邓肯小镇

Duncanville S01E05

Part 4 March 27, 2020, 10:44 a.m.

想想服务或者可以配送的商品
Think more services or deliverable goods.
我想到了
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I got one.
-选我选我 -杰克
- Pick me, pick me. - Jack.
科技给我一瓶啤酒
Technology, bring me a beer.
这就对了这就是康威精神
There you go. That's the Convee way.
哥们
My man.
没人这么叫过我
No one's ever called me that.
它都没有说 "小心亲爱的
Wow, it didn't even say, "Be careful, honey.
你知道你是无足轻重的人"
You know you're a lightweight."
但我并不是
Which I am totally not.
我爱你们
I love you guys.
我能说吗珍妮我有个愿望
Can I go? Janine, I have a wish.
-这不是愿望 -我想要
- It's not a wish. - I wish--
她没有许愿
She's not making a wish.
我不想要她许愿
I don't want her to make a wish.
我说了我的愿望了
Well, you got your wish.
我们只是想给你们更多时间
We're just trying to give you more time
做你们爱做的事
to do the things you enjoy.
我喜欢努力因为那能表明我在乎
I enjoy making an effort because it shows I care.
机器会帮你的三明治切掉硬皮吗
Is a machine ever gonna cut the crust off your sandwiches,
会每天在你的午餐盒里放上纸条
put a note in your lunchbox
像我一样说有多爱你吗
telling it how much it loves you like I do every day?
那不是纸巾吗
I thought that was a napkin.
我知道这些神奇的小玩意或者新鲜事物
I know that all these magical doodads and/or hickeys
看上去都很酷
seem like all cool beans,
但这些懒惰行为都是有后果的
but all this lazy behavior has consequences.
我有次在TLC看到一个节目
I once saw this show on TLC...
好吧
Okay.
一个男人在沙发上坐得太久
There was a man who sat on his couch for so long,
他的皮肤都熔进了沙发
his skin actually fused to the sofa.
没有的事妈
That never happened, Mom.
喂洗碗机
You there, dishwasher.
播放《我的肥胖垃圾生活》
Show "My Fat, Crappy Life," Episode nine,
第三季第九集 14分钟处
season three, 14 minutes in.
-不 -恶心
- Oh, no. - Eww.
我只能救沙发或者这人两者其一
I can save the sofa or I can save the man,
我无法同时都救
but I can't save both.
可怜的家伙
That poor blob.
他甚至不能拥抱他妻子
He can't even hug his wife.
我不想成为家具
I don't wanna become furniture.
我想吗
Or do I?
恶心
Ew, gross!
不我不想
No, I don't.
抱歉珍妮我想我们是守旧的人
Sorry, Janine, I guess we're just old-fashioned.
如果我们需要冰箱里的东西
If we need something from the fridge,
我们会让孩子们去拿
we'll make our kids get it for us.
这样的话我们就只能杀了你们
In that case, we'll have to kill you.
你说你们从不杀人的
You said you didn't do that.
不你都怪儿子是对的你们看到得太多了
No, your weird son was right. You've seen too much.
-就说吧 -枪扳起扳机
- Told you! - Gun, cock.
我愿意为了那把枪去除草
Whoa, I would totally mow the lawn for that gun.
等等我的家人去死吧
Wait, wait, wait. Screw my family.
金伯莉
Kimberly!
我的设备就是我的家人
My devices are my family.
我能请你的家电做一件事吗
Can I ask your appliances for one thing?
当然你个幸运的后千禧一代
Absolutely, you blessed post-millennial.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我想看所有家具打架
I wanna see all the appliances fight each other.
酷
Oh, that's cool.
-我也想看 -家电大战
- Yeah, I wanna see that. - Appliance fight, whoo!
洗碗机去揍烘干机
Washer, kick that dryer's ass!
机器的编程没有...
The machines are not programmed to--whoa.
去死吧
Die!
救命救命
Eeh! Eeh! Help! Help!
系统超载
System overload.
开启自我毁灭
Commencing self-destruction...
十九八
In ten, nine, eight...
自毁命令谁安装的
Self-destruct command, who installed that?
你喜欢吗
Do you like it?
四三二一
Four, three, two, one.
我要赢了
I'm winning!
这不是比赛静
It's not a race, Jing.
废柴
Sucker!
猜猜谁不用除草
Yeah, guess who doesn't have to mow the lawn.
我的智能手♥枪♥
My smart gun!
你说得对亲爱的
You were right, honey.
科技并不总像表面上看起来那么方面
Technology is not always the convenience it seems to be.
我只希望珍妮和亚瑟能解决矛盾
I just hope Janine and Arthur can work it out.
亚瑟有罪受了
Arthur's never gonna hear the end of that.
这才像样大家今天都过得如何
This is more like it. So how was everyone's day?
糟糕透顶海瑟要和博迪主演话剧
Terrible, Heather's starring in the play with Bodhi
因为她家人听了洗碗机的话
because her family did what the washer said.
女儿他配不上你
Girl, you're too good for him.
该你了邓肯
Okay, you're next, Duncan.
我在学校跟大家讲
I was telling everyone at school
我们在山里的冒险经历
about our adventure in the mountain
然后有个人抽搐
and then some stupid kid had a seizure
所有人的注意力都被他吸引
and everybody paid attention to him instead.
妈妈你能给我读这个故事吗
Mommy, will you read this to me?
当然亲爱的我也不会使用怪声
Sure, honey, and I won't do any crazy voices.
没事我喜欢你的声音
It's okay. I like your voices.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
伙伴们
Argh, mateys!
我需要一个扔脏裤子的地方
I need a place to throw me dirty pantaloons!
我需要一个扔箍衬裙的地方
And I need a place to throw my hoop skirt.
我需要一个扔掉脏爱国者球衣的地方
And I need a place to throw my wicked soiled Pats jersey.
加油爱国者队
Go Pats!
嘿邓肯妈妈
Hey, hey, Duncan's mom.
嘿米奇先生
Oh, hey, Mr. Mitch.
我想知道
I was wondering, uh,
你有听我的录音样带吗
did you have a chance to listen to my demo?
实际上我听了
As a matter of fact, I did.
你的主歌♥部分很强但是副歌♥部分太复杂了
Your verses are strong, but your choruses are too complex.
最好简单点
I would keep it simple.
对执法人员手下留情
Oh, and take it easy on law enforcement.
那是精神上的寄托你能做我经纪人吗
Yeah, it's a crutch. Hey, you wanna be my manager.
正因此我爱执法机构
♪ And that's why I love law enforcement ♪
不不我没感觉到米奇
No, no, no, I'm not feeling it, Mitch!
再来一遍
Run it again!
再来一遍再来一遍
Run it again? Run it again?
已经凌晨3点了安妮我还要批卷子
It's three a.M., Annie. I got papers to grade.
我想回家
I wanna go home.
这是你说的第一件我相信的事
That's the first thing you've said that I believe.
准备
Roll tape.
朋友们大热歌♥曲要来了
Boys, we got us a hit.