克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E06

Part 7 June 24, 2025, 12:24 p.m.

几万几万
Tens of thousands.
可能要两万左右
Tens? Probably be up to about twenty.
不两万就镀个铬什么
No? Twenty? What, to chrome it? What?
是的去除不要的东西把内部掏空
Yeah, to strip it all down, take all the gubbins out from the inside.
这需要动用机器我都能完成
That'll have to be machined. I could have done it.
给拖拉机喷个漆要两万
£20,000 to paint a tractor?
好吧重点在于当你的荷包在大出血时
Well, the point is, as your bank balance is taking a bit of a beating,
就要让它继续出血
let's keep it going.
为什么要放弃呢那会给它时间积蓄力量
Why give up? Then it'll have time to strengthen like that
然后它会反抗然后更难从里面弄出钱来
and then it'll be resistant, and it'll be harder to get anything out of it.
现在的它疲弱无力
Whereas now, it's floppy and weak.
遍体鳞伤别漫天要价别漫天要价
Be sensible. Be sensible. Wounded.
不然我将坐在飞龙剧院的第一排
Otherwise I will be on the front row at the Wyvern.
不会的
I'm not doing that.
观察你扮演巴顿斯的表现
And I will be making observations about your performance as Buttons.
我不演童话闹剧油漆要多少钱
I'm not doing panto. How much is the paint?
一升至少要三千英镑
The paint's gonna be at least three grand a litre.
一升一升铬漆
A litre? A litre for chrome paint, yeah.
为什么不在我出发前告诉我
Why didn't you tell me before I set off
费用会比大部分欧洲国家的GDP还要高
that it was going to be more than the GDP of most European countries?
因为说了你可能就不来了
Because then you might not have come.
我肯定不会来但是你拖拉机都买♥♥了
I wouldn't have come. You have and you've brought the tractor.
所以是你自己找上门来的
So basically, you've lowered your plums into my vice.
我不过是报价高了一点点现在
And I've nipped it up a little bit. And now...
如果来的是一个普通农民
If this was a normal farmer coming,
你们肯定不会报价两万英镑
then you wouldn't be saying £20,000.
哪个普通农民会给拖拉机镀铬笨蛋
Well, what normal farmer would chrome his tractor, you pillock!
真的不
Erm...
考虑到距离开业只剩五个礼拜了
Since we were now only five weeks from opening,
我只能被迫答应巴顿斯的条件
I was forced to agree to Buttons' terms.
不过好消息是苏和瑞秋帮我找到了一个主厨
On the good-news front though, Sue and Rachel had found me a chef.
他叫尼克他和她们一样
His name was Nick, and like them,
在酒吧筹备和经营方面有着丰富的经验
he had vast experience of getting pubs up and running.
你开过多少家酒吧餐厅十家
How many pubs have you opened? Ten.
你在斯特拉特福德有一家店是的
So you've got a place in Stratford? Yeah.
但你可以过来帮我们把这家开起来
But you can come and help us get this one going?
是的完全没问题斯特拉特福德那家店
Oh yeah, a hundred per cent. The place in Stratford runs...
已经可以纯靠员工运营我只需要监工
Er, it runs with just me overseeing. At the moment...
目前令人不安的是尼克跟着就指出
Worryingly, Nick then pointed out that getting my pub open
要把我的酒吧开起来其难度超过了他开过的所有酒吧
would be harder than any of the others he'd done in the past.
最让我担心的一个问题是
What fills me with living dread
我们第一次沟通时
is the initial conversation I had with you,
你说你养了17头牛你想把它们送到酒吧卖♥♥掉
is you have seventeen cows, you wanna sell them in the pub.
问题就在于如何卖♥♥掉这些牛
It's how we sell those cows.
什么
What?
我们不可能售卖♥♥牛的全身各个部位
We can't sell them in all of their constituent parts.
为什么就不能
Why can't we just, erm...
假定每天有300到350人来这里用餐
If you're gonna serve 300, 350 people here in one day,
我们无法准备二十份所以你无法做牛心牛舌
we can't hold -twenty portions of shin of beef- So you can't do beef heart, ox tongue?
二十份牛腱那样的话菜单上会有一百道菜
Twenty portions... We end up with a menu of a hundred dishes
这绝对做不到
which is like completely unachievable.
所以我们的菜单要定期轮换同一时间只供应牛的一个部位
So on a regular rolling basis, we need to be serving one cut from a cow.
你打算如何处理剩下的部位
Now, what are you doing with the rest of the cow?
等一下我的老天爷太复杂了
Hold on. Oh, my God al-fucking-mighty. This is complicated.
所以如果我们宰了一头牛把它送到肉店
So if we slaughter a cow, take it to the butcher's...
在某一段时间内我会大量需要
What I'd want is parts of that cow in large quantities
牛的某个部位
for a finite period of time.
比如这周我们只供应牛腰肉
For one week we'd be serving rump steaks,
所以这周我只要牛腰肉
so for that week, all I want are rump steaks.
