邓肯小镇

怎么了
What's going on?
你儿子要和你女儿结婚了
Your son's marrying your daughter.
新的空气过滤器 不错
New air filters? Nice.
不是吧
Seriously?
糟糕 又忘了
Whoops, did it again.
从我能记事开始
As long as I can remember,
也就是大约10个月前
which is about 10 months ago,
我就一直想和你结婚
I've always wanted to marry you.
她可以找更好的人
She can do so much better.
邓肯 我保证会永远有爱和好玩
Duncan, I promise to always be loving and fun,
就像爸爸妈妈一样
just like Mommy and Daddy...
他们想成为我们
They wanna be us.
以前的爸爸妈妈
...Used to be.
而不是他们现在这样悲伤又无聊
And not sad and boring, like they are now.
悲伤又无聊
Sad and boring?
我们别送他们礼物
We are not sending them a gift.
谢谢你和我结婚 邓肯
Thank you for marrying me, Duncan.
这比那个记忆游戏简单多了
Oh, well, it was easier than that memory game.
我们的婚姻在你们眼中就是这样吗
Is that what you kids think of our marriage?
无聊无趣
That we're boring and no fun?
是的 不过只有当在我们想这事的时候才会觉得
Yeah, but, like, only when we think about it,
而我们不常想
which is not a lot
因为那会让我们难过
'cause, you know, it makes us sad.
你们比我大多数朋友的父母
Hey, you guys lasted longer
都坚持得更久
than most of my friends' parents.
我们还是夫妻
We're still married.
我们感谢你们为了我们而生活在一起
And we appreciate that you've stayed together for us.
我不想去学习继父母的名字
Yeah, I don't wanna have to learn stepparents' names
说什么
and say stuff like,
谢谢来看我的田径运动会 查克
"Thanks for coming to my track meet, Chuck,"
你现在住这里了吗 雪莉
and "Are you living here now, Shirley?"
我们的婚姻没有任何问题
There's nothing wrong with our marriage.
真的吗
Really?
你觉得在周年纪念日里
You think it's normal to spend your anniversary
争论该买♥♥什么颜色的马桶搋子正常吗
debating which color plunger to buy?
-我只是觉得黑色太俗套了 -我觉得红色太张扬
- I just think black is cliché. - And I think red is too showy.
你这是在求人来我们家抢劫
You're begging for a home invasion.
我的天 杰克 他们说得对
Oh, my God, Jack. They're right.
嗯 我们真逊
Yeah, we suck.
高中的时候 我们是每场派对活跃气氛的中心人物
In high school, we were the life of every party.
人人都叫我们麦当娜和肖恩·潘
Everyone called us Madonna and Sean Penn
因为我对花边手套的喜爱
because of my love of lace gloves
还有你的暴脾气
and your hair-trigger temper.
我们是怎么了
What happened to us?
没事的 你们也算成功过了
It's okay, you know? You had a good run.
要不你们去坐在门廊上 看报纸
Why don't you sit on the porch, and read the paper,
说"猜猜谁死了"
and say, "Guess who died?"
我会给你们拿热牛奶
I'll bring you warm milk.
我会站在草坪上 这样你们就能叫我离开了
And I'll stand on the lawn so you can tell me to get off it.
别把我们当老年人对待
Do not talk to us like we are old people,
巴斯特·布朗 小姑娘 苏茜·Q
Buster Brown, Little Missy, and Suzy Q.
走吧 孩子他妈 我们去庆祝周年纪念日
Come on, Mother. We've got an anniversary to celebrate.
没错 我去拿我的披肩
Damn straight. Let me fetch my shawl.
还有我的
Ooh, fetch mine too.
这才像样吧
Ah, now this is more like it.
不能庆祝周年纪念日 商店规定
No anniversary celebrating. Store policy.
但我们无处可去了
But we don't know where else to go.
爆米花 夫人
Popcorn, milady?
我感觉自己像苏塞克斯公爵夫人 梅根·马克尔
Ooh, I feel like the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle.
-轻咬 -好
- Ooh, nibble-- - Yes?
-头发 - 第一次
- Hair. - Okay, first roll.
-来试试吧 -好
- Let's give it a chance. - All right.
我感觉运气来了
I'm feeling lucky.
别在今天死掉 杰克
Not today, Jack.
别死在贝斯特韦斯特酒店里
Not in a Best Western.
