克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E02

Part 3 May 27, 2025, 10:03 p.m.

他们怎么因为
Where was the--? How did they enter?
如果那根梁还在的话
If that beam still existed,
你就无法穿过这个巨大的门
you wouldn't be able to get to this huge door...
对但是进入这间卧室
Yeah, but... Into this bedroom.
这里真的应该有地板吗是的还铺了地毯
Is it actually meant to be a door here? Yes, they've carpeted it.
我很肯定这道门绝对通不过
This door, I'm fairly confident,
建筑检查员的检查肯定通不过
wouldn't pass muster with the building inspector.
你做了什么我做了什么
What have you done? What have you done?
问得好我做了什么
"What have I done?" It's a good question!
你做了什么你这个笨蛋
What have I done? What have you done? You fucking eejit!
导览结束之后
With the guided tour complete,
丽莎给出的评价相当克制
Lisa was very moderate in her judgement.
这个粪坑一样的破地方只能拆掉重修
The only thing that would help this shithole is a wrecking ball.
哪里像粪坑了
It's not a shithole!
到目前为止我没看到半点可取之处
Well, so far, I haven't seen anything redeeming.
外面就不错
The outside's nice.
是的外面很漂亮没错
The outside's lovely. Exactly.
我买♥♥书只看封面那些值得买♥♥
I judge a book by its cover.
如果封面印着一艘快艇上面坐着一个比基尼女郎
If it's got, like, a speedboat and a girl in a bikini on it
以及纳粹抢来的黄金我就会买♥♥
and some Nazi gold, I'll buy the book.
另外我还有一张王牌希望能够用来说服她
Also, I had one ace up my sleeve that would hopefully convince her.
最棒的是这里不属于牛津郡
Now, the best thing, this isn't in Oxfordshire.
这里属于格洛斯特郡
This is Gloucestershire.
所以不用跟西牛津郡议会打交道所以归另一个议会管
So it's not West Oxfordshire District Council!
就在我想方设法说服丽莎的同时
While I was trying to win Lisa over,
哈莉特正在直播她在农场里忙碌的身影
the farm was alive to the sound of a very busy Harriet.
唯一未能享受直播待遇的
The one thing that wasn't getting any TikTok treatment, though,
便是我的兰博基尼
was my Lamborghini,
随着老旧导致的毛病越来越多
which, with its ever-growing list of age-related problems,
她开始对它不耐烦了
was starting to properly annoy her.
换挡杆的分离器坏了
The splitters on the gear stick are broken!
坏掉了
That's broken.
坏掉了
That's broken.
拉
Pull, pull.
拜托
Come on!
每过两分钟就跳出来一个故障报♥警♥
And it throws up a fault signal every two minutes.
啊
Argh!
又来了
And again!
又来了
And again!
破玩意儿
Argh! Fucking thing!
我很倒霉刚好在她气急败坏的时候碰到了她
Unfortunately for me, I ran into her in the middle of all this frustration.
怎么可以帮我把引擎盖掀开吗
Can you help me lift the bonnet?
它怎么了
What's the matter with it?
各种错误代码刹车不好使
Error codes. Brakes don't work.
现在动力输出装置启动不了
Now I can't get the PTO to start to put that down on the floor.
无法把那个放下来引擎盖怎么开
How do you lift the bonnet up? Do you know?
前面有个开关一个黑色按钮
There's a catch on the front, a black button.
按下那个按钮然后把引擎盖掀起来就是那个
You need to press that button and then push it up. There, look.
这个对按进去
There? Yeah. Push it in.
然后掀起来
And then push it up.
不对不行
No, that's not it.
不行
I can't.
别的东西不等一下没有松开
It's everything else... No, no, hold on. That's not releasing it.
你来试我往上掀如果你能把它按进去的话
You try. And I'll lift it up if you can get that in.
好了掀吧
Yeah, go.
我就知道你能行这下我出丑了
I knew you'd be able to do that. Now I'm embarrassed.
好了再说一遍什么问题来着
Okay. So just tell me again, what is the problem?
错误代码18
Error code 18.
"液压电路信♥号♥♥无效"
"Hydraulic circuit signal not valid.
"控制单元检测到油压读数
The control unit detects a discrepancy between the oil pressure reading
与传动装置的工况不一致"
and the operating status of the transmission."
额
Erm...
好的
Yes.
然后是动力输出装置无法启动
And then, the PTO won't start.
我显然听懂了
Obviously I know this.
