克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E06

Part 5 June 24, 2025, 12:24 p.m.

Forty thousand for three umbrellas?
对伞很大直径八米三把遮阳伞要四万英镑
Yeah. They're massive. Eight metres. £40,000 for three umbrellas?
是的
Yeah.
如果不把木平台遮住遇到下雨天没人能在那里用餐
If you didn't cover the terrace and it was raining, no one can eat there.
我很清楚我们需要遮阳伞
No, I'm well aware that we need umbrellas, I know that,
但我发自内心地认为这个价格太离谱了
but I really genuinely believe that's nuts.
我们是想避免
What we were trying to avoid was having....
其实可以用便宜得多的方法遮住木平台
Because we could cover that deck a lot more cheaply
改用小遮阳伞就行了
with more of a parasol-type situation.
嗯但是酒吧位于山顶上考虑到木平台的面♥积♥
Yeah. But given the size of the deck,
我们需要大概五十把小遮阳伞
we would need probably fifty.
这会让木平台变成一片伞的海洋
So it would sort of just look like a sea of umbrellas.
而且桌子可能是那种形状
Plus the table's probably that shape.
伞是圆的放在中间如果有点阳光问题不大
The brolly's round in the middle. A lovely bit of sun, no probs.
苏会被淋成落汤鸡我就没事
So Sue's getting soaking wet. I'm okay.
瑞秋在里面你会被淋湿是啊
Rachel's in. You're wet. Yeah.
就是这样我的人生怎么会搞成这样
End of. How have I reached this point in life?
你这样说是不是表示同意买♥♥巨型遮阳伞了
Have you come round to the brollies now you've said it?
不是我只是无法相信我活了6♥4♥岁了竟然会有人
No, I just cannot believe I'm 6♥4♥ and somebody's just said to me,
一本正经地对我说
in all seriousness:
"对了那些伞要四万英镑"
"Oh, by the way, the umbrellas are forty thousand."
这么多钱都够买♥♥一辆高尔夫GTI了
You can buy a fucking Golf GTI for that. Did you sort of hope
你原本希望买♥♥酒吧的钱占开支的大头吗
that the purchase of the pub might be the big one?
我原本想的是弄个新吧台就可以开张了
I just thought I'd put a new bar in and open it up.
这恰恰是你不需要的现在这个吧台就挺好的
That's probably the one thing you don't really need. That bar's fine.
额
Erm...
我们还没告诉你买♥♥家具要多少钱呢
We haven't told you how much the furniture is yet.
是啊丽莎看了一些很漂亮的家具
Yeah. Lisa saw some lovely stuff.
非常不错的选择多少钱
Really good choices. Yeah, and how much?
四万英镑对
Forty thousand. Yeah.
好吧遮阳伞的事怎么定
Okay, where are we on the umbrellas?
你们得给我一个小时考虑一下
You're gonna have to give me an hour to think about it.
好的
Okay, fine.
预算严重超支
With the budget being blown to smithereens,
我出去跟阿兰聊了聊
I went outside to have a catch-up with Alan.
这东西太棒了很棒吧
This is amazing this stuff, isn't it? It's brilliant, innit?
你可以走两步试试你看
And you try it, look.
绝对不会有人摔倒是吧是的除非你喝得烂醉
You really can't fall over, can you? No. Well, unless you're pissed.
你想听好消息还是坏消息好消息是这里景色很好
Right, do you want the good news or the bad? I know it's a beautiful view.
什么坏消息
What?
成本翻了一倍
It's fucking gone up double, ain't it?
什么成本这个翻了一倍多因为那个
What has? This. Over double. 'Cause of that.
什么是的抱歉
What? Yeah. I'm sorry.
你在开玩笑吧不我没开玩笑
You're kidding. No! No, I'm not kidding.
之前说的是两万英镑现在要四万多
It's gonna be over forty thousand now, from the twenty.
我们也没办法他们说要用防滑板
But look, we've got no option. They said anti-slip decking.
我们只能用这种板子
We cannot do it without this kind of stuff, look.
这就要增加两万英镑
And that adds £20,000? Yeah.
是的板子的成本增加了一万六
Yeah, it's- What? That?
外加额外的人工成本
It's gonna add about sixteen,
外加其他额外成本
plus the labour's extra, plus everything's extra.
锯片切不动它我得不断买♥♥锯片
The blades, you can't cut it, I had to keep buying blades.
好吧
Right, well, okay.
关于遮阳伞的争论有结果了
That settles this umbrella debate. You know these forty--
是的我们不要遮阳伞一把都不要
Yeah, we're not having 'em. None of that.
不等一下
No, but hold on a minute.
你知道那种从建筑上伸出来的那种遮阳帆吧
You know those sails that you get coming off buildings?
如果把遮阳帆从我还是指给你看吧
If you ran them from between... Oh, I'll show you actually.
如果把遮阳帆
If you ran the sails...
如果把遮阳帆固定在门框顶部与排水管之间嗯
If you mounted them between the top of the door and the drainpipe... Yes.
然后让它斜着向下
If you put a slope on them...
