克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E05

Part 6 June 24, 2025, 12:24 p.m.

我快吓尿了
I'm now shitting myself.
我觉得我们需要一点嗯
I think... We need some... Yeah, that's...
我不想再来一次了
I don't want him to do that again.
因为我从未参加过斗牛也永远都不想参加
Because I've never been to a bull fight, and I never want to go to one.
我们得让它冷静下来
We'll have to let him calm down for a minute.
老天爷好大一头牛
Jesus Christ, that is a big animal.
有人想赚危险津贴吗不用了
Any of you want any danger pay? It's okay!
因为一旦它开始那样我看到了
'Cause when he starts doing that... I see him... Wow.
它只是个宝宝
And he's only a baby.
十分钟后等它终于冷静下来后
Ten minutes later, when he had indeed calmed down...
好孩子继续走
Good lad. Walk on.
我们终于引诱它走进了拖车
We finally enticed him into the trailer.
继续伙计就是这样继续终局好孩子
Go on, bud. Go on, Endgame. Good boy!
到了母牛们生活的草场
And then, down at the field where the girl cows lived,
英勇的摄制组在围栏的另一端严阵以待
with the film crew bravely positioned on the other side of the fence,
我们准备放它出来了
we prepared to let him out.
万一它是同性恋呢我觉得
I think he's... What if he's gay?
听着他还小对吧
Look, the fact is, he's young, isn't he?
万一它是同性恋呢有这个可能
What if he's gay? He might be.
我们照样会爱它现在是2024年了
We'll love him just the same. It's 2024.
我不会因为它花了我们六千英镑如果它是同性恋
Yes, I know. But I won't 'cause he's cost us 6,000 pounds. If he's gay...
你见过同性恋奶牛吗见过
Do you get gay cows? Er, yeah!
那就把它做成价值八千英镑的牛肉汉堡
We'll get 8,000 pounds worth of beef burger out of him.
准备好了吗是的
Ready? Yeah.
它来了
Here he comes.
来吧终局
Come on, Endgame.
它走错方向了
He's gone the wrong way.
终局
Endgame?
它的反应不错是吧不这种反应毫无希望
It's a pretty good reaction, isn't it? No, no, it's a hopeless reaction.
它很镇定七头母牛
Well, no, he's just calm and he's just having a look round.
它们看都不看一眼
Seven ladies. They're not even bothered.
确实
They're not.
你好啊它意识到自己自♥由♥了
Ooh, hello. Now he's realised the freedom!
它自♥由♥了它喜欢这样你看那些母牛
He's free. He likes that. Look at the girls!
它们发现它了它们都转过来了
Hello, they've spotted him. They've all turned round!
它们发现它了瞧它过去了看啊
They've spotted him. Oh, look, he's off. Ooh! Look at that!
多么美妙的叫声
What a noise.
它们在追它是的
Oh, they're chasing him! Yep!
不要什么情况它们为什么要追它
Nope! Why are they chasing him?
过来这里
Come on here. Come on here! Come on here!
不别过来
No, bollocks to that!
每个人都知道性♥爱♥是必要的就是不知道该怎么做
Everybody knows sex is needed but they don't know how to have it.
它有点像十多岁的孩子是吧
He is a bit like a teenager, though, isn't he?
因为它是一头小它们都是
Because he is a young... Well, they all are.
它们跑来跑去的像是一场元媛舞会
So they are running around like a debutantes' ball.
来吧终局
Come on, Endgame.
拿出行动让我们看看
Let's have a look at you in action.
不搞反了
Oh no! It's the wrong way round! Wrong way round!
为什么会有母牛骑公牛
Why did a cow mount the bull?
又搞反了反了
Wrong way round again. Wrong.
你看那头母牛可能发♥情♥了对
She might be on heat, look. She might be on heat.
但现在是母牛想要骑公牛
But she's the one that's trying to mount him.
这算是我也是吗是不是有点这个意思
Is that "Hashtag MeToo" this? It is, isn't it, a bit?
什么是"我也是"
What is "MeToo"?
你明知故问我不知道
You know what that is. I don't.
我也是
"Hashtag MeToo"?
拜托别告诉我你没听说过
Please tell me you've heard of that?
是一个色♥情♥网♥站♥吗不是
Is that a porn site or something? No!
刚好相反正好相反
No, it's kind of the opposite. It's the exact opposite of that.
我不明白我根本没必要说话因为我不
I don't understand. There's no point me even talking 'cause...
又搞反了
Ooh! It's the wrong way again.
那天晚上我睡不着觉
That night I didn't sleep.
