大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S04E08

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:20 a.m.

We're on a date now.
我们现在在约会
And this is Lincoln. He is my...
这是林肯他是我的
boy... friend?
男朋友
Yeah. He's my boyfriend.
是的他是我男朋友
That's great.
真好
Wow, that took a long time...
花了挺长时间
to say.
才说出来
Huh, a taxidermy room.
动物标本室
Oh. Nothing. Hi.
没什么你好
Uh, Jaimé, this is, um...
海眉这是
Richard, um...
理查德
he was my teach guy.
他以前是我的老师
Not anymore. That's why we're on a date.
现在不是了所以我们在约会
I mean, it's not why He used to be your teacher?
这倒不是原因他以前是你老师
And now you're on a date?
你们现在在约会
Yes.
是的
Ow. Excuse me, I'm gonna...
不好意思我
Ow! Can't... touch. I'm so sorry.
不能摸抱歉
Okay, is it kinda weird that we're on a date?
我们约会是不是有点怪
I mean, not really.
没有吧
I mean, we're adults, right?
我们是成年人了对吗
Yeah, you're right. I am an adult now.
没错我是成年人了
"Supposably".
"可想象得到"
Supposedly. With a D.
大概后面是D
Sorry. English teacher mode.
抱歉英语老师职业病
It's fine.
没事
Speaking of which, I did love it when
说到这个我特别喜欢
you used to make Tina Palmer stop saying "like" so much.
你以前不让蒂娜·帕尔默说太多的"就像"
She'd never let me sit at her lunch table
她从不让我坐在她的午餐桌
because, "Like, I wasn't hot enough."
因为"就像我不够性感"
What? Yeah!
什么是的
You were so much cuter than her.
你比她可爱多了
I mean, you're not so bad yourself.
你自己也不赖
I used to think about you like that.
我以前常这么想你
I used to think about you like that too.
我以前也常这么想你
I, um...
我
I have to go piss...
我得去小便
hard.
特别急
I'm gonna...
我
Hon, do zip me up. Of course, m'lady.
亲爱的帮我拉上拉链好的夫人
Oh, sweetie, let me get that for you.
亲爱的我来吧
Your fingers are for two things.
你的手指只用做两件事
Filling cavities, and filling cavities.
填补蛀洞填补小♥穴♥
Oh, you!
你真淫♥荡♥
My man.
我的男人
Ilana, I'm gonna be honest
阿♥拉♥娜我就实话实说了
'cause we're in a relationship now.
因为我们现在在交往
I don't think you got this 100% right.
你领带好像没有打好
This is... this is horrible.
这太丑了
I promise to improve. You're my priority now.
我保证会改善你现在是我的重心了
Ilana?
阿♥拉♥娜
I need to talk.
借一步说话
BRB, Abbi's a priority.
马上回来艾比比较重要
Whoa, love that outfit. Thank you.
喜欢你这身衣服谢谢
Okay, I don't know if I can do this with Richard.
我不知道我能不能和理查德约会
He's, like, really creeping me out.
他把我吓到了
So hot. No, it's not, okay?
真性感不是的好吗
He said he thought about me like that.
他说他以前对我有那方面的幻想
Like, when I was his student, though.
在我还是学生的时候
I mean, you don't think...
你不会觉得
that he jerked off to me?
他曾对着我自♥慰♥吧
Yeah. Really?
肯定啊是吗
Bitch, durr.
贱♥人♥ 当然了
All teachers jerk off to their students.
所有老师都会对他们的学生自♥慰♥
No, they don't. All teachers do not jerk off to their students.
才不是所有老师都不会对他们的学生自♥慰♥
Sweet Abbi.
天真的艾比
Once students have flowered,
一旦学生成熟了
teachers are either them
老师要么在和他们上♥床♥
or jerking off to them.
要么就对着他们自♥慰♥
Respect the ones who only jerk off.
尊重那些只自♥慰♥的老师吧
The other ones are in the news.
剩下的都上新闻了
No, no, no!
不不不
Ilana, no.
阿♥拉♥娜不
We can't control our thoughts, dude.
我们不能控制我们的思想姐们
Jerking off is not a crime.
自♥慰♥不是犯罪
Well, it depends on where you do it.
要看你在哪自♥慰♥了
In the privacy of their own home?
私下在自己家里
Listen, if Lincoln and I ever have children and--
听着要是我和林肯有孩子的话
believe me, we're not talking about that for a couple of years,
相信我最近几年是不可能的
I hope their teachers are jerking off to them.
我希望他们的老师对着他们自♥慰♥
You do?
是吗
If it keeps their disgusting hands
如果能让他们恶心的手
off my hot-ass, bl-ewish kids,
远离我性感黑犹孩子的话
then yeah.
那么是的
I don't know, it still creeps me out.
我说不好还是觉得很变♥态♥
All right, let's get real.
我们现实点
You ever jerk off to JTT?
你对着JTT自♥慰♥过吗
Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Yeah, I mean, all the time.
乔纳森·泰勒·托马斯吗一直啊
As he was on "Home Improvement",
他在《家居装饰》里
that poreless, olive skin?
皮肤没有毛孔橄榄色的时候吗
Or as he is now, a present day,
还是他现在
31-year-old actor?
一个31岁的演员
Oh, no.
不
I've been jerking off to a teenager every other night.
每隔一晚我就会对着一个少年自♥慰♥
And are you a creep? Are you a criminal?
那你是变♥态♥吗是罪犯吗
We're all jerking off to teenagers.
我们都对着青少年自♥慰♥
And I'll tell you what, they're jerking off to us too.
我跟你说他们也在对着我们自♥慰♥
That's the circle of life.
这就是生命的循环
When you say it like that, it's not creepy at all.
你这么说的时候一点都不变♥态♥了
Yes, dude.
是啊
Jerking off is all we got.
自♥慰♥是我们仅有的财富
It literally saves the world.
拯救世界
Thank you.
谢谢你
♪ It's for the look ♪
♪ 这是为了装逼 ♪
♪ I don't light it ♪
♪ 我不回抽的 ♪
Love it.
棒
Oh, sorry, I'm sorry. Don't don't even, it's
不好意思没事不用
I'm a grown man, so I should have more control
我是成人了我就是觉得
over my pelvic flow, that's all.
我应该把我的骨盆流动控制得更好
No, farts are part of the total relationship package.
不屁是恋爱包裹的一部分
Yeah?
是吗
Watch this.
看我的
Yes!
棒
Yeah. This is like a breakdance battle, but not at all.
这就像是霹雳舞比赛但又完全不是
That was different from the others.
这个屁和其他的都不一样
All good. Excuse me one sec.
没事我失陪一下
Hey, Ilana, have some perspective.
阿♥拉♥娜有点眼界好吗
You shat yourself at a party five weeks ago.
五周前你才在一个派对上把屎拉在裤子里
Hey, sorry about those last few things I said.
抱歉我刚才说的那些话
That sort of came out weird.
听上去有点奇怪
It's fine.
没关系
If we met right now, you'd just be,
如果我们现在才相遇你就只会是个
like, a hot dude who happens to teach.
刚好在教书的性感男人
All right.
好吧
This is, um, actually pretty good.
这酒还挺不错的
Yes, this is, uh, it's amazing.
是的很棒
Got sort of a full body with a tannic grip.
有丹宁味道的丰满酒体
Yeah, I-- I love...
是啊我喜欢
full bodies with tannic grips.
有丹宁味道的丰满酒体
I love those things with my wine.
我喜欢这样的酒