大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S04E06

Part 2 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:20 a.m.

like David Duchovny in that show, and in real life.
就像那个节目里以及现实生活中的大卫·杜楚尼
Ilana, you're being really weird.
阿♥拉♥娜你真的很古怪
Oh, I gotta... run.
我得闪了
My annual family massage appointment.
我一年一度的家庭按♥摩♥聚会
Damn, I am so horned up, dude.
该死我欲♥火♥焚身
Better jerk off before I get on the subway.
在上地铁前得打一发
Ew, Ilana, chill.
恶阿♥拉♥娜淡定
Later, Ab. Super wet!
回见小艾好湿啊
You must be Ilana Wexler.
你一定是阿♥拉♥娜·韦克斯勒了
Come in.
进来
Hi. Thanks.
你好谢谢
Beautiful apartment.
公♥寓♥很漂亮
Is this, um, pre-- pre-war, or... yeah.
这是战前还是
Yeah, I've lived here 50 years.
是的我在这住了五十年了
There's a lot of history in these walls.
墙上有很多历史
So cozy.
好舒服
Wow, you can keep plants alive. You're an adult. Yeah.
你能养活植物你真的是成人嗯
Go on in, don't be shy.
进去吧别害羞
So, Ilana...
所以阿♥拉♥娜
Show me your vulva.
给我看看你的阴♥户♥
So basically, I've had more sex than, like,
差不多呢就是我比全世界
anybody in the entire world.
任何人做的爱都多
Not just average sex, but, like, dank '70s porno sex.
不是普通的做♥爱♥ 而是70年代色情片那种
I can squirt, and like, spray.
我可以潮♥喷♥ 喷射
I leave a cum trail wherever I go,
我所到之处都会留下爱♥液♥痕迹
kind of like a slutty slug.
有点像淫♥荡♥的鼻涕虫
I'm just really on the edge of orgasm at all times.
我随时都想高♥潮♥
So then what seems to be your problem today?
那你今天是有什么问题
It's not, uh, my problem,
不是我的问题
it is my friend Abi's problem,
是我朋友艾比的问题
so I'm just here for her by proxy.
我今天代她过来
She hasn't, uh, orgasmed in months.
她已经很多个月没有高♥潮♥过了
And she's too embarrassed to come, L-O-L, here, to see you.
她又不好意思来[射] 哈哈这看你
I just want to help her be a cum kween
我只想帮她成为像她闺蜜一样的
like her best friend, me, is.
爱♥液♥女王也就是我
So your friend hasn't come in months and you're here for her.
所以你朋友数月没有高♥潮♥ 你为了她来这
Exactly.
没错
Okay. If that's what you want to do.
好吧如果这是你想要的
How's business, Young Abbi? Oh, my God.
生意怎么样年轻艾比天啊
It's going okay.
还行
I've only made five bucks so far.
目前只赚了5块
Would you like a puff of my wand?
你想抽一口我的魔杖吗
It's pretty magical.
很有魔力的
Sure.
好啊
Cool wand.
很酷的魔杖
You seem cold.
你似乎很冷
You know, most people don't realize this,
你知道很多人不知道
but you lose most of your body heat from your upper wing area.
你丢失的大多数热量都来自你的上翼区
Wing area? Oh, I just--
翼区我只是
That feels really good, actually.
感觉真的很不错
Yeah, thank you.
谢谢
All right, well....
那好
Holler if you need anything else.
还有什么需要就叫我
It's lunchtime.
午饭时间到了
I guess it is lunchtime.
估计是了
Hey! Same Tupperware!
嘿一样的保鲜盒
Oh, yeah. Twinsies, I guess.
是啊我们可能是双胞胎
Beautiful, isn't she?
真漂亮对吗
Straight up gorgeous.
太美了
Ilana, I want you to name your vulva.
阿♥拉♥娜我想你给你的阴♥户♥取个名字
What about... "Abbi"?
艾比怎么样
All right, Ilana,
好阿♥拉♥娜
I want you to have a conversation with Abbi.
