂离开了一会儿
Okay, Okay, I briefly abandoned my post,
但我亲自选中了她 跟她说了该怎么做
but I hand-picked her, and I told her exactly what to do.
我们能继续抛举你们的英雄吗
Now, can we please get back to hoisting your hero?
-金伯莉 -还有邓肯
- Kimberly! - And Duncan.
-金伯莉 金伯莉 -还有邓肯
- Kimberly, Kimberly! - And also Duncan.
乐队管家的生活最棒了
Roadies have the life, huh?
钱 女人 蛇 医保 退休金
Money, chicks, snakes, healthcare, pension.
我的天 艾利斯·库珀
Oh, my God. Alice Cooper!
能给我签名吗
Can I get an autograph?
抱歉 我不签名
Sorry, man. I don't do autographs.
我明白 库珀先生
I understand, Mr. Cooper.
我就是个傻傻的少年 而你是我的英雄
I'm just a stupid teenager, and you're just my hero.
小子 这样吧
Hey, kid, tell you what.
这是我们巡演最后一场
It's the last show of the tour,
我受够了拖着这个到处走
and I'm tired of lugging this thing around.
-你想要吗 -真的吗
- You want it? - For reals?
但是砍掉你的头是你每次巡演里
But chopping your head off is the highlight
最受人瞩目的环节
of every show of every tour.
充满未知
It's so unpredictable.
我知道 但我老婆讨厌我把它放在车♥库♥里
I know, but my wife hates me keeping it in the garage.
她说她受够了跟这垃圾生活在一起
She says she's "tired of living with this crap."
女人啊
Women.
你能打电♥话♥给我校长 对他吼
Could you please call my principal and yell,
暑期不用上学吗
"School's out for summer"?
不行 教育很重要
No. Education is very important.
至于毒品
And about drugs--
我知道 我知道 别碰
I know, I know. Don't do them.
随你便
Suit yourself.
我在干什么
What am I doing?
我听到了痛苦的嘶吼 是不是很顺利
I heard a tortured scream. Does it mean it's going well?
糟透了 这是我做过的最艰难的事
Horrible. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
杰克 你可是参加过海湾战争
Jack, you were in the Gulf War.
但这些对我很有意义
But this means something to me.
拜托
Oh, come on.
你上次来看这些东西是什么时候
When was the last time you even looked at this stuff?
我每天都看
I look at it every day.
有时我会在晚上过来
Sometimes I come down at night
重温那些精彩表演
and relive all these great shows.
我仍然在喂凯斯·穆恩鼓里的鱼
I still feed the goldfish in Keith Moon's drums.
那些鱼看上去不太好 杰克
Those fish don't look so good, Jack.
它们42岁了 好得不行
They're 42 years old. They look damn good.
好吧 我们昨晚很走运
All right, we caught a lucky break last night,
但那时侥幸
but that was a fluke.
我们得回归基本
We've gotta get back to the basics.
惊喜战术只能奏效一次
The element of surprise works only once.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
算了
You know what?
我就直说了吧
I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.
我们决定让杀手K取代你
We decided to replace you with Killer K.
什么 什么时候的事
What? When?
在一个你没有加入的群聊里
In a group text that you're not on.
你们在笑什么
What are you laughing at?
没什么
Nothing.
所以你们把我踢出队伍了
So you're kicking me off the team?
我创建的队伍
The team that I built,
我考虑定制T恤的队伍
the team that I thought about making T-shirts for.
我为你做了那么多事
And all that stuff I did for you.
我让你免于打破伤风疫苗
I got you out of that tetanus shot,
因为我
and because of me,
你不用去打破伤风疫苗
you didn't have to get a tetanus shot.
记得那次
Oh, and remember that time
你不想打破伤风疫苗吗
you didn't want to get a tetanus shot?
是谁帮你的
Who was there for you?
你 但是是谁让我们入围锦标赛的
You. But who got us into the tournament?
我
Me.
我就把他们说不出口的话说了吧
Let me just say what they can't.
你的水平弱爆了
Your game is weak.
你很好吗
Oh, and you're tough?