骰子上说的什么
What did the dice say?
吸
Suck...
头发
Hair.
该死
Damn it.
你就给你自己做了份三明治
Oh, you made a sandwich just for yourself?
不好意思 你饿了吗
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you hungry?
显然没有
Apparently not.
你好 夫人 你丈夫在家吗
Good day, Madam. Is your husband at home?
我们的婚姻对你来说是笑话吗
Is our marriage a joke to you?
当然不是 静
Uh, no, of course, not Jing.
这是神圣的制度
It's a sacred institution,
你想要我生下的软糖吗
and do you want the rest of my Sour Patch Kids?
-什么事 -你得跟我们来
- Hey, what's up? - You gotta come with us.
我们要去购物中心脱掉人体模特的裤子
We're going to the mall and pantsing all the mannequins.
这是世纪犯罪 你要来吗
It's the crime of the century. You in?
我很想去 但我得陪静
I would love to, but I gotta stay in with Jing.
下次 你们来之前请打电♥话♥
And next time, please call before you come over.
记住了 你家真好看
Will do. Your home is lovely.
想来剪纸吗 会很好玩的
Come on. Wanna cut shapes out of paper? It'll be so fun.
不了 谢谢
No, thanks.
你显然不想在我们婚礼当天陪我
You clearly don't wanna be with me on our wedding day.
你宁愿和你朋友去脱裤子
You'd rather be pulling pants down with your friends.
米娅
听说了你的婚礼 恭喜
-谁给你发的短♥信♥ -没人
- Who's texting you? - Nobody.
-给我看你的手♥机♥ -不行
- Let me see your phone. - Can't.
妈妈说8点后不能看手♥机♥
Mom said no screen time after 8:00.
你还在跟米娅联♥系♥
You're still talking to Mia?
立刻把她从你手♥机♥里删掉
Take her out of your phone right now.
我不跟你玩了
I'm not doing this.
好啊
Oh, sure.
去躲在地下室里
Go hide in the basement
你知道我怕壁炉会吃掉我
because you know I'm afraid the furnace is gonna eat me!
男人都不是好东西
Guys suck.
生活里最大的感情纽带存在于姐妹之间
The greatest bonds in life are between sisters.
想要看《姐姐妹妹》吗
Wanna watch "Sister, Sister"?
被一个五岁小孩回避
Ghosted by a five-year-old?
我受够了这个家无视我
I am tired of this family ignoring me.
我要给他们能铭记一辈子的东西
I'll give them something to remember.
不敢相信那些骰子上面覆盖的是含铅油漆
I can't believe those dice were covered with lead paint.
孩子们说得对 杰克
The kids were right, Jack.
我们回家去看那些老唱片的半小时广♥告♥吧
Let's go home and watch those half-hour commercials for old records.
嗯 我们约会的时候有好多乐子
Yeah, we had a lot of fun when we were dating,
但现在我们安顿了下来
but now we've settled down
剩下的就是等待死亡
and all that's left is to wait for the sweet release of death.
接受现实会不会更好点
Won't it be nice to not fight it anymore?
-失去了火花 是吗 -你说什么
- Lost the spark, huh? - Excuse me.
这不关你事 还有你是怎么知道的
This is none of your business, and also how did you know?
你们好像牵着手在走
You're walking like you're holding hands,
但实际上根本没碰到
but they're not actually touching.
跟我来
Follow me.
我说不好 杰克 邪教就是这么忽悠你的
I don't know, Jack. This is how cults get you.
就两次而已 安妮 别放在心上
Twice, Annie. Let it go.
进去吧
Go on in.
这是什么地方
What is this place?
一个基于史上最棒的十年而创办的私人夜店
A private club based on the greatest decade of all time,
80年代
the 1980s.
这是我们高中时热爱的一切
It's everything we loved in high school.
台球桌 大金刚
Bumper pool, "Donkey Kong."
壮志凌云沙滩排球
"Top Gun" beach volleyball.
还有个看着像80年代愤怒父亲的酒保
And a bartender who looks like an angry '80s dad.
关上门
Close that damn door!
我们才不要给全城供暖
We're not heating the whole damn town!
好多回忆
So many memories.
五个围成圈跳舞的女生
Ooh, five girls dancing in a circle.
一支80年代的翻唱乐队 不知为何艾尔弗是鼓手
And an '80s cover band with Alf on drums for some reason.