邓肯小镇

谢谢给我买♥♥这本书 爸爸
Thanks for buying me this book, Dad.
你知道我有多爱读书
You know how much I love to read.
你穿那衬衣太帅了
And you're totally rocking that shirt.
店里的女士说是吉米·巴菲特设计的
The lady at the store said it's designed by Jimmy Buffet.
打高尔夫的鹦鹉
A parrot golfing?
太有创意了
What a mind.
我饿了 晚饭吃什么
I'm hungry. What's for dinner?
有趣的东西吗
Something fun?
我看看妈妈给我们留了什么
Let's see what Mom left us.
青豆 菠菜砂锅还有低钠豆腐火鸡
Green beans, spinach casserole, and low-sodium Tofurkey.
太不酷了
Such an uncool meal.
-耶 -真棒
- Yay! - Yes!
你怎么敢取消我们的周年晚餐
How dare you cancel our anniversary dinner?
我要吃什么 离婚准了
Now what am I supposed to eat? Divorce granted.
各位拿出你们喜欢的东西扔到碗里
Okay, everybody grab something and throw it in this bowl.
-法兰克福香肠 -博洛尼亚大红肠
- Frankfurters. - Bologna.
-各种奶酪 -墨西哥辣椒
- Various cheeses. - Jalapeños.
你们了解我 我要吃意大利面
You know me. I'm going spaghetti.
搅起来 亲爱的
♪ Stir it up, little darling ♪
搅起来
♪ Stir it up ♪
煮起来 亲爱的
♪ Cook it up, little darling ♪
煮起来
♪ Cook it up ♪
我为你们呈上法式培根奶酪
I present to you francheezy!
法式培根奶酪 法式培根奶酪
Francheezy, francheezy!
我这么说不是求你做事什么的
I'm not just saying this to get things out of you anymore,
但你真的很酷
but you're pretty cool.
酷爸爸
Cool Daddy.
谢谢你 法式培根奶酪
Thank you, francheezy.
在买♥♥到这鞋之前
Before these shoes,
我们根本碰不到这鞋蜜蜂
we could never agitate these bees.
你要对这些毛孩子做点什么吗
我明早有事 你去
杨子 注意到我们有什么不同了吗
Hey, Yangzi, notice anything different about us?
嗯 你们的鞋子是假的
Yeah, your shoes are fake.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
缝线是歪的 色度不对
The stitching is crooked, the shade is off,
鞋底畸形
the soles are misshapen,
上面有个朝圣者扣
there's a pilgrim buckle across the top,
而且那根本不是迈克尔·乔丹
and that ain't Michael Jordan.
是淘气大男孩詹姆斯·柯登
It is impish man-boy James Corden.
我们竟然没有注意到这五个明显的问题
Ugh, I can't believe we didn't notice those five obvious things.
AC
Oh, Air Cordens?
为什么总要这样
距离路沿有18英寸 没有牌照
Over 18 inches from the curb, no plates,
停车方向也错的
parked the wrong way?
安妮 你太幸运了
Oh, Annie, you are the luckiest of ducks.
什么鬼
What in Hickory Hill?
一具尸体 我的第一个犯罪现场
A dead body-my first crime scene!
这是我成为警探的大好机会
This is my shot at finally making Detective.
我最后问你一次 吃口香糖吗
I'm gonna ask you one last time--gum?
不 谢谢 我有糖尿病
No, thanks, I'm diabetic.
混♥蛋♥ 招了吧
You son of a bitch! Admit it!
你杀了他 把他装在你车子的后备箱里
You killed him, and you put him in the trunk of your car.
不是我 我发誓
It wasn't me! I swear!
我没有杀任何胖子
I didn't kill any fat guy.
我从没说过是胖子
I never said it was a fat guy.
带他去电椅 处决他
Take him to the electric chair and hang him!
你真是个厉害的警探
Lady, you are a hell of a detective.
你怎么还没死
Aren't you dead yet?
接下来就交给我们吧
All right, we'll take it from here.
可是我发现了尸体 我是带头的
But I found the body. I'm the lead on this.
我们要取指纹 收集纤维
We gotta dust for prints, collect fibers,
被队长吼 因为市长给他施压
get hollered at by a captain who's been pressured by the mayor
因为今年是选举年
because it's an election year.
抱歉 你的管辖范围止于挡风玻璃 计时器女佣
Sorry, your jurisdiction ends at the windshield, meter maid.
警探线 别做梦
这太不公平了
This is so unfair!
