克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E03

Part 5 May 27, 2025, 10:03 p.m.

So, right, hold, hold.
而且是我给他们发工资
And that I was paying everyone's wages.
所以我决定让年轻人去对付那头疯猪来吧过来
So, I decided to leave the youngsters to deal with Psycho Pig.
不
No!
来吧它过来了
Come on! Here he comes, here he comes.
有什么妙计卡哥
What's your plan, K?
镇定
Calm.
很好奏效了挡住把那个放下来挡住对
Yes, yes, it worked. Hold, hold. Put that down. Hold. Right.
你别想跑
You're not fucking getting off!
你把我肋骨撞折了伙计
Ogh! You'll break my ribs, man!
挡住
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold.
你没事吧没事
You okay? Yeah.
挡板放下
Pig board down. Pig board down.
来吧
Come on.
这家伙太有蛮力了
This is just fucking brute force.
好的
Yes, yes!
快把那些猪赶走
Let them pigs go. Quickly.
见鬼
Oh, shit.
真好玩
That was fun.
刚才挡板正撞在我的肋骨上
That board went, like, straight into my, like, rib.
不妙
Not good.
我需要一袋豆子
I need a bag of peas.
一袋豆子是的包治百病
A bag of peas. Yeah. Cures everything.
没有人对哈维的离去依依不舍
No one was upset to see Harvey leave.
但是迪丽斯库阿特又将迎来一次别离
But it was now time for another departure from Diddly Squat.
这次让人有点不舍
And that was a bit sad.
就这样了你要走了
So this is it, you're off.
我要走了你要回德比郡了是的
I'm off. You're off back to Derbyshire? Yeah.
你是一颗耀眼的明星谢谢
Listen, you've been an absolute star. Thanks.
非常感谢你做的一切非常棒
Thanks ever so much for everything. Absolutely brilliant.
谢谢祝你好运
Thanks. And best of luck.
好的
Yeah. Erm...
等大麦长出来了我发照片给你
And I'll send you pictures of the barley when it's growing.
嗯要是没长出来就别发了
Yeah, if there's any fuck-ups, don't send them to me.
嗯而且我不会告诉卡莱布这很重要
No, I'm not. I'm not gonna tell Kaleb either, that's the important thing.
不客气你解了我的燃眉之急
Erm, saved my life, you did. Any time.
你很棒嗯
You were brilliant. Yeah.
听着万一还需要帮忙我可以给你打电♥话♥吗
So, listen, if we get stuck again, can I give you a call?
可以
Yeah.
说一声就行了抱歉我换种问法好的
Just let me know. No, sorry, let me re-phrase that.
下次我们需要帮忙的时候
When we get stuck again.
好的尽管开口
Yeah, ooh.
好的好的
All right. All right?
嗯谢谢
Yeah. Thanks!
我把拖车的门关上
I'll close "t'e" caravan door.
把拖车的门关上
Close the caravan door.
现在拖车归你了是的
Your caravan now! Yeah.
如果你和丽莎吵架了她可以搬过来住
When you and Lisa fall out, she can come and live here.
这个主意不错她可以搬过来住
I like your thinking. She can come and live here.
我赞成
I approve of that!
开车注意安全好的
You drive carefully, won't you? All right, yeah.
好的谢谢
All right, thanks.
再见
Bye!
没错她是个超级巨星
Yeah, she's a superstar, that one.
现在卡莱布回来打理一切了
Now that Kaleb was back and fully in charge,
我可以继续寻找酒吧了
I could get back to my hunt for a pub.
那家酒店名叫"剃须皇冠"
So, that is called The Shaven Crown.
有750年历史了有个很棒的大厅
750 years old. It's got a great hall in it.
漂亮的庭院后面还有一个停车场
It's got a beautiful courtyard and a car park round the back.
而且处于待售状态
And it is... for sale.
那边转角处的酒吧也是
And so is the pub just on that corner down there.
一个村子两家酒吧都处于待售状态
Two pubs, one village, both for sale.
只可惜那天上午我看过的酒吧
Sadly, none of the pubs I saw that morning were right,
都因为种种原因不太适合
for one reason or another.
下午看了几家也是一样
And nor were the multitude I saw that afternoon.
这家酒吧要想维持经营
If you were to make this economically viable,
需要每周七天每天有八十到一百人来用餐
you'd need 80 or 100, lunch and dinner, 7 days a week.