不我会让它斜着向上这里立一根杆子先向上再向下
No, I'd go up. And I'd put a pole here. You can go up, then go again.
说真的
To be honest,
村里的"三个马蹄铁"酒吧用的是帐篷
they've just put a sort of tented arrangement up at the Three Horseshoes.
是吗
Have they?
我们把遮阳帆弄来看看效果如何
We gotta get 'em here and have a look, haven't we? See what they can do.
好
Yeah.
显然花个两万五千英镑就能让酒吧开张的想法
Clearly, the notion of opening the pub for £25,000
与实际情况差了十万八千里
had been massively wide of the mark.
（风车场地出租与餐厅）
但我现在没时间想这个
But there was no time to dwell on that,
因为像个人肉乒乓球一般来回奔波的我
because in my new role as human ping-pong ball,
要赶回农场
I had to bounce back to the farm
那里又有一窝猪崽刚刚出生了
where we'd just had a new crop of piglets.
我去
Holy shit!
它一只都没压死吧一支猪崽大军
Has she kept them all? An army of them.
一二
One, two,
三四五六七八九你数不清的
three, four, five. You wouldn't be able to count them.
那下面还有一只十只
Six, seven, eight, nine and then one under there, ten.
没有伤亡
No casualties. Wow!
你看它们爬来爬去的样子老天太可爱了
Look at the way they just climb all over! Oh, my God, they're so cute.
它是个好妈妈对吧
She's a great mum, though, isn't she?
我简直不敢相信这是个天大的好消息
I can't believe it. This is tremendous news.
然后我们去看理查德·汉姆
Then we went over to see Richard Ham
因为兽医迪尔翁想到了一个照顾它的新计划
because Dilwyn the vet had come up with a new plan for looking after him.
现在的情况是这样的
So here's the situation.
理查德·汉姆已经到了快对它的姐♥妹♥们♥下手的年龄了
Richard Ham's now old enough to start having a go on his sisters
所以必须把它跟公猪关在一起
so we have to put him back in the boy pen.
好的
Good.
但是迪尔翁说如果直接把它和公猪关在一起
But Dilwyn says if we put him straight in the boy pen,
它们会欺负它甚至有可能弄死它
they'll beat him up. They might even kill him.
噢
Oh.
他说唯一的办法是搭一个小猪圈
So he said the only way round that
我已经在那里搭好了
is to build a little pen, which I've done here,
然后放一只最小的公猪陪它
and then for company, give him the smallest boy,
理查德汉姆可以跟它的朋友一起生活建立友谊
and Richard Ham and his friend can live together in here and they bond,
然后一周后放它们出来希望不会有事
then after a week we can release them and hopefully all will be well.
好的
Okay.
好了理查德
All right, Richard?
理查德·汉姆在那里好极了
There's Richard Ham. Perfect.
干得漂亮卡哥
Oh, well done, K.
现在汉姆放进去了我们就拭目以待吧
So now, Ham is in there, okay? Let's just see...
它会没事的
He'll be fine.
嗯这两只将成为好朋友
Yeah, so these two will become friends.
然后一周后我们把它们放回这边
Then after a week, we put them back in here
那只小猪会保护理查德·汉姆让它不被欺负
and that one will protect Richard Ham from being beaten up.
理查德·汉姆是个快乐的小家伙我知道
The thing about Richard Ham is he's such a cheerful little fellow. I know.
它还没有开始骑摩托车或者在酒吧里打架
He hasn't started riding a motorcycle yet or having fights in pubs.
我喜欢它的单片眼镜
I love his little monocle.
但将来它会的
But he will.
它们看起来很开心
They seem to be perfectly happy.
那头猪看起来性格不错
That one looks like a nice-natured pig.
额
Erm...
什么麻烦了
Oh! Problem! Oh! What's...? Ow...
理查德
Richard!
它就那样傻站着那是它的兄弟啊
He's just standing there. It's his brother!
那是它的兄弟把它放进去是让它保护理查德的
It's his brother and he's supposed to be in there to make Richard safe.
天哪我从没见过这种情况
Oh my God. I've never seen that before!
《激流四勇士》搞错了小猪不会尖叫
Deliverance was wrong. Piggies don't squeal.
它完事了
He's just finished up.
好吧听着杰里米
Okay, look, Jeremy.
如果把它跟公猪关在一起我认为它会被轮♥奸♥的
I think he's gonna get gang raped if he stays with any of the boys.
那也不能把它跟母猪关在一起
Well, he can't go with the girls.
至少它不会怀孕
Well, at least he's not gonna get pregnant.
问题并没有解决是的
Well, we haven't really cured anything here.
我们得给迪尔翁打电♥话♥
We have to call Dilwyn.
你怎么跟他说我就问他 "我该怎么办"
Well, what are you gonna say? I'm gonna say, "What shall I do?"
有一种现象你们听说过雄化牝犊吗
There's a thing, yeah. Have you ever heard of a freemartin?
没有
No.
你没听说过简单来说就是一头牛怀上了双胞胎
You've never heard of a freemartin? So basically, if a cow has twins in it...
生下来一头公牛一头母牛
Yeah. It gives birth to one boy, one girl.