哪个是动力输出按钮
Which is the PTO button?
在右手边的控制台上
On this console on your right.
你是说这些
You mean these?
是的那是自动动力输出
Yeah. So that's your Auto PTO
那是启动动力输出
and that's your Start PTO.
应该是有个传感器压力传感器之类的
I think it must be a sensor, like a pressure sensor somewhere.
趁你在这里我们把树篱修剪机升起来
Actually, while we're here, shall we lift the hedge cutter up
给你修修眉毛吧
and trim your eyebrows?
什么树篱修剪机
What? The hedge cutter?
我的眉毛有什么问题你在开玩笑吧
What's the matter with my eyebrows? Are you kidding?
我很惊讶你还能看见东西
I'm not surprised you can't see anything.
你还说我你的睫毛就像眼皮里爬出两条毛毛虫
Says she with two caterpillars crawling out of her eyelids.
我知道相信我
Well, I know, take it from me.
你的眉毛都垂到眼皮中间了
But they literally come halfway down your eyelids!
你说什么呢
I'm just- What are you on about?
太长了
They are long.
从来没人说过我的眉毛有问题
Well, I've never known anyone say that my eyebrows are wrong.
有问题的东西虽然很多但是
They're a million other things you could say are wrong but...
这样好多了
That's better.
我的眉毛有什么问题太长了
What's the matter with them? They are long.
你有剪子吗有几把我帮你修一下
Have you got any scissors, then? Yeah, I've got some scissors.
来吧
Go on, then.
那是你的直播设备吗来拿着这个
Is this your TikTok equipment? Here, you hold this.
这是什么眉刷
What is it? It's a brush.
好了千万别动
Right, stand very still.
这算是男人修剪体毛吗
Is this manscaping?
是的我也帮我爸修
Yeah, I do this to my dad.
很好
Beautiful.
好了先生
Okay, sir.
看啊要不要刷一下不用了
Look at that! Shall we brush them? No!
可以接着干活了吗好干活吧
Can we just get back to farming? Yeah, let's go to farm now.
所以刹车不好使
So, the brakes aren't working.
我想检查一下里面有没有制动液
I want to check that it's got brake fluid in it.
所以要找到制动液罐说实话我和卡莱布找过了
So we need to find the break reservoir. Honestly, Kaleb and I looked.
我们打电♥话♥问了对方也不知道
We had to ring somebody up and they didn't know.
没人知道这东西的制动液罐在什么地方
No one knows where the brake reservoir is on this thing.
我记得是四年前这是什么
I can remember this from four years- What's this?
什么这是什么
What? What's this?
你找到了
Have you found it?
是的什么
Yeah. What?
里面有制动液那就是刹车坏了
Oh, it's got brake fluid in it. The brakes are just shagged, then.
你好杰拉德
All right, Gerald?
你好你好哈莉特
Hello. Hello, Harriet.
你把树篱修剪得不错考虑到你只能用那样的拖拉机
You made a good job of the hedge, considering the tractor you had to use.
慢着
Hang on a minute.
我清楚记得两年前
I distinctly remember when I used
我用这台拖拉机嗯
this tractor and this machine... Yeah?
修剪同样的树篱时嗯
...on the same hedge two years ago? Yeah?
你说没弄好是我的错
You said it was all my fault that it had gone wrong.
而现在
But now...
当时你不知道如何修剪树篱对吧
Well, you didn't know how to do that at the time properly, did you?
你搞得它就像这样
You just went along with itself going like this.
你有个大大的把它们弄得这么低
You got a great big... Took 'em down as low as that.
我们坐在那里一起喝老香槟
We sat there drinking the old champagne together.
在草地上留下了一个大土堆
You left one great mud heap on the bottom of the grass!
你要多多练习修剪树篱
Takes practise, hedge cutting, big time.
如果你启动这么大的东西
If you start big stuff like this...
我想是大约抡两下我真的以为
I actually thought, genuinely...
如果你要打理整个农场
If you do the whole farm,
它们在那里比在花♥园♥里更自然
they're more natural there than they are in the garden.
它们是老情人了对吧
They got the old love match, haven't they?
你知道你走得太快了
You know, they go too fast...
不管是不是被杰拉德训斥了一顿
After what may or may not have been a ticking-off from Gerald,
回到马车与马酒吧后我长舒了一口气
it was a relief to get back to The Coach & Horses.
所以这里以前是壁炉
So this would have been an open fire, wouldn't it, back in its day?