下一周我们可以更换菜单可以轮换
The following week, we can change the menu, we can switch.
可以改为供应慢炖牛板腱
We can move on to a sort of slow-cooked feather blade of beef.
不过还是一样下周我只要牛板腱
But again, all I want for a week is the feather-blade cut.
厨房♥的运作必须简单
The kitchen operation has to be simple.
必须尽可能快地上菜
People need to be served reasonably quickly,
不仅顾客满意对你的生意也有好处
both for their own enjoyment, but also for your business.
为了翻对让顾客吃完然后翻台
To turn, yeah. You feed people, you turn the table.
我开始担心这个问题了我原来想的是
This has really worried me now. Because I thought if we got
全国有五十个农民为我们供货
fifty farmers round the country,
我们说 "我们会买♥♥下你们的牛肉"
we say: "We'll take your beef."
嗯
Yeah?
我们的牛肉就足够五万人吃了
We'd have enough to feed fifty thousand people.
但其实我们只要一个部位
But what we're actually doing is only taking one thing.
我们的农场商店有一个汉堡贩卖♥♥♥车♥
I mean, at the farm shop with the burger van,
我们把所有肉都做成肉馅
we just mince everything.
嗯把一整块牛柳送进绞肉机
Yeah. Fillet, the whole lot goes in there.
对一家酒吧来说这种做法没有商业可行性
Which is not commercially viable in a pub.
任何一个酒吧老板都不会把牛柳做成肉馅
Nobody who owns a pub anywhere is mincing a fillet.
这是一种商业自杀行为该死
It's commercial suicide. Fuck's sake.
那你是怎么处理牛的其他部位的
And then, but what actually do you do with the rest of the cow?
没错这个
Exactly. Well, that...
在某种程度上这不是我的问题是你的问题
To a certain extent that's not my problem, that's your problem,
因为如何经营需要你来拿主意
because this is your idea of how to run the business.
但我什么都不懂拿的主意不靠谱
Ah, but it's my idea based on absolutely no knowledge whatsoever.
我意识到了
It's becoming clear.
把你的牛从头到尾全部放在酒吧出♥售♥
The concept of serving the nose to tail of your cows in this pub
这个主意行不通
does not work.
两周前苏和瑞秋抛给我一个棘手的问题
So, two weeks earlier, Sue and Rachel had given me a big problem.
你们知道我们打算把商店开在这里面吧
You know we're gonna put the shop in here?
什么丽莎的商店
What? Lisa's shop.
我们需要那块空间有很多东西要储藏
We need that area. We've got so much to store.
现在尼克又抛给我一个更加棘手的问题
And now Nick had handed me one that was even bigger.
我急需解决这些问题
I urgently needed to sort these things out,
但我没有时间
but I didn't have time.
进去快点
In you get. Go on.
因为我得赶回农场为母牛称重
Because I had to get back to the farm to weigh the cows.
这是磅秤需要设置一下新设置
This is the weigh scales then, and you've set it up.
从而确保新饲料让它们长胖了
To make sure their new diet was making them fatter.
开始称重你看
Start session. Look.
最适宜宰杀的体重是多少
What's the ideal slaughter weight for them?
大概650公斤好
Roughly between about six-fifty. Oh, okay.
开始吧
Here we go.
（牛体重变化）
开始吧
Go on, then.
耳标编号♥是多少 105386
What's the ear tag? 105 386.
（耳标）
体重是468公斤
And that one weighs... 468.
它瘦了
He's lost weight. Hey?
随着称的牛越来越多我逐渐意识到这不是个例
As the weighing went on, I realised this wasn't a one-off.
体重是多少
What was the weight?
462公斤
Four six two.
它瘦了两公斤
He's lost two kilograms.
见鬼
Fucking hell.
去吧
Go on.
472公斤
472 kg.
嗯瘦了四公斤
Right, that's lost four kilograms.
为什么会瘦
Why are they losing weight?
去吧
There we go.
490公斤
Four ninety.
只重了一公斤十五天了才重了一公斤
That's only put on 1 kg. Fifteen days he's put on one kilogram.
见鬼
Oh, shitting hell.
减了7斤这头减了14斤你看
Minus 7? Minus 14 there, look.
继续走
Go on.
短时间内没有人会吃到它们的肉了
Nobody's gonna be eating these any time soon.
没错这不是好事
No. That's not good.
我该拿你们怎么办
What are we gonna do with you?
它们想明白了一旦长胖了就会被送去市场
They've worked out that if they get fat they go off to market.
于是让自己患上了暴食症
So they've given themselves bulimia.
牛粪
Shit.
原来问题真的出在牛粪上面
It turned out that shit actually was the issue,
迪尔翁说新的超级饲料导致了它们拉肚子
because Dilwyn said their new superfood was giving them diarrhoea.
你喂了它们太多高能量饲料了
You're giving them too much high-powered food