邓肯小镇

我们先好好考虑下
Let's all take a few minutes and think about it.
冰冰 冰冰 冰冰
Fridgy! Fridgy! Fridgy!
确实想不出更好的了
Yeah, we're not gonna top that.
我们晚餐该吃什么
What should we do for dinner?
你可以直接从冰箱上点 妈
You can order right off the fridge, Mom.
我能建议来个披萨派对吗
May I suggest a pizza party?
你们选配料的同时我来放音乐
I'll play music while you pick your toppings.
咱们来设计你的披萨
♪ Let's design your pizza ♪
火腿和奶酪
♪ Ham and cheese ♪
30分钟内保证到
♪ Guaranteed in 30 ♪
麻烦要辣香肠的
♪ Pepperoni please ♪
肉馅皮是全新产品
♪ Meat stuffed crust is brand-new ♪
我们要两份
We'll take two!
巧克力布丁 薯条 我只有五岁
♪ Chocolate pudding, French fries I'm only five ♪
吉他独奏
Guitar solo.
我来
I got this!
发送订单
Sending order.
我们进去了
We're in.
早上好 安妮 早上好 杰克
Good morning, Annie. Good morning, Jack.
早 冰冰
Morning, Fridgy.
-你们睡得好吗 -不
- Did you sleep well? - Actually, no.
睡旧床让我肩膀上长了个硬块
I got a knot in my shoulders from that old bed.
-冰箱里有冰袋 -谢谢冰冰
- Ice pack in freezer. - Ooh, thanks, Fridgy.
金伯莉 根据Instagram
Kimberly, according to Instagram,
海瑟今天穿的衣服跟你一样
Heather's wearing that same shirt today.
你或许想换一件
You might want to change.
天 不敢相信我差点
Oh, my God, I can't believe I almost wore
和别人撞衫
the same mass-produced shirt as someone else.
谢了 冰冰
Thanks, Fridgy.
邓肯 根据家庭日历
Duncan, according to the family calendar,
你关于你最爱战争的学期论文还有1小时就截止了
your term paper on your favorite war is due in one hour.
我时间还多
Uh, I still have plenty of time.
以防万一
Just in case.
谢谢 冰冰
Thanks, Fridgy!
我会在上面抹点果冻 看着逼真点
I'll smear some jelly on it just to make it look authentic.
妈妈很忙 你能帮我编头发吗 爸爸
Mommy's busy. Can you braid my hair, Daddy?
-我不会 -没问题 杰克
- I don't know how. - No problem, Jack.
你好 我是低标爸爸
Hi, there. I'm Low Bar Dad,
我会教你怎么给你女儿编头发
and I'm gonna show you how to braid your daughter's hair.
抓起一叠头发
Grab a wad of hair,
放到另一叠头发上
flop it over another wad of hair,
像鞋带一样拴紧
pull it together tight like it's a shoelace.
这人太棒了 好有勇气
This man is amazing. So courageous.
坐好 放松
Now sit back, relax,
看着社会发出惊叹
and watch as society goes, "Aww."
叠 叠 鞋带 好了
Wad, wad, shoelace, yes!
谢谢 冰冰 我喜欢
Thanks, Fridgy, I love it!
该上学了 大家都去车上
Time for school. Everyone in the car.
我今天给他们报名了拼车
I signed them up for carpool today.
杰克 安妮 你们有30分钟的空闲时间
Jack, Annie, you have 30 minutes of free time.
你想的跟我一样吗
Ah, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
是的 我们可以提前买♥♥完杂货
Yes, we can get the grocery shopping done early!
我会帮你们买♥♥
I will shop for you.
你们缺以下物品
You are out of the following items.
-牛奶 鸡蛋 -也就是说我们有空
- Milk, eggs. - That means we have time to...
-亲爱的 -糖
- Oh, honey. - Oh, sugar!
你的肋骨真壮
Your ribs are so prime.
爽 配送商品吧
Oh, yeah! Deliver the goods!
订单已发送 后台智能传输完成
酷毙了
It was sick.
我们的座位就在侃爷旁边 不过隔了15排
Our seats were right next to Kanye but 15 rows back.
我发推叫他转身
I tweeted at him to turn around,
然后他发推 爱是一种知识
and he tweeted back, "Love is a type of knowledge
水是海豚的氧气
and water is oxygen for dolphins."
你给了他我的录音样带吗
Did you give him my demo?
天 抱歉 我又忘了
Aw, man. I'm sorry, I forgot again.
