克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E02

Part 2 May 27, 2025, 10:03 p.m.

政♥府♥的酒吧警♥察♥规定酒吧必须被规划警♥察♥
the government's pub police say that it must be listed
列为E类经营场所才行
by the planning police as a Class E establishment.
欢迎大家来到自♥由♥世界
Welcome, everyone, to the free world.
等着瞧吧这个地方会让你大开眼界的
You wait till you see this place. It will blow your mind. Ouh!
我找到的这家E类酒吧位于水上伯顿村的主干道旁
The main-road Class E pub I'd found was in Bourton-on-the-Water...
这里是科茨沃尔德游客最多的观光小镇
The most visited tourist town in the Cotswolds.
酒吧名叫"马车与马"
It was called The Coach & Horses.
和该地区的很多酒吧一样
And like so many pubs in the area,
它正在走向破败
it was going to ruin.
它有四百年历史非常棒
It's 400 years old. It's fantastic.
哇
Wow.
现在关门了
And it's shut.
它不断破产
It keeps going bankrupt.
这么多年在这里开店的全都失败了
Nobody has been able to make it work as a business for donkey's years.
为什么不知道完全没道理
Why? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.
你看那是石头屋顶
Look at it. Look at it.
不是石板是石头
That is a stone roof. It's not slate, it's stone.
哇
Wow.
而且不仅能得到酒吧还能得到这个
And you don't just get the pub. You get this,
目前大概有五间卧室就像爱彼迎的客房♥ 太棒了
which is presently, I think, five bedrooms. Wow! Airbnb rooms.
而且看起来你将得到所有这些
They look amazing. You get all this.
跟我来
And follow me.
看看还有什么
Look what else.
还有这个
You get this
可以打造成漂亮的花♥园♥
and you make a lovely garden.
还有这个
And this.
哇好大一块地
Wow! That's a huge space.
那边的旧石头谷仓嗯
Old stone barn there. Yeah?
那边有一个石头谷仓正面是木头的
There's a stone barn there with a wooden front,
你看全都是石头屋顶所以你将得到酒吧
look, all with stone roofs. So you get the pub.
那个石头屋顶的石头谷仓
You get that stone barn with the stone roof.
这个石头谷仓肉店
This stone barn... Butcher shop.
我喜欢肉店
I love that!
你的店迪丽斯库阿特商店
Your shop, your Diddly Squat shop.
真不错漂亮的大窗户好看是的
Amazing. With those lovely big windows. Yeah. Yeah, lovely.
价格还不及嗯
For less... Yeah?
距离伯明翰16公里的一栋三居室平房♥
Than the price of a three-bedroom bungalow
或者一栋两居室
ten miles from Birmingham, or a two-bedroom flat.
不可能伦敦郊区的一套两居室公♥寓♥
Stop it! Two-bedroom flat in a suburb of London.
不可能这怎么可能
Stop the lights! How is that possible?
因为现在的酒吧就是这么便宜是啊
Because pubs, they're just so cheap. Yeah.
非常便宜
They're so cheap.
哇
Wow!
我是说看啊我♥干♥得不错
I mean, hello! I have done well.
我可能会同意你的看法
I think I might agree with you.
好了想进去看看吗我很期待
Anyway, do you want to see inside now? I'm so excited.
不过我们先要经过一大堆让人宾至如归的告示牌
First, though, we had to get past the barrage of welcoming signs.
我明白它为何会关门了
I can see why it closed.
我从未见过如此明确地
I've never ever been into a pub that says "fuck off"
对客人说"滚蛋"的酒吧
more clearly than this one does.
你在恶心什么上帝啊
Urgh! What do you mean "urgh"?
那里有东西我不知道
Oh my God, there's something. I don't know if it's--
是什么你看
What is it? Look.
像是一只好大一只像是鼻涕虫
It's like it's really big... Oh, it's a sluggy thing!
不是鼻涕虫比鼻涕虫大
It's not a slug. It's bigger than a slug.
还有虫宝宝好恶心就是鼻涕虫
Oh, it is a slug. It's got babies. That's disgusting.
所以进来以后嗯
So you come in. Yeah?
你会见到低矮的房♥梁壁炉温馨的吧台
You've got the low beams. You've got the fireplace. A cosy bar.
天哪布局太差劲了
Oh God. It's just so badly laid out.
除了穿过酒吧的楼梯
Well, apart from the staircase going through the bar.
对为什么要穿过酒吧我搞不懂
Now, why they run it through the bar, I don't know.
这是个缺陷
That is a drawback.
噢
Oh. Oh.
这和我上次看到的不一样这里看起来不太
This has changed since I was last... This doesn't look very...
噢
Oh!
老天爷
Oh, Jesus.
实话实说我第一次来看的时候
Now, I've gotta be honest, when I first looked round,
那个还没掉下来
that hadn't fallen down.
但现在
But now...
天哪你看都朽烂了
Oh my God, look, that's rotten.
完全朽烂了
That is totally rotten.
你太消极了
You're so negative.
我是说
I mean...
漂亮的开关
Lovely light fittings.
这里以前是一家印度餐厅直到
You know it was an Indian restaurant until...
最近一次倒闭前是印度餐厅
Well, its most recent incarnation was as an Indian restaurant.
我看这里需要翻修
I think it's a fixer upper.
我勒个去杰里米
For fuck's sake, Jeremy!
怎么了这里是不是被火烧过
What's the matter? Has that been in a fire?
那里是的被火烧过本来就是用来烧火的
Well, yes, it has been in a fire because that's the point of it.
臭死了这里肯定发生过火灾
It stinks! There has been a fire in here, you know that?
难怪
No wonder it...
我喜欢的臭味是从那里发出来的
What I love... Is that what smells?
每个人的生意都会
Everybody's business goes...
做生意难免会有关门的时候
There is a moment when you're in business and then you're not in business.
他们煮这锅东西的时候正赶上关门
They were cooking this at that precise moment and it's still there.
这锅东西还在这里应该是菠菜土豆它
It's a saag aloo, I believe. It's...
天哪
Oh, God.
你觉得应该是 "把这口锅洗干净然后就不干了"
You'd think, "Well, I'll just wash this pan up, then I'll go out of business."
但他们的情况是 "正在炖菠菜土豆呢
But they were just going: "I'm just making the saag aloo."
酒吧就倒闭了"
"You're out of business."
楼上会不会好一些
Does upstairs get better?
她见到楼上的景象不会开心的
She's not going to be very pleased when she sees what's up there.
天哪
Oh, my God.
杰里米
Jeremy!
这地毯也曾光彩过
The carpets have seen better days, I will admit.
我是说
I mean...
不要在一个地方站太久不然你会黏在地板上
Don't stand still too long because you'll stick to the floor.
啊
Urgh!
老天爷
Urgh!
不会吧
Man!
太恶心了他们
That is bad! They've... Urgh!
你看 "消防出口"
Look, "Fire exit". It's just on a wall!
在一堵墙上哪边这边还是那边
Which way? This way or that way?
上面写着"消防出口" "消防出口" 快跑
It just says... "Fire exit". "Fire exit"! Run.
没有箭头
No arrow.
还有装♥修♥这里的人是全宇宙
And then, it was decorated by the laziest man
最懒的人知道吗
in the universe, okay?
只是随便刷了一点涂料
"Go in there and give that a lick of paint."
这里有一个禁止吸烟标牌
So he got to this little "No Smoking" sign...
只是对 "我可以把标牌取下来
and just thought: "I could take that off the wall.
也可以刷点涂料了事"
Or, I'll just paint over it."
这是什么
What is this?
注意请不要干扰这个报♥警♥器及其传感器
Attention. Please do not interfere with this alarm or any of its sensors.
为了避免安保人员迅速赶到
To prevent security officers arriving shortly...
这是什么鬼东西请将钥匙放在亮灯处
What the fuck is that? ...put your key on the light.
你做到了是吧
Oh, you've done it now, haven't you?
我觉得我们可以
See, I think what we can do...
我没有谁有钥匙
I haven't got... We've got a key.
不如把它扔到窗外
Look, why don't you just throw it out the window?
不别扔这不是我们的东西
No, no, no, don't do that, this is not ours.
噢
Oh!
这个防盗器质量不行才响了十秒就不响了
It's not a very good burglar alarm if it goes off after ten seconds, is it?
最后我们来到了阁楼
Finally, we reached the attic,
连我也不得不承认阁楼有点问题
where even I will admit there was a bit of a problem.
看了这么多到目前为止我认为这是最可怕的
I think of all the things I've seen so far, this is the scariest.
什么你看这显然是一根承重梁
Because, look, this is obviously a supporting beam,
有人把它切断了
and somebody has just cut it
以便过去那边
so they can get through there.
什么怎么会
What? How?