没错 因为你永远做不了我
That's right, 'cause I'm something you'll never be--
一个初中女生
a middle school girl.
我被骂过无数次
There's no name I haven't been called,
经历过无数嘲弄
no taunt I haven't endured,
每个身体部位都被羞辱过
no body part that hasn't been shamed.
我毫不留情 只有靠杀人才能生存
I show no mercy, and must kill to survive.
是的 那就是初中
Yeah, that's middle school.
再说 你还是会继续在队伍里 哥们
Besides, you're still gonna be on the team, little buddy.
-真的吗 -嗯
- Really? - Yeah.
你很擅长买♥♥补给
Getting those supplies you're so good at.
谁想要激浪功能饮料
Who wants a Mountain Dew?
别难过 小邓 我们只是想获胜
No hard feelings, Dunc. Just playing to win.
你还是我们最好的朋友 去给我们买♥♥激浪吧
You're still our best friend. Now go get us some Dew.
我尽力了
I tried.
我真的经历了 请别逼我做这个
I really tried. Please don't make me do this.
好 我感觉你有点难以承受
Okay, I'm sensing you're overwhelmed.
我们先从简单的东西开始吧
Let's start with something easy.
扔掉这邦联旗怎么样
Um, how about this confederate flag?
它象征着种族歧视
It's a symbol for racism
冒犯每一个正派的人
and offensive to every decent human being.
我知道 可是
I know, but...
Skynyrd[乐队]
Skynyrd!
你可以做到的 亲爱的 我相信你
You can do this, honey. I have faith in you.
这个小玩意是什么
What's this old gizmo?
彼德·福兰顿的变声盒
Oh. Peter Frampton's Talk Box.
我从他卡车上偷来的 他不得不取消他剩下的巡演
I stole it from his truck. He had to cancel the rest of his tour.
我们一起走去垃圾箱 亲爱的
Okay, we're gonna walk to the dumpster together, honey.
左脚 右脚 左脚 右脚
Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot.
我做到了
I did it!
我真为你骄傲
I'm so proud of you.
我要给你做你最爱的晚餐
I'm gonna make you your favorite dinner.
你继续扔掉垃圾
You keep throwing crap out.
抱歉 我做不到
♪ I'm sorry, I can't do that ♪
我爱我的垃圾 这是Slash[枪花吉他手]的帽子
♪ I love my crap, here's Slash's hat ♪
你病了 你需要帮助
You're sick. You need help.
我能吃意面吗
♪ Can I still have spaghetti? ♪
我不是他们愚蠢的送水工
I'm not their stupid water boy.
我把这些饮料送过去的时候就告诉他们
And I'm gonna tell them that when I bring them these drinks.
你还好吗 发生什么了
Uh, are you okay? What happened?
就没人相信交战规则吗
Does nobody believe in the rules of engagement?
别对着我咀嚼
Stop chewing at me.
怎么 我就是这么咀嚼的
What? This is how I chew.
我从出生起就这样
It's how I chewed since I was born.
是真的 我的乳♥头♥是犯罪现场
It's true. My nipples were a crime scene.
够了 停下
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
别闹了 你们是怎么回事
Enough of this brouhaha. What is all this hubbub about?
我就是在邓肯最爱的游戏里
All I did was be better than Duncan
秒杀了他 取代了他在队伍里的位置
at the thing he loves most and take his place on the team,
现在他朋友喜欢我胜过他
and now his friends like me more than him
我不知道他为什么小题大做
and I don't know why he's making such a big deal out of it.
我从不扰乱你爱的东西
I don't mess around with the stuff you love
比如单簧管和霸凌
like clarinet and online bullying.
你少来管我霸凌 不然我发誓我会曝光你的私人信息
You stay out of my bullying or I swear I will dox you,
暴揍你 在网上假装别人勾引你
swat you, and catfish you so hard,
你会相信你恋爱了
you'll believe you're in love.
够了
Oh, that's enough.
听着 金伯莉 我很高兴你找到了你擅长的东西
Look, Kimberly, I'm happy you found something you're good at,
但我也能理解邓肯的反应
but I understand where Duncan's coming from.
当你夺走一个人所爱之物
When you take away something somebody loves,