我也度过了疯狂的一晚
I had a crazy night too.
我外婆和我刷了一部
My grandma and I binged some show
叫做《谋杀 她写道》的剧
called "Murder, She Wrote,"
讲的是《美女与野兽》里的茶壶太太破案
About the teapot from "Beauty and the Beast" Solving crimes.
你有把我的录音样带给你外婆吗
Did you give your grandma my demo?
放在她床头几上 她会听到的
Dude, it's on her nightstand. She'll get to it.
好 任何反馈都行
All right, cool. Any feedback is good.
你在看《低标爸爸》吗
You watching Low Bar Dad?
我听说那些不是他真的孩子
I heard those aren't his real kids.
没 我在看我家冰箱内部的直播
No, I'm just watching a live feed from inside my fridge.
这是你家冰箱里的画面吗 我去
That's happening in your fridge right now? Damn!
它有各种酷炫功能
It's got all kinds of cool features.
你可以爬进去而不被锁住
You can climb inside and not even get locked in.
我试过三次
I tried it three times.
外面也有摄像头
It's got a camera on the outside too.
我要那张
I'll take that one.
冰冰 你知道我号♥码
Fridgy, you know my number?
我给你订了染发剂 已经送到家了
I ordered your hair dye and it has been delivered.
你怎么知道我需要
How did you know I needed some?
-你的发根显现出来了 -好吧
- Your roots were showing. - Oh, okay.
我还需要点别的
Well, I need something else while I'm here.
我已经给杰克发了一张后性♥交♥卡 签了你的名字
I already sent Jack a post-coital card and signed your name.
等等 你给我老公买♥♥了张浪漫卡片
Wait a minute. You bought my husband a romantic card?
这很私人
That is very personal,
你又不知道我会选哪张
and you don't know which one I would have chosen.
骑摩托车的泰迪熊
Teddy bears on motorcycles.
这显然是最好的选择
Well, it's clearly the best option.
恭喜你做♥爱♥了
Hey, congrats on the sex.
听听我的录音样带
Check out my demo.
因为我是副 副 副
♪ 'Cause I'm vice, vice, vice ♪
副校长
♪ Vice principal ♪
-怎么了 -嘘
- What's going on? - Shh.
我们在看《犬吠执法》
We're watching "Barking Enforcement."
抱歉 我之前没空给钱
Sorry, I didn't have time to feed the meter.
就是《停车执法》 不过它们是狗
It's "Parking Enforcement," But they're dogs.
我知道 我想和你们一起看的
I know what it is. I wanted to watch that with you guys.
冰冰下载了
Fridgy downloaded it.
你可以晚点一个人看
You can watch it later, alone.
好吧
Hmm, fine.
行 我们去吃晚餐 我想听听大家今天怎么过的
Okay, um, let's have dinner so I can hear about everybody's day.
今天是塔可星期二
It's Taco Tuesday.
我们吃过了 冰冰点了泰国菜
We already ate. Fridgy ordered Thai.
还剩了些面
There's some leftover noodles you can have
你可以边看电影边吃
while you watch the movie alone.
可我喜欢我们的家庭晚餐
But I love our family dinners.
我才能听到大家一天是怎么过的
That's where I get to hear about everybody's day.
邓肯 你先来
Duncan, you go first.
多亏冰冰 我的论文得了A
I got an "A" On my paper thanks to Fridgy.
或许是我写的 但是是你交上去的
I may have done the work but you handed it in.
没错 我有手
Yeah, that's true, I did. I have hands.
我本想去吸毒 但冰冰阻止了我
I was tempted to do drugs, but Fridgy said don't.
我总是这么说
I always say that.
嗯 但冰冰更能让人产生共鸣
Yeah, but Fridgy was relatable.
我放弃了
I give up.
来 静 我们上楼去 我给你读睡前故事
Come on, Jing, let's go upstairs. I'll read you a bedtime story.
冰冰和我已经选好了
Fridgy and I already picked one out,
不过你可以来听
but you can listen.
冰冰声音很有趣
Fridgy has funny voices.
我的声音怎么了
What's wrong with my voices?
口音有点重
They're a little broad.
我从没有
Well, I never!
脏衣服让我开心 妈妈
"Dirty clothes make me happy, mon.
我讨厌保罗的裤子 达芙妮的裙子
"I hate Paul's pants, Daphne's Dress,
还有妈妈的穆穆袍
and Mom's muumuu."
重个屁