邓肯小镇

邓肯小镇
第一季 第一集
恶魔屁♥股♥
The Devil's Ass.
从未有人成功徒手攀登过
No man has successfully free soloed it.
告诉我妻子我爱她
Ah! Tell my wife I love her.
现在这个纪录将被打破
Until now.
我之前失败的那些人 他们的失误就在于训练
The mistake everyone made before me was training.
所以我没有训练
That's why I didn't.
邓肯 我是亚历克斯·霍诺尔德
Hey, Duncan. I'm Alex Honnold,
奥斯卡获奖电影《徒手攀岩》的主角
star of the Academy Award-winning film "Free Solo."
-我有点忙 -抱歉
- I'm kind of busy. - Oh, sorry.
我只想说你是最厉害的
I just wanted to say that you're the best ever
-把我的奥斯卡给你 -终于
- and give you my Oscar. - About time.
幸会
Nice to meet you--
我成功了 怎么样啊 上帝
I did it! Take that, God!
我爬上了恶魔屁♥股♥
向你的制♥造♥者[上帝]致敬
Bow before your maker.
神奇女侠 你怎么来了
Wonder Woman? What are you doing here?
你让我出现的
You made me appear.
你每隔七秒就会有淫秽想法
You have a sexual thought every seven seconds.
-听上去很频繁 -是的
- Whoa, that sounds like a lot. - It is.
正因此我要让你成为男人 邓肯
That's why I'm gonna make you a man, Duncan.
太好了
Nice.
我要让你成为男人 邓肯
I'm gonna make you a man, Duncan.
爸 你在干什么
Dad, what are you doing?
你♥爸♥爸要让你成为男人
Your father's gonna make you a man.
不
No!
他要教你开车 你个幸运的家伙
By teaching you to drive, you lucky duck.
开车是每个青少年的梦想
Driving is every teenage boy's dream.
不是我的 出去
Ugh, not mine. Get out of my room.
你去哪了
Where were you?
不重要 让我成为男人 快
It doesn't matter. Make me a man, hurry.
邓肯 你拿到学习执照已经一个月了
Duncan, you've had your learner's permit for a month
但你还没碰过车
and you haven't touched the car.
我不需要开车
I don't need to drive.
无人机可以运送我想要的一切
Drones deliver whatever I want,
无人驾驶汽车是未来
and self-driving cars are the future.
开车老套又无聊 跟棒球一样
Driving is old-fashioned and boring, like baseball.
棒球最棒了 比喻生活
Baseball is awesome. It's a metaphor for life.
比喻也很无聊 跟棒球一样
Metaphors are boring, like baseball.
我们站在机会的本垒板上
We stand at the plate of opportunity...
朝着成功的栅栏击打 我被伦巴扫地机器人扫走了
Swinging for the fences of success-- up, I've been Roomba'd.
你♥爸♥爸是想花时间跟你相处
Your father was trying to have a moment with you.
行 我会去开车 真是的
All right, I'll go driving. God.
乖 我爱你
Good boy. I love you, mwah.
我是孤儿 成全我吧
I'm an orphan. Let me have this.
开车好运 邓肯
Good luck driving, Duncan.
你是世界上最帅的哥哥
You're the handsomest brother in the world,
总有一天 我要嫁给你
and someday, I will marry you.
我跟你说了无数次了 静 我们不能...
I've told you a thousand times, Jing, we can't get--
我也等不及要和你结婚了
I can't wait until we're married too.
祝你哥哥好运 金伯莉
Say good luck to your brother, Kimberly.
祝好运 别忘了边发短♥信♥边开车
Good luck. Don't forget to text and drive.
安静 各位
Okay, quiet, everybody.
我要记录下这一刻 好发到脸书上
I'm documenting this moment for Facebook,
我得说点深刻的话 准备好了吗 亲爱的
and I got to say something profound. You ready, honey?
等下 现在是照片模式
Okay, hang on, I have it on photo...
慢动作 正方形
Slow-mo, square,
全景 视频
pano, video,
又到了慢动作 好了 开始
slow-mo again. Okay, action.
儿子 一切恍如隔日 我还在推着你的婴儿车
Son, it seems like yesterday, I was pushing you in a stroller
忍♥不住了
and... Here they come.
-你在哭吗 -抱歉 邓子
- Are you crying? - Sorry, Dunker,
但教你孩子开车的那天
but the day you teach your kid to drive
是一个父亲生命里最伟大的时刻之一
is one of the great moments in a father's life.
