克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S04E06

Part 6 June 24, 2025, 12:24 p.m.

嗯那头母牛搞不清自己的性别
Yeah? The girl comes out not knowing what sex it is.
我的意思是那只小公猪
Now, what I'm saying is that little boy there
把尾巴撇在一边以为自己是母猪
moved his tail to one side thinking it was a girl.
所以我在想它有没有可能是跨性别
So I wonder if it could actually be trans.
什么我们这里有跨性别猪
What, we've got trans pigs?
这就好比参加工党执行委员会的会议
This is like being in a Labour Party executive committee meeting now.
这种现象是存在的我们就不能好好做个农民吗
There's a thing. Can we be farmers just for a minute?
他说得有道理我本来就是农民
He's got a point. I am being a farmer.
这种事是存在的我在一个农场工作过
This is what happens. Like, I was once working on a farm, yeah?
就在库珀教授喋喋不休的时候
As Professor Cooper chuntered on... It basically had a penis and a vagina.
理查德·汉姆再次施展魔术大♥法♥
...Richard Ham made another Houdini move
逃回主猪圈又跟它的兄弟和表亲在一起了
and escaped into the main pen with all his brothers and cousins.
于是我电♥话♥联♥系♥了迪尔翁
So, I got on the phone with Dilwyn.
理查德·汉姆我照你的建议做了
So Richard Ham, I did as you suggested.
我在公猪猪圈的角落里为它搭了一个小猪圈
I built a little pen in the corner of the boy pen for him,
将另外一只公猪放了进去
got another boar, put it in there,
然后把理查德·汉姆和它关在一起
then put Richard Ham in with that boy.
嗯结果一分钟不到
Yeah? And within a minute,
那只公猪就惨无人道地强♥奸♥了它
the other boar brutally raped him.
好吧
Right.
我觉得是这样它们到了青春期了对吧
I think basically they were just being adolescent boys, aren't they really?
它们只是
And they just, er...
不迪尔翁我不知道威尔士是什么情况
No, well, no. Dilwyn, I don't know how things were in Wales
但是在约克郡我绝对不会说
but in Yorkshire I never thought:
"好吧" 我从未有过这种想法
"Oh, well..." No, at no point did it cross my mind.
现在理查德·汉姆跟其他公猪关在一起
And now Richard Ham was now with all the other boars.
它们欺负它了吗
And is he getting beaten up over there?
暂时还没有但是
No, not yet, but...
如果是我
The way that I would do it with him:
我会等等看观察其他公猪的反应
wait and see what happens now he's with the big group.
如果它和其他公猪相安无事那你的问题就解决了
'Cause if he's okay with the big group, that's your problem sorted really.
好吧谢了伙计再见好的不客气再见
All right. Thanks, mate. Cheers. Bye, bye. Okay. Bye.
幸运的是下一项与动物打交道的工作就简单多了
Fortunately, my next animal job was much more straightforward
因为对象是山羊
because it involved the goats,
过去几周它们一直待在训练草场
who for the last few weeks had been in their training pasture
逐步适应它们的高科技隐形围栏
getting used to their hi-tech invisible fence.
好这里是草场好吧
Right, here's the pasture, okay?
它们在这里你看
This is where they are. There you go, look.
埃隆的死亡射线让它们始终待在我们希望它们待的地方
That Elon's death ray is keeping them where we want them to be.
好来吧山羊们
Right, come on, goats.
准备好了吗好了
Are you ready? I'm ready.
现在它们完全听话了
Now they were fully compliant, though,
我可以放它们出来让它们做当初买♥♥它们时
I could release them to do the job I'd bought them
想让它们做的工作了
for in the first place.
来吧山羊们来吧
Come on, goats.
来吧山羊们
Come on, goats.
工作就是清除农场中不易到达处的荆棘丛
Which was to clear the brambles in all the inaccessible parts of the farm.
原来山羊真的很擅长爬坡
It turns out goats are really good on a hill.
要的就是这个效果
That's kind of the point!
开始了
So this is it.
我们的"清除行动"启动了在我们永远都无法围起来的地方
Now we're on Operation Clear, where we would never ever be able to fence.
你看那边
Look at that in there.
它们在狼吞虎咽简直就是山羊的天堂
They're ravenous, aren't they? That is just goat paradise.
它们在这里清理了多大面♥积♥了
How much of the area have they got here then?
嗯看看应用就知道了
Well... Look at the app.
我没有那个应用我有
I don't have the app. I've got it.
这个应用很棒对吧快六亩了
It's a bit less than an acre.
不对是一公顷够了
A hectare rather.
是的因为我们只想让它们啃食特定区域的荆棘丛
Yeah, yeah, no, 'cause you want them to just graze certain areas down
然后把它们转移到别处
and then move them through.
就像围牧一样
So it's like mob grazing.
这就是当初买♥♥它们的目的让它们搞定这些荆棘丛
But this is what we got them for, is to nail these brambles.