我想你跟艾比聊天
Tell Abbi how you've been feeling lately.
告诉艾比你最近的感受
Abbi...
艾比
you've been stubborn lately.
你最近很固执
Like, withholding.
在克制
You're so full of shit.
你真的很扯淡
You can't even focus enough to relax.
你连放松都做不到
You're not even a vulva or a vagina.
你甚至不是阴♥户♥或者阴♥道♥
You're just a butthole that happens to bleed.
你只是个刚好会流血的屁♥眼♥
I hate you, bitch! Fuck you!
我恨你贱♥人♥ 操♥你♥妈♥
It's okay. It's just the first layer: rage.
没事这只是第一层感受愤怒
Go deeper.
再深入点
Tell Abbi what's in your heart.
告诉艾比你心里有什么
Abbi, I...
阿碧我
I know it's not you.
我知道问题不在你
It's me.
在我
I increased my dosage of antidepressants.
我增加了我的抑郁药药量
And I've also just been more anxious and depressed,
这恶心反胃的一年里
this whole disgusting, gross year.
我更焦虑和抑郁了
And now I have dead pussy.
而如今我有一个死♥逼♥
Dead pussy.
死♥逼♥
Dead pussy.
死♥逼♥
Dead pussy. It's essentially dead.
死♥逼♥ 本质上就是死的
Dead pussy.
死♥逼♥
How about a little hug for the Donald?
给唐纳德一个拥抱吧
It's like a magnet. Grab 'em by the pussy.
就像磁铁一样吸住她们的逼
Grab 'em by the pussy.
吸住她们的逼
USA! USA! USA!
美国美国美国
Grab 'em-- Grab 'em by the pussy.
吸住吸住她们的逼
I won. I won.
我赢了我赢了
Let's go, ladies.
加油女士们
Oh, my God!
天啊
Game show president in chief!
游戏节目总统特**获胜
I haven't come since the election!
大选后我就没再高♥潮♥过了
And come is a lot of who I am.
而高♥潮♥很大程度上代表了我是谁
I'm a cum kween.
我是爱♥液♥女王
Good.
很好
Let it out, Ilana.
释放出来阿♥拉♥娜
You're not alone.
你不是一个人
Orgasms have been down 140% since was elected.
特**当选后高♥潮♥率下降了140%
It's been horrible for everyone.
大家日子都不好过
Great for me, though.
不过对我挺好的
I'm technically the only small business owner
严格来说我是人类皮赘
that that human skin tag has ever helped.
唯一帮过的小企业老板
Betty, can you help me?
贝蒂你能帮我吗
You have a little--
你有一个
It's a gray!
灰发
No. On your nose. Here. Take a look.
不在你鼻子上你看
Oh, it's a-- It's a lentil.
这是扁豆
It's a lentil from way... earlier.
很早前吃的扁豆
I don't know how that got up there.
不知道怎么跑到鼻子上去的
It's not a wart.
不是疣
Did you really do all of these yourself?
这些真的都是你自己做的吗
Oh, yes, I'm-- I'm the artist.
是的我是艺术家
I went to this small school called MICA.
我是马里兰艺术学院毕业的
Get out.
不会吧
My daughter goes to MICA.
我女儿在那上校
Sorry, but how old are you?
不好意思你多大了
I'm 51. What?!
我51了什么
Wait, you're 51. Fuck you.
等等你51 我♥操♥
Sorry, I'm so sorry. You're 51 years old?
抱歉真抱歉你51了
I get that a lot. I'm a dermatologist.
我习惯被人♥质♥疑了我是皮肤医生
An Upper East Side dermatologist,
上东区皮肤医生
if you catch my drift.
如果你懂我意思的话
Yeah, okay, I see.
这样啊
But what do you mean by that?
不过你是什么意思
Let's just say I can get my hands on whatever a girl needs
这么说吧我可以接触到任何女生需要
to stay fresh and young-looking.
保持好气色和年轻的东西