在我看来那个村子应该不会
And that doesn't look like the sort of village, to me,
欢迎大量食客涌入
that would welcome that many people turning up.
我不想再惹怒一个村子我已经干过这种事了
And I don't wanna piss another village off. I've done that.
有这么多酒吧待售真是令人沮丧
The sheer volume of options was very depressing.
那天晚上我坐在本地的酒吧里
And that evening, in my own local,
开始意识到酒吧数量的锐减会造成何种影响了
I started to realise what effect this pub-cull will have.
我在想孤独正成为农村地区的一个大问题
And I was just thinking, loneliness is becoming a big issue in rural areas.
部分原因是
And part of the problem is:
村庄正在失去灵魂
villages are kind of losing their souls.
村里已经没有医生了
You don't have a village doctor any more,
医生远在五十公里外的健康中心你还预约不上
he's in a health centre 30 miles away and you can't get an appointment.
村里也没有警♥察♥了
There's no village bobby on the beat.
村里没有牧师没有商店
There's no village vicar. There's no village shop.
没有学校
There's no village school.
如果最后连酒吧都没有了
And if we end up at a point where there's no village pub...
那村庄还剩下什么
What is a village?
只是一些房♥子而已
It's just some houses.
酒吧是村子的中心
The pub's the hub.
而且应该始终如此
And it should always be that way...
说这话的人正在一个人独饮
said the man sitting at a table for one.
现在距离硬粒小麦的最后播种期限只剩下十天了
We were now just ten days from the durum wheat planting deadline,
雨还在下个不停
and it was still raining.
不过至少查理想到了一个主意
But Charlie had at least found a way to make some profit
从积水的地里赚点钱
from our waterlogged ground.
对英国柳木的需求持续激增
There's been an explosion of demand for English willow,
用于满足印度板球超级联赛的需要
to supply the appetite of Indian Premier League cricket.
他们需要英国产的柳木
And what they really want is British willow.
我不想为了制♥作♥板球球拍而种树因为我讨厌板球
Obviously I don't want to be growing cricket bats 'cause I loathe cricket.
我知道那个
Well, I know. That's, er...
不过还不算太糟如果是制♥作♥高尔夫球杆就更糟了
But it could be worse, it could be growing golf clubs.
所以是我买♥♥下那些树对吧
Anyway, so, I buy the trees, is that right?
我们花很少的钱把树种下去
We pay a small price to have the trees planted,
他们负责管理
and then they're managed,
他们每年来三次清理长在树上的植物
these guys pop out three times a year to just clear all the growth off them,
12到15年后他们会来砍树
and then 12, 15 years later, they'll come and harvest them.
15年 15年没错
15 years? 15 years, yes.
这个超长♥期♥商业计划
This incredibly long-term business plan
是一个叫乔希的人想出来的
was the brainchild of a man called Josh.
你好你好查理你好吗你好
Hello, Charlie. How're you doing? Are you all right?
我很好
Good, good.
就是这些树吗
These are the trees?
需要你们帮忙搬防鹿网如果不行就搬种树的工具
I need you to carry the deer guards or the planting device here.
不过来狗狗们过来
No, come here! Dogs! Here!
抱歉乔希没关系
Come here! Sorry, Josh. That's okay.
珊莎坐下
Sansa, sit.
坐下
Sansa, sit.
不是"拉屎" 坐下
No, not "shit", sit.
珊莎
Sansa!
该死它们太不听话了
Fucking hell. They're worse than ever.
你说树龄有多少年了
So, how old did you say those were?
四年多了四五年四年
So they're four years oldish. Four years?
你选的这块地是沼泽你知道吧
You do realise this area you've chosen is a swamp.
那很好
That's perfect.
就是要沼泽真的吗
Really? That's the idea.
那片地没有得到充分利用是的
Basically, that land is underutilised. Yeah.
所以产生不了多少收益是的
So it's not earning you money. No.
以后会产生很高的收益等一下
It's about to. So, hold on.
可以帮我算算这笔账吗行
Can you talk me through the finances? Yeah.
每棵树我付你多少钱
Because I pay you how much for a tree?
树苗加护网是20英镑这些是15英镑
So, 20 pounds for the tree and the guard, 15 on top for those.
所以每棵树35英镑
So, 35 pounds.
35英镑而你包种植
35 pounds... It's planted.
15年后砍树是吧 15到20年
We harvest them in 15 years? 15 to 20.
树木长成后按现在的价格计算价值七百英镑