我在担心酒吧的事
I was worried about the pub.
所以第二天一早在签订合同之前
So the next morning, before signing on the dotted line,
我决定找买♥♥过酒吧的朋友聊聊
I decided I should talk to various mates who'd bought pubs in the past
确保我不会铸下大错
to make sure I wasn't making a big mistake.
早上好是你吗
Morning. Is that you?
首先是我数十年的好友
And I started with a chap who's been a dear friend for decades.
所以你有什么建议吗
So have you got any advice?
（皮尔斯·摩根）
人们会偷酒吧的东西每个酒吧老板都会这样跟你说
People steal stuff from pubs. Every publican will tell you.
他们会偷盐罐胡椒罐刀叉
They'll nick the salt-and-pepper pots. They'll nick knives and forks.
甚至连盘子都偷
They might even nick plates.
墙上挂的画也不放过
They'll nick any art they can rip off the walls.
显然酒驾是个问题
Obviously drink driving's an issue.
在乡下
In the countryside.
在乡下所以你最好是找一个
In the countryside. And that's why you want it kind of...
位于城镇中心的酒吧
In some central hub somewhere,
那里人多可以走路回家
erm, where there are just a mass of people so they can walk home,
也可以轻松叫到出租车
or they can easily get taxis home.
这家酒吧附近一栋房♥子都看不到
No, it's nowhere near any building of any sort.
最近的村子也有八公里
The nearest village is five miles away.
好吧如果你运气好
Right. Maybe, if you're lucky,
也许他们会放宽针对酒驾的法律
maybe they'll relax the drink-driving laws.
看起来每个礼拜能赚五万
You look at it, and it looks like you're making fifty grand a week,
（盖·里奇）
然后一下子变成每个礼拜亏一万
and then it transpires you're losing ten grand a week.
还有招工的问题
And then the staffing issue.
你知道现在招工特别难
Well, you know, staffing, it's so tricky nowadays
因为没有人愿意接受酒吧的工作时间
'cause people just don't wanna work those kinds of hours, it's hard work.
通常几乎全是国外劳工
Normally they're kind of almost overseas labourers.
所以只要英国脱欧不成功你就没事
So again, as long as Brexit doesn't go through, you're gonna be fine as well.
能源成本
Erm, energy costs.
用人成本原材料成本
Staff costs. Ingredients costs.
建筑维护成本
Building maintenance costs.
保险费用会计费用
Insurance costs. Accountancy costs.
修剪草坪的费用
Er, lawn-keeping costs.
重新铺屋顶的费用对我来说是重新铺茅草
Re-thatching costs in my case. Re-gravelling costs.
修补停车场的费用
Mending-the-car-park costs.
招工成本如果我还没提到的话
Hiring-the-staff costs, if I haven't said that already...
第二天
The next day,
在无数人劝我不要买♥♥酒吧之后
after this avalanche of naysaying about pub ownership,
（风车酒吧场地出租与餐厅）
我做出了一个重大决定
I made a big decision.
你知道这是什么花吗
You know what this flower is?
是我的
It's mine.
这棵树
This tree?
我的
Mine.
那盆植物
That plant pot?
我的
Mine.
那个酒吧
That pub?
也是我的
It's mine!
这是钥匙
These are the keys!
我买♥♥下来了
I bought it!
我之所以如此开心是因为有了酒吧之后
The reason I was so happy is that now I had the pub,
我的农业合作社又可以搞起来了
I could put the farmers' cooperative back together.
这一次合作社会更大也更好
And this time it would be bigger and better.
经营酒吧所需的各种原料
Instead of buying what we need to operate the pub
我们不向肉店酒商和批发商采购
from butchers and wine merchants and wholesalers,
全部找农户采购
we buy everything from the field
从而让农户受益不让批发商受益
to benefit the farmer rather than the wholesalers.
这样很好对
That will be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
英国出产的东西
British-grown stuff.
我们可以从世界各地进口
We could import everything from the four corners of the planet
但我们不会这样做
but we're not gonna do that.
我们不供应咖啡或可口可乐
We're not having coffee and we're not having Coca Cola.
不是英国出产的东西我们一律不卖♥♥ 就是这样
If it's not grown and reared in Britain, we're not selling it.
如果我们采用这样的方式比方说你负责一月和二月的供货
If we get into a system of like, for example you supply January, Feb...
你负责五月的供货嗯
You supply, you know, May.
你懂我意思嗯
Do you see what I mean? Yeah.
所以你负责卡车和芦笋好
So you do the lorry and the asparagus. Yeah.
你负责羊和火鸡好