那些警探对你的所作所为很糟糕 亲爱的
What those detectives did to you stinks, honey,
但重要的是你完成了你的指标
but the important thing is you made your quota,
女儿们昨天也去上了学
and the girls definitely went to school yesterday.
去他的破指标
Quota shmota.
那具尸体
That dead body was the greatest thing
是我遇上的最棒的事
that has ever happened to me.
现在我每看到一次尸体 我只会难受
Now every time I see a corpse, I'm just gonna feel bad.
我也度过了糟糕的一天
I had a bad day too.
学校没钱了
The school's out of cash,
快闪店卖♥♥给我们假鞋
that pop-up sold us all fake sneakers,
我还无缘无故被蜜蜂蜇
and I got stung by a bunch of bees for absolutely no reason.
假鞋 你报♥警♥了吗
Fake sneakers? Have you told the police?
没有 我不是告密者
No, I'm no snitch.
很好 警♥察♥只会偷走你的梦想
Good, the cops will just steal your dream
叫你计时器女佣 我们得反击 阿邓
and call you a meter maid. We have to fight back, Dunkie.
不行 我还有重要的工作要做
No way! I've got important work to do.
不错
Nice.
这太棒了
Oh, this is brilliant.
我们俩去卧底 捣毁那个假鞋集团
You and I will go undercover, bust that fake shoe ring,
向那些警探证明 我够格
and prove to those detectives that I am every inch
而他们就是混♥蛋♥
the dick that they are.
算了吧 妈妈
Just let it go, Mom.
总有人要做受害者 为什么不能是我们
Somebody's gotta be the victim. I say why not us?
晚安
Night-night.
快来 邓肯 你和我要去破案了[《怒虎狂龙》]
Come on, Duncan, you and I are "Tango and Cash"-ing it.
杰克 你又得做《家庭主夫》了
And, Jack, you're "Mr. Mom"-ing it again.
别担心 酷爸爸没问题的
Don't worry. Cool Dad's got this.
我的早餐俱乐部在那呢 法式培根奶酪舞
Hey, there's my breakfast club. Francheezy dance!
我的肚子不舒服
My tummy feels angry.
你用你的破法式培根奶酪毒害了我们
You poisoned us with your stupid francheezy.
不可能是法式培根奶酪
It can't be the francheezy.
我比你们多吃了一倍 而我觉得...
I ate twice as much as you, and I feel--
这里面是不是很热
is it hot in here?
第一步 我们回到犯罪现场
Step one--we go back to the scene of the crime
假扮成普通顾客想要买♥♥鞋
posing as ordinary customers looking to buy shoes.
当他们卖♥♥给我们假鞋的时候 咔嚓
When they sell us fakes--blammo--
-我就爆了他们的头 -什么
- I blow their heads off... - What?
告诉他们他们被捕
With the news that they're under arrest,
而我晋升为警探
and I get promoted to detective.
你到底要不要来
Now, do you wanna do this or not?
我说了我不想去
I already said I don't wanna do this.
好 听我指挥
Here we go. Follow my lead.
别说胡话
Don't say anything stupid.
你好 我是默片影星丽塔·圣克莱尔
Hello, I'm silent movie star Lolita St. Clair,
这是我2米03的NBA全明星情夫
and this is my 6'8" NBA all-star paramour,
-哈罗德·胡普斯 -我的天
- Harold Hoops. - Oh, my God.
把你最好的AJ拿出来
Bring us your finest Air Jordans.
道格拉斯·范朋克有一双 他说卖♥♥得很快
Douglas Fairbanks has a pair, and he says they're 22 skidoo.
球鞋快闪店昨天就关了
The sneaker pop-up closed yesterday.
今天我们是圣帕特里克节快闪店
We're now a St. Paddy's Day pop-up.
抱歉 忘了开灯了
Sorry--forgot to turn on the lights.
我们尽力了
Well, we did everything we could.
-再见 妈妈 -别走
- See you around, Mom. - No.
这附近肯定有人看到了什么
Somebody in this neighborhood must have seen something.
找到了
Hmm. Hello.
不过是谁家的摄像头
But whose camera is it?
脱衣舞俱乐部
A strip club?
是的 妈 快来
Yeah, Mom, come on!
-你21岁了吗 -当然
- You 21? - Of course.
我是NBA全明星哈罗德·胡普斯
I'm NBA all-star Harold Hoops,
这是某个老默片影星
and this is some old, dead movie star.
就该这样 阿邓
That's the spirit, Dunkie.
妈 能借我一百块吗 上学要用
Hey, Mom, can I borrow $100 for school?
别被耍了 邓肯
Don't be fooled, Duncan.
这些姑娘并不爱你
These girls are not in love with you,