不像我爸 我不会打你
And unlike my dad, it's not gonna end with me beating you,
然后带你去温迪快餐 然后再次打你
and then taking you to Wendy's, and then beating you again.
-我爱你 儿子 -我也爱你 爸爸
- I love you, son. - I love you too, Dad.
就这样
That's it.
我们会死的
Hey! We're gonna die!
-我的天 -慢点
- Oh, my God. - Slow down.
-快点 -快决定好 -一家鸭子
- Speed up. - Make up your mind. - A family of ducks.
-教皇 -他在这做什么
- The Pope! - What is he doing here?
妈妈 想看我侧手翻吗
Mommy, want to see me do a cartwheel?
-说想看 -抱歉 亲爱的
- Say yes. - Sorry, honey.
妈妈得送你去学校然后去上班
Mommy needs to drop you at school and get to work.
小镇的好人付我钱给他们的车子开罚单
The good people of this town are paying me to ticket their cars.
我会很快的
I'll go fast.
很好 亲爱的 我们...
That's great, honey. Okay, let's--
再翻回来
Now back.
给她买♥♥部手♥机♥吧
Just get her a phone already.
别开车了
Please stop driving!
你一路惊慌失措的我要怎么学
How can I learn with you freaking out?
你怎么不能像那个萨利机长一样淡定
Why can't you be chill like that Sully dude?
他在海上降落飞机 也没有像傻瓜一样大叫
He landed a plane on the ocean without screaming like an idiot.
也许萨利该做你♥爸♥爸
Well, maybe Sully should be your father.
我巴不得呢
I wish he was.
要我给你编头发吗 爸爸
Want me to braid your hair, Dad?
好了
Okay, okay.
两个瓶子横着放进我的嘴巴
Two bottles in my mouth sideways.
我为什么这么渴望关注
Why do I crave attention?
这是淡啤酒
This is near beer.
孕妇喝的啤酒
It's the beer pregnant chicks drink.
我当时只能拿到这个
It was all I could grab in the store.
那人在朝我开枪
The guy was shooting at me.
为什么大家都这么看重开车
Why does everybody make such a big deal out of driving?
这个无聊小镇又没有任何好玩的地方
It's not like this boring town has any fun places to go.
你得淡定 邓子
You need to chill, Dunk,
你哥们有好东西
and your boy has just the thing.
这公♥司♥给我寄了免费样品
The company sent me a free samp.
为什么总有人给你寄酷酷的东西
Why are people always sending you cool stuff?
我只有墓地的优♥惠♥券
All I get are Groupons for cemetery plots.
关键在于怎么玩推特
It is all about your Twitter game.
我关注各种企业 吹捧他们的产品
I follow businesses, talk up their products,
然后他们就会联♥系♥我
and then they hook me up.
我说扭扭糖有觉悟
I wrote Twizzlers are woke, and bam.
扭扭糖
Twizzlers.
爸爸妈妈餐厅的东西来了
Ah, that'd be Papa Mom's.
免费披萨 来自爸爸妈妈餐厅的礼物
Free pizza, compliments of Papa Mom's.
祝胃口好
Bon appétit.
邓肯 是我 米娅
Duncan? It's me, Mia.
我父母叫我找份工作为大学存钱
Well, my parents made me get a job to save money for college,
然后我发现爸爸妈妈餐厅支持反LGBTQ事业
but then I found out Papa Mom's supports anti-LGBTQ causes,
所以我要从公♥司♥内部把他们搞垮
so I'm taking the company down from the inside
我会用手戳每份派
by sticking my finger in every pie.
但我没有戳你的 其实戳了
I didn't do yours, though. Actually, I did.
就在那 你可以绕开吃
It's right there. You could just eat around it.
我看到你和你♥爸♥爸开车
So, I saw you driving with your dad.
我觉得你开车很酷
No, I think you look cool behind the wheel.
我等不及要开车了
I can't wait to drive.
等我骑车赶到示♥威♥活动的时候
By the time I'm done riding my bike to protests,
我已经没力气游♥行♥了
I am too tired to march.
-冷静 哥们 -我可以的
- Dial it down, dude. - I got this.
谁知道呢
Who knows.
也许有一天 你可以开车带我去某个地方
Maybe someday, you'll be able to give me a ride somewhere.
呜啪 冲撞
Wuh-pah! Smash!
我是来向你女儿求婚的
I've come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.
这太好...
Well, that sounds wonder--
为什么
Why?
他是准备答应的
He was going to say yes.
我不能冒那个险
I couldn't take that chance.
-你真酷 爱抚我 -乐意至极