这才多久不到五分钟吧你们看
And within, what, five minutes,
那片荆棘丛就快被消灭了
that bramble bush is really in trouble.
太棒了
That's fantastic.
除了让新买♥♥的牛长胖
Apart from making the new cows fatter,
动物管理方面就没有什么急需解决的问题了
there were no more immediate animal-management demands.
于是我将注意力转回到了风车餐厅上来
So, I turned my attention back to The Windmill,
我突然有了一个奇思妙想
where I'd had a brainwave.
离正方形大概只差十到十五厘米
It's only about ten to fifteen mil out of square.
为了突出酒吧与农场的关联
In order to highlight my pub's connection to farming,
我打算在天花板上挂一台旧拖拉机
I would hang an old tractor from the ceiling.
不过我想先把拖拉机改造一番
First, though, I wanted to get it modified.
好拖拉机已经有了
Okay, I've got the tractor
现在需要将它镀铬并减轻重量
and now I need to get it chromed and lightened.
我一直认为遇到这种工作
And I always think when you've got a job like that,
最好是把它交给村里的小矮人
you're better off giving it to a little man in a village.
所以我来到了一个远离文明几百公里的村子
So I've come to a village hundreds and hundreds of miles from civilisation
村里有个超矮的小矮人他将为我完成这项工作
where there's a very little man who's going to do the work for me.
他在那里
There he is.
伙计
Mate!
你好欢迎就是就是这台
Hello! Welcome. This is... This is it?
对
Yeah.
那是1935年款我知道
That's a 35. I know it is.
非常漂亮的拖拉机
That's a really nice tractor.
当然了在你们这里这就算是现代化了对吧
This, of course, where you live, is called "modern", isn't it?
这玩意真不错别人看到了会说
Out here, it's a fine thing! People going:
"看啊这是内燃机吗"
"Look at this. Is that internal combustion?"
我见过比这台更破的
We have worse than this turn up. "Now look 'ere."
我见过更破的拖拉机送来修复的我们这里不是威尔士
We have worse than this turn up for restoration. We're not Welsh.
就是威尔士不是威尔士
It is Wales. It's not Wales.
大约四个小时之前我穿过了M5高速路
I crossed the M5 about four hours ago.
M5不是边境线就是
The M5 isn't the boundary. It is the bor--
不是就是当你
It isn't. It is.
不是说威尔士人站在M5的这边
It's not Welsh people on one side of the M5
英格兰人拿着弓箭站在另一边
and English with bows and arrows on the other.
就是
Well, it is.
在我们搞清楚了几百年的政♥治♥和地理知识后
Once we'd sorted out several hundred years of politics and geography,
话题又回到了我的拖拉机上
we got back to my tractor.
我需要把重量降到750公斤以下不然会把屋顶拉塌
So we've gotta get it down to under 750 kilograms or I'll pull the roof down.
如果把拖拉机内部掏空把传动轴之类的全都拿掉
If we take all the internals out, everything, prop shafts, everything...
然后镀铬给引擎盖和轮拱镀铬
And then chrome the bonnet and the wheel arches.
你想给哪些部位镀铬红色的部位
Which bits do you want to chrome? The red bits.
哦好所以你不想给这些地方镀铬
Oh, right. So you don't wanna chrome all these bits?
不想
No.
我觉得应该用汉默莱特的漆好
Yeah! I think that should be Hammerite.
黑色你知道的那种
Black? Well, you know, that...
对是叫汉默莱特吧
Is it Hammerite?
汉默莱特确实是一种漆这是你的专业领域
Hammerite is... It's your world, this.
没错我知道
Yeah, it is! Yes, I know.
感觉好奇怪
This is so weird!
现在那是你的专业领域而那是我的专业领域
That's your world now and that's my world now.
你得在童话闹剧季开始前完工
Now, you've gotta get this done before panto season starts.
那就是说
Does that mean the cust--
你什么时候去斯温顿
So when are you off to Swindon?
我不去你会去的我不去你会去的
I'm not going to... I'm not. You are. You are.
知道吗你上我们的节目了以什么方式
You know you're in the show? In what way?
隆重的方式
Oh, in a big way.
怎么可能我还什么事都没做呢
Well, how can I be in it? I haven't done anything in it.
不你已经做了只是你不知道而已
No, you have, but you just don't know you have.
你做出了巨大的贡献好吧跟你说实话吧
Your contribution is immense, I've gotta be honest with you.
非常亮眼而且有点没有尊严
Immense and in some ways... not dignified.
好吧
Right.
卸下拖拉机后
Once the tractor was off,
话锋一转聊到了我最不喜欢的话题
the conversation turned to my least favourite topic.
好了你想谈谈价格和预算吗
Right, do you wanna talk prices and budget?
大笔预算没问题
We can do. It's filthy money.
那个酒吧的各项预算都严重超标了
On that pub, everything costs too much money.
很好我们也可以超标对
Good. Well, we can keep up with that. Yeah.
我是说你的预算是几百几千几万还是几百万
I mean, are we